BWAH!!!

I just stumbled across this picture:



Why do I giggle you ask? Because I used to have one. In fact, it was the fist vehicle I ever bought myself.

It was actually a 1961 model not 1964, but there weren't a lot of differences between it and this one.
The most obvious difference between mine and this one is mine didn't have the decorative stripe down the side. It was all solid color.
Same color of red, but with chrome rims, non-factory 304 V-8 under the console, 3-on-the-tree transmission, black tonneau cover, black velvet upholstery. It was a hoot to drive.
As you can see, there is no hood on front of the thing, so when you would pull up behind a car leaving the usual foot or so between your front end and their rear end, it would feel like you were about to drive right into their ass-end.
That was my favorite trick when I had passengers. It used to scare the hell out of them. Until they got used to it, they would always be trying to slam on the brakes on the passenger's side floorboard. Of course, there were no brake pedals there to slam.


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The Last Comment I Will Make About M.J. (Major Jerkoff)

I really don't understand some people and their fascination with Michael Jackson.

Back in the really old days, he and his family had some hits. Not long after that, he did some solo shit where people thought he was the cutesy little black kid with some neat songs. He eventually became a major teen star, had some hits, did some dancing, blah blah blah.

Then he went fucking nuts. He dive bombed and turned into the world's greatest joke. He was the laughing stock of the sensible populace.
He was germaphobe living in an airtight suit, wearing face masks. A plastic surgeon's wet dream continually getting his face carved until he was disfigured to the point that his momma wouldn't recognize him without being able to identify him by seeing a birthmark on his dick.
He was never convicted, but come on. A grown 'man' sleeping with other people's children? Even if he never did 'touch' them, that is just wrong.
He was crazy, and everyone who didn't laugh at him still shook their head in disbelief.

But now that he's dead he's the greatest entertainer [cough], the greatest dancer [right], the greatest peacemaker [uh-huh] to ever walk the earth. He's Ghandi, Buddha, Moses, Mohamed, Sammy Davis Jr,. Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra and yes, even Jeebus himself all rolled in to one.

All I can say is that I'm glad this shit is almost over. His family will continue to make money off his dead ass. CD's are selling like hotcakes. There are books to be written - with the family's help of course, documentaries to be filmed, movies to be made, and well, you get the picture. This shit will get perpetuated for years to come. But I'll be saving my money.





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What A Crock Of Shit

Stricter labeling urged for bottled water

Wed Jul 8, 7:41 PM ETSent 1,564 times

Consumers know less about the water they pay dearly for in bottles than what they can drink almost for free from the tap because the two are regulated differently, congressional investigators and nonprofit researchers say in new reports.
[...]

I have a better idea. How taxing the shit out of it?

Lawmakers keep doing stupid shit like adding taxes cigarettes - which, here in Nevada, is what pays for 'free' children's healthcare and some college scholarships. And all because they're unhealthy or an unnecessary habit. Then they pass laws outlawing smoking in tons of places, so all of a sudden that revenue goes down.

Then they add taxes to sodas and other foods because they're unnecessary or unhealthy.

Then they add taxes to hotel rooms which raises the cost of rooms when tourism is already down.

If bottled water is so unnecessary and the production of it is so bad for the environment, how about taxing the fuck out of it? People can buy a refillable water bottle at the local Super Big Box store and refill the thing from a 1 gallon jug, or a filter on their fridge, or a Britta, or a Sparklettes cooler, or whatever the hell people used to do back in the old days before there was the store bought shit.

I'm guessing we wouldn't even need a fucked up carbon footprint tax if we did this.



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Spam Subject of the Day

"Erase all your bedroom failures"

Huh? Don't have any.



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My, How Time Changes People

Remember Joyce DeWitt? I always thought she was a cutie:


If you don't remember her, let me refresh your memory. She used to be in the old teevee show "Three's Company" with Suzanne Sommers and John Ritter. I used to watch that stupid thing back in the day. Corny as hell, but then, most sit-coms are.

Anyway, seems she got busted for a D.U.I recently. Here's a mugshot:


My, my. Life's been 'good' to you, eh Joyce?


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Yeah. Right.

Michael Jackson hailed as greatest entertainer, best dad

BWAAAAAHHHHHH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAA-HA-HA-HA....


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Yeah. Right. Part II.

.... HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAH [choke] [shnicker] BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAAAH ... [cough] ... HA-HA-HA....

Best entertainer ever. [sigh] That's a good one. BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAHHH.....

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Spam Subject of the Day

"Every extra inch in your pants means an extra number in your phone."

I don't get it. Does than mean I have to start using hexadecimal?



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Tomorrow Morning

At 5 minutes and 6 seconds after 4 o'clock tomorrow morning, the time and date will be:

04:05:06, 07-08-09

Woohoo!!!


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Fucking Idiots

What???
Almost three-quarters of South Korean male office workers feel uncomfortable when female colleagues show too much leg or cleavage in the workplace, a survey has revealed. A poll of 1,254 employees by the job portal site CareerNet found that 74 percent of men felt upset with the attire of their female co-workers.

Really? I sure as hell don't.

But then, maybe it's because I'm not Korean?



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Spam Subject of the Day

"STOCK UP ON MEDS BEFORE THEY GO AWAY! OBAMA IS GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Couldn't have said it better myself.



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Spam Subject of the Day

"Sauce for dish of sensuality"

Tha's just gross.



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News

Doomed Air France plane was not destroyed in flight

Reuters – 25 mins ago

PARIS (Reuters) - The Air France plane that crashed into the Atlantic last month with 228 people on board was not destroyed in mid-air but hit the water intact and at high speed, French investigators said Thursday.
[...]

I'm sure that makes the passengers feel much better then.



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Spam Subject of the Day

"The more inches in your pants, the more women in your bedroom."

No thanks, I'm tall enough.



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Laws, Laws And More Fucking Laws

So the bobble-heads on the news this morning mentioned that as of today, 180 new laws went into effect for the state of Nevada. At a quick glance, there some half decent ones, but for the most part they were fairly stupid.

One for instance, said that landlords had to notify renters if the property went into foreclosure. That's cool, I'm down with that. It seems only fair that you would get more than a day or two notice if you're going to get booted out of your house.

Another dealt with identity theft. Businesses are now required to show less information on your receipt. For instance, they are no longer allowed to print your credit card number. There is no reason to do that in the first place, and it never should have been done, so too bad it had to be made law.

Yet another was totally stupid. It was something along the lines of this. If a restaurant, grocer, ... whatever business, donates food to your organization and someone gets food poisoning, you can't sue them. WTF?

And last but no means least, our fucking taxes went up. Yet again. Sales tax is now at 8.1%, up from 7.75%.
And don't tell me how I have it better than blah blah blah state, that it isn't as bad as theirs. I know ours is lower than some states. But that is their voting responsibility, not mine. I didn't vote for theses taxes or even the people who raised them. My permission wasn't asked.

And it wasn't just sales tax that went up. Business licenses doubled, payroll taxes almost doubled, vehicle registration fees went up, and the state minimum wage went up which of course, businesses have to absorb. That will probably cause even more layoffs. Fuckers.

Tell me again you White House residing motherfucker how only " The Rich™ " are the ones who will see tax increases! This shit trickles down to everyone. And once taxes go up, they don't go back down.

Fuck You, You Fucking Demo-Socialist Fucks And Your Fucking Fucked Up Taxes.




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A Funny

Farrah's chat with God

On the day Farrah passed away she went to heaven. God welcomed her and asked her what she wanted most in the world. She answered she wanted all the children in world to be safe.....then Michael Jackson died.

Stoled from delftsman


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Why?

Arizona House rejects immigration enforcement bill

1 hour, 50 minutes agoSent 221 times

PHOENIX - The Arizona House has defeated a bill that would have made it the only state in the nation to criminalize the presence of illegal immigrants by expanding its trespassing law.
[...]

Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it already illegal for them to be here? How would adding another law help more than simply enforcing the ones already in place?

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Spam Subject of the Day

"britney spears run over by a car"

Don't get my hopes up.



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Who Knows

Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kern's Views on Homosexuality Ignite Controversy Again

OKLAHOMA CITIZEN’S PROCLAMATION FOR MORALITY

We the People of Oklahoma, Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessing of Liberty; to secure just and rightful Government; to promote our mutual Welfare and Happiness, do establish this proclamation and call upon the people of the great State of Oklahoma, and our fellow Patriots in these United States of America who look to the Lord for guidance, to acknowledge the need for a national awakening of righteousness in our land.

WHEREAS, “It is Religion and Morality alone, which can establish the Principles upon which Freedom can securely stand” (John Adams); and

WHEREAS, “We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by Religion and Morality” (John Adams); and

WHEREAS, “Our Constitution was made only for a Moral and Religious people” (John Adams); and

WHEREAS, “We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the power of government…but upon the capacity of mankind for self-government, upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God” (James Madison); and

WHEREAS, “Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belongs to us by the laws of God (Benjamin Franklin); and

WHEREAS, “God who gave us life gave us liberty and can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are of the Gift of God” (Thomas Jefferson); and

WHEREAS, “Whether any free government can be permanent, where the public worship of God, and the support of Religion, constitute no part of the policy or duty of the state” (Joseph Story); and

WHEREAS, “We hold sacred the rights of conscience, and promise to the people…the free and undisturbed exercise of their religion” (Roger Sherman); and

WHEREAS, “This great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians” (Patrick Henry); and

WHEREAS, “When you…exercise the right of voting for public officers, let it be impressed upon your mind that God commands you to choose just men who will rule in the fear of God” (Noah Webster); and

WHEREAS, “The principles of genuine Liberty and of wise laws and administrations are to be drawn from the Bible” (Noah Webster); and

WHEREAS, the people of Oklahoma have a strong tradition of reliance upon the Creator of the Universe; and

WHEREAS, we believe our economic woes are consequences of our greater national moral crisis; and

WHEREAS, this nation has become a world leader in promoting abortion, pornography, same sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse, and many other forms of debauchery; and

WHEREAS, alarmed that the Government of the United States of America is forsaking the rich Christian heritage upon which this nation was built; and

WHEREAS, grieved that the Office of the president of these United States has refused to uphold the long held tradition of past presidents in giving recognition to our National Day of Prayer; and

WHEREAS, deeply disturbed that the Office of the president of these United States disregards the biblical admonitions to live clean and pure lives by proclaiming an entire month to an immoral behavior;

NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that we the undersigned elected officials of the people of Oklahoma, religious leaders and citizens of the State of Oklahoma, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world, solemnly declare that the HOPE of the great State of Oklahoma and of these United States, rests upon the Principles of Religion and Morality as put forth in the HOLY BIBLE; and

BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, believers in the One True God and His only Son, call upon all to join with us in recognizing that “Blessed is the Nation whose God is the Lord,” and humbly implore all who love Truth and Virtue to live above reproach in the sight of God and man with a firm reliance on the leadership and protection of Almighty God; and

BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, humbly call upon Holy God, our Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer, to have mercy on this nation, to stay His hand of judgment, and grant a national awakening of righteousness and Christian renewal as we repent of our great sin.

Signed on the second day of July in the year of our Lord Christ Two Thousand and Nine

Well, there you have it. The representative makes a bible-thumping, praise jeebus sermon on the evils of the world, and the next thing you know, dikes and butt-fuckers are throwing yet another tantrum.

Well, she is definitely a zealot and has gone a bit overboard. But face it - shit ain't working the way things are going now, so ... well, prove to me she's wrong.

She may not be totally right either, but like I said. Prove to me she's wrong about how people with a few morals don't beat up their kids. Or kill their unborn for convenience. Or worry more about their next pipe full of crack more than getting a fucking job.





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Spam Subject of the Day

"Who killed Michael Jackson?"

Who cares, as long as he's dead?



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