Another Useless Study

Astounding:

Music Linked to Marijuana Use

Gee. Welcome to the [name your decade here]'s.

"The Man" has been saying shit like that for - well, as long as there has been music probably.

And the hell of it is, people are still, still getting paid to do this sort of research! How many more fucking times are 'they' going to do this 'study'?

Fuck health care reform. We need research reform. Imagine all the money that could be placed in the healthcare system if we eliminated useless studies like these!


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Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen.

Sheriff's office: 911 call came from Woods' house

WINDERMERE, Fla. – The Orange County Sheriff's Office is confirming that fire department medics responded to a 911 call at Tiger Woods' Orlando-area home early Tuesday.
[...]

Okay, so this shit just isn't going away for a while, is it.

It seems that when celebs fall, they fucking fall hard, no? The sluts are coming out of the woodwork, and I suspect we're going to hear all sorts of shit coming out of that household for the next few months.

Oh well, I guess it gives the bubble-headed news folks something to talk about besides Michael Jackson.



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Fucking Nannies

Eating Candy in Childhood Linked to Adult Crime

Time.com – Fri Oct 2, 4:50 am ET Sent 904 times

A British study suggests a curious association between eating candy as a kid and committing violent crimes in adulthood Full Story »

[...]

Give me a fucking break. Who as a kid doesn't eat candy?

You dumb asses can link adult crime to any fucking childhood behavior if you try hard enough. It's like the six degrees of Kevin Bacon, or blaming global warming on the belly-button lint growing on fat women with goatees. If you twist it around enough, you'll find a connection.

Get a life already.

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Have They Lost Their Friggin' Mind?

Empire State Building lit for China, drawing ire

[...]
Journalist and blogger Marc Masferrer questioned legitimizing a government that continues to repress its citizens' freedoms, including their access to media and the Internet.

The only thing worse than lighting the fucker up to celebrate one of the most cruel governments in the world, would be to light it up in celebration of Kim Jong Il and his oppressive regime over the people of North Korea. Or maybe for Osama Bin Laden with him and his Taliban's control over the people of Afghanistan.

It really rubs my fur the wrong way to think that the owners of that building have even thought twice about pulling such a stupid fucking stunt.

Update: I snagged this 'toon from Protein Wisdom:




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Good Gawd

What's next, monitoring with cameras?

Oh, wait. That would be a pay-per-view thing:

Boston-area college bans sex with roommate around

[...]
This semester, the school has a new policy banning sexual activity while a roommate is in the same room. Kim Thurler, a Tufts University spokeswoman, said the school issued the new rule after a dozen or so complaints in the past three years.
[...]

But what if the roommate wants to join in?

First they want to ban drinking. Now no screwing? What's a college student to do?

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Yeah. Right. Part II.

.... HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAH [choke] [shnicker] BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAH ... [cough] ... HA-HA-HA....

Best entertainer ever. [sigh] That's a good one. BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAHHH.....

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EVERYBODY PANIC!!!

US flu tally jumps to 245 as labs catch up
Sun May 3, 10:01 PM ET

NEW YORK - The tally of confirmed swine flu cases in the United States jumped Sunday to 245 in 35 states, but officials said that's largely from catching up on a backlog of lab tests rather than a sudden spurt in new infections.
[...]

Okay, so we have 245 cases of swine flu and everyone is wearing masks. Yet there are what, 50 million people walking around the U.S. infected with AIDS and they are still fucking without wearing rubbers.

Yup, makes sense to me.



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Earth Day

I think I'll celebrate by leaving all the lights on and the A/C turned down to about 65 degrees. It is going to be hot here in L.V. today - pushing 95 or so. Damn that "Global Warming™".

Maybe I'll go home and change the oil in the truck and pour the old oil in the gutter. Or should I flush it down the toilet?

I really should cut down all those trees in the back yard too. Damn things are casting a shadow all over the yard so my grass won't grow.

Anyway, nuke a whale for Jeebus and don't forget to burn that tire!

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BWAH!!!

Ohio man charged with drunken driving on bar stool
NEWARK, Ohio – Authorities in Ohio say a man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool. Police in Newark, 30 miles east of Columbus, say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.
[...]

One look at this piece of shit contraption and you know the dude must have been plowed to even be seen on the fucker.

Twenty-eight-year Kile Wygle was hospitalized for minor injuries. Police say he was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he told an officer at the hospital that he had consumed 15 beers. Wygle told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph.

Wygle has pleaded not guilty and has requested a jury trial.

15 beers? DAMN!


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Interesting

Here is a sorta cool guitar I happened to see on some random site:



I can't imagine actually trying to play it, but think about this: Can't you just picture Pete Townsend beating the holy living fuck out of a set of amplifiers with it?


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Get A Brain Morans

Police: Hoax Led Workers To Spray Extinguisher, Disrobe
[...]
The employees told police that the restaurant got a call from someone claiming to be from corporate headquarters who asked them to test their fire suppression system. When they did and reported that they had chemicals from the extinguisher on their clothes, the caller told them they needed to take their clothes off.

The workers said they became suspicious when the caller then told them to urinate on each other.
[...]

Makes me wonder if PETA wasn't behind the ordeal.




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Oscars

So, did any of my loyal readers watch the Oscars last night?



If so, for all that is holy, why?
Ugh.


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Whatta Maroon

From the "Get A Life" department:

Woman's record-length fingernails broken in crash
SALT LAKE CITY – A Utah woman listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for her long fingernails has lost them in a car crash. Lee Redmond of Salt Lake City sustained serious but non-life-threatening injuries in the accident Tuesday.
[...]

Why?

Why would you want to live your life this useless?

Can you imagine living with this fucking prima-donna? Is there anything she can possibly do by or for herself?

Doubtful.



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Oopsy Daisy

Threats send California octuplets mom into hiding
Wed Feb 11, 4:12 PM ET

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - California's octuplets mom, already jobless and receiving food stamps, has gone into hiding with her six older children because of death threats, her spokesman said on Wednesday.
[...]

Kind of bit you in the ass there, eh bitch?

In case you've been living under a rock, here's the short story.
This dumb bitch thought that she needed more kids even though she was a single mother, living with her parents, collecting welfare, and had six already.
After one doctor declined her request for invitro, she kept looking until she found one who would. So she ended up machine-gunning 8 more kids out her pussy. Now for some strange reason, taxpayers are having issues with it.

Gee. I wonder why?


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You And Me Both, Sister

Etta James 'can't stand' Beyonce

[...]
"The great Beyonce ... I can't stand Beyonce," James said in the clip from a Jan. 31 concert at the Boulevard Casino in Coquitlam, British Columbia. "She has no business up there, singing up there on a big ol' president day, gonna be singing my song that I've been singing forever."
[...]

Etta James is one of my all-time favorites. I don't blame her for getting a bit pissed at some talentless hack stealing her shit and bleating it out in the fucking racist hoe-down commonly referred to as the presidential inauguration.



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Unbelievable

Senate OKs 4-month delay to digital TV changeover
Mon Jan 26, 8:14 PM ET

WASHINGTON - People who have not gotten their TV sets ready for the changeover to digital signals could earn a four-month reprieve under a bill making its way through Congress.
[...]

I already mentioned this in a post a spell back, but ... why?

Why delay another four months, something that has been in the works for several years now?
Sweet bleedin' shit people. Unless you've been living in a remote corner of the country totally isolated from the news, you should have known for a couple years that this was going to happen. And the senate should be worrying about more important things than who can watch a fucking press conference.





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For The Person Who Has Everything

Here is a web site full of goods that are quite unique:
Stupid Gifts

My favorite is the egg separator:
Or the sperm bank:
But the "Yes We Can" opener is good too:
As is the old favorite - the Hillary Nutcracker:


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FLASH!

Man nabbed after hitting girlfriend with sandwich
Tue Nov 18, 9:01 PM ET

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. - A man faces a domestic battery charge after allegedly hitting his girlfriend with a sandwich as she was driving on Interstate 95 on Friday. Police said the 19-year-old man became angry and hit the woman in the arm and face with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off.
[...]

Okay then. We have murderers, rapists, robbers, junkies, pushers, ... you name it running around causing all sorts of grief in the world today, and this fucking story makes the headlines?

Jeebus Kreebus.



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From The "Who Gives A Fuck" Files

Why it's so hard to swat a fly
Reuters - Fri Aug 29, 12:50 PM ET

CHICAGO (Reuters) - The brains of flies are wired to avoid the swatter, U.S. researchers said on Thursday.
[...]

Oh goody. More money wasted on useless studies.




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From The W.T.F? Files

Yeah. Right. Gummi Lighthouses:



I wonder if the creator of those things still has a job?
Seen here.




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