Fun With Spammers

Oaky, I'm starting to get sick of this shit. I'm going to reply to every moronic motherfucker from Nigeria who sends me emails wanting help.
If I get tired of them, I'll just block them from there on out.

Well briefly, here's today's episode:

David Williams wrote:

NIGERIA NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORACTION.(NNPC).
PLOT 56 KARU CRESENT,LAGOS - NIGERIA.
CONTACT:+...
EMAIL: ....

FROM: DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN AWARD OIL COMMITTEE.
DR. DAVID WILLIAMS

MY DEAR Curmudgeon,


MY NAME IS DR. DAVID WILLIAMS, THE CHAIRMAN OF CONTRACT AWARD COMMITTEE NIGERIA NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORACTION.(NNPC) FEDEARL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA.
SOMETIMES LAST YEAR, OUR REFINERY WAS GENERALY SERVICED AND MANY OTHER CONTRACTS WHERE ALSO AWARDED IN THE OIL SECTOR AFTER AN OUT BREAK OF FIRE.
Blah blah blah blah blah ZZZZZzzzzzzz......

You're all familiar with this shit.

Except for this part:

THIS IS AS A RESULT OF THE OVER INVOICING WE DID DURING THE AWARD OF THE CONTRACT. THIS CONTRACT HAS BEEN CERTIFIED OKAY THIS SUM OF $45 MILLION (FORTY FIVE MILLION U.S DOLLARS) I WILL LIKE TO TRANSFER TO YOUR ACCOUNT NOW, WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO PROVIED ME ALL INFORMATION AS FOLLOWS:

That sounds like our government contracts.

Anyway, you know how they are. So then here is my reply to the esteemed 'Doctor':

Dr. Williams,

Inasmuch as I would like to help, I think you may have sent this letter to the wrong person.
You're probably trying to get ahold of my twin brother Daniel who at times used this email address.
Sadly, he was killed when Bellview Airlines Flight 210 crashed near Lissa last October.

You sending this letter has brought so many emotions, I....I just can't go on.

So we'll see where that leads.