Couple Funnies

Naughty Johnnie at school. Some classics:

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Naughty Johnnie returns from school, and tells his dad he got an "F" in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks Naughty Johnnie's father?
"The teacher asked me: 'How much is 2x3'?. I said '6," replies Naughty Johnnie.
"But that's right!" says Naughty Johnnie's Dad.
"Yeah, but then she asked me: "How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the fucking difference?" asks his dad.
"That's what I said!"

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One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice correctly.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress, and she looked beautiful in it"

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet, and it turned out beautiful."

She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on Naughty Johnnie. He said, "Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"

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Naughty Johnnie was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said to him, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Naughty Johnnie replied, "My grandfather lived to! be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Naughty Johnnie answered, "No He minded his own fucking business".

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