"Enjoy!"Damn tootin' I will. It's almost the weekend!
Woman says Abercrombie fired her over headscarfAs they say, "When in Rome..."
SAN FRANCISCO – A Muslim employee of Abercrombie & Fitch Co. alleges she was fired for not removing her headscarf.
Let's clean up the language, Calif. lawmakers sayWell now. It's good to know that what with all Kaleefornia's other issues such as big-time budget deficits, wildfires, mudslides, pollution, gangs, ... they finally have everything under control enough that it's now time to concentrate on cussin'.
SACRAMENTO, Calif. – California lawmakers have a history of trying to keep the state's air and waters clean. Now they're tackling language.
The state Assembly is scheduled to vote on a resolution Thursday calling for a statewide "Cuss Free Week," to occur annually during the first week of March. If approved, it would go to the state Senate for a final vote on Monday.
"If you had a larger thing in pants, your life would have been better."I'm good. Any bigger pocketknife that I may carry would just be obnoxious.
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
"We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper...
"Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted.
The troopers looked at each other.
One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."
The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay ."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"
The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound king crabs and 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch."
Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"
The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
Study: Warming to bring stronger hurricanesWhen was this headline actually posted?
Sun Feb 21, 1:38 pm ET
WASHINGTON - Top researchers now agree that the world is likely to get stronger but fewer hurricanes in the future because of global warming, seeming to settle a scientific debate on the subject. But they say there's not enough evidence yet to tell whether that effect has already begun.
Lawyer: Prof. accused in slayings likely insaneGee. Ya think?
1 hr 59 mins ago
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. - An Alabama college professor accused of killing three colleagues during a faculty meeting is likely insane, and she can't remember the shootings, her attorney said.
Obama’s Las Vegas visit to include DNC fundraiserWhere are all those drunk pilots when you need one?
Obama is expected to touch down in Las Vegas on Thursday and head to a fundraiser that evening for the DNC. The president will stay overnight in Las Vegas.
NC woman guilty of killing Calif. fortunetellerDidn't see that one coming, did you.
Tue Feb 16, 9:33 pm ET
SANTA ANA, Calif. - A California jury found a North Carolina woman guilty Tuesday of murdering a Vietnamese fortuneteller and her college-age daughter after the mind reader told her to get over a lost lover.
"Dear [me] HOT 73% OFFOkay. I get the picture.
Dear [me] HOT 79% OFF
Dear [me] HOT 85% OFF
Dear [me] HOT 83% OFF
Dear [me] HOT 85% OFF
Dear [me] HOT 91% OFF
Dear [me] HOT 75% OFF"
"We offer you an advantageous position in my agency..."Is it the 'doggie-style' position or the 'grab-your-ankles' position?
Taken in 1990 by NASA's Voyager 1 spacecraft, the "pale blue dot" photo shows what our planet looks like from 4 billion miles away. Earth is the tiny speck of light indicated by the arrow and enlarged in the upper left-hand corner. The pale streak over Earth is an artifact of sunlight scattering in the camera's optics.Okay, two points here. The first point: that little dot is Earth. Our planet. Fucking awesome. All the oceans, mountains, people, buildings, cars, forests, good, bad, evil, ... everything we know in our world is on that little fucking dot.
Airport body scanners violate Islamic law, Muslims sayBody scanners violate Islamic law? Why, of course they do! Especially if you're the ones they're trying to keep from blowing up airplanes!
Saying that body scanners violate Islamic law, Muslim-American groups are supporting a “fatwa” – a religious ruling – that forbids Muslims from going through the scanners at airports.
The Fiqh Council of North America – a body of Islamic scholars that includes some from Michigan – issued a fatwa this week that says going through the airport scanners would violate Islamic rules on modesty.
“It is a violation of clear Islamic teachings that men or women be seen naked by other men and women,” reads the fatwa issued Tuesday. “Islam highly emphasizes haya (modesty) and considers it part of faith. The Quran has commanded the believers, both men and women, to cover their private parts.”
Honda adds 437,000 cars to global air bag recallSo it would appear that Japanese cars are shit, and the American auto industry is in the toilet. What cars are people supposed to buy now?
Wed Feb 10, 5:20 am ET Sent 369 times
TOKYO - Honda Motor Co. is adding 437,000 vehicles to its 15-month-old global recall for faulty air bags in the latest quality problem to hit a Japanese automaker.
'Deadliest Catch' captain diesSorry to hear that.
Wed Feb 10, 1:51 am ET Sent 620 times
ANCHORAGE, Alaska - Phil Harris, the fishing boat captain whose adventures off the Alaska coast were captured on the television show "Deadliest Catch", has died, the Discovery Channel said Tuesday night. He was 53.
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'
The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'
So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'
The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'
The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'
'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would buy?'
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'
The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars.
But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a fag.
"VISA 4XXX XXXX XXXX XXXX: possible fraudulent transaction # 53752423178360"Uh, yeah. Since every VISA number starts with 4.
Survey: Las Vegas ranks No. 11 on ‘drunkest’ cities listIt appears we have some catching up to do.
By Kyle Hansen (contact)
Thursday, Feb. 4, 2010 | 5:54 p.m.
Seeing someone in Las Vegas with a tall alcoholic beverage in hand is rarely surprising -- at least on the Strip -- but that doesn't mean Las Vegas made the top 10 in a new ranking of America’s "drunkest" cities.
However, it wasn’t far behind.
Las Vegas came in at No. 11 on Men’s Health magazine’s list of 100 major cities. It will be published in the March edition of the magazine.
Las Vegas was topped by a number of nearby cities, including Fresno, Calif., which took the No. 1 spot, and Reno, which came in second.
Finishing the top 10 were Billings, Mont.; Riverside, Calif.; Austin, Texas; St. Louis; San Antonio, Texas; Lubbock, Texas; Tucson, Ariz.; and Bakersfield, Calif.
The least drunken cities were Boston; Yonkers, N.Y.; Rochester, N.Y.; Salt Lake City, Utah; Miami.; Newark, N.J.; Durham, N.C.; New York City; Fort Wayne, Ind.; and Manchester, N.H.
The magazine said it ranked cities based on death rates from alcoholic liver disease, drunk driving car crashes, frequency of binge-drinking in the past month, number of DUI arrests and severity of DUI penalties.
" Find a perfect Russian wife. "There are two things wrong with that statement.
Iran sends rocket with animal menagerie into spaceSure. Defeat the west. That's it.
TEHRAN, Iran - Iran announced Wednesday it has successfully launched a research rocket carrying a mouse, two turtles and worms into space — a feat President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said showed Iran could defeat the West in the battle of technology.
Capt. Phil recovering from surgeryEver watched that show? I have. And I recognize this guy from the show.
Last night Capt. Phil underwent surgery. Both of his sons, Josh and Jake were at his side. Josh flew in from St. Paul to join his brother. It may be some time before we know anything substantial about Phil’s condition.
Thank you to everyone who has sent good wishes and prayers for Phil, his family and the Cornelia Marie crew.
An old family friend of the F/V Cornelia Marie, Derek Ray flew to St. Paul to take on the role of relief skipper for the rest of the Opilio season.
You have a late night and an early flight.Or, you can pull your knees up around your ears and kiss your ass goodbye.
Not long after takeoff, you drift to sleep. Suddenly, you’re wide awake. There’s cold air rushing everywhere, and sound. Intense, horrible sound. Where am I?, you think. Where’s the plane?
You’re 6 miles up. You’re alone. You’re falling.
Things are bad. But now’s the time to focus on the good news. (Yes, it goes beyond surviving the destruction of your aircraft.) Although gravity is against you, another force is working in your favor: time. Believe it or not, you’re better off up here than if you’d slipped from the balcony of your high-rise hotel room after one too many drinks last night.
Or at least you will be. Oxygen is scarce at these heights. By now, hypoxia is starting to set in. You’ll be unconscious soon, and you’ll cannonball at least a mile before waking up again. When that happens, remember what you are about to read. The ground, after all, is your next destination.