"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween!

Guess I better get home and give the little bastards a sugar buzz...



Actor and singer Robert Goulet dies at 73:

Tue Oct 30, 10:21 PM ET LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Singer-actor Robert Goulet, whose rich baritone voice made him an instant success when he played Lancelot in the original 1960 Broadway hit 'Camelot,' died on Tuesday at age 73.
Like I said, bummer. He had quite a voice. And I actually got to meet him once.

Back in my house painting days, my crew painted his house. And yes, it was a very nice house with some very nice cars in the garage.

Anyway, I was doing some work on the inside of the house while the rest of the crew was outside. Goulet was just sitting there on the sofa smoking a cigar and reading the newspaper, and I asked him what he needed done.

He showed me what he wanted done, and while I was working we commenced to carry on the idle chatter that usually went along with working in someone's home whilst they stand by or go on about their day. It wasn't any sort of useful conversation, it was just two guys shooting the shit. But it was a memorable experience.


Trick Or Treating At The Clinton's

♫♪ Ding-dong... ♫♪

Tricky-treaters: "♪ Trick or treat. ♫
♫♪ Smell my feet. ♪♪
♪♪ We want something good to eat. ♫♪"

The door opens, as Hitlery answers...
Hitlery: "My my! Don't y'all look just darlin'!"

Tricky-treaters: "EEEEK!!! A WITCH CONSTUME!!! "

Hitlery: "No kids, it's a pants-suit."

Tricky-treaters: "Trick or treat!!!"

Hitlery: "Well kids, here's how it works under my new socialized 'Trick-or-treat plan'. There will be no kids left un-treated."

Tricky-treaters: "Uh, okaaaayyyy..."

Hitlery: "Here. Each of you take one of these forms and fill it out. After the specified waiting period as stated in article 3 section 7 on the back of the form, you can then take it to one of the official government licensed treat distribution centers listed in section 10 subsection 37 on page 42 of the form.

"Then, when you get to the treat distribution center - which I am really working on getting sufficient staffing for - you will take a number and relax in one of the comfy chairs set up in the waiting room.

"When your number is called, you will receive a nice, official government sanctioned sugar cube!

"Same sugar buzz without all that fluff!"

Tricky-treaters: "Ah, we don't want no sugar cube. What about a Milky Way or Snickers, or maybe a Kit Kat?"

Hitlery: "Sorry kids. Those aren't an option. Everyone gets equal treatment at the treat centers! No discrimination!"

Tricky-treaters: "Aahhh, but we want real candy."

Hitlery: "Then you'll just have to take it from someone else who has it and distribute it amongst yourselves."

Tricky-treaters: "But mommy and daddy told that wasn't right. Is it?"

Hitlery: "It is as far as I'm concerned. Those other kids don't need all that candy anyway."

Tricky-treaters: "Gee. C'mon gang. Let's go to someone else's house."


Spam Subject Of The Day

"Your dreams of a huge penis are about to come true"
That ain't a dream there sport, that there's a fact.


Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Spam Subject Of The Day

Yeah? Fuck off.


Monday, October 29, 2007

Of The Top 10 Ways To Not Get A Raise

This has to be at least number 3 or 4:
Toying with doll lands man in hoosegow

AP - Fri Oct 26, 4:38 PM ET

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa - A man was arrested after a government agent allegedly found him in an office building restroom lying next to an inflatable, anatomically correct doll with his pants down. Craig S. McCullough, 47, was charged Wednesday with indecent exposure, a misdemeanor.
Nice job, dude.

Halloween zombie mistaken for murder victim

Reuters - 1 hour, 25 minutes ago

BERLIN (Reuters) - Passengers on a German train mistook a Halloween reveller dressed up as a gore-covered zombie for a murder victim and called the police.
Congrats dude. You must have done a bang-up job on your make-up!


Spam Subject Of The Day

"Is your skills about to expired"
Nice grammar there, fucknut.


Friday, October 26, 2007

Today's WTF?

Tell me exactly what the fuck this dude is ... doing, dressed as, trying to prove?

Must be halloween.


Stupid Shit

Lock of "Che's" hair up for Dallas auction

Reuters - Thu Oct 25, 3:50 PM ET

DALLAS (Reuters) - A strand of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara's hair and related items are being auctioned on Thursday in Dallas in a sale that is rumoured to have caught the eye of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
Put his entire head up for auction and maybe I'll think about bidding. Just so I can have a new soccer ball.


Another Useless Study

Study says some Neanderthals may have been redheads

Reuters - Thu Oct 25, 2:31 PM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - Some Neanderthals may have had fair skin and red hair, giving them an appearance resembling modern Europeans, an international team of researchers said on Thursday.
Yeah, this really pegs the "Give-A-Fuck-O-Meter"

Good gawd.


Spam Subject Of The Day

"Balance paid in full."
Cool! Must be that spam mortgage I signed up for.


Thursday, October 25, 2007

California Wildfire Redux

So I hear all sorts of help is on the way to help with the disastrous fires in California. Red Cross, BLM firefighters, Forest Service, even spare firefighters from around the area. I also heard FEMA is on their way.

Of course there will be all sorts of comparisons to the Katrina disaster, such as how since these are rich white folks, federal aid will get there faster and do more. No surprise there.

I'm sure Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are sharpening their horns and polishing their hooves so they can pop up and start spouting racist bullshit of how the agencies are right on the ball this time since it isn't a bunch of po' folks' homes being destroyed.

Truth is, like I said before, not everyone there is rich white folks, stars, high payed athletes or whatever. Those people are staying in nice hotels or in one of their other homes somewhere safe and sound. No, a lot of the people there are plain old Joe's like many of us around the country. Those are the people needing the help.

What I haven't heard of just yet, are the opportunists or looters. Remember this guy?:

Of course, he may be packing bottled water instead of beer this time.


Ask The Curmudgeon

DEAR CURMUDGEON: My son, "Logan," recently started at a new school, and we are getting calls requesting play dates. So far, I have responded by offering to host, but eventually I will have to decide if I feel comfortable letting my son go to a home I'm not familiar with.

I feel strongly that Logan should not go to a home where the parents -- or children -- own guns. How do I ask the question without passing judgment? I respect my neighbors' right to own a firearm and don't wish to challenge their choice, but I simply cannot in good conscience allow my son to play in a home with a gun. -- ATLANTA MOM


Sorry for yelling. Let me try to calm down and broach this subject in another mindset.

Okay, here's what you should do. You should go to the neighbors and ask them if they have a gun. Hopefully, they do, at which point, you can ask to borrow it.
Then you can take it home and learn little Logan the safe and proper handling of firearms. Teach him what he should and shouldn't do with them.
Then you should sneak away to a secluded space and blow your fucking brains out, since you obviously don't know anything about how teaching your kid right and wrong - especially when it comes to being safe and how to avoid hurting themselves. You would rather shelter little Logan from all evil so they never have any real life experiences. You are of the libtard mindset who thinks there are no losers. Everyone's a "winner" in your book. You don't deserve to be raising kids.

Woops! Failed the 'other' mindset thing. ;)


Spam Subject Of The Day

Isn't that the bird which flew too close to the sun and lost its feathers?


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Yeah, That'll Work

Irked homeless man pummels slot machine

AP - Tue Oct 23, 5:52 PM ET

BURLINGTON, Iowa - Frustration and anger over losses compelled a homeless man to bash a slot machine until it broke, an eastern Iowa man told a judge on Monday.
Should have spent that loose change on a bottle of Mad Dog there sport. Calm yer nerves a bit.


What's The World Coming To?

Police told to stop brothel visits when on duty

Reuters - Tue Oct 23, 10:03 AM ET

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - Police patrolling the red-light district of the Belgian capital have been ordered to stop visiting brothels and drinking in bars when on duty.
Gee whiz. A feller can't even take a small break from the daily rigors of cop duty and pound out a quickie any more?


Spam Subject Of The Day

What the hell is that supposed to mean?


Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Today's WTF?

Ever wonder what someone who goes by a handle something like "luvrgirl13" really looks like? :

Glad I could help.


This Is A Major Happening

'Scuse me while I ramble a spell here:
300,000 evacuated as California wildfires rage on

by Rob Woollard 2 hours, 9 minutes ago

LOS ANGELES (AFP) - More than 300,000 people were evacuated across California on Tuesday as wildfires raged across the state, prompting President George W. Bush to declare an emergency.
I feel bad for these people. I really do. Most of them anyway.

Not everyone living there is a famous movie star with more money than brains who will just say "Oh well" and buy another house in Aruba or some shit.

A lot of people are having to abandon everything and just get the fuck out. That wildfire fire business is a scary thing.

My family had a home destroyed by fire when I was in the second grade. Seven years old, standing outside in the winter, watching firemen try and save what they could from the house before the fire and water ruined it all. We were safe and had family to stay with until we were able to get into another house, but it's a helpless feeling when all you can do is shag ass and hope for the best.

Makes me wonder though; I hear Sean Penn is one of the "unfortunate" people from the area who had to abandon his place. What with all the aid and comfort he so graciously and selflessly handed out in New Orleans after Katrina shit all over the city, do you reckon there will be a trail of folks from Louisiana scurrying up to L.A. to give him a hand and offer him some relief?

Me neither.

Best of luck to the rest of you folks though. This shit is going to get worse before it gets better.

Good thing you're a non-smoking state, eh?

The southern California wildfires are shown in this satellite image provided by NASA on October 23, 2007.



Outing gives Potter passages new meaning

By HILLEL ITALIE, AP National Writer Sun Oct 21, 2:06 PM ET

NEW YORK - With author J.K. Rowling's revelation that master wizard Albus Dumbledore is gay, some passages about the Hogwarts headmaster and rival wizard Gellert Grindelwald have taken on a new and clearer meaning.
I don't really give a shit one way or the other. Rowling can do whatever the hell she want I suppose. Her life, her story, her money, whatever. But I don't see what the big deal is.

First of all, these are fucking made up characters in a fictional novel. Why the hubub, bub? Get a life.

Second, was turning a character into a cock-sucker really that important? Is it necessary to "make wonderful strides in tolerance toward homosexuality"? HELL NO! FAGGOTRY IS WRONG! Argue with me all you want, but if guys were meant for guys and girls were meant for girls, our physiques would have been designed differently!

So what exactly the hell was the advantage of making some dude out to be a fag? Did she need a boost in her already copious multi-bazillion dollar profits? Well, duh! Now everyone who has read a book or seen a movie is going to go back and read or watch the entire fucking story again, so they can now see it in a "different light" or what-the-fuck ever.

Praise Allah for capitalism! Democracy! Whiskey! Sexy!


Spam Subject Of The Day

Oh yeah? Same to you!


Monday, October 22, 2007

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Because its ten times cheaper dude!"
You talking about the quality? I believe it.


Saturday, October 20, 2007

History Quiz

Stolen borrowed from Delftsman:

It's been said that if you don't learn from history, your doomed to repeat it, so here's a little history lesson; If you don't know the answer make your best guess. Answer all the questions before looking at the answers. The answers are below the fold. No fair peeking!

Who said it?

1) "We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."

A. Karl Marx
B. Adolph Hitler
C. Joseph Stalin
D. None of the above

2) "It's time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few, by the few, and for the few...and to replace it with shared responsibility for
shared prosperity."

A. Lenin
B. Mussolini
C. Idi Amin
D. None of the Above

3) "(We)...can't just let business as usual go on, and that means something has to be taken away from some people."

A. Nikita Khrushev
B. Josef Goebbels
C. Boris Yeltsin
D. None of the above

4) "We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to give up a little bit of their own...in order to create this common ground."

A. Mao Tse Dung
B. Hugo Chavez
C. Kim Jong Il
D. None of the above

5) "I certainly think the free-market has failed."

A. Karl Marx
B. Lenin
C. Molotov
D. None of the above

6) "I think it's time to send a clear message to what has become the most profitable sector in (the) entire economy that they are being watched."

A. Pinochet
B. Milosevic
C. Saddam Hussein
D. None of the above


(1) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/29/2004

(2) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 5/29/2005

(3) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007

(4) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007

(5) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007

(6) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 9/2/2005


Friday, October 19, 2007

Then And Now

1. Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

1957 - Vice principal comes over to look at Jack's shotgun. He goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lock down, and FBI is called. Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

2. Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist-fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.

2007 - Police called. SWAT team arrives. Johnny and Mark are arrested and charged with assault. Both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

3. Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the principal. He returns to class, sits still, and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is diagnosed with ADD and given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a learning disability.

4. Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is placed in foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself, and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

5. Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark shares aspirin with principal out on the smoking dock.

2007 - Police called. Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. Car is searched for drugs and weapons.

6. Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

7. Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.

2007 - Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Homeland Security, and FBI called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates parents; siblings are removed from home; computers confiscated. Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

8. Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Heather. Heather hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 - Heather is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in state prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.

Johnny sues Heather and the school, settles for $2.5 Million.

Except you don't even have to go back to 1957. Go back as far as 1977 or even 1987 and kids were still kids.


Spam Subject Of The Day

Okay, you got me there. WTF?


Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Darwin Wins!

Man texting while driving hits train

AP - Tue Oct 16, 10:46 PM ET

EUGENE, Ore. - When Robert Gillespie looked up from his text message, he saw a freight train. EOM. ("End of message," that is, for non-texters.) Eugene police say Gillespie's car crashed into the side of the Union Pacific freight train about 2 a.m. Tuesday.
Good, you stupid fuck. Hang up and drive.

Too bad idiots like this aren't removed from the gene pool more often. Trouble is, they usually take innocent people with them.


Welcome Home Big "D"

Just a quick note to let y'all know, Big "D" is home all safe and sound from Bumfuckistan.

Glad to have you back bro.

The pool table is still ready, the jerky is fresh, and the homebrew is ice cold. Any time you're ready...


Spam Subject Of The Day

"craps felt"
If you're talking about my mood, you're damn right. Now fuck off.


Tuesday, October 16, 2007


Some oldies but goodies:
Q- How many men does it take to open a beer?
A- None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Q- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A- Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Q- Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A- It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A- When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
-------------- -----------------------------------------------------
Q- How do you fix a woman's watch?
A- You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Q- Why do men pass gas more than women?
A- Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Q- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A- The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
Q- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A- A woman who won't do what she's told
Q- Why do men die before their wives?
A- They want to.
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.


Ask The Curmudgeon

Yipee!!! It's time for another helpful hint from the wise Curmudgeon!
All the Signs Are There

DEAR CURMUDGEON: It seems that lately my fiancee and I can't stop arguing about petty things that invariably turn into huge rows. I had a problem with her allowing her cat to remain on the bed while we were trying to have some "private time."

I found a cat at the foot of the bed to be a mood killer. She blew up and said I wasn't considering the cat's feelings and that it was a person, too.

She tends to have a negative attitude about spending time with my family, acting like it's a chore. Never mind that my family is about as well-balanced and loving as they come; whereas, if you want to talk about a chore, there is always her alcoholic father and insane siblings.

She often shows a lack of respect that friends, both hers and mine, have pointed out. I stay with her in the hopes that things will get better and the arguments will stop, but at the same time a part of me doesn't want to gamble the rest of my life on the odds that she'll realize the error of her ways and suddenly stop blowing up over silly things.

Is this rational, or should I just cut my losses and enjoy the rest of my young-adult life pursuing greener pastures?

Andrew, Andrew Andrew. You should already know my opinion of cats by now. But to enlighten them what don't - what exactly the fuck, are you even doing in a house where a cat resides? Cats are the most useless annoyances anyone could ever have the misfortune of allowing into their home.

You should take a physical boot to the cat. You shouldn't have to put up with that thing and its evil stare while you're bobbing up and down on Miss PETA. If she don't like it, the bitch deserves the proverbial boot to the street for allowing the worm infested waste of beer money in her house.

And to think she allows that evil beast up on her bed? Let's put it this way, if she lets a cat on the bed, she'll let anything on the bed. No telling what other animal she's had up there before you.
Yeah, she my be an animal in the sack. Then again, maybe it's just that she prefers animals in the sack.


Hitlary's Medical Plan - Or Lack Thereof

English 'pull own teeth' as dental service decays

AFP - Mon Oct 15, 7:19 AM ET Sent 3,049 times

LONDON (AFP) - Falling numbers of state dentists in England has led to some people taking extreme measures, including extracting their own teeth, according to a new study released Monday.
Yeah buddy. Let's have the government take over our medical and dental here in the good ole' U.S. of A. It works so well.


Spam Subject Of The Day

"73% of members got laid zy8"
Sorry, odds ain't good enough. Fuck off.


Monday, October 15, 2007

Quote Of The Day

From C & S:
"Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers."
True dat.


Spam Subject Of The Day

"Did you forget to take your meds"
I forgot something for damn sure.


Friday, October 12, 2007

Outta Here

Okay folks, I'm leaving town for the weekend.

See y'all next week.


Just An F.Y.I.

Via email:

1. $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegal aliens
each year.

2. $2.2 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs
such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens.

3. $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens.

4. $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and secondary school
education for children here illegally and they cannot speak a word of

5. $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the
American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies.

6. $3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegal aliens.

7. 30% percent of all Federal Prison inmates are illegal aliens.

8. $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare &
social services by the American taxpayers.

9. $200 Billion Dollars a year in suppressed American wages are
caused by the illegal aliens.

10. The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime rate that's
two and a half times that of white non-illegal aliens. In particular, their
children, are going to make a huge additional crime problem in the US

11. During the year of 2005 there were 4 to 10 MILLION illegal aliens
that crossed our Southern Border also, as many as 19,500 illegal aliens
from Terrorist Countries. Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine, meth,
heroine and marijuana, crossed into the U. S from the Southern border.
Homeland Security Report:

12. The National Policy Institute, "estimated that the total cost of
mass deportation would be between $206 and $230 billion or an average
cost of between $41 and $46 billion annually over a five year period."

13. In 2006 illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittances back to
their countries of origin.

14. "The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly One Million Sex
Crimes Committed by Illegal Immigrants In The United States ".

The total cost is a whooping . . . .

I didn't verify all these links, but I did verify a few of them so I pretty much trust the rest.

Thanks Patricia...


Spam Subject Of The Day

"Because its ten times cheaper dude!"
Then fuck you ten times!


Thursday, October 11, 2007

Ask The Curmudgeon

The Doctor Is In -- and Hot!

DEAR CURMUDGEON: I work in a male-dominated field and am therefore around lots of men every day. Not until I went to see this physician did I feel what I guess people call chemistry. My husband is an absolutely wonderful man and father. He is supportive, funny, successful and loving. However, I am wildly attracted to this other man.

I made up two reasons to have sham appointments. For the last one I dressed as sexy as I could on a workday, and flirted as best I could without seeming too forward. He was friendly but did not initiate anything.

Then, I saw the physician in the grocery store, and he made it a point to smile at me but not speak. My husband and child were with me.

At any rate, I have a follow-up appointment in about one month. Should I be forward with him? (And if so, how?) I do not want to lose my husband, but I am interested in this other man.


Well, Jennifer, this is simple really. How much does your husband make? More than a doctor?
I'm guessing probably not. Can he give you the lifestyle you've always dreamed of? Nice expensive cars, jewelry, a mansion? Again, probably not.

You should be chasing Mr. Dr. every chance you get. Be secretive about it though, just in case he ends up being an impossible catch. You don't want your husband kicking you out in the street until you find another doctor to catch. After you nail his ass, then you can dump the old man. He can take care of the kids and you won't have to worry about their sorry asses any more. After all, it is all about you, right?

Stupid fucking slut.


Spam Spam Spam

Scammers luring Americans with fake check schemes

Reuters - 1 hour, 54 minutes ago

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Patricia Soens paid more than $400,000 in processing and other fees to claim a European lottery prize she was told she had won. After realizing she had been conned, she killed herself.
Well, good. Dumb bitch. You should kill yourself.

Look. Like the old saying goes, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." If you see some offer that looks too good to be true, check into it before you start giving strangers a bunch of money fer chrissakes.

Now the story also says:
Nearly one in five adult Americans admitted they or a family member have fallen victim to a financial scam of some sort, ...
I think one in five is a stretch. I don't believe that many people on a regular basis fall for the shit. However, if the number is that high, then these people are a bunch of fucking idiots.



Spam Subject Of The Day

"Burger King
Burger King
Burger King: Now!"
Damn! A bit forceful aren't we?


Wednesday, October 10, 2007


Baby got back!

Like I've always said: "There are some clothes that some people just shouldn't wear."


A Charcoal Review

I consider myself a grilling expert. Maybe it's just because I'm a guy, whatever. The truth is, I fire up a mean grill. Therefore, I am well qualified to discuss the virtues of grilling with the best of them.

And I don't mean char-broiling on a gas grill. As convenient as those are, gas grilling is akin to baking a frozen pizza. Convenient, quick, easy, and so on. Sure, in a pinch or in a hurry, fire up the gas, throw on a slab of meat and chow down. But for serious charring of dead animal flesh, you just can't beat charcoal.
And the worst thing, is people using gas grills CLEAN THEM! You go and use a gas grill for a month and it gets to the point that it's well seasoned, and people think it's dirty. So they go and scrub all the hell out of it. Remove the ambiance, the character, the subtle flavorings of a well used grill.

Anyway, I experimented with a new batch of charcoal over the weekend. I usually use Kingsford, which for reliability, consistency and ease of use, you are hard pressed to do better than "The Kingsford Edge". I've tried other types, like some shit that was on sale once at a big box store. Fail. Big time.
I also used "Match Light" once when I was in a hurry and the quickie mart didn't have Kingsford. Bad mistake. I'll go without or cut up a piece of furniture before I ever use that shit again. It gave the meat that wonderful "Ford-Falcon-exhaust-pipe-with-bad-set-of-plugs" flavor. Never buy the shit.

So what was the new batch of charcoal you ask? I see "Cowboy Charcoal" at the store and thought I would give it a go. It's basically kiln baked hardwood scraps (chunks of wood flooring, cabinets, whatever), bagged up and sold. It's not compressed squares like Kingsford, just random pieces of charred wood.

It worked well. Good stuff. The thing about it though, is that it burns hot and fast. If you're going to grill some steaks or chops and need blistering heat for a short time, this stuff is the shit. With the help of charcoal lighter fluid, it was ready to use in about 10 minutes. But it only lasted about 15 minutes after that and it was done. Perfect for steaks.

But for the jerky meat I was smoking - which takes several hours, it was gone too quick. No biggie, Kingsford works great for the long, slow cooking and dehydration process required for roasting or smoking. But I won't hesitate to use the Cowboy Charcoal again fer sher.

Update: In the comments, Susan Her Damn Self asked a question:
"Have you ever tried those flavored wood chips?"
This in fact, pointed out to me that there was sorely lacking a review of an integral part of grilling and smoking: The wood chunks!

Gee whiz. What an oversight.

So to continue, the answer is most definitely, yes. I use wood chunks or chips almost every time I grill something. Sometimes chunks are preferable, and sometimes it's the chips.
The difference you ask? Chunks are bigger and bulkier than chips, and therefore burn slower and longer. So for smoking a larger cut of meat like a pork loin, leg o' lamb or brisket, or even a bunch of smaller pieces like jerky or several chicken breasts, you need the wood to sit there and smolder for quite a spell. You need to plan for several hours. Usually allow around 1 hour per pound of meat.
You want the smoke to get good permeation on the meat in order to really have a smoky flavor. This makes for some damn fine bee bee que.

On the other hand, using big wood chunks for steaks or chops, or even small chicken pieces is a waste. You only need to toss a handful or so of ships on the coals to get a decent outdoorsy flavor.

You can get a couple different 'flavors' at places like the grocery store in the picnic section, or the hardware store in the seasonal section. But to be really adventurous, go to BBQ's Galore and try one of their flavors. They have around 30 different 'flavors' of wood chunks including fruitwoods, nutwoods and plain old hardwoods.
Of course by fuitwood, I mean chunks of cherry wood, apple wood, pear wood and so on. So as to not mislead the novice, these aren't just pieces of wood with some sort of flavoring added. These are pieces of the trees chopped up into bagable pieces.
The nutwoods usually include flavors such as pecan or walnut, and a few others I can't think of right off hand, as I haven't tried them.
As for plain old hardwoods, mesquite and hickory seem to be the most common and easiest to come by.

Now I prefer cherry wood over any of the others. I think it imparts the mildest, yet most flavorful taste to the meat, and can be used successfully with every type of meat I've tried. It also adds a touch of 'sweet' to the product which is a desirable characteristic of stronger meats like lamb and wild game. I haven't tried it on fish yet though, so no comment there.

Apple wood and pecan are a close second to cherry wood. I have had good luck with those on every type of meat I have tried them on. Again, no fish, but very good on other types of meat.

Hickory is right up there in third place. It will add that outdoorsy flavor to meat without adding a carbon taste to it. As long as you don't overdo it. It's a good all-purpose wood for cooking.

I rarely use mesquite, and then only for chicken. It doesn't take much mesquite before you've used too much and ruined the meal. If you get a hankerin' to use mesquite, be sure and use it sparingly until you have the ratio perfected.



News For Vegans

Plants Communicate to Warn Against Danger

LiveScience.com - Tue Oct 9, 9:35 AM ET Sent 863 times

Plants chatter amongst themselves to spread information, a lot like humans and other animals, new research suggests.
Think about that the next time you yank a defenseless carrot out of mother earth, or the next time you're chopping up an onion and it makes you shed tears.
It isn't the aroma from the onion causing those tears. No, it's the communication the onion is having with your subconscious mind about destroying that poor onion's life.


Spam Subject Of The Day

"RE: Moo|) SE><*/"
Uh, what?


Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Spam Subject Of The Day

"attracter sillinesses"
Damn right.


Monday, October 08, 2007

Well, Sonuvabitch

Did you know you could make text bounce around on your blog? I didn't.

I'll be damned. The shit moves

Not that I would want to, but...


Spam Subject Of The Day

"dilatometre similarity decastylos winterless"
Amazing! That's what I was just thinking!


Friday, October 05, 2007

"Honey! I'm Home!"

More random shit:


I Gots Me A "A"!

You Scored an A

You got 10/10 questions correct.

It's pretty obvious that you don't make basic grammatical errors.
If anything, you're annoyed when people make simple mistakes on their blogs.
As far as people with bad grammar go, you know they're only human.
And it's humanity and its current condition that truly disturb you sometimes.

Damn tootin'.


Coupla Phunnies

Ain't it the truth...:


Sorry. No real content yet. Maybe later.


Spam Subject Of The Day

"SEXUALLY-EXPLICIT: yeah so @email.com, I am sexy Russian Girl. ;)"
You expect me to believe that? I don't think there is such a thing.


Thursday, October 04, 2007


I would like to shake this guy's hand:
A Reno television station broadcast a story on Monday of a U.S. veteran, Jim Broussard, cutting down the U.S. flag flying above the bar and taking it away in protest of what the station reported was an illegal display of the flag.

"I took this flag down in honor of my country with a knife from the U.S. Army," Broussard told KRNV-TV.

"I'm not going to see this happen to my country," he said. "I want to see someone fight me for this flag."
Here's the story:
Flag of Mexico Flown Over U.S. Flag at Reno Business

Greg Knight, News 4

On Monday afternoon we received a call from a KRNV News 4 viewer who said a business near downtown Reno was flying a Mexican flag above an American flag... which is in fact illegal.

To read the relevant Federal law, please click here.

This, after photos and comments about the flag were posted on Craigslist this morning. When we were able to have a photographer go and check everything out we found the story to be true.

It also didn't take long before the situation provoked a strong reaction. If you click on the video link in this story we will show you , unedited, what happened.

Click on the video to see what our photographer caught live to tape.
Viewer Posted Comments... courtesy of www.krnv.com
I am disappointed at the reactions reflected here in these comments. I'm confident Jesus would have acted with more civility by asking the owner to correct the situation without a confrontation.

Many of the comments that I see here reflect a vengeful display of ignorance and intolerance exasperated by group-think, with all the restraint of compassion and forgiveness thrown out the door, then having the audacity to claim God is on their side.

God is not American.

From a www.krnv.com viewer, Ashburn, VA
Yeah, fuck you , you fucking dumbass. Just who the fuck do you think you are with your holier than thou name dropping bullshit. What the fuck makes you think you can read jeebus' mind?
Judgemental fuck.
Regarding "Flag of Mexico Flown Illegally Over Reno Business", things like this are starting to happen here in New York state.

Governor Spitzer wants illegal aliens to be able to get driving licenses without regard to their legal/illegal status.

HELP! Those of us who have to put up with all of the government bureaucracies for all of these years to keep us legal will not pertain to illegal aliens?

This is discrimination against US citizens and giving preferencial treatment to outsiders who are not supposed to be here (unless obtaining legal status).

Also, the strain will be on "legal", overburdened taxpayers to cover those who are illegal. Where will this all end? The disadvantages outweigh the advantages here.

Al Kresock, Johnson City, NY
I'm with you there bro.
The man who tore down the flag is a disgrace to this country.

How dare you people call him a hero. This type of pull-your-military-knife-out-and-challenge-obvious-pacifists-to-a-fight is the same attitude that has us in the terrible state of world affairs we are in.

Would it have been too much trouble to talk to these Hispanic gentlemen before violently slashing the flag down and leaving the Mexican flag on the ground? All intimidation.

I am a white American male and had no idea that it is illegal to fly a flag from another country above ours. I applaud the store owner for keeping his cool and not resorting to the same barbaric tactics. By supporting this veteran you are supporting an intolerant criminal.

Travis Widner, Portland, OR
Candy-assed libtard. Kneel before your oppressors and lick their fucking hand, pussy.
Oh, and fuck the store owner. He can go back to Mexico if he's not happy having OUR flag above his.
I believe the actions the American citizen did, was wrong in taking the Flag the way he did. I don't believe that it is necessary to be hostel when defending the Flag. If a law is broken it is the responsibility of the citizen to report it and let Law enforcement handle the situation.

In my mind this man was just looking for attention.

Congratulations to the owner for not acting in the same manner as the veteran did. I hope he presses charges on this man for also braking the law. Remember the law is the law.

Patricia Hernandez, Reno
Hmmm. Note the name. Stupid fucking spic. Yes. Let us all rely on law enforcement to take care of all of our problems.
This is the same law enforcement that releases rapists, murderers and druggies back on the street because our jails are too overcrowded.
I saw the news this morning and I congratulate you on showing a video of a vet tearing down the Mexican flag as it hung over the U.S. flag at a local business.

The law is the law. We all have to abide by it. It's about time someone took a stand.

Maybe we should picket at the courthouse and voice our displeasure over the ways things are going. We have to be politically correct and not offend anyone and yet we are stepped on and expected to do nothing.

I would love to shake that man's hand and thank him for standing up for America. Regardless of where we come from, we are all Americans. I accept it, why can't they? God Bless America.

James Smith, Reno viewer
Why can't they accept it? Because they don't don't want the to share the same responsibilities we have. They want to come here and make money but don't want to obey the laws and pay the same taxes. They prefer free medical and housing.
The gentlemen who took down the mexican flag should be honored for his patriotism and protecting our flag which was being used illegally. The owner of the bar who claims to be a citizen prefers mexico to America by his actions.

Maybe he needs to have his status checked and if here illegally, deported. Then your followup story had to do with more mexicans protesting.

To hell with them, close the border and finally build the fence that GW promised and has funded.

Eddie Lowenstein, Chatsworth, CA
With you too there Eddie.
I think this man is a hero!! I wish more people would step up and act instead sitting down and doing nothing.

Thank you to all of our veterans and enlisted forces.

Krissy Jonas, Sparks, NV
While I originally applauded the citizen and veteran of our military for correcting the flag issue in Reno yesterday, I am concerned about the impression of vigilante-ism the act will have on our society in general.

While a law was broken and needed to be corrected, I believe a less forceful means may have helped to build a bridge of understanding rather than the forceful act of destruction of private property that was exacted.

Perhaps a boycott and picketing of the establishment would have impacted this business owners operation, or a verbal discussion of the fact that he had broken the law would have been better.

Regardless of the owners intention, if individual citizens start taking law enforcement into their own hands, the brave men and women we expect to be the thin blue line between us and anarchy could be caught in the middle of an eventual firestorm.

Daniel Scinto, Reno, NV
The place should still be boycotted. No excuse for not knowing which flag went where. Hell, I learned that shit when I was eight years old. Don't try and tell me that fucking moron didn't know he was doing something wrong. I just don't buy it.
I support the veteran who removed the American flag with his knife.

They don't deserve to get it back after illegally placing the Mexican flag above ours. If charges are brought against the veteran for theft, I anticipate a firestorm of protest.

This is disgraceful!

Ralph Weir, Carson City
Fuck 'em. Let them try and take it.
I was so happy that someone finally decided to stand up for Americans. The way the hispanic community disgraces our flag is horrible.

Next time they decide to march at the federal building make sure immigation is there, because it's only the illegals that demonstrate.

I would love to meet that guy and shake his hand. God Bless Him.

Rebecca Walker, Reno
I think there is quite a line of people who would love to shake his hand.


I Have A Dream

If only....


Spam Subject Of The Day

"We featured it tuesday and it exploded"
What was it, some sort of IED?


Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Damn! I Missed Out Again

Lawmaker shows nude photo to students

AP - 1 hour, 31 minutes ago

NORWALK, Ohio - A state legislator surprised a high school class when the computer he was using projected a photo of a nude woman during a lecture on how a bill becomes a law.
One thing about growing up in the age I did, was that there was no easy access to smut. Sure, you had the usual magazines like Playboy or National Geographic, but nowdays, kids in the classroom get to see all sorts of nastys projected by teachers or other presenters.

Damn. Born late I guess.


What THEE Fuck?

Judge allows class action against Target Web site

2 hours, 1 minute ago

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A federal judge in California certified a class action lawsuit against Target Corp brought by plaintiffs claiming the discount retailer's Web site is inaccessible to the blind, according to court documents.
Fucking California.

Now I agree people should do what they can to make things somewhat fair for as many people as they can - wheelchair ramps built into sidewalks and the like, so disabled people don't have to hop the curb, are reasonable - but give me a fucking break. If you can't see a screen, you can't see a screen. You can't build the world to accommodate everyone, everything, under every circumstance. Good gawd.

Web sites, television stations and movie theaters shouldn't be required to go that far out of their way. There are just some things that some people can't do. And the world shouldn't have to cater to everyone.

Oh yes, this is a precedent that is nothing but a monstrous can of worms.


Spam Subject Of The Day

"Good morning. Francisca Ashley."
Uh, not me. Guess again, monkey fucker.


Tuesday, October 02, 2007


Over the weekend, there was a big wreck on what we locals call the beltway:
Two Killed After High-Speed Collision

Driver Traveling Wrong Way On The Beltway

LAS VEGAS -- Two people are dead after a wrong-way driver slammed head-on into an oncoming car on the Las Vegas Beltway.

Officials from the Highway Patrol said a trooper saw the Nissan speed past at more than 80 mph on the wrong side of the road -- but lost sight of the vehicle while he was turning around.

Moments later, the car slammed into a Lincoln near Decatur Boulevard.

A woman driving the Nissan and a man driving the Lincoln were killed.
This is a 3 lane freeway, with a physical barrier between north and south lanes. So obviously, the car didn't wander into incoming traffic. The fucking moron had to actually go 'up' the off-ramp, then drive the wrong way down the freeway.

Turns out, the person the stupid bitch slammed into was a high school teacher who had only moved here a few months ago.

It seems like there's one of these idiots every six months or so. Someone driving the wrong way on a one way highway. And it seems they're always driving like a bat out of hell too. And though you would think that it would turn out to be an obvious DUI, it seems that isn't usually the case. Usually, they find no chemicals or booze on or in the person.

I just don't understand it. You see a bunch of cars coming toward you, wouldn't you think there was something up? I guess we'll never know. We can't ask them. They dumb fucks always seem to end up dead.

On the other hand, we have dumbassery like this:
Nevada trooper sentenced in freeway crash that killed four


LAS VEGAS (AP) - A former Nevada state trooper was sentenced Tuesday to two to 12 years in state prison for an on-duty crash that killed four people and badly injured a pregnant teen.

Joshua Corcran, 28, who pleaded guilty in June to five counts of felony reckless driving, apologized to the sole surviving victim and her family moments before he was handcuffed and taken into custody.

His wife, Jennifer, sobbed loudly.

"From the bottom of my heart, I'm truly sorry your family members were taken from you," Corcran said, choking back tears. "I'm even more sorry that I was the cause of that."

Authorities said Corcran was speeding home for dinner at 113 mph and not on an emergency call when his Nevada Highway Patrol cruiser slammed into the back of a slow-moving Cadillac on Interstate 15 just south of Las Vegas.
What a fucking dickhead.

But wait! There's more:
Police officer exceeded 100 mph in fatal SR 347 crash

On the morning of Aug. 11, 2007, at about 7:17 a.m. Phoenix Police Officer Jonathan L. Stuart, 24, was driving his Pontiac sedan southbound on SR 347, when he lost control of the vehicle. His vehicle crossed the median, near milepost 178, and landed on top of a Jeep SUV going northbound. Mark J. Ream, 51, drove the Jeep. Stuart and Ream were both Maricopa residents.
Both men perished in the collision.

In a report recently released by the Gila River Police Department, it is estimated Stuart was driving in excess of 100 miles per hour. Witness accounts had indicated speeds from 90-100 mph, but calculations from evidence at the scene indicate a speed at collision of 110.74 mph.

The report also states that an officer had stopped Stuart the previous week for speeding.

Officer Stuart, who joined the PPD in November 2003, worked at the Squaw Peak station near 24th Street and Lincoln Drive in northwest Phoenix.
"Protect and Serve". Yup.


15 Minutes

I don't understand this fascination with records. There are some that are worth setting, but for the most part, who gives a flying fuck?

Good gawd people. If you spent as much time doing something useful as you do setting dumb ass records, maybe we would have eliminated AIDS, cancer, Altzheimers AND "Global Warming ™" by now.

Oh well. Who am I to judge?

From the "Get A Life" department:
Man eats 21 pounds of grits for title

AP - Sun Sep 30, 1:18 AM ET

BOSSIER CITY, La. - He'll never want breakfast again.
Groovy. Lard ass.

Pa. man skips stone a record 51 times

AP - Sun Sep 30, 6:22 PM ET

FRANKLIN, Pa. - A Pennsylvania man cast a stone that skipped on water a whopping 51 times, shattering the old world record of 40.
Yeah, that's a useful talent.

World's most boring TV show to measure energy use

Reuters - Tue Oct 2, 8:26 AM ET

GENEVA (Reuters) - Television manufacturers and broadcasters have produced what may be the world's most boring TV programme to measure energy consumption on new-generation televisions, an energy standards group said on Tuesday.
Most likely another one of the usual sit-coms.

But here's the most useless of all:
Clinton raises $22 million, bests Obama

AP - 1 hour, 48 minutes ago

WASHINGTON - Democrat Hillary Rodham Clinton raised $22 million this summer for her presidential primary campaign, outpacing all other candidates so far with her best three-month showing of the year.


Spam Subject Of The Day

"Dunkin Donuts"
Hmm. Good idea. I'm a bit famished.


Monday, October 01, 2007

Spam Subject Of The Day

Now that's clever. Short, to the point, useless as ever.