This Made Me Chuckle Even Harder

Please. For the love of all that is holy. DO NOT drop anything you will later need to pick up!


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Just Because

It made me chuckle:

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Spam Subject of the Day

"We ship directly to you"

Well, if I order something, I kinda hope you would, you fucking idiot.


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Litter

I call this picture "White Paper Plate Abandoned In The Snow":




















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Kiss My Ass

Mexico issues sharp rebuttal to Arizona immigration law

Citizens and officials in Mexico reacted angrily to the new Arizona immigration law signed Friday, with Mexican President Felipe Calderón saying it hindered collaboration along the border region.
[...]

Ms. Olivera is not the only person here reacting angrily to the new immigration law, dubbed as the toughest on the books in America. Mexican President Felipe Calderón himself issued a strong rebuttal of it over the weekend.
[...]

You know, that just cracks me the fuck up. If shit was better in Mexico, there wouldn't be many people trying to get the hell out.

They have a lot of room to talk.



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Outta Luck

Well, after extensive consideration, you all are out of luck. I decided to not do it. At least not for free.



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Spam Subject of the Day

"Want to know me?"

Nope.


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So I've been Thinking

I should probably do a nude photo shoot and post the results on this here blog.
Thoughts anyone?


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Wouldn't Want To Be Ya'

Malcolm X assassin Hagan is freed on parole in NYC

NEW YORK — The only man ever to admit involvement in the assassination of Malcolm X was freed on parole Tuesday, 45 years after he helped gun down the civil rights leader.
[...]

This dude is walking around with a target on his back would be my guess. He needs to just disappear.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"Lucky day for [me]! 75% off only for you"

Gee. I feel so special.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"hey, is your girl feel down with your shorterPenis"

No, she don't get to use it. It is still firmly attached to me.


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Just So You Know

Dropping a 3-1/2" fully loaded paint brush from 20 feet up a ladder onto the concrete driveway below makes a big fucking mess.

Now you know too. Avoid it if possible.


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Fire In The Hole

Quick end to gulf oil leak depends on robot subs

Sun Apr 25, 9:43 pm ET

NEW ORLEANS - It could take hours or it could take months to stop a 42,000-gallon-a-day oil leak polluting the Gulf of Mexico at the site of a wrecked drilling platform. Whether the environmental threat grows many times bigger depends on whether the oil company can turn the well completely off.
[...]

Yet another - if not the best reason we should be using the vast reserves from the thousands of capped wells already drilled here on land.

This is going to cause one hell of a mess.

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Don't Talk To 'Strangers'

Aliens may exist but contact would hurt: Hawking

LONDON (AFP) - Aliens may exist but mankind should avoid contact with them as the consequences could be devastating, British scientist Stephen Hawking has warned.
[...]

Bullshit. If they've figgered out a way to get here, I want to know how the hell they did it. That would be some cool shit.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"Start your own Tax Business - Learn Accounting"

Fuck that. I hate working numbers.

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That Would Be That

Coast Guard: No oil leak from sunken rig off La.

NEW ORLEANS – No oil appeared to be leaking after a drilling rig exploded and sank in the Gulf of Mexico,
[...]

Well, that's one way to put the fire out.



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Spam Subject of the Day

"Help anywhere in the USA for Toyota and Lexus injury victims"

Even if you made your claim up!


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Earth Day

Happy Earth Day everyone.

We must do our part as mother nature does hers:

Everyone nuke a gay whale for Jeebus!


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McAfee Sucks Dick

We use McAfee anti-virus in our corporate environment. Yesterday, someone's computer got hosed by their latest DAT file update. Of course, we didn't know at the time that McAfee had screwed the pooch on this update and just figgered the user was guilty of doing stupid shit and infecting their computer with a virus, as many other users have done in the company due to McAfee's shortcomings in protecting computers in the first place. Note to readers: If you have a choice, choose something besides McAfee. It is shit.
So anyway, after a couple tries at fixing this user's computer, the decision was made to reinstall the OS and all applications from scratch. Now that it has been rebuilt, we find that we didn't need to.

If you have this issue, here is a snippet of a fix someone posted in their blog. Follow the 'McAfee Fix' link for the whole thing:

McAfee Fix

1. get a copy of SCVHOST.EXE off of your original CD, or even from an unaffected system.

2. Download the McAfee DAT 5959 from: http://www.mcafee.com/apps/downloads/security_updates/dat.asp?region=us&segment=enterprise
.
.
.
12. Send hate-mail to McAfee for ruining your day.

Thanks, I hope this helped!

I agree with #12 wholeheartedly.

I will of course be totally disappointed if there are no "Blah blah MAC OS blah MAC OS blah blah blah MAC OS" comments. I will assume you didn't actually read to this point.

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Spam Subject of the Day

"Please attention!"

You, fuck!



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Eyjafjallajokull

Finally, a pronunciation:

In Photos: Lightning electrifies volcano ash

The Newsroom – Tue Apr 20, 4:07 pm ET Sent 228 times

The Eyjafjallajokull (ay-yah-FYAH-lah-yer-kuhl) volcano continues to produce spectacular visual effects. Photographers have captured images of lightning, seemingly erupting directly from the volcano. The bolts may look like Hollywood special effects, but they're very much the real deal. No CGI required. But as LiveScience reports, they're also still a "bit of a mystery."
[...]

Here I thought someone couldn't think up a name and just made one up using random keys.

But then, it must be hard to come up with unique names for geological formations. How many times do you reckon mountain, river, creek, draw, pass, canyon, ... oh, and volcano names have been replicated across this great big old world of ours anyway? There are probably hundreds of "Clear Creek"s, or "Swift Creek"s. How many mountains are named "Pine Top" I wonder? How many mesas are named "Table Mountain"?

Hence, I don't blame Icelanders for just saying "Fuck it, Mr. Volcano. Here's your name: Fgerklkajrelk." Or maybe "Ksowehrbndfsfuhy". How about "Gweuwyermxvewior"?

I know, this post don't make much sense. But it was fun while it lasted.

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Spam Subject of the Day

"Add 2-4 inches on your smallPENIS"

WHOA! Is that length or width?



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Score Two For AZ

First, they make it legal to carry guns without a concealed carry permit, then they pass some laws cracking down on wetbacks. I like it!

Too bad more states follow California's example than Arizona's. Oh well. There is hope I reckon.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"[0d4CcUNAQQcHN9s4zYYUoYQ]"

Now that's informative.




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Spam Subject of the Day

"Hi"

Hi.


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Good Gawd

Muslim swimwear? BWAAAAHHHH!!!!

Now that is a hoot.

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Spam Subject of the Day

"Local SWAT Team Training"

Sounds like fun!


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Quote Of The Day

"Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?"

Sorry. I giggled.

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Rehab?

Bah:

Report: Pope says "we" must repent for abuse

VATICAN CITY - Pope Benedict XVI referred Thursday to "attacks" on the church stemming from clerical sexual abuse scandal and said "we Christians" must repent for sins and recognize mistakes, news reports said.
[...]

They'll all probably just go to sex addiction rehab for a month like all famous people do and consider themselves 'healed' and forgiven.

Fucking perverts.

What they need is a little jail time.

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Spam Subject of the Day

"is your girl SATISFIED? or NOT due to your SmallDick?"

Yup. And so is my wife.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"Last all night"

Fuck that. I ain't 45 no more.



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Born Late

Maine Commission Moves to Ban Gender Specific Bathrooms, Sports Teams in Schools

By Diane Macedo

- FOXNews.com

The Maine Human Rights Commissions taking heat over a proposal to ban schools from enforcing gender divisions in sports teams, school organizations, bathrooms and locker rooms, saying forcing a student into a particular room or group because of their biological gender amounts to discrimination.

The little girls' room won't be just for little girls anymore, if the Maine Human Rights Commission has its way.
[...]

Well, son of a bitch. Where was this law when I was in school? I would have loved, just fucking LOVED to be able to join the girls in their locker room after P.E. class.

On the other hand, fucking liberals are at it again. No, you can't satisfy everyone all the time by creating dumb-assed legislation like this.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"Play exciting and fabulous games in the online casino."

Fabulous? WTF?




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Spam Subject of the Day

"look at my profile, Olga from Russia"

Oh hey! Is that you? The one with the babushka? Nice.


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Immunity?

I'm sure by now you've heard of the asshole who was smoking in the shitter of the airplane:

US to close book on diplomat's airline bomb scare

WASHINGTON - The U.S. plans to close the book on the bomb scare aboard a Denver-bound airliner after receiving assurances from Qatar that the diplomat who touched off the panic will be sent home, officials said.
[...]

The dude may have diplomatic immunity from prosecution of any crime, but he don't have immunity from a good beat-down.

Too bad the other passengers didn't just kick the fuck out of the asshole.




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Spam Subject of the Day

"9 ladies are online now"

Is that all? Slow day?


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Huh?

Woman arrested after two young girls hurt in fall from balcony

Las Vegas police arrested a 37-year-old woman Wednesday after her 3-year-old daughter and 1-year-old granddaughter wandered onto the woman’s third-floor apartment balcony and fell over the railing to the ground below.
[...]

Wait a minute. Her 3-year-old daughter and 1-year-old granddaughter? Daughter and granddaughter that close in age? And she's only 37?
So many questions go unanswered.



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Spam Subject of the Day

"Help Microsoft focus on its customers"

Yeah, that'll happen.


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TAG!!!

The media is at it again. No surprise there though:

W.Va. mine owner accused of putting safety second
[...]
The disaster at the Upper Big Branch mine has focused attention on the business and safety practices of the owner, Massey Energy, a powerful and politically connected company in Appalachia known for producing big profits, as well as big piles of safety and environmental violations and big damage awards for grieving widows.
[...]

Any time there is an accident, reporters immediately try to place blame somewhere, on someone. Anyone.

Look. I worked in a coal mine for over four years. I worked over two of those years as a "Fireboss". Firebosses earn that title by learning all the rules and regulations of both state and federal mine safety agencies. You then must pass a two day test to get your certification. Firebosses are not 'company' men. They are not administration. If it is a union mine, they are union members. If not, they are regular hourly employees. They are responsible for pointing out and fixing potential violations or safety hazards, relaying that information to the mine operators, and keeping the mine safe for the workers.
There are laws in place which say that if there is an area or circumstance that poses an unsafe situation, you either fix the problem or avoid the area until it gets fixed. In other words, it is up to the people who are working there to either fix a problem or not work in the area.

Many violations that inspectors cite owners for are are non-issues, or at least, minute issues.
For instance, you folks who work in an office, ever used a non-commercial toaster to heat up your bagel? Ever used a home appliance coffee maker in your office instead of a commercial coffee maker? OSHA doesn't appreciate either being used.

How about this, ever use a 6-way power strip when you didn't have enough outlets? Ever plug that heater under your desk in using an extension cord?
Sure, those might not pose an immediate danger, but they aren't safe and are probably even illegal in most instances.

One more, ever drive without using a seat belt or keeping both hands on the wheel? Ever cross the street outside a pedestrian lane? Not safe, but not necessarily something that puts you in immanent danger either.

Now I'm not going to say there is no pressure from operators to work in unsafe conditions. They want the mine to make money and down time and repairs don't produce coal. But even under pressure, you still have a choice. Fix the problem, stay out, or quit. If not, hurt yourself or someone else, or even die.
"You can be replaced." is a common statement. But it beats the hell out of "You'll never walk again."

So the portion of the story that the media overlooks constantly, is that maybe this accident could have been prevented by the very people who died in it. I'm not saying it was their own fault or that they intentionally overlooked things causing the accident. What I am saying is let's determine the cause before placing the blame, mmmmkay?



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Spam Subject of the Day

"Make your dreams come true"

Uh, can you narrow it down any?


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You Go Sister!

I'm with you all the way!

Equal time: Women hold topless march in Maine

PORTLAND, Maine – About two dozen women drew a crowd of onlookers when they shed their shirts and marched downtown in Maine's largest city to promote what they call equal-opportunity public toplessness.
[...]

You have my full uh, 'support'.

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Spam Subject of the Day

"Lasik from only $299 - safe, easy, affordable"

Yeah, right. I'm going to order eye surgery off the intarwebs. Whatta fucking moron.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"SAFELY TALK AND DRIVE AT THE SAME TIME"

So how does chewing gum fit into that scenario?



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An Option For Mark

Collect all those critters and make a crispy, crunchy party tray!

Looks yummy, no?


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Spam Subject of the Day

"BIDSAUCE AUCTIONS ."

BIDSAUCE? What the fuck is that?


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Just Because It Made Me Laugh

I thought the movie "E.T." sucked. But that picture gave me a good giggle.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"I'll see you I really liked - let's get acquainted! I am from Russia!"

Not until you shave your armpits.


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