"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

In Which I Continue My Neverending Quest To Enlighten The Entire Internet

Now here is a website you need to check out.

Animals Killed By PETA

Swallow Cindy

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
It's all but over for your sorry ass.

Quote Of The Day

Are you having phone sex or do you always drive that way?
How true.

From The 'Get A Life' Department

The Register-Herald--Dishing it out:

Man beams 5,000 radio, TV channels with a dozen satellite receivers
By Amelia A. Pridemore
Register-Herald Reporter

Are 20 movie channels on demand just not enough?

Do constant reruns of “I Love the ’80s” on VH1 have you ready to gouge out your eyeballs?

Then come to Al Jessup’s house — where his 5,000-plus radio and television stations from around the world beamed in by his 12 satellite dishes are bound to keep you entertained somehow.
Jeebus. If you're that hard up for entertainment, you need to be shot.
Go buy a guitar. Maybe a deck of cards. Or even a computer and hook it up to Gore's internet.
Try something a little different.


"Hey Fat Ass!"

People are getting fatter. Duh.

From Roto-Reuters:
Longer needles needed for fatter buttocks
CHICAGO (Reuters) - Fatter rear ends are causing many drug injections to miss their mark, requiring longer needles to reach buttock muscle, researchers said on Monday.

Standard-sized needles failed to reach the buttock muscle in 23 out of 25 women whose rears were examined after what was supposed to be an intramuscular injection of a drug.
See that? 23 out of 25!

So how would you like to be the doctor who gets to look at all the cellulite?

This Day In Music

A couple gems today. First, from thisdayinmusic.com, comes the story of Elton:
1999, Elton John was blasted by the Boy Scout Association after he appeared on stage at London's Albert Hall performing 'It's A Sin' with six male dancers dressed as Boy Scouts. The dancers had peeled of their uniforms during the performance.
I wonder if he makes his boyfriends dress up like that.

Now, we have Metallica:
1997, Metallica were at No.1 on the US album chart with ‘Reload’, the bands third US No.1 album.
Another of my all-time favorites.
But this album was right after they had their little religious phase. (Happens to the best of them.) It didn't hold a candle to the 'Black' album.

Next up, a dead rapper:
1994, Tupac Shakur was shot five times during a robbery outside a New York studio.
Click - boom. Need more bullets?

And now, Michael Jacksoff:
1991, Michael Jackson scored his fourth UK No.1 album with 'Dangerous.'
Yup, Dangerous. It was an omen. Little boys' parents should have taken heed.

More from Billboard.com:

Here's Tiny Tim:
1996 - Herbert Khaury, otherwise known as Tiny Tim of "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" fame, dies of cardiac arrest at the age of 64.
Ahh, the falsetto voice which never fails to remind me of a rake being dragged across a sidewalk.

Billy Idol born:
1955 - Billy Idol (William Broad) is born in Stanmore, England.
Awesome voice whether you like his music or not.

Also born on this day:
1945, Roger Glover, bass, Deep Purple

1929, Born on this day, Dick Clark, host of US TV's longest running music show American Bandstand.
I'm surprised his face hasn't just fallen off by now.

This Day in History

From historychannel.com:
1954 Meteorite strikes Alabama woman

The first modern instance of a meteorite striking a human being occurs at Sylacauga, Alabama, when a meteorite crashes through the roof of a house and into a living room, bounces off a radio, and strikes a woman on the hip.
What are the odds? Astronomical [grin].

Next, the idiot law takes effect:
1993 Brady Bill signed into law

During a White House ceremony attended by James S. Brady, President Bill Clinton signs the Brady handgun-control bill into law. The law requires a prospective handgun buyer to wait five business days while the authorities check on his or her background, during which time the sale is approved or prohibited based on an established set of criteria.
Thanks, Bill. You fuck.
The beginning of the attempted end of our second constitutional right - "To keep and bear arms".

Spam Subject of the Day

Re: That swim do fought introit
That chilly do water get.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A Funny

Another oldie but goodie:


We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year.
The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, July 4 & Dec. 25.

This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done.

This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors must approve this exchange in writing. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy; normal sized people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain the average figure; fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast & take a diet pill.

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers & carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input, should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week.


Liars Or Just Idiots. Which Is It?

Too good to take snippets from, so here it is copied in its entirety, from odysseus.
New Dem Policy: We're Idiots

posted 11/13/05

Okay, let me see if I get this... Democrats argue that George W. Bush is, on the one hand, the dumbest president that we've ever had, but on the other hand, that he lied about the intelligence that got us into Iraq, deceiving all of the members of their party who voted for the war, including everyone from the much brighter John Kerry and Hillary Clinton to the much drunker Teddy Kennedy and Christopher Dodd. In other words, the Democrats' defense of their pro-war votes is that they were bamboozled by someone that they consider a moron. Just how did this happen? I mean, it's not like they were won over by his personality. They hated Bush for winning the 2000 election and he entered the White House to the most rancorous reception since Lincoln's election triggered secession in eleven states. His tax cuts enfuriated Democrats, even as they worked (the economy's been humming for the last five years, despite 9/11, two hurricanes and Paul Krugman's predictions). So, how exactly were these guys, who hated and despised the president, suddenly willing to follow his lead on the Iraq war? There are two explanations, neither of them complimentary.

The first, is that they saw the poll numbers, which showed that a massive majority of Americans wanted Saddam's bottom kicked up and down the Tigris and decided that popularity was the better part of valor. Besides, not knowing anything about combat operations, they figured that since the first war lasted roughly two weeks, the second one should be no tougher, and they'd have cast a vote that showed that they were tough on terrorism, too. Of course, they were the only ones who thought that it was going to be easy. "Why, this was supposed to be a cake-walk," they harumphed. Meanwhile, the president was telling anyone who'd listen that it was going to be a long, hard war. This allowed them to have their cake an eat it, too. They'd voted for the war, then they did everything that they could to make sure that it wasn't fought effectively and carped at every minor error. If a troopie missed qualifying with his weapon and had to re-shoot, it was evidence of a quagmire. Abu Ghraib was brought up every thirty seconds, with Teddy Kennedy and Dick Durbin comparing us to Saddam's henchmen and Hilter's, respectively. There was even a phony Judiciary Committee hearing designed to impeach President Bush, conducted by John Conyers (D-MI), with several prominent house Democrats in attendance and no comment at all from the party leadership. After several years of constant nay-saying, repeated by a credulous and sympathetic media, the Democratic Party had managed to erode public support for the war. But, having done that, they now have to explain why they supported it in the first place, which means that either they, too, believed that Saddam was a threat, or they were hapless dupes. Of course, the one problem with this is that they are claiming to be hapless dupes of someone that they never listened to in the first place, and who they consider their mental inferior in all ways. It's bad enough to claim that you were fooled into giving up your lunch money, but to be fooled by one of the kids on the "special" school bus? Not exactly something to be proud of.

The other choice, and it's a fairly obvious one, is that they're, well... idiots.

I think that this is not only more likely, but far easier to defend. Why? Well, first of all, there's precedent. Remember when they tried to argue that their voters in Florida were too dumb to figure out the ballot? This was a tacit admission of the stupidity of their electorate. How far is that from a tacit admission of the stupidity of their leadership? And it's not like there aren't other examples. John Kerry was touted as one of the brainier members of the party, until his grades were made public and he was shown to have had the same "C" average that he derided in Bush (and lower ACT scores), and that was after he couldn't figure out if he'd voted for the war or against it and decided that he'd done both. How about Al Gore's flunking out of divinity school? Bill Clinton's dalliance with an intern after his policies had cost his party the house and senate, when he knew that he his leadership was going to be under intense scrutiny? Not just dumb, but dumb.

I could go on, of course. Letting Michael Moore have a prominent seat next to Jimmy Carter at the Democratic National Convention, or even letting Jimmy Carter have a seat at the Democratic National Convention (if there's anyone's Middle East policies that the Democrats had better hope that we forget about, it's Carter's)... Dumb!

Face it. Either the leadership knew what they were voting for when they authorized the use of force in Iraq, or they didn't. If they did, then they're doing everything that they can to spin it so that they don't have to take responsibility for a war that they never believed in and have done everything in their power to undermine, but were too politically savvy to vote against. This makes them craven opportunists. If they didn't know what they were voting for, then they're idiots.

I can't wait to see which one they cop to.
I'm getting dizzy from the spinning myself.

(hat tip delftsman)

Tip Of The Day

A kinky move to try on your girlfriend/wife. But you may want to ask permission first:
  1. Insert middle finger in vagina
  2. Insert thumb in rectum
  3. Snap fingers
Made me chuckle.

This Day In Music

From billboard.com:
2001 - Following a battle with cancer that began in 1998, Beatles' lead guitarist George Harrison dies from his ailment at the age of 58.
He had a couple good songs, but a lot of his solo stuff was - well, boring.
2000 - In the penultimate show of its storied 13-year career, the Smashing Pumpkins say a long and loud goodbye at Chicago's United Center, where they rip through three hours of big hits, a few rarities, and several acoustic numbers.
Interesting band. I can take or leave them.
1995 - Then Van Halen frontman Sammy Hagar weds model Kari Karte atop a San Francisco-area mountain. Bandmates Eddie and Alex Van Halen, Michael Anthony and their wives are among the guests.
Sammy, Diamond Dave - I like the band with either one as the front man. As long as Eddy is playing, they are still good. Except when they had Cherone.
1964 - No. 1 Billboard Pop Hit: "Ringo," Lorne Greene. Greene, star of the NBC show "Bonanza," is only the second Canadian to have a No. 1 hit in the United States.
Pa Cartwright sang? I did not know that.

Spam Subject of the Day

"I'd depict not montrachet samovar"
Not me.

Monday, November 28, 2005

My Post Thanksgiving Interview With Michael Moore-on

Curmudgeon: "Okay Michael, You seemed to have survived the big dinner."

Moore-on: [Easing to one side, lifting his right cheek and letting off a ripper] "Uh, yeah."

Curmudgeon: "And you seem quite satisfied."

Moore-on: [Lights a cigarette and takes a deep drag. A small cough and exhale...] "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I'll Take Either

Wouldn't it be a hoot if Saddam ended up with a woman lawyer? Or even better, the prosecuter was female?

Ain't gonna happen. I know. But the irony would be just way too sweet.

Turkey Day Week Eases Into Christmas

Well, that's all over with. The food, the family, the time off, the Christmas commercials on teevee, the fights over bargains in the department stores, the lack of peace and good will t'ward men.

I guess the holiday season is here. At least, that's what the retail outlets are determined to make us realize. Time to start spending too much on junk that will get played with or worn once before breaking or giving away.

Anyway, I hope you all had a good time, and all have a tummy ache. The good kind.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Dear gretchen not frog chinook"
Frog chinook?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Okay, That's It.

Happy Turkey Day and all that shit.

Go join your families or whomever you choose to be with, and eat too much, drink too much, watch teevee too much. I'll see y'all later.

Just raise a glass or a turkey leg to the people 'Over There' who can't do the same, but are trying to make it so others can.

Consumer Reports

In my neverending quest to help out my fellow human beings, I present you with this short brochure on the new Xbox 360. Listed are some of the new features it sports.

Another "You Bush Hating Fucks" Post

As I went to get lunch today, I noticed that gas prices have dropped - around here - almost a dollar a gallon since oh, I dunno. Sometime last summer. Three, maybe four months ago?

Now what I would like to know, is why all you Bush hating fucks were plenty happy to jump all over Bush and his oil grubbing buddies' shit a few months ago when prices were waaaaay up there, but now that they've dropped like 70%, this same "credit" is far from being reciprocated?

That's what I thought. You only like to bitch when it makes him/them look bad. Not when something good happens.

Thanksgiving Week Post #3

I think this may be the final post on what I'm thankful for, as this is the last day before turkey day. And since I probably won't be doing much, if any, posting theis weekend, I'll have to wrap it up.

So here goes:
  • I'm thankful for commenters. Especially for anonymous losers who couldn't find their asshole with two hands and a funnel. They are usually the most entertaining.
  • I'm thankful I didn't slip on any ice this morning. I live in the desert. Ice is rare.
  • I'm thankful for the entertainment value UFO's and their fanatics provide us.
  • I'm thankful Al Gore invented the internet. There's some damn funny shit out there.
  • I'm thankful Coors isn't the only store bought beer around.
Okay. Enough for now.

Quote Of The Day

Some bum with a cardboard sign:
"Ninjas killed my family. Need money for Kung-fu lessons."

Godfery. No, Not Arthur

I just stumbled across some lefty moron's blog clicking on the 'Next Blog' button.
I feel so, so dirty. I'm going to go wash my hands now.

Get A Clue

But prisoners in Guantanamo are being mistreated!
SEOUL, South Korea - A former North Korean political prisoner Tuesday offered grim details of life in a communist regime prison camp, saying he saw many inmates die from overwork and starvation.

The ex-inmate, who survived the prison camp at Yodok, about 70 miles northwest of Pyongyang, said a former defector was beaten to death for having contacted Christian representatives in China, he said.

"Most people died of malnutrition and its complications," said the inmate, who used the pseudonym Kim Chol-soo to protect relatives in the North from retaliation. Wearing a dark hat and hospital mask to hide his face, Kim told a news conference that prisoners received a starvation ration of 21 ounces of food a day.
We're going to be heading to North Korea soon to kick some ass.
And I won't object.

This Day in History

From HistoryChannel.com:

November 23, 1859

The infamous Western outlaw known as "Billy the Kid" is born in a poor Irish neighborhood on New York City's East Side. Before he was shot dead at age 21, Billy reputedly killed 27 people in the American West.

Spam Subject of the Day

"That boric did mainline phenylalanine"
Damn tweakers.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Thanksgiving Week Post #2

More shit I'm thankful for:
  • I'm thankful they invented XM. No commercials on the music stations. None. At all.
  • I'm thankful I have a short week this week.
  • I'm thankful I have a "Mute" button on my teevee remote. (See the first item).
Okay. More later maybe.

Quote Of The Day

This is good:
"When you wish upon a star, your dreams can come true.
Unless that star is actuall a meteorite hurtling toward earth, and will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much screwed no matter what you wish for.
Unless you're wishing for death by meteorite."


Back in December of aught three, PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals oops, did I say that? ) passed out an idiotic brochure trying to convince children that their parents were mistreating animals by well, putting them on a plate:

Well, now they have gone and made one for daddy too:

And again, it wants the child to ask their daddy why he's 'hooked' on killing.

I wonder what those fucks would say to this?:

Search Phrases From The Dark Side

Okay, time for the latest search phrase that brought someone to my blog:
www.young girls in rope bondage.com
Sorry. You won't find that here.

An Inside Look

Go here and just move your mouse around over the picture.

This Day in History

Another busy day in history. From HistoryChannel.com:

First up, Marylin Monroe's Boyfriend Killed:
1963 Kennedy assassinated

President John F. Kennedy is assassinated during a visit to Dallas, Texas. His death caused intense mourning in the United States and brought Vice President Lyndon Johnson to the presidency.

Next, we have the death of another one of the most famous sluts:
1980 Mae West dies

Actress and writer Mae West dies at the age of 88.

ARRRR!!! Then we'll be havin' the death of a pirate:
1718 Blackbeard killed off North Carolina

Edward Teach, also known as Blackbeard, is killed off North Carolina's Outer Banks during a bloody battle with a British navy force sent from Virginia.

And finally, the birth of the Stealth bomber:
1988 Stealth bomber unveiled

In the presence of members of Congress and the media, the Northrop B-2 "stealth" bomber is shown publicly for the first time at Air Force Plant 42 in Palmdale, California.
Well, that's enough for now.

Update: It may also be of interest to you, that on this day in 1997, Michael Hutchence - lead singer of INXS - was found hanging from the end of a rope in a hotel room. Got a little carried away jerking off evidently.

Spam Subject of the Day

"I'd carol may deconvolution bucknell"
Me too. Bucknell that is.

Monday, November 21, 2005

403 Against, 3 For, 22 No Vote

I know, it's a few days late, but shut the fuck up! I was out of town, okay?

With the supposed unpopularity of the war and so many people thinking we need to just give up, take our ball and go home, the House of Representatives finally said "Okay, let's just fucking vote and get it over with."
So they did. It is.

22 representatives didn't vote. But of the 406 who voted, 403 said "Bullshit, we're going to stay until the job is done." Three said, "Cindy Sheehan is a God! Let's give up!"

Now the part that has me saying "Wha-a-a?" isn't that the three who voted for premature withdrawal were Democrats. That's a given. The part that confuses me is - that's all?
After all this bitching and moaning, there are really only three assholes dissenters that really want to leave early?


Now, how about:

Thanksgiving Week Post #1

This apparently, is the time of year when bloggers start posting all the things they are thankful for. Not to be left out, I will offer up my Thanksgiving post, and if I think of more things I can add to the list throughout the week, I'll just go ahead and toss up another post. Sound good? I thought so

So let's get started then:
  • I'm thankful I have a daytime job so I don't have to watch shitty daytime teevee shows like Jerry Spinger, Judge ____________, Let's Concentrate And Spin A Deal Of Fortune, and ugh - any soap opera.
  • I'm thankful I learned how to brew my own beer.
  • I'm thankful I don't personally know any of those narrow-minded, looney, extreme left morons. Reading any of their blogs is as dirty as I ever want my hands to be.
  • I'm thankful I'm not one of them.
  • I'm thankful the price of gas has gone down, now that summer vacation driving season is done.
Okay. That's enough for now. More as I think of them.

Would That We Could Smash Lefty Media Too

In it's entirety from The Gun Guy
Mission Accomplished

When public support for a war appears to be waning, the inevitable effect is that the morale of the soldiers will suffer—if we shouldn’t be here, goes the question, then why am I risking my life?
Pentagon officials say they are increasingly worried that Washington’s political fight over the Iraq war will dampen what has been high morale among troops fighting a tenacious and deadly enemy.

Commanders are telling Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld that ground troops do not understand the generally negative press that their missions receive, despite what they consider significant achievements in rebuilding Iraq and instilling democracy.

The commanders also worry about the public’s declining support for the mission and what may be a growing movement inside the Democratic Party to advocate troop withdrawal from Iraq.

“They say morale is very high,” said a senior Pentagon official of reports filed by commanders with Washington. “But they relate comments from troops asking, ‘What the heck is going on back here’ and why America isn’t seeing the progress they are making or appreciating the mission the way those on the ground there do. My take is that they are wondering if America is still behind them."
This self-doubt, and the accompanying loss of faith in the cause, is what undermines a war effort.

Of course, this has always been the goal of the anti-war Left and their followers (that would be academia, the Press, and liberals everywhere).

I know what all this is about. The Democrats, facing electoral disaster, are trying to use the war to weaken the Republicans. They don’t care a damn about falling troop morale, or the fact that if we did leave Iraq, the place would disappear into a maelstrom of civil war and death.

None of that matters to the Left. All they care about is regaining control of the government, and they don’t care about Iraqis, or anyone else—power is all that matters to them.

They don’t care that even if we did pull out of Iraq, we’d only have to go back there later, at greater expense and higher loss of life. Just as long as the Democrats can pick up six or seven Senate seats, and dent the Republican majority in the House, and use that to springboard Hillary and Bill Clinton back into the White House—well, who cares if troop morale vanishes? The Democrats hate the military, anyway.

I’m so sick of this. The next time I see some twerp carrying an antiwar sign, I’m going to smash him in the face with a brick. Then I’m going to take a picture of his bleeding face, and send that pic to Stars and Stripes, with the caption: “You do your job over there, and we’ll do ours over here.”

Enough is enough.
Brick, hammer, rock, foot, fist, anything will work.

A Funny

Here's a picture someone sent me of a redneck Christmas decoration.


Spam Subject of the Day

"I'd dinnerware why hashish chauffeur"
Yeah, me too.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Quote Of The Day

Okay, okay. I take it back.
Unfuck You.

Body Piercing

Guys all over the world are trying to talk their wives into having this piercing done. But it isn't cheap:

Stupid Stupid Stupid

I have a real problem with this self serving idiot:
Reiner Closes in on Calif. Ballot Measure - Yahoo! News:

SACRAMENTO, Calif. - Film director and Democratic activist Rob Reiner has collected more than a million signatures to get an initiative on the June ballot that would fund preschool for all California children.

Reiner's measure would increase income tax rates for the top 0.6 percent of income earners to guarantee a year of preschool for all 4-year-olds.

The initiative would raise an estimated $2.4 billion a year by increasing income taxes by 1.7 percent for individuals who earn at least $400,000 a year, or couples earning $800,000. It also would increase training for preschool teachers and require that they be paid at the level of public school teachers in the same county.
Notice that it said "all California children". That means it isn't limited to citizens.

But here's the big issue to me. We can't seem to fund the public schools now and this moron wants to start schooling at an even younger age? And by raising taxes to boot!
Well, he's getting all sorts of signatures, so Californians must be liking it.

I think we try to fix what's broken now, before creating more shit to break.

This Day in History

Busy day in history today. First, let's celebrate:

Happy Kool-Aid Day!

From HistoryChannel.com:
November 18, 1978

People's Temple leader Jim Jones leads hundreds of his followers in a mass murder-suicide at their agricultural commune in remote northwestern Guyana. The few cult members who refused to take the cyanide-laced fruit-flavored concoction were either forced to do so at gunpoint or shot as they fled. The final death toll was 913, including 276 children.

Next, we have Terrorists? What terrorists?
1991 Terry Waite released

Shiite Muslim kidnappers in Lebanon free Anglican Church envoy Terry Waite after more than four years of captivity.

And now, 'Mammy':
1932 Al Jolson's radio show launches

Al Jolson makes his debut as radio host on Kraft Music Hall. Under various titles and on different stations, Jolson will continue to host his own radio variety program until 1949.

And lastly, there's the DeSoto Demise:
1960 The End Of The DeSoto

The Chrysler DeSoto was a hit even before the first model was built in the summer of 1928. When Walter P. Chrysler announced that his Chrysler Corporation intended to build a mid-priced vehicle boasting six-cylinders, dealerships signed on immediately, and in the first 12 months of production the DeSoto set a sales record that stood for 30 years.

On this day, just two weeks after the 1961 DeSoto was introduced to an uninterested market, Chrysler announced the termination of the DeSoto marque.
My parents used to have one of them tanks. I'm not sure what year it was, but it was no newer than about a 1945 model, and this was in the early '60's.
We could hear it coming from blocks away. The neighbors didn't appreciate it much either.

Another Actual Search Phrase Which Brought Someone To My Blog

utah girls that want to fuck
I'm sure there's a long list kept somewhere, just not on my blog.

Day By Day

Be sure and take a look at the Day By Day cartoon at the very bottom of this page. What a hoot.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Hello earthen hi chicagoan"
Sorry, not from Chicago.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Any STNG Fans?

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Hush Now. Don't Say This Out Loud

From Roto-Reuters:
American charged with Iraq bribes: NYT

NEW YORK (Reuters) - American Philip Bloom, who controlled three companies that worked on reconstruction in Iraq, was charged on Wednesday with paying bribes and kickbacks to U.S. occupation authorities and their spouses, The New York Times reported.

Bloom was charged with conspiracy, wire fraud, conspiracy to launder money and interstate transportation of stolen property, the newspaper said.

It cited a complaint unsealed in the Federal District Court of the District of Columbia.

A spokesman for the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction told the Times this will not be the last case filed in the investigation of the reconstruction effort. He said as many as a dozen cases had been sent to the U.S. Justice Department for possible prosecution.

The complaint accuses Bloom of paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to obtain up to $3.5 million in reportedly fraudulent construction contracts, the paper said.

It said the complaint also cites two unnamed co-conspirators who worked in the Coalition Provisional Authority as the officials who, along with their spouses, allegedly received the payments.

The complaint said one of the co-conspirators held the position of comptroller and financing officer for "C.P.A. South Central Region in Iraq," according to the Times.
Funny, I didn't see the words 'Halli' or 'burton' anywhere in that article.
Do you mean to tell me that maybe, just maybe, there could be someone profiting on this war but who has nothing to do with the Bush administration?

I'm aghast. Shocked I say.

Too Funny

Search phrase that brought someone to my site yesterday:
Uh, I hope you found what you were looking for.

Spam Subject of the Day

"I cometh so thunderclap"
Must be talking about Michael Moore-on again.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

This Is Just Wrong

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Fucking Obnoxious

On Bluesville.

Now a harmonica - in limited amounts - can be a decent instrument.
But as with any other instrument, you get too repititious and it sounds like shit!
Playing the same licks over and over and over and over is not - I repeat NOT talent. It's just plain old repitition.

There, I feel better. And I just know the appropriate people will read this and take it to heart.

Speaking Of Liberals

I stole borrowed this from Mark:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

The Headline:

Researchers: Hops in Beer May Be Healthy
AP - Tue Nov 15, 7:10 AM ET

CORVALLIS, Ore. - Hops used to brew beer may have some health benefits but researchers warn against expecting any significant effect by drinking a few cold ones.

Heh. It's worth a try...

"Pain Is Not Uncommon..."

Yet another reason to avoid socialized medicine.

From Roto-Reuters:
KOLKATA, India (Reuters) - A woman receiving treatment for diabetes at a state-run hospital in eastern India lost one of her eyes after ants nibbled away at it, officials said on Tuesday.

The patient recovering from a post-surgery infection shrieked for help as the ants attacked her on Sunday night, but nurses told her it was normal to feel pain from the infection.

On Monday, the patient's family saw a gaping hole with swarming ants in it when they lifted the bandage on her left eye.

Authorities of the Sambhunath Hospital in Kolkata said they were probing the incident.

"It's not uncommon for ants to attack diabetic patients. We have set up a committee to investigate the unfortunate incident," hospital superintendent A. Adhikary said.

Scampering rats and stray cats and dogs sharing bed space with patients are not uncommon sights at India's overcrowded state-run hospitals that are used by millions of poor and middle-class people.
After being married to a nurse for 20-odd years, I know they become somewhat jaded. They deal with patients who whine at the slightest thing. Not all patients are that way, but they are there. However, a good nurse will still investigate.

There is already a shortage of health care professionals coutry wide. And since the government wouldn't make any money on hospitals in this sort of situation, you can damn well expect the quality of employees as well as the quality of care to drop sharply were the government to ever take it over.

My Latest Interview With Michael Moore-on

Curmudgeon: So Michael, it's been a while since we've talked. What's going on?

Moore-on:I'm getting really excited. It's almost Thanksgiving you know.

Curmudgeon: Hey! You're right! Huge dinner coming up. Any plans?

Moore-on:Mmmm. Mmmm. I - I'm, I think I have a boner.

Curmudgeon: Whoa dude. Too much information.

Moore-on:Ooo yeah. That's it. Yes. I've got wood. All this food. Mmmmmm.

Curmudgeon: Good gawd!

Moore-on:Oooo yeah. That's it baby, mmmmmm..... Turkey with gravy, dressing with a little gravy poured on it, mashed potatoes and gravy, oooo, I don't think I can walk....

Curmudgeon: And don't forget the pie.


Curmudgeon: ick.

Moore-on:Will you excuse me a minute, I - I'll be right back.

Curmudgeon: Uh, that's ok. I'll talk to you another time.

This Day In Music

From Billboard.com:
1970 - No. 1 Billboard Pop Hit: "I Think I Love You," The Partridge Family. The song reaches the top spot exactly two months and four days after "The Partridge Family" TV show debuts.
Ahh, The Partridge Family. What guy wasn't in love with Lori Partridge?
1960 - No. 1 Billboard Pop Hit: "Stay," Maurice Williams & the Zodiacs. The song is the shortest No. 1 single in the rock era, at one minute and 37 seconds.
Of course, Jackson Brown figured out a way to make it much, much longer.

Any Conspiracy Theorists Out There?

Take a look at this video of the the Pentagon on 9/11.

Gets you to thinking.

Spam Subject of the Day

"his finish is nearly"
We could only hope.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Oh, The Shame

I hope you all don't hold it against me, that I happen to harken from the same state as Harry Reid.
What I'm referring to is his comments on Bush's Veteran's Day speach last friday. The gist of which I finally got to read here.

Parroting the usual vomit, Reid says:
"On this Veterans Day, the president had the opportunity to honor our troops, both those who have served and those who are currently serving, by laying out a clear strategy for success in the war in Iraq. Instead, the president resorted to his old playbook of discredited rhetoric about the War on Terror and political attacks as his own political fortunes and credibility diminish," Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid of Nevada said in a statement.

"Attacking those patriotic Americans who have raised serious questions about the case the Bush administration made to take our country to war does not provide us a plan for success that will bring our troops home."
This asshole grew up in a teensy mining town of about 2000 people, in the middle of the desert. Obviously, he spent too much time out of doors in the hot sun sniffing arsenic fumes and chewing on paint chips.

And of course, Kennedy has to add his 2 cents worth of spittle:
"It's deeply regrettable that the president is using Veterans Day as a campaign-like attempt to rebuild his own credibility by tearing down those who seek the truth about the clear manipulation of intelligence in the run-up to the Iraq war," added Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass. "Instead of providing open and honest answers about how we will achieve success in Iraq and allow our troops to begin to come home, the president reverted to the same manipulation of facts to justify a war we never should have fought."
Good gawd. You would think they would read, or re-read, their own intelligence reports. Since they were after all, the same ones Bush was privvy to. But no, they would rather try to slam Bush, discredit his actions, bring on bad morale, and further their own objectives.

If there was even half the postitive "Support Our Troops" attitude today as there was back during 'The Big One', these morons would be labelled as communists and tossed over the Canadian border. Or shot.
Which, if I had my druthers - well - I wouldn't wish them on any other country.


When I get old a frail and it's time for me to go to the nursing home, I want to go here.

DUBLIN, Ireland - A nursing home in Ireland has hit on a cheering way to keep up the spirits of its elderly patients -- by providing its own pub.

St Mary’s Hospital in County Monaghan, near the Irish border with Northern Ireland, believes ready access to a good pint may help its patients -- average age 85 -- actually live longer.

“We would say the whole social aspect of life does extend the years -- it means the patients aren’t bored to death,” Rose Mooney, assistant director of nursing told Reuters.
Why hasn't this been thought of already?

Spam Subject of the Day

"I'll isentropic he bandpass"
Yeah, me too.

Monday, November 14, 2005

A Worthwhile Read

This is a wee bit long, but it is worth reading and a lot of contemplation.
As you read it though, keep in mind it was written prior to all the rioting hullabaloo going on right now in France.

Sent via email:

This WAR is for REAL!

To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it. Our country is now facing the most serious threat to its existence, as we know it, that we have faced in your lifetime and mine (which includes WWII).

The deadly seriousness is greatly compounded by the fact that there are very few of us who think we can possibly lose this war and even fewer who realize what losing really means.

First, let's examine a few basics:

1. When did the threat to us start?

Many will say September 11, 2001. The answer as far as the United States is concerned is 1979, 22 years prior to September 2001 with the following attacks on us:
  • Iran Embassy Hostages, 1979;
  • Beirut, Lebanon Embassy 1983;
  • Beirut, Lebanon Marine Barracks 1983;
  • Lockerbie, Scotland Pan-Am flight to New York 1988;
  • First New York World Trade Center attack 1993;
  • Dhahran, Saudi Arabia Khobar Towers Military complex 1996;
  • Nairobi, Kenya US Embassy 1998;
  • Dares Salaam, Tanzania US Embassy 1998;
  • Aden, Yemen USS Cole 2000;
  • New York World Trade Center 2001;
  • Pentagon 2001.
(Note that during the period from 1981 to 2001 there were 7,581 terrorist attacks worldwide).

2. Why were we attacked?

Envy of our position, our success, and our freedoms. The attacks happened during the administrations of Presidents Carter, Reagan, Bush 1, Clinton and Bush 2. We cannot fault either the Republicans or Democrats as there were no provocations by any of the presidents or their immediate predecessors, Presidents Ford or Carter.

3. Who were the attackers?

In each case, the attacks on the US were carried out by Muslims.

4. What is the Muslim population of the World?

5. Isn't the Muslim Religion peaceful?

Hopefully, but that is really not material. There is no doubt that the predominately Christian population of Germany was peaceful, but under the dictatorial leadership of Hitler (who was also Christian), that made no difference. You either went along with the administration or you were eliminated. There were 5 to 6 million Christians killed by the Nazis for political reasons (including 7,000 Polish priests). (see http://www.nazis.testimony.co.uk/7-a.htm )

Thus, almost the same number of Christians were killed by the Nazis, as the six million holocaust Jews who were killed by them, and we seldom heard of anything other than the Jewish atrocities. Although Hitler kept the world focused on the Jews, he had no hesitancy about killing anyone who got in his way of exterminating the Jews or of taking over the world - German, Christian or any others.

Same with the Muslim terrorists. They focus the world on the US, but kill all in the way -- their own people or the Spanish, French or anyone else.
The point here is that just like the peaceful Germans were of no protection to anyone from the Nazis, no matter how many peaceful Muslims there may be, they are no protection for us from the terrorist Muslim leaders and what they are fanatically bent on doing -- by their own pronouncements -- killing all of us "infidels." I don't blame the peaceful Muslims. What would you do if the choice was shut up or die?

6. So who are we at war with?

There is no way we can honestly respond that it is anyone other than the Muslim terrorists. Trying to be politically correct and avoid verbalizing this conclusion can well be fatal. There is no way to win if you don't clearly recognize and articulate who you are fighting.

So with that background, now to the two major questions:

1. Can we lose this war?

2. What does losing really mean?

If we are to win, we must clearly answer these two pivotal questions.

We can definitely lose this war, and as anomalous as it may sound, the major reason we can lose is that so many of us simply do not fathom the answer to the second question - What does losing mean?

It would appear that a great many of us think that losing the war means hanging our heads, bringing the troops home and going on about our business, like post Vietnam. This is as far from the truth as one can get.

What losing really means is:

We would no longer be the premier country in the world. The attacks will not subside, but rather will steadily increase. Remember, they want us dead, not just quiet. If they had just wanted us quiet, they would not have produced an increasing series of attacks against us, over the past 18 years. The plan was clearly, for terrorist to attack us, until we were neutered and submissive to them.

We would of course have no future support from other nations, for fear of reprisals and for the reason that they would see, we are impotent and cannot help them.

They will pick off the other non-Muslim nations, one at a time. It will be increasingly easier for them. They already hold Spain hostage. It doesn't matter whether it was right or wrong for Spain to withdraw its troops from Iraq. Spain did it because the Muslim terrorists bombed their train and told them to withdraw the troops. Anything else they want Spain to do will be done. Spain is finished.

The next will probably be France. Our one hope on France is that they might see the light and realize that if we don't win, they are finished too, in that they can't resist the Muslim terrorists without us. However, it may already be too late for France. France is already 20% Muslim and fading fast!

If we lose the war, our production, income, exports and way of life will all vanish as we know it. After losing, who would trade or deal with us, if they were threatened by the Muslims.

If we can't stop the Muslims, how could anyone else?

The Muslims fully know what is riding on this war, and therefore are completely committed to winning, at any cost. We better know it too and be likewise committed to winning at any cost.

Why do I go on at such lengths about the results of losing? Simple.
Until we recognize the costs of losing, we cannot unite and really put 100% of our thoughts and efforts into winning. And it is going to take that 100% effort to win.

So, how can we lose the war?

Again, the answer is simple. We can lose the war by "imploding." That is, defeating ourselves by refusing to recognize the enemy and their purpose, and really digging in and lending full support to the war effort. If we are united, there is no way that we can lose. If we continue to be divided, there is no way that we can win!

Let me give you a few examples of how we simply don't comprehend the
life and death seriousness of this situation.

President Bush selects Norman Mineta as Secretary of Transportation. Although all of the terrorist attacks were committed by Muslim men between 17 and 40 years of age, Secretary Mineta refuses to allow profiling. Does that sound like we are taking this thing seriously? This is war! For the duration, we are going to have to give up some of the civil rights we have become accustomed to. We had better be prepared to lose some of our civil rights temporarily or we will most certainly lose all of them permanently.

And don't worry that it is a slippery slope. We gave up plenty of civil rights during WWII, and immediately restored them after the victory and in fact added many more since then.

Do I blame President Bush or President Clinton before him?

No, I blame us for blithely assuming we can maintain all of our Political Correctness, and all of our civil rights during this conflict and have a clean, lawful, honorable war. None of those words apply to war. Get them out of your head.

Some have gone so far in their criticism of the war and/or the Administration that it almost seems they would literally like to see us lose. I hasten to add that this isn't because they are disloyal. It is because they just don't recognize what losing means. Nevertheless, that conduct gives the impression to the enemy that we are divided and weakening. It concerns our friends, and it does great damage to our cause.

Of more recent vintage, the uproar fueled by the politicians and media regarding the treatment of some prisoners of war, perhaps exemplifies best what I am saying. We have recently had an issue, involving the treatment of a few Muslim prisoners of war, by a small group of our military police.
These are the type prisoners who just a few months ago were throwing their own people off buildings, cutting off their hands, cutting out their tongues and otherwise murdering their own people just for disagreeing with Saddam Hussein.

And just a few years ago these same type prisoners chemically killed 400,000 of their own people for the same reason. They are also the same type enemy fighters, who recently were burning Americans, and dragging their charred corpses through the streets of Iraq.

And still more recently, the same type enemy that was and is providing videos to all news sources internationally, of the beheading of American prisoners they held.

Compare this with some of our press and politicians, who for several days have thought and talked about nothing else but the "humiliating" of some Muslim prisoners -- not burning them, not dragging their charred corpses through the streets, not beheading them, but "humiliating" them.

Can this be for real?

The politicians and pundits have even talked of impeachment of the Secretary of Defense. If this doesn't show the complete lack of comprehension and understanding of the seriousness of the enemy we are fighting, the life and death struggle we are in and the disastrous results of losing this war, nothing can.

To bring our country to a virtual political standstill over this prisoner issue makes us look like Nero playing his fiddle as Rome burned -- totally oblivious to what is going on in the real world. Neither we, nor any other country, can survive this internal strife. Again I say, this does not mean that some of our politicians or media people are disloyal. It simply means that they are absolutely oblivious to the magnitude, of the situation we are in and into which the Muslim terrorists have been pushing us, for many years.

Remember, the Muslim terrorists stated goal is to kill all infidels!
That translates into ALL non-Muslims -- not just in the United States, but throughout the world.

We are the last bastion of defense.

We have been criticized for many years as being 'arrogant.' That charge is valid in at least one respect. We are arrogant in that we believe that we are so good, powerful and smart, that we can win the hearts and minds of all those who attack us, and that with both hands tied behind our back, we can defeat anything bad in the world!

We can't!

If we don't recognize this, our nation as we know it will not survive, and no other free country in the world will survive if we are defeated.

And finally, name any Muslim countries throughout the world that allow freedom of speech, freedom of thought, freedom of religion, freedom of the press, equal rights for anyone -- let alone everyone, equal status or any status for women, or that have been productive in one single way that contributes to the good of the world.

This has been a long way of saying that we must be united on this war or we will be equated in the history books to the self-inflicted fall of the Roman Empire. If, that is, the Muslim leaders will allow history books to be written or read.

If we don't win this war right now, keep a close eye on how the Muslims take over France in the next 5 years or less. They will continue to increase the Muslim population of France and continue to encroach little by little, on the established French traditions. The French will be fighting among themselves, over what should or should not be done, which will continue to weaken them and keep them from any united resolve. Doesn't that sound eerily familiar?

Democracies don't have their freedoms taken away from them by some external military force. Instead, they give their freedoms away, politically correct piece by politically correct piece.

And they are giving those freedoms away to those who have shown, worldwide, that they abhor freedom and will not apply it to you or even to themselves, once they are in power.

They have universally shown that when they have taken over, they then start brutally killing each other over who will be the few who control the masses. Will we ever stop hearing from the politically correct, about the "peaceful Muslims"?

I close on a hopeful note, by repeating what I said above. If we are united, there is no way that we can lose. I hope now after the election, the factions in our country will begin to focus on the critical situation we are in, and will unite to save our country. It is your future we are talking about! Do whatever you can to preserve it.

After reading the above, we all must do this not only for ourselves, but ourchildren, our grandchildren, our country and the world.

Whether Democrat or Republican, conservative or liberal and that includes the Politicians and media of our country and the free world!


Spanish May Become a Second Language in Florida Schools

TAMPA, FL -- The youngest students in Southwest Florida's public schools could soon be saying "hola" to a new language. A Proposal in Tallahassee to make Spanish class mandatory is causing a big stir in schools throughout Southwest Florida.
Hey. I gots me a idea. How 'bout people who come to America learn to speak English instead?

Wait a minute. Where's the ACLU? Those kids are being slighted there. Shouldn't they be learning to speak every language wih no preference on any one language?
I guess they're too busy bitching about Christmas and hanukkah to get all stirred up about us learning how to communicate with a van load of illegals.

A Funny

Here's an oldie but goodie:

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

After six months or so, of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man standing there.

"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night... Thought you might like to come. About 5:00."

"Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you......be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."

"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there, Thanks again."

"More'n likely be some wild sex, too,"

"Now that's really not a problem" says Tom, warming to the idea "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

Don't much matter ..... Just gonna be the two of us."

Well Shit.

Since I was gone all last week, I missed my blog anniversary date. Or as some of the veteran bloggers call it - 'Blogiversary'. November 10th, makes it a whole year of the existence of this here blog. For what it's worth.

And no one pointed it out to me either. No presents, no flowers, nothing. I feel so neglected.

Like they used to say, "Yeah - that and a nickel will get you a cup of coffee."

Well, I'll keep plugging along I guess.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Be travel by plethora"
Plethora of shit. Yup.

Friday, November 11, 2005

I Love It

I've been sofa king busy today, I haven't had any time to post. Hence, I haven't been able to trickle any inspiration into the keyboard either.
But I did get in a couple blog perusals between getting work done and internet outages. Now all I have to do is cut/paste this gem from Mark:

Veteran's Day Post
Remember this is Veteran's Day not Politician's Day. If you don't like the politicians who decide what battles America will fight, scorn the politicians. If you don't like the soldiers who fight those battles for you, go fuck yourself.
I agree wholeheartedly. Now, let's just add this little tid-bit:
"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."
Samuel Adams, speech at the Philadelphia State House, August 1, 1776.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Spam Subject of the Day

"Also agrimony but belshazzar"

My sentiments exactly.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Turkey Day Is Nigh Upon Us

So, go here and get a chuckle.

Back Again!

Yes, obviously, I'm back.
So what did I miss while I was away?

Anyway, I attended some training for the company.
Now I have some catching up to do.

Spam Subject of the Day

"neuropsychiatric kivu qhdfrh"
Well, you're off to a good start.

Friday, November 04, 2005

So Sorry

I'll be out of touch for a few days. Maybe even a week. Try to get along without me. (All 10 of you).
Just don't do anything drastic while I'm gone. I'll be back.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Ya Don't Suppose...

...Them silly, whiney-assed, chicken-shit, surrender-monkeys frenchies are gonna want the good ole' U.S. of A. to hep 'em out any, do ya?

Well, my thoughts are..., uh..., :

Another Golf Funny

A foursome is waiting on the men's tee while another foursome of ladies is hitting from the ladies' tee.

The ladies are taking their time, when finally the last lady is ready to hit the ball. She hacks it 10 feet; goes over and hacks it another 10 feet, then hacks it another 10 feet.

She looks up at the men who are watching and says apologetically, "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help."

One of the men immediately replied, "Well, you know, that's your problem. You should have taken golf lessons instead."

Circle Jerk

Good gawd. Why does this remind me of some of the blogrolls I've seen?

Gotta Love The L.V. Mayor

Here's the story. The city spent millions of dollars on some desert tortoise statues - roughly 6 feet high and ten feet in diameter, indian themed decor, plants, rocks...all sorts of shit to pretty up the freeways.

Now, of course, some morons come along and tag them. Like that wasn't going to happen.
So now the mayor wants to teach the taggers a lesson.

Oscar does it again!

The happiest mayor calls for cutting off the thumbs of graffiti artists on television and caning and whipping children

Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman suggested Wednesday that those who deface freeways with graffiti should have their thumbs cut off on television.

Goodman, appearing on the television program "Nevada Newsmakers" in Reno, said: "In the old days in France, they had beheading of people who commit heinous crimes.

"You know, we have a beautiful highway landscaping redevelopment in our downtown. We have desert tortoises and beautiful paintings of flora and fauna. These punks come along and deface it.

"I'm saying maybe you put them on TV and cut off a thumb," the mayor added. "That may be the right thing to do."

Goodman also suggested that whippings or canings should be brought back for children who get into trouble.

"I also believe in a little bit of corporal punishment going back to the days of yore, where examples have to be shown," Goodman said.

"I'm dead serious," said Goodman, a guest on the panel show.

Parents are supposed to take care of their children, but government replaces them on some occasions, Goodman said.

"Some of these (children) don't learn," he said. "You have got to teach them a lesson, and this is coming from a criminal defense lawyer."

Goodman then added: "They would get a trial first."

Another panelist on the show, Howard Rosenberg, a member of the university Board of Regents, responded by saying that Goodman should "use his head for something other than a hat rack."

Cutting off the thumbs of taggers will not solve the problem, Rosenberg said.
Old school justice. Maybe not such a bad idea. We're too lenient on crooks nowdays anyway.

Just so you know, as the story mentioned, Oscar Goodman was a criminla defense lawyer. His biggest clients were members of the mob - the likes of Meyer Lansky, Nick Civella, Anthony 'Tony' Spilotro, Frank Rosenthal, Jimmy Chagra, Natale Richichi, Phil Leonetti and Vinny Ferrara. (A little more background here).

Back in the day, you get caught cheating at a casino and they didn't just escort you out and take your winnings. They usually didn't call the cops either.
What they would do is take you in the back room and cut off your thumb or thumbs. Break your knuckles with nut-crackers or pliers, break your knees with a bat or tire iron, kick the fuck out of you, or just take you up and throw you off the roof.
The lesson was usually learned real fast.

He's always saying non-pc shit. I love it.

Spam Subject of the Day

"benjamin black pomp meretricious walsh"
Sorry, don't know the feller.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Template Funkiness

So I see this blog looks quite funky whilst using Internet Exploder. Since I use Firefox, I have never see this behavior, but the sidebar is clear the fuck after all the posts. Looks stupid. Looks fine with Firefox though.
Does anyone with other browsers notice this?

Hmm. I'm working on it.

Directions For Preparing MicroSoft TV Dinner

1. You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to the TV dinner, and it must be surrendered upon their request.

2. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is.

3. If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these keystrokes: mstv.dinn.//08.5min@50%heat// Then press "Enter".

4. If you have a Mac oven, insert the dinner and press start. The oven will set itself and cook the dinner. Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, in which case your oven must be restarted.

5. If restart doesn't work, remove the dinner from the oven, unplug the microwave, then plug it back in. If oven doesn't start, contact your hardware vendor.

6. Many users have reported that the dinner tray is far too big, larger than the dinner itself, having many useless compartments, most of which are empty. These are for future menu items. If the tray is too large to fit in your oven you will need an oven upgrade.

7. If you want another variety, call Microsoft Help and they will explain that you really don't want another variety. Microsoft Chicken is all you really need.

8. Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all smaller versions of their chicken dinners. Future releases will only be in the larger family size.

9. Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner, however, that version has yet to be released. Users have permission to get thrilled in advance.

10. Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other dinners in the freezer, causing your freezer to self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug. Your freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway.

Timing Is Everything

Amazing how the popularity of the bird flu got so big right around thanksgiving, eh?

Everyone grab a paper bag now, sit down, take it easy, there you go...

The Little Red Hen

This came to me via e:mail:

Once upon a time, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat.

She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"
"Not I," said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself,"said the little red hen.
And so she did.

The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.
"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.
And so she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread.
"Who will help me bake the bread! ?" asked the little red hen.
"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, "No, I shall eat all five loaves myself."
"Excess profits!" cried the cow.
"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.
The pig just grunted in disdain.

And they all painted "Unfair!" picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

Then a government agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."
"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
"Exactly," said the agent. "That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle,"

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand."

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the "party" and got her bread free.

And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.
Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared.....as long as there was free bread that "the rich" were paying for.

This is where I am torn.
We're getting gouged repeatedly at the gas pump. Big oil makes up all sorts of reasons/excuses for the high prices, like shortages, decreased production, etc. But at the same time, they're making the biggest profits they've made in years.
Since this is America, they have the right to charge whatever they want to charge. It's up to us as consumers to determine their profit margin, and we do that by either buying or boycotting their gas.

Now, some people are saying these same oil companies should be donating a share of their profits to lower income people so they can buy heating oil. This reeks of communism.
My opinion, is take a look behind the scenes. Investigate these companies and find out just which ones are creating false shortages or excessively gouging. Then, fine the shit out of them.
Maybe distribute the fine money to legitimately needy people.

I dunno, but with the high dollars I paid a couple months ago for gas compared to how much the prices has dropped, I do think I was cheated.

Side note:
Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.
Hillary got $8 million for hers.
That's $20 million for memories from two people who for eight years, repeatedly testified under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.
I love it.

This Day in History

From historychannel.com:
1957 The Soviet space dog

The Soviet Union launches the first animal into space--a dog name Laika--aboard the Sputnik 2 spacecraft.

Laika, part Siberian husky, lived as a stray on the Moscow streets before being enlisted into the Soviet space program. Laika survived for several days as a passenger in the USSR's second artificial Earth satellite, kept alive by a sophisticated life-support system. Electrodes attached to her body provided scientists on the ground with important information about the biological effects of space travel. She died after the batteries of her life-support system ran down.
Can you imagine the hemorrhoid PETA would have popped nowdays?
1928 Mickey Mouse debuts

Cartoon star Mickey Mouse appears in Steamboat Willie, an animated short produced by Walt Disney. Steamboat Willie was the first fully synchronized sound cartoon ever produced, with Mickey's squeaky voice provided by Walt Disney himself.
Ah, old school cartoons are the best. In fact, I have Looney Toons DVD's. Now they keep getting stupider.

Maybe I grew up? Nah.

Spam Subject of the Day

Same to you!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Another Helpful Post

Always here to help, I give you a reference chart so that in the future we may correctly identify sizes and shapes of certain parts of the female anatomy. Hopefully, this will divert any crude mis-quotes or slanderous remarks.

By the way, this chart mostly applies to women. So, my friends - if you are male and see a category you fit into, I don't really want to know.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

So Then, I'll Go Ahead And Post My Opinion Of Bush's Latest Supreme Court Nominee


The Headline

From the AP:
Denver Voters OK Marijuana Possession

The caption:
DENVER - Residents of the Mile High City have voted to legalize the possession of small amounts of marijuana for adults.

The catch:
Authorities, though, said state possession laws will be applied instead.

[My emphasis]
What is unsaid here, is that if state laws don't apply, they then have federal to fall back on. If the law don't want you to have it, they'll find a statute to bust you on.
What a waste of time, effort, and hot air.

I don't have anything to do with weed, so I really don't care. I just thought it was worth noting.

This Day in History

From historychannel.com:

The Hughes Flying Boat--the largest aircraft ever built--is piloted by designer Howard Hughes on its first and only flight. Built with laminated birch and spruce, the massive wooden aircraft had a wingspan longer than a football field and was designed to carry more than 700 men to battle.
Like that thing would ever reach a decent altitude. What a nut he turned out to be.
But he (his corporating) is still making bazillions of dollars from all the land he bought in Las Vegas.
1948 Dewey defeats Truman ... not.

In the greatest upset in presidential election history, Democratic incumbent Harry S. Truman defeats his Republican challenger, Governor Thomas E. Dewey of New York, by just over two million popular votes. In the days preceding the vote, political analysts and polls were so behind Dewey that on election night, long before all the votes were counted, the Chicago Tribune published an early edition with the banner headline "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN."
One of the most famous debacles of all time.

Spam Subject of the Day

"alphanumeric armageddon"
Sounds ominous.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Sheehan For President!

I almost made myself sick writing that line.
Or maybe it was just the tacos.

Anyway, her latest regurgitation, from the Village Voice:
'If you're not with us, you're against us,' " Sheehan said, "and if you're against us, we'll vote you out of office. "
She's a-callin' out that warmonger Hillary there.
Nice. Now she's trying to piss off the democrats too. Casey's mom has got it going on.

Another tidbit:
Last month, DeBar, himself a former Green Party candidate, proposed a Draft Sheehan effort on a Green message board. Unlike some Greens who are pushing a Sheehan for President initiative, DeBar wants to see her move from her home state of California to run against Clinton in the New York primary next year. That way, he writes in his post, "she could force a seismic shift in the direction of the Democratic Party."
Funny how Cindy makes Hillary look less stupid though.

Too Much Time On Their Hands

Create your own advertizing slogans.......here:

"The Curmudgeon Effect"

"Snap! Crackle! Curmudgeon"

"Exceedingly Good Curmudgeon"

"Curmudgeon Really Satisfies"

Good gawd-a-mighty.


They gave me an extra taco.

Well of course [Urp] I ate it! [Urp] I'm only human! [Urp]

A Funny

This made me chuckle:

Spam Subject of the Day

"Be eat as jackass sun"
Don't be so hard on them liberals now.