"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006


Man Gets Probation in Fatal Driving Lesson:
AP - Mon Feb 27, 9:02 PM ET

PHILADELPHIA - A father whose driving lesson with his underage daughter ended in a woman's death was sentenced Monday to three years' probation.
I thought it was only old farts on the way to Farmer's Markets who did this shit.

A Funny

Ten reasons why some men prefer guns over women.
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9. You can keep 1 gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

#4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3. A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the #1 reason a gun is favored over a woman...

Spam Subject of the Day

"metallurgic dupe"
Hmm. Not familiar.

Monday, February 27, 2006


Finally, figure skating worth watching.

This Was Very Interesting

ColorQuiz.comCurmudgeon took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Longs for a tender and sympathetic bond and for a ..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Very interesting indeed. A lot of it was dead on.
I will take issue with the 'tender and sympathetic bond' part.

Oh, And Did I Mention My Adventure Friday?

I have an issue with my left eye. I know, so what?
Well, I'm telling you anyway. 'Cause I don't have anything exciting to blog about.

[Weirdity alert]

We all have two tear ducts near the corners of our eyes which converge and drain into the sinus cavity. Hence, the runny nose when the eyes tear up.

For quite a few months, my eye has been teary. It's always moist to where I have to wipe it constantly, and on occasion, it even gets infected. Very annoying. So I finally went to the doctor friday to get it checked out. Oh yeah. That was interesting.

First of all, the numbing drops. Everyone I'm sure, has had the pleasure of novacaine. Fine in the jaw to get teeth worked on, but think about your eyelids and eyeball being numb. Weird sensation.
The doctor did this in preparation for sending some water down my tear duct. Out comes a syringe with a long, straight, skinny, pointy thing on the end. No, it wasn't a needle, according to the doctor, but it sure looked like one. I was't all that excited about having my tear duct roto-rooted, but I figgered I would just have to go along for the ride.

Now if you've ever looked closely in the mirror at your tear duct, it doen't add up to much. A tiny slit you can barely even see. The doctor didn't have any trouble seeing it. He pokes this long, skinny thing attached to the syringe in in there, starts threading it around like he's crocheting a doily, and tells me to let him know if I feel water on the back of my throat. Now comes the water. All of a sudden I felt this cool sensation under my eyelid, a swelling effect, and water coming out the tear duct in my upper eyelid. None down my throat.

So I have a clog in the canal between the tear duct and the sinus cavity. I get to go see another specialist type doctor. I wonder what sort of tools he has in his toolbox?


Not much to blog about today, I guess.

It seems they've caught yet another al Queda 'senior aide'. There seems to be an endless supply of those fuckers.

Some more people blew themselves up in Iraq, killing some more inoocent bystanders.

Sadaam still needs to die and get that fucking circus over with.

And the Winter Olympics are finally over.
There were a lot of sports going on over there, but it seems the only ones worthy of any significant air time was figure skating.
Mens, womens, mens and womens, womens and mens, short program, long program, ...
I tried to watch some of the olympics, but it seemed like every time I turned it on, it was either figure skating or announcers talking about events rather than showing them.
But what really pissed me off about these "Best of the best" athletes, was that they were the biggest group of pompous, arrogant, fucks I've ever seen interviewed. Any corporation giving these assholes any future sponsorships needs to have their head examined.
Not all of them, but enough to make me puke.

Fuck the Olympics. I'll not be modifying my busy schedule [hah] to even switch channels next time.

Spam Subject of the Day

"gail deify"

Friday, February 24, 2006

Too Much Fun

This is fun:

Go here and give it a try.

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A Little Late?

This kid may be too far along for a partial birth abortion:

Spam Subject of the Day

"Open micronesia in gob"
Sounds like a plan.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

A Funny

Three Rednecks were working on repairs of the telephone tower - Steve, Bruce and Ed.

Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Ed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.

Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Ed?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me," Ed replies.

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"

Well, not exactly", Ed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'."

She said, "No, I'm not a widow."

And I said, "I'll bet you a case of beer you are".

Age Gauge

This is sorta neat.
Put in your birthday and it compares your age to others, and events which happened after you were born.

This Just In

Press Release

The Texas Parks and Wildlife Department issued a statement today saying Vice President Cheney broke no law by shooting a lawyer instead of a quail.

A TPWD spokesman noted that, in Texas, lawyers are not considered game creatures, and are thus not subject to seasonal limitations or bag limits. It was further noted that lawyer hunting was encouraged as the state is overrun with the pesky creatures.

A local food critic said that, contrary to rumor, lawyers do not taste like chicken, but rather like bovine dung which is a major component of their composition

Spam Subject of the Day

"That hear an breakfast variable"
Nope. Didn't hear it.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


From USA Today:

Bush digs in on deal for ports

President Bush threatened Tuesday to veto any attempt to block a deal allowing an Arab company to take over operations at six major U.S. seaports, despite overwhelming opposition to the plan from congressional leaders, governors and mayors.
Well, at least he didn't just give it to Halliburton.

But, is this crazy or what?
I dunno. I can't help but feel a little skeptical. I think it's like putting the pythons in the cage to guard the gerbils.

"They have played by the rules..."
Fuck that. They have warmed up to Bush - built up a trust, so he would put them in this sort of access point.

I don't like it.

Someone, prove me wrong?

Update: Well, if Hillary is so dead set against it, it can't be bad.

Update 2: Okay, velociman convinced me. He is/was in the bidness.

Blonde. James Blonde

Angry Bond Fans Threaten to Boycott Film - AP

A group of James Bond fans have launched a Web site http://www.craignotbond.com, to protest British actor Daniel Craig replacing Pierce Brosnan in the 007 film franchise, and boycott the upcoming Bond movie "Casino Royale."
I can't blame them either. Sorry, this ain't no James Bond:

These are:

Sean Connery is a little old for the part, but I think they could have figgered out a better choice than Craig. He just doesn't fit in.

Oh well. I guess he was cheap.

Update: Peggasus squawked at me for even suggesting Roger Moore was a good James Bond, and also suggested guys should stick to rating the 'Bond Girls' and leave the determination of who would make a good Bond up to the girls.

So okay then, fine. Here's my pick:

Barbara Bach as Anya Amasova (aka "XXX")in "The Spy Who Love Me"

See also: Caveman

Curmudgeon Aloona Lana

Score One For Paparazzi

Diana crash paparazzi to pay one euro in damages:

2 hours, 15 minutes ago

PARIS (Reuters) - A French court has ordered three photographers to pay one euro in damages for breaching privacy laws when taking pictures of Princess Diana on the night of her fatal crash, according to a ruling made available on Wednesday.

The single euro divided between the trio will be paid to Mohamed al Fayed, the Egyptian-born millionaire and father of Dodi al Fayed, Diana's companion who also died in the crash.
Interesting. And the money goes to a multi-bazillionaire.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Prescription inexpenasive Killers, free shipping"
Oh Doctor Kevorkian - You there? You could use these...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

News Flash

Bush Fails To Prevent East Coast Blizzard

Minorities Hit Hardest
by Brian Williams

MNBC 02/12/06

As President Bush and his staff cowered in the White House, the snow continued to pile up on the many poor and African American victims who could not afford to get out of town or to safety in Florida.

Crucial supplies of blankets, hot cocoa, popcorn and dark rum, so essential to surviving the stress of any major snowstorm, lay in stores undelivered.

"Where is the government? I need my sidewalk shoveled so I can get out to buy my danged lottery tickets!" said one D.C. resident from his living room.

"Why are we wasting money in Iraq when we could be spending it here on me?"

Progressive blogs blasted the President for his inaction. "We find the timing terribly suspicious, just as the Domestic Spying hearings kick into high gear, what happens? A major northeast Blizzard. Why now?"wrote one blogger.

Hearings into the Blizzards' effect on hearings are almost a certainty.

Howard Dean has suggested he will call for an investigation once his new medications kick in and John Kerry took a break from the sporting activities of the glamorous super-rich in some exotic locale (random choice: Ice Sailing in Finland) to call for new legislation outlawing

"The Republican Congress has dropped the ball once again. I have always been a staunch supporter of anti-snow legislation, except for certain locations where I ski. Snow has no business on our roads and the President and Congress knows that."

Calls for impeachment over "SnowGate" as some are calling it already are mounting as deeply as the snow itself, and what will be discovered underneath will prove to have a truly chilling effect on the Republicans, as the inevitable thaw proceeds. Or something like that.

More breaking news......

Al Sharpton, Bryant Gumble and Jesse Jackson want an investigation into why snow is ALWAYS white.

Cheney has stock in Tru-Value Hardware. Do you have any idea how many SNOW SHOVELS they sold today to the unsuspecting consumer?

I demand to know why FEMA has been so late in reacting to this storm. THEY KNEW IT WAS COMING! And yet they failed to have crews in place to fix the electricity as soon as it went off. It just shows that Bush and the republicans just don't care about the people in the N.E. The Senate needs to investigate this with administration people under oath.

I'll bet that the great junior senator from N.Y. has opened the doors of her home to all of the heatless poor of her neighborhood and is busy baking cookies for them while her husband applies body heat to the nearly frozen teen-aged girls.

A Funny

Via email:
Three guys, a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer are working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."


With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said,

"I want a wall around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state."


Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries..

The American engineer asks, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall".

The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out, it's virtually impenetrable."

The American engineer says, "Fill it with water."

Spam Subject of the Day

"ccan can bmadder"
kkay. Tthat mmakes ssense.

Friday, February 17, 2006


Okay, this has got to be one of the most morbid cartoons I've seen in quite some time.
I think maybe I'll go riot or something:

Image hosting by Photobucket


How those white supremist nut-jobs up in Coeur d'Alene Idaho have been slid to the back burner of late:
WorldNetDaily: Probe finds terrorists in U.S. 'training for war'

As If It Wasn't Already Stupid Enough

Bounty offered on cartoonists as protests rage:

By Simon Cameron-Moore 1 hour, 24 minutes ago

ISLAMABAD (Reuters) - A Pakistani Muslim cleric and his followers offered rewards amounting to over $1 million for anyone who killed Danish cartoonists who drew caricatures of the Prophet Mohammad that have enraged Muslims worldwide.
Gawddamn towel-headed, camel fucking, delusional, self-righteous, fig eating morons.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I'm just a redneck name-caller.
Well, if the shoe fits...

But, the thing that comes to mind every time I read about this shit, are the so-called "Rodney King Riots".
It was a chance to jump on a bandwagon, cause trouble and damage all in the name of a perceived injustice. These people obviously don't realize how barbaric it makes them look.

Bonus Spam

And you get the whole thing! Too funny:


way, trying to play it down. The tension grew as HBO clamored for his of the meals here will help you avoid a fight and find a magic fountain!

electronic mail, and other information to be transferred from meaning of the text and the person they are communicating with.We parked somewhere next to the campus, but it had been a while since"
Since what dammit?!?! You could have at least finished the story!

Spam Subject of the Day

"Which begin my countless mossy"
Yes, way back in the day.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Quote Of The Day

I got a chuckle out of this:
"If I wanted your opinion, I'd take my dick out of your mouth."
It is to laugh.

Cheney's Cryin'

Another musical post! How cool!

Spin "Jamie's Cryin" by Van Halen, and sing along with me:
♪ He saw that bird in the sky ♪
♪♫ He thought he'd blast it ♪
♪ Now Harry's gonna die ♫
♫ Will Cheney get on past it? ♫♪♪

♫♪ He says he feels ... so ... bad, ♪

♪ Ooohh-wooaaa-wooaaa Cheney's cryin' ♪
♫ Ooohh-wooaaa-wooaaa Cheney's cryin' ♫♫♪
Okay. That's enough. Sorry Diamond Dave.

This Day in History

From HistoryChannel.com:
1979 Saturday Night Fever wins Grammy

The Bee Gees receive the Grammy for Best Album of 1978 for Saturday Night Fever and also win the Best Pop Group award. The group, featuring brothers Barry, Robin, and Maurice Gibb, had dominated the charts in late 1977 and 1978 with three consecutive No. 1 hits from the Saturday Night Fever album.
Okay guys, grab your balls, squeeze hard, and sing along...

"♫♪♪ Well you can tell by the way I use my walk ♪♫♪
♫♪ I'm a ladies man. No time to talk. ♪♪♫"

Spam Subject of the Day

"some slurp in necktie"
Uhh, sorry. I'm not into that brokeback shit.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I Hate Country Music

I always thought he was a useless piece of dog shit, now I know:
Willie Nelson Releases Gay Cowboy Song

'Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly (Fond of Each Other)' may be the first gay cowboy song by a major recording artist.
Yeah Willie, come on out of the closet. We know your mind.

Oh, The Pain! From A Needle?

Judge: Calif. Must Change Execution Drugs

SAN FRANCISCO - A federal judge ruled Tuesday that California must change its lethal injection method for an execution next week, saying the current mix of drugs may constitute cruel and unusual punishment.

U.S. District Judge Jeremy Fogel said he was concerned inmates are conscious and undergoing extreme pain during execution.

Morales is scheduled to be executed Feb. 21 for the rape and murder of a 17-year-old girl in San Joaquin County 25 years ago.
"...undergoing extreme pain during execution." I fucking hope so.
Did the dead girl get any humane treatment?

Too bad the girl's family can't beat the bastard to death instead.

Yet Again

What is it with Democrats for Chrissakes?

Cheney shoots a guy, and the big story is what? That everyone wasn't personally informed the day - minute - second it happened. That's their complaint? How the news wasn't released right fucking now?

Are they serious? Would they do things any differently were the shoe on the other foot?

Fuck no.

We won't discuss how he didn't have a proper license. How anyone else in the country would have gotten their gun, bag, vehicle, ... confiscated, then fined and/or sent to jail.

Fuck no.

We won't talk about how if the the guy ends up dying, charges could be filed, and since he's a bigshot he may get off scot-free.

Fuck no.

Let's make the story on how the government hid the news. In fact, let's accuse the administration of always hiding information from us.

[spit, stomp]

Hey Cheney, when you inviting Hillary hunting?

Spam Subject of the Day

"Her alumni it's bulgaria"
And I give a shit, why?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

This Day in History

Let's take a moment and ponder what this Valentine's Day is really about.

From HistoryChannel.com:
1929 The St. Valentine's Day Massacre

Three men dressed as police officers enter gangster Bugs Moran's headquarters on North Clark Street in Chicago, line seven of Moran's henchmen against a wall, and shoot them to death. The St. Valentine's Day Massacre, as it is now called, was the culmination of a gang war between arch rivals Al Capone and Bugs Moran.

How did we get from a mob hit to sending roses to our honeys?

Spam Subject of the Day

"Fucking St.Valentine"
YES!!! Finally a useful spam!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Sorry To Keep Ranting, But...

I've had a few things to say about the homo movie.

But this picture from my old hometown newspaper was what I was trying to point out with a post I made back in December.

Image hosting by Photobucket

Oh, Duke. How could they do this.
I wonder what Louis L'Amour would say?

(Click on the image to see a bigger version.)

An Early V.D. - II

An Early V.D.

Hunter Shot by Moron Is 'Very Stable'

Hunter Shot by Cheney Is 'Very Stable':

By LYNN BREZOSKY, Associated Press Writer 36 minutes ago

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas - A 78-year-old hunting companion of Vice President
Dick Cheney was recovering in stable condition Monday after Cheney accidentally shot him during a weekend quail hunting trip, a hospital official said.
What could I possibly add, other than obviously, some people shouldn't touch a gun.
But it sounds like both of them need to take a hunter's safety course.

Update: I saww this picture somewhere...

Update 2: From the comments over at Rodger's blog:
"What are the odds of getting Hillary to go quail hunting with Dick Cheney? "


For Jean

Okay, I went and took the damn test:

I am nerdier than 71% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

29% scored higher (more nerdy), and
71% scored lower (less nerdy).

What does this mean? Your nerdiness is:

Mid-Level Nerd. Wow, it takes a lot of hard nerdy practice to reach this level.

Oh well. At least I don't wear a pocket protector.

Spam Subject of the Day

"it censorious try greengrocer"
It's settled then.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Who's Yer Candidate?

Image hosting by Photobucket
"HILLARY! . . . HILLARY! . . . HILLARY! . . . HILLARY! . . . "

XM Gone To Shit?

Oprah Signs a 3-Year Deal With XM Satellite:

(1010 WINS) (NEW YORK) Oprah Winfrey has signed a three-year, $55 million deal with XM Satellite Radio Holdings Inc. to launch a new radio channel beginning in September, Winfrey and XM announced Thursday.
That may be enough to make me switch to Sirius.

Steaming Pile Of Shit

A long time has passed since I posted a Steaming Pile Of Shit award. I guess I'm a slacker.
But now for your pleasure, here's the latest one.

Mohammed gets this award just for being himself. If he taught his people to be this way, he deserves it.
Hopefully I will have offended the last percentage of ragheaded, camel fucking Muslim morons who haven't already been bent out of shape by the other cartoons.

So with that,

Image hosting by Photobucket

You and all your followers of the 'Religion of Peace' are a collective
Steaming Pile of Shit.

Update: You may want to stand back a little. That turban assplodes, you may get a mouthful.

A Work Of Art

Ann Coulter on cartoons and the Muslim way:

In order to express their displeasure with the idea that Muslims are violent, thousands of Muslims around the world engaged in rioting, arson, mob savagery, flag-burning, murder and mayhem, among other peaceful acts of nonviolence.

Muslims are the only people who make feminists seem laid-back.
Do yourself a favor and read the whole thing. It is just, just, I wept.

Well, not really, but it really is worth reading.

Now This Is Funny

Philly Bus Driver Tosses Woman Off Bus AP :

Thu Feb 9, 8:10 PM ET

PHILADELPHIA - A transit bus driver grabbed a woman by the hair, knocked her head into a pole, opened the door and tossed her into traffic after she yelled at him for missing her stop, police said.
That'll teach her to fuck with the bus driver.
The best part, is the first thing that came to my mind was the image of Ralph Cramden doing that to some passenger.

You know, Ralph - from the Honeymooners?

Spam Subject of the Day

"but hearst or companionway"

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Uh...You're Just Releasing This?

Bush: al Qaeda planned plane attack on Los Angeles:

16 minutes ago

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The United States and its allies thwarted an al Qaeda plot after the September 11 attacks to use bombs hidden in shoes to breach the cockpit door of an airplane and fly it into the Liberty Tower in Los Angeles, President George W. Bush said on Thursday.

'The plot was derailed in early 2002 when a southeast Asian nation arrested a key al Qaeda operative,' Bush said in a speech.
So is this some sort of timed release thing?
I can't imagine this is the only potential attack that has been thwarted. Maybe the administration needs to speak up a little more. Let America know there is actually some good being done.
If there is.

This Day in History

From HistoryChannel.com:
1950 McCarthy says communists are in State Department

During a speech in Wheeling, West Virginia, Senator Joseph McCarthy (Republican-Wisconsin) claims that he has a list with the names of over 200 members of the Department of State that are 'known communists.' The speech vaulted McCarthy to national prominence and sparked a nationwide hysteria about subversives in the American government.
Help! The paranoids are after me!

Spam Subject of the Day

"Of do do corpuscle attach"
Sounds like a sci-fi movie.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

A Funny

Here's another classic.

(With proper spelling)
♪ Dough, the stuff that buys me beer ♪
♫ Ray, the guy who sells me beer ♪
♫ Me, the guy who drinks the beer ♫♪
♪ Far, too long, it's time for beer ♪
♪ So, I’ll have another beer ♫
♫ La, let's have another beer ♫
♫ Tea, no thanks, I’m having beer ♪
♪ And that brings us back to dough-o-o-o ♫♫

Pokeback Mountain - Again

From CNN.com:
Did you hear the one about 'Brokeback'?
Feb 7, 2006

But Matt Foreman, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, says he's sick of it: 'It may be funny, but there is a real element of homophobia. It's making jabs about sex between gay men.'
Thee Matt? That'th where you're jutht tho wrong.
Typical "You don't underthtand it, tho you're afraid of it" bullthit. Or, they athume that thinthe we don't like it, it'th becauthe it potheth a threat to our mathculinity. Again, bullthit.

Oh shit! Was I lisping? Damn!

Chickenshit asshole. Wake up and smell the Aqua Velva. Yours isn't the only theory out there.

I don't think homosexuality is right. At all. But I'm not homophobic. I ain't afraid gays, I ain't afraid of all of a sudden turning queer just from being around queers, or watching a movie about queers.

I think it sucks that the entertainment industry is so out of ideas they're going for shock value and remakes. The shit coming from the teevee and movie screen is getting worse all the time. But yet the prices keep going up. I used to like going to movies. But I'll avoid it every chance I get now.
The movies suck, the theatres are small, the snacks are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overpriced, the movies suck, the kids talk and run around acting obnoxious, and did I mention the movies suck?

What could possibly compel me to go to a G.D. movie?
Oh. That's right. "What time does it start, dear?"

Well, you and the girls enjoy yourselves.


Regarding my comments on this post, seems someone else has similar feelings:

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This Day in History

From historychannel.com:
1692 Teenage girls are declared to be under the spell of a witch:

Nineteen people were executed and more than 100 imprisoned in 1692 for allegedly practicing witchcraft before the teenage accusers finally lost their credibility.
Witches, communists, ... There's always someone trying to accuse someone of some misdeed because they can't come up with any real proof they've done something wrong.

Take loony far lefties for instance, ...

Home State Morons

So after all the slamming I've done on some people from California, it sounds like there are some real winners right here in Nevada. (Pronounced Na-va-duh - where the 'a' in 'va' is pronounced like the 'a' in bat, cat, hat,... not like 'ah' as in hot, bought, or caught.)

Evidently, during the miss U.S.A. competition, Miss Nevada was asked if she supported the Yucca Mountain project. When she replied she did, she was then asked what if people died because of it?
"We just have to take one for the team,"
Now I'll go along with her on her statement that it is the best built facility, and I guess I don't really mind the waste going to Yucca mountain. However, that was a real stupid thing for a Nevada representative to say. She has also gotten a bunch of nasty phone messages because of it. Serves her right.

But then, she left Nevada to further her education: "a lyrical dancer who attends Orange Coast College near Los Angeles,"
That could explain some things. :)

Spam Subject of the Day

"Paypal account suspension warning #66d4"
Uh, sure. I have already filled in your form several time. Not.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Comments Be Damned

I don't know what the hell is going on with comments, but I'll point the finger at Google fucking with Blogger, trying to pacify China, Bulgaria, Iran or whoeverthefuckisenvious - breath - ofourwesternpriveledges.

Anyway, some comments you kind folks posted are missing. Sorry. I didna doit.
Seems to be the ones from around the time of their last 'brief' downtime.

-Jean? You listening?-

Fair And Balanced

Mohammed ain't so special, so priveledged that he gets all the attention. He's not the only one deserving of a 'toon:

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Nice Send-Off

King eulogists jab Bush at funeral:

By Karen Jacobs and Tabassum Zakaria 48 minutes ago

LITHONIA, Georgia (Reuters) - Speakers took a rare opportunity to criticize U.S. President George W. Bush's policies to his face at the funeral on Tuesday of Coretta Scott King, widow of slain civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr.
Yeah, that's classy. Fuckwads.
There's a time and a place for that sort of shit. This wasn't one of them.

A Funny

A man who just died is delivered to the mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look good in the black suit he
is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?"

"There's no charge," he says.

"No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says.

"Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "it cost nothing."
"You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit.

I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice."

"So I just switched the heads."

Makes You Wonder

Reese's Theme Park Photog Found Dead

By Sarah Hall Mon Feb 6, 3:37 PM ET

A paparazzo who was charged with battery and child endangerment after pestering
Reese Witherspoon and her kids at a theme park last fall has apparently been found dead.

Friends of photographer Todd Wallace said his body was discovered in his Brentwood apartment, according to published reports. Police confirmed that a body was found, but were unable to identify it as Wallace's because of the state of the corpse.
Hey, maybe she's onto something there. If more stars start bumping off the obnoxious photographers, maybe they'll mellow out a little.

Not that I'm accusing anyone of anything....


Friends, Family Eulogize Feminist Friedan - Yahoo! News:

By KAREN MATTHEWS, Associated Press Writer Tue Feb 7, 1:27 AM ET

NEW YORK - Betty Friedan, who championed the once-radical assertion that women needed more than husbands and children to find fulfillment, was eulogized Monday as a feminist pioneer and loving mother [...]
What a nice broad. She really taught us menfolk where we stood.

You wimmin can thank her for getting where you are today. You have your own cigarettes, your own jobs, get to open your own doors...

Now go get me a beer. Is dinner ready?

More Mohammmed

So Mohammed ain't supposed to be imaged? Go take a look at the following site:
Depictions of Mohammed Throughout History

Right-click -> View image

Spam Subject of the Day

"It's Christmas!"
Damn! Again already?

Monday, February 06, 2006

With Love, Allah.

Via email:

Bah. It's just another excuse for the members of the "religion of peace" to cause more shit under the guise of protesting a G.D. cartoon.

Fucking towel haeds.

Super Bowl Ex El - Recap

Acidman nailed the game:
The officials were in good company. I should have known that the game was gonna have a very high SUCK quotient when I listened to the National Anthem, as performed by the Goodyear Blimp Aretha Franklin and Neville What'sHisName. They sucked. The only thing that could have made their singing worse was Aretha having a wardrobe malfunction and dropping a humongous titty to the turf.
I totally agree. That was one of the worst renditions of The Star Spangled Banner I have ever heard.
I also had to change channels from the pregame bullshit show with Stevie Warbler Wonder and his gang. That cluster fuck was worse than American Idol could ever dream of being.
And the game itself? Bad officiating, and what seemed to me to be nothing more than a preseason exhibition game.

R.I.P. - 'Grandpa' Munster

Actor, Politician Al Lewis Dies at 95

NEW YORK (AP) - Actor Al Lewis, the cigar-chomping patriarch of ``The Munsters'' whose work as a basketball scout, restaurateur and political candidate never eclipsed his role as Grandpa from the television sitcom, died after several years of failing health. He was 95.

Lewis, with his wife at his bedside, passed away Friday night, said Bernard White, program director at WBAI-FM, where the actor hosted a weekly radio program for years. White made the announcement on the air during the Saturday slot where Lewis usually appeared.

``To say that we will miss his generous, cantankerous, engaging spirit is a profound understatement,'' White said.

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From the AP:
Arizona Aims to Expand Trespassing Law

PHOENIX - Faced with mounting election-year public pressure to curtail illegal immigration, Arizona lawmakers are trying to expand state trespassing law to enable local authorities to arrest illegal border crossers.

One proposal would make it a felony for immigrants violating federal immigration law to be in Arizona. Immigrants arrested for trespassing could then be deported, prosecuted by local authorities, or handed over to federal immigration agents. Another proposal would make immigrant trespassing a top-tier misdemeanor, punishable by six months in jail and a $2,500 fine.
Throwing them in debtors prison won't do any good. A fine? They most likely came here because they were already dirt poor. They would have to work here before they could save up fine money. And we don't need to finance the 3 squares and a cot for six months for something like that. We have worse criminals more worthy of those acommodations.

I think they should just be shot on sight for espionage, but that won't happen. So we need to just throw their asses back over the border. Then, we need to concentrate on keeping them out. Build the fucking wall already!

We could use busted illegals for labor.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Improve sperm integrity"
So what exactly are you saying, asshole?!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Super Bowl Ex El

I don't really care about either team in the Super Bowl this year, but I'll probably watch it anyway if for noother reason than that's when the best commercials are. And see what bets I lost on the parlay.

However, here's someone's perspective of the match-up:

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My Sentiments Exactly

All things Bond

Funny article.
All the millions the guy must be making, and this?

A Funny

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie. "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees."

"Really? Now that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken-shit

I Didn't Know This Was In The Quran

I don't know what all the racket is over some silly cartoon, but then I haven't seen it yet.
It can't be as bad as this picture someone took:

Image hosting by Photobucket
"Hold still you infidel pig!!!"

"A-A-A-Allah A-A-A-Akbar!
Oh yeah. . . Oh yeah. . .
Allah be praised. . .Oh yeah. . ."

Intelligent Design vs. Evolution

Intelligent design? Evolution?
Whatever. I'm not going to debate it. It's not that big of an issue to me.
Nobody really knows where we came from, where the plants, animals, bacteria and even the Earth, planets and universe came from. Theories abound, but there is no solid proof of a 'Big Bang', or for that matter, an Adam and Eve.

People eons ago created all sorts of lore and mythology. Take a look at astrology. They made up stories to base characters on star patterns or asterisms in the night sky. What's to keep them from making up a myth based on a woman being created from a spare rib taken from a man?

Scientific nuts think too much of themselves to believe in a 'higher power', and religious nuts think too much of themselves to think anything could be possible without a 'higher power'.

My only question is this:
If man eveolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Mine Rescue Summary

I wanted to post the entire story, in case the link went away. Worth a read.
Mine Rescuer Recounts W.Va. Recovery

By JIM SUHR, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 19 minutes ago

ST. LOUIS - When Brett Bushong emerged from the Sago Mine, he saw a floodlit army of ambulances, a swarm of medical workers and anguished expressions on onlookers' faces.

The lone survivor of the Jan. 2 explosion had just been brought to the surface barely alive, but Bushong and the other members of the Illinois-based mine rescue team didn't have the other 12 missing men.

"Everyone was looking at us as if saying, `Where's everyone else?' My heart drops to the floor. I couldn't look them in the eye," Bushong told The Associated Press.

"I felt like we let everyone in the nation, and the families, down. I feel good that I aided in the rescue of the one survivor, getting him out and getting him care. But it does bother me that we couldn't bring the other guys out."

Bushong, 26, recounted publicly for the first time Thursday what the crew from the Viper Mine in central Illinois witnessed at the Sago Mine. A month after the explosion left 12 miners dead and one clinging to life, the images are still vivid in his mind.

As an emergency medical technician and volunteer firefighter, Bushong, who works as a diesel mechanic, said he was accustomed to handling trauma victims. Mine-rescue training and competitions had prepared him for duty, but Sago was the first time he was called.

Hours after the explosion, Bushong and others on the Viper team were whisked by private jet to West Virginia, learning along the way that 13 miners were trapped deep inside the mine.

The next day, the team was sent in to retrieve the first body found — Terry Helms, who had been killed by the explosion. Farther inside the mine, the search continued for the rest of the men.

The crew was about to remove Helms when a federal mine-safety inspector shouted to them to come quickly. Another crew had found a survivor — Randal McCloy was clinging to life with labored breathing and an elevated pulse. Bushong and a crewmate hustled to help him.

"I didn't think he had much of a chance," Bushong said by telephone from his home in Athens, Ill. "His life was leaving his body pretty rapidly."

McCloy was rushed to the hospital, and the crew came to the surface to regroup, he said. About 20 minutes later, they were sent back into the mine to retrieve the other 12 miners.

"We were told we were going to be doing the dirty work," Bushong said. "We took it upon ourselves that it had to be done."

Bushong said the remaining miners were found cloistered together, looking as if they were on break. Some were sitting upright against the mine's craggy wall, others were lying down, he said. One had his hands folded, apparently in prayer as carbon monoxide slowly put him eternally to sleep.

Bushong meticulously went to each twice, gently feeling for a pulse. All of them were cold, their bodies stiffening.

"What bothered me was that it looked like the way it is when I'm at home, when we have down time and everybody in our unit would all get around in a central point and all talk about things, joke around," Bushong said.

Accompanied by two federal mining inspectors, the crew logged the name and
Social Security number on brass tags each of the dead had on his belt, as required by federal law for identification purposes. The crew noted how and where the bodies were found, then gently placed them in body bags and carried, then carted, them out.

Bushong and others in his group helped retrieve notes each miner had scrawled, left on their bodies or in their lunch boxes.

"None of us read it. We didn't want to tamper with it," Bushong said. "We just wanted to respect them."

McCloy came out of a coma just last week and is recovering at a Morgantown, W.Va., rehabilitation hospital. Doctors have said he might have suffered brain damage from the carbon monoxide poisoning, but the extent of the damage is not yet known.
It had to be a hard thing for these guys to do.

This Day In Music / History

From HistoryChannel.com:
1959 Plane crash kills popular musicians

Rock stars Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and J.P. "The Big Bopper" Richardson are killed when their chartered Beechcraft Bonanza plane crashes in Iowa a few minutes after takeoff on a flight from Mason City to Moorehead, Minnesota.

Spam Subject of the Day

"take or lupin phlegm"
Can't have that, can we?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Speaking Of Law Suits

Man Sues Apple Over Potential Hearing Loss
AP - Wed Feb 1, 11:37 PM ET

SAN FRANCISCO - A Louisiana man claims in a lawsuit that Apple's iPod music player can cause hearing loss in people who use it.

The suit, which Patterson wants certified as a class-action, seeks compensation for unspecified damages and upgrades that will make iPods safer. Patterson's suit said he bought an iPod last year, but does not specify whether he suffered hearing loss from the device.

Patterson does not know if the device has damaged his hearing, said his attorney, Steve W. Berman, of Seattle. But that's beside the point of the lawsuit, which takes issue with the potential the iPod has to cause irreparable hearing loss, Berman said.

"He's bought a product which is not safe to use as currently sold on the market," Berman said. "He's paying for a product that's defective, and the law is pretty clear that if someone sold you a defective product they have a duty to repair it."

[my bolding]

Uh, yeah. Let's invent another law suit so we can make some money.
What a greedy, self-centered phukkwad.

Just for comparison, I believe OSHA thinks you can tolerate a maximum of 90 db in an eight hour period without sustaining permanent damage. Of course, your hearing can tolerate lower db levels for longer periods and higher db levels for shorter periods.

Cons: It could turn out that anything putting out sound will now be limited to a certain decibel level. Save the ears, right?

Scenario A: You're trying to listen to a teevee, watching the game in a crowded bar? The din of the crowd could already be at 90 db. If the teevee is limited to say, 80 - you're not going to hear it. Well, pump it through the music system you say. That won't help if it too is limited.

Scenario B: It's a nice day, so you have the windows open, a cold beer on the patio table, wearing your shorts, enjoying the sunshine and doing a little yard work. You're outside raking the leaves with the music playing on the stereo in the house. But you can't hear the music. It's been limited as to how loud it can be.
If you're six inches from the speakers, the sound could be 90 db. Outside, it could be 40.

Pros: It's Sony getting sued. Those assholes deserve it.

A New One On Me

DEA says Colombians hid heroin in puppies

Thu Feb 2, 6:25 AM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Colombian drug dealers smuggled heroin into the United States by surgically implanting the powerful drug into puppies, the Drug Enforcement Administration said on Wednesday.

Among the methods used to transport the drugs were human couriers, who swallowed heroin packets, as well as the Labrador Retriever puppies. In one planned shipment, six puppies were found impregnated with three 6.6 lb of liquid heroin packets.

DEA spokeswoman Erin McKenzie-Mulvey said that in January 2005, DEA officers and police in Colombia found six puppies with scars on their bellies at a makeshift veterinarian clinic on a rural property.

Ultrasound scans revealed the heroin hidden inside the young dogs, three of which later died of infection. Another four puppies were found with no drugs inside them, she said.

That's nice.
I guess people here keep buying it, so they have to get it here somehow.

Here's a picture of the criminals:

A Funny

This kid name Bobby joined the paratroops, which thrilled his Dad! Every other day the Father would call him for news of his progress. The first time, he asked, "Did you jump yet, Bobby?"

Bobby says, "No, Dad, they just have us sliding down a wire and dropping into water!"

The second time the Father asked him again, "Jump yet?"

Bobby said, "No Dad, they have us jumping off a small tower to teach us how to drop and roll!"

Two days later the Father again called him again, "Jump yet?"

Bobby says, "We finally went up in a plane today, Dad!"

Father: "Did you jump?"

Bobby, "Well, when we got over the drop zone, we all stood and the back of the plane opened up!"

Father: "You jumped?"

Bobby: "Well when the green light comes on, and all the troops ran out the back!"

Dad: "Great! You jumped!"

Bobby: "No, I was scared Dad, so I grabbed the bulkhead and wouldn't let go!"

Dad: "Then what? "

Bobby: "Well, this real big drill sergeant took out his penis, and said, "Anything still on this plane in 10 seconds is gonna get this up the ass!"

Dad: "Geeez! So you jumped?"

Bobby: "Well----just a little--- at first!"

Spam Subject of the Day

"Will beryl be pang"
Maybe. Just maybe.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

That Had To Hurt

Bomb-Sniffing Dog Gets Good Seat at Speech
AP - Tue Jan 31, 10:50 PM ET

WASHINGTON - First lady Laura Bush's guests at her husband's annual address to Congress certainly were diverse. One, in fact, wasn't even human.

Hey Cindy! How does that feel!
A military dog from Iraq got a better seat than you!
And got to see the entire speech!


AT&T Sued Over U.S. Wiretapping Program
PC World - Wed Feb 1, 9:00 AM ET

Company is accused of collaborating with an NSA program to intercept Internet and telephone communications.

Oh fer gawd's sake.

These morons can't get Bush to admit he was wrong doing this (which he wasn't), so they go after any company who may have had anything remotely at all to do with it. Thus ensuring any future actions will be reconsidered once, twice, thrice or even 87 ways from Sunday before consideration by any non-government entity.


But the idiots suing are from San Francisco so I wouldn't expect anything different.

State O' The Union

I heard on teevee prior to The State of the Union address last night that a bunch of democrats, along with some other notorious protesters were going to gather up some pots and pans, and try to disrupt Bush's speech by banging on them in unison while he was talking.

I watched some of the speech and never heard them, but I did find this little video clip of them which was released later:
Click here to see protest footage outside the Capitol building.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Kremlin washer"
Okay, I give. Is that someone who washes the Kremlin?