"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Friday, August 29, 2008


The latest Demotivator


McCain Picked Who?

Saaaay. She's a looker:

And she likes to fish:

So what are her other qualifications:
  1. *
  2. ...
  3. ?
  4. uh, she's not Hillary?

Update: I think I may have a bit of a crush on this after reading this.
  1. Outdoorsy
  2. Hunts (i.e., not afraid of guns)
  3. Fishes (duh)
  4. She's quite purdy
  5. Snowmobiles
  6. Takes on the good ole' boy network
  7. Did I mention she's sorta purdy?
  8. "...responsible development of Alaskan resources to benefit not only its own residents — but also the other 49 states,..."
  9. Very family oriented
  10. Anti-environmentalist-nutjob (WOOHOO!!!)
  11. Earned her position
  12. I think she's kinda purdy


"We Will Never Forget"

So I saw a little clip of Jay Leno's monologue, wherein he was mimicking Hitlary:

"I Had A Dream."

I'm sure that was in her thoughts if not in her speech at the honor among thieves democratic convention last week. BWAH!!!!

Anyway, how well thought out by the demo-socialists to have Obamm-bamm's speech on the anniversary day of M.L.K.'s famous "I Have A Dream" speech, no? Yup. Timing is everything.
Now I still think Obamma-lama-ding-dong is still a fucking moron. The only "change" sure to come from him is the increased change in taxes coming out of everyone's pockets.

But I'll give him this: Him being black - or half black or whatever superficial color his skin pigmentation is - he didn't get there relying on someone else to give him handouts. He earned his status. Up until M.L.K.'s times and quite a while thereafter, he wouldn't have had a snowball's chance in hell of ending up in the position he's in now. Good for him there.

But other than that, he's still a money grabbing democrat who has outright stated he was going to be raising taxes. He has way too much Muslim background for my comfort zone. No one has yet to come up with proof he is a natural born citizen that I've heard of yet. And besides. Anyone Slick Willy and Hitlary support can't be good for the nation. I mean, get real! We all know of all the shit they pulled while they were in positions of power.

I guess some Americans do have a bit of a short memory after all.



Spam Subject of the Day

"Need arguments for your pretty woman in the bed?"
No thanks. We seem to come up with plenty on our own.


Thursday, August 28, 2008


Hey Jean, Deb, Guy, Hermit, ... :

Looks like Gustav may miss you this time:


From The W.T.F? Files

Yeah. Right. Gummi Lighthouses:

I wonder if the creator of those things still has a job?
Seen here.


Is The World Coming To An End?

Well, I'll be damned. A celebrity with some fucking sense. It is truly a sign of the apocalypse:
Kid Rock Vetoes Celebrity Political Endorsements

Not one to mince words, Kid Rock nevertheless says don't ask him to sound off on affairs of state.

"I truly believe that people like myself, who are in a position of entertainers in the limelight, should keep their mouth shut on politics," the rap-rock musician, 37, tells CMT Insider.

"Because at the end of the day," he goes on to say, "I'm good at writing songs and singing. What I'm not educated in is the field of political science. And so for me to be sharing my views and influencing people of who I think they should be voting for ... I think would be very irresponsible on my part."

Of the celebs who haven't taken the same approach, Rock says, "I think celebrity endorsements hurt politicians. As soon as somebody comes out for a politician, especially in Hollywood, when they all go, 'I'm voting for this guy!' – I go, 'That's not who I'm voting for!' "
I have a new found respect for the dude. I still don't like his 'music', it is rap after all, but gawd-damn. He is absolutely right. If I hear an entertainer stumping for a politician, that's the first sign as to who to not vote for.
Most - if not all - celebrities have no clue about politics. They live in their own little world of glitz and glamor, and don't know shit about the 'little' people. They should keep their fucking trap shut when it comes to the rest of the world.

I may just run out and buy one of his albums. I won't listen to it, but at least he's not worthy of a boycott.


Democratic "Party"

Here's a little video clip someone in Denver happened to snag yesterday afternoon sometime on the way to the convention:

Democratic Party


Spam Subject of the Day

"Britney Spears Releases Twelve Days of Christmas CD"
Oh, yea. That's a must have. Here's the likely track listing:
  1. All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Fake Tits
  2. Deck My Ex
  3. Frost Up My Nose, Man
  4. Have Yourself A Merry Little Divorce
  5. I Saw Mommy Take My Children
  6. I'll Be In Jail For Christmas
  7. Britney The Red-nosed Alcoholic
  8. Handcuff Ride
  9. Oh Come All Ye Paparazzi
  10. The Twelve Sins of Christmas
Everybody sing the first five along with me! Come on now, you know how it goes:

Britney's Twelve Days of Christmas

♫♫♪ On the fist day of Christmas, my handler gave to me,
A ride in an a-ambulance.

On the second day of Christmas, my handler gave to me,
Two oxycontins,
And a ride in an a-ambulance.

On the third day of Christmas, my handler gave to me,
Three valiums,
Two oxycontins,
And a ride in an a-ambulance.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my handler gave to me,
Four paparazzi,
Three valiums,
Two oxycontins,
And a ride in an a-ambulance.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my handler gave to me,
Fiiiiive faaaat bluuuuunts!
Four paparazzi,
Three valiums,
Two oxycontins,
And a ride in an a-ambulance. ♫♪♫♪♪

That was beautiful!!! Give yourself a hand!!:


Wednesday, August 27, 2008


Does not Obama and Biden sound a lot like Osama bin Laden?
Just a thought.

By the way, here's a photo someone took of the democratic convention:


Give Me A "C", Give Me A "U", Give Me An "N"...

Looks like a typical democrat. If their head isn't up their own ass, it's up someone else's.


This Is A Fun Little Quiz

You have 8 seconds for each question.

My score? I got 24.

Thanks Sherri!


Spam Subject of the Day

Damn right!


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Fucking Two-Faced Lying Full-Of-Shit Democrats

'Meet the Press' transcript for August 24, 2008
REP. PELOSI: Their approval.

MR. BROKAW: Fourteen, 14 percent of--expressed their approval...


MR. BROKAW: ...and 75 percent expressed their disapproval. That's the lowest number that Gallup has ever reported.

What's to say? We have a predominantly democrat congress and senate, and 75% of the people don't like them.
With stats like that, why anyone in their right mind would vote more fucking democrats into positions of power is just beyond me.

It's Bush's war, he's to blame for high gas prices, unemployment, Global Warming™, the squeak in the closet door, the hangnail on my left pinkie, and anything else democrats can possibly imagine, yet they are supposedly the majority in power and yet there ain't a fucking thing 'change'-ing for the better that I have seen since they got there, only for the worse.



Whad'ya think?

Well, whatever. That's what I think of when I see her.


Spam Subject of the Day

"We have hijacked your baby"
I wonder who the mother is?


Monday, August 25, 2008

Ain't It The Truth

Via email:

The only difference between Obama and Osama is a little b.s.



Hallmark, seeing a new market after California ruling, rolls out gay marriage greeting cards

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- Most states don't recognize gay marriage -- but now Hallmark does.

The nation's largest greeting card company is rolling out same-sex wedding cards -- featuring two tuxedos, overlapping hearts or intertwined flowers, with best wishes inside. "Two hearts. One promise," one says.
I guess it was inevitable, but it's still fucking wrong.

But then, I suppose not everyone feels the same as I do. In fact, maybe instead of bitching about it, I could come up with a few inscriptions of my own for Hallmark to put on their cards:

Your lips are so soft,
Your asshole so tight.
They say it's wrong,
But I say it's right.

Or how about:

Our love is unwavering,
Like Gibralter's rock.
Come into my room,
So I can suck your cock.

And for the ladies:

I love your personality,
Your bright smile and your wit.
But even more than that,
I love sucking your clit.

Or maybe:

I like the way you jiggle,
I like the way you move.
I like the way you wiggle,
When my tongue is in your grove.

I know, some may think I'm a narrow minded, backward, redneck jeebus freak.


Whore Rotta Ruv

Yup. The big hoe-down (a.k.a. The Olympics) is finally over with. Allah be fucking praised.
The U.S. took home the most medals overall, with China taking home the most gold, at least for now. After they gather up birth certificates for all the 12 and 13 year-old Chinese participants, the Olympic committee may change their minds on some of the medals.

But in the meantime, you Chinese can go back to your everyday lives now, making cheap shit for WalMart:

Belching your clouds of unregulated pollutants into our atmosphere:

And serving up your paws-ta:

Oh, and the title? In case you - like me - didn't watch the big closing ceremony bullshit last night, I guess that with handing over the reins to England for the 2012 Olympics, Jimmy Page played the guitar whilst some English woman wailed a Chinese government mandated tamed down rendition of classic Zep tune of "Whole Lotta Love". My understanding is that the 'real' version was too suggestive for their tender ears.


Spam Subject of the Day

"Paris Hilton To Invade Rwanda"
Good gawd. This one is just pathetically stupid.


Friday, August 22, 2008

So Inspired

Good gawd. A feller can sure have a ton of fun with the Demotivator:


Spam Subject of the Day

" Add dr. to you name"
May as well add "Asshole with God-like complex" to my name also.


Thursday, August 21, 2008

Spam Subject of the Day

" Rubber seal at trip-lock winding crown."
No shit? I did not know that.


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Amateur Night

New porn channel lets Canadians strut their stuff
Reuters - Mon Aug 18, 8:57 AM ET

TORONTO (Reuters) - Canadians who may have become tired of being passed over as porn stars will have a new, home-grown outlet to showcase their erotic talents.
How fuckin' cool is that!?!? I think us Americans need that channel.

Of course, there could be drawbacks. For instance, just how much are they going to charge, and there is a good possibility that since they are 'average' citizens, we may not want to see them nekkid.


Spam Subject of the Day

"Journalists shot in Georgia"
Hopefully, it was the ones who were reporting on Bigfoot.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008


As Gomer Pyle would say "Supraaahze, supraaahze, supraaahze."

On or about August 12th, 2008, Matthew Whitton and Ricky Dyer requested an undisclosed sum of money as an advance, expected from the marketing and promotion, and as a good faith gesture of the contract.

On August 14th, 2008, after signing a transfer receipt for the amount money requested and counting said money, Matthew Whitton and Ricky Dyer led the Searching for Bigfoot Team to a location and turned over a freezer with something appearing large, hairy, and frozen in ice.

On August 15th, 2008, Tom Biscardi, Ricky Dyer and Matthew Whitton held a press conference at the Cabana Hotel in Paolo Alto, California, announcing that the corpse of a creature fitting the description known as “Bigfoot” had been discovered. A police officer of seven years, on medical leave, labeled as a hero for being wounded in the line of duty, got up in front of the world and told the world of how he and Ricky Dyer uncovered this creature. This has since been proven a lie. It is notable that Rick Dyer insisted on this press conference and told Tom Biscardi he would not release the “body” unless the conference was held on this specific date.

On August 16th, 2008 the freezer containing the alleged corpse arrived with the Searching For Bigfoot Team. I arrived on location at 6PM to provide initial verification examination, biohazard control and consult for security measures at the location. At that time the ice was being thawed slowly without aid, to prevent any decomposition of the alleged corpse. We estimated that the freezer and its contents weighed over 1500 pounds and it would take several days or longer to thaw completely.

On August 17th, 2008 Searching for Bigfoot Team Director of Field Operations, TJ Biscardi and myself, were up early to discover that some hair was now exposed. I extracted some from the alleged corpse and examined it and had some concerns. Bob Schmalzbach arrived and concurred. We burned said sample and said hair sample melted into a ball uncharacteristic of hair.

At that time we contacted Mr. Biscardi who gave us permission to begin an expedited melting process. We set up a salamander heater to heat the freezer. Within one hour we were able to see the partially exposed head, as I was now able to touch it, I was able to feel that it seemed mostly firm, but unusually hollow in one small section. This was yet another ominous sign. Within the next hour of thaw, a break appeared up near the feet area. As the team and I began examining this area near the feet, I observed the foot which looked unnatural, reached in and confirmed it was a rubber foot.

At that point we immediately contacted, Tom Biscardi and advised him of the situation and he began to take action on his end. Later that day, Tom Biscardi informed us that both Matthew Whitton and Ricky Dyer admitted it was a costume. They reportedly agreed to sign a promissory note and admission of what they had done, and set a meeting in their hotel room in California for 8AM on August 17th, 2008.
Well, if you can't trust a cop, who can you trust?



Set 'Em Up

College presidents seek debate on drinking age
Mon Aug 18, 9:57 PM ET

College presidents from about 100 of the nation's best-known universities, including Duke, Dartmouth and Ohio State, are calling on lawmakers to consider lowering the drinking age from 21 to 18, saying current laws actually encourage dangerous binge drinking on campus.
I'm way past - I mean waaaaaay past the age of 18, so this idea doesn't give me any sort of dance in the pants, but I'm sure teeny-boppers everywhere are getting all excited.

Society has pretty much determined that once someone turns 18, they're an adult. They are now entitled to all the priveleges of an adult, and they are also personally responsible for their actions as an adult.
They are entitled to vote for their leaders, they are able to fight and die for their country, and they will also be charged as an adult for any crimes against society.

Now don't get me wrong, I think that for the most part, 18 year olds are idiots. Most usually don't have enough sense to make wise decisions, such as who to vote for. Most aren't mature enough to know why they are going to war.
But on the same token, most 21 year olds aren't any smarter.

Personally, I think that since society has decided someone is able to participate in all the other facets of society at that age, they should also be able to decide whether or not they want to buy booze at that age. If they do break any laws, then treat them as any other adult would be treated.

However, as we found during prohibition, making booze illegal sure as hell didn't make it go away. It only spawned a different set of crimes. And minors are doing just that.


Spam Subject of the Day

"what a stupid face you have here [my name]"
Yeah? Well fuck you. That's no way to win my business.


Monday, August 18, 2008

A Funny


Spam Subject of the Day

"5 ways to make your love more passinnate"
Great. Another ace splelre here.


Friday, August 15, 2008

I Think I Need One Of These

Everybody! Get yours now! Before they're gone!


Ain't It The Truth

I dun stolt this from hyah:

Slightly modified:


Fucking Bullshit

This is about the stupidest gawddamn thing I've heard in quite some time:
Home Depot, Others Required To Make Day Laborer Shelters
LOS ANGELES -- Big-box, home-improvement stores in Los Angeles will have to set aside space for day laborers under an ordinance passed by the City Council on Wednesday.

When the ordinance takes effect -- the mayor has to sign it, and most city laws take effect 30 days afterward -- it will apply to stores such as The Home Depot that have 100,000 square feet or more, or any structure where 250,000 square feet or more of warehouse floor area is added.

The shelters must be easily accessible and include drinking water, bathrooms, tables, seating and trashcans. The stores may be required to work with Los Angeles police in developing a security plan, according to the unanimous vote by the 15-member lawmaking body.

People who live near Home Depot stores have complained of day laborers drinking beer, urinating in yards or other unseemly behavior.
What a bunch of shit. Instead of arresting indecent assholes like this they must now be provided all the comforts of - well, a cafeteria and break room.

Fucking California. When is that fucked state going to slide off into the ocean anyway.

And no, I ain't going say it's all on wetbacks 'undocumented workers', but they do comprise 99-100% of this crowd.


Wherein I Channel Bernie Mac's Ghost

Curmudgeon: "Yo, dude!"

Bernie Mac: "Daaaamn right."

"Damn dude. What a way to go. Sorry."

Bernie Mac: "Daaaamn right."

Curmudgeon: "Huh?"

Bernie Mac: "I say, Daaaamn right."

Curmudgeon: "Wait. Shaft? Is that you?"

Bernie Mac: "Daaaamn right."

Curmudgeon: "Wait a minute...."

Bernie Mac: "Daaaamn right."

Curmudgeon: "Did your wires get crossed with Isaac Hayes on the way up - or down, whichever, or some shit?"

Bernie Mac: "Daaaamn right."

"Whoa. Now this is some shit here. "

Bernie Mac: "Daaaamn right."

Curmudgeon: "I mean, he died the same day and all, but..."

Bernie Mac: "Daaaamn right."

Curmudgeon: "Well, good luck then."

Bernie Mac: "Daaaamn right."


Conspiracy Theory Anyone?

Kremlin dusts off Cold War lexicon to make US villain in Georgia
Russians were told over breakfast yesterday what really happened in Georgia: the conflict in South Ossetia was part of a plot by Dick Cheney, the Vice-President, to stop Barack Obama being elected president of the United States.
Whatever works, I say.