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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Turkey Day

So here it is almost Thanksgiving. You wouldn't know it, stores put out all their Christmas decorations even earlier than usual this year.
Pathetic. I went to the hardware store the weekend before Halloween to see if I could grab a couple stray witches or goblins to put out in the yard and all the hell they had was Christmas decorations.

Sad really. This holiday - or this day of recognition if you prefer - is, in my opinion, every bit as fun or traditional or 'togetherness' related as any holiday can be. What other time of year do you actually plan out and make it a point to join up with family and friends near and/or far that you usually don't meet up with? Unless of course, it's a funeral or a wedding.
Now I'm part of one of the luckier families where at least some of us get together several times a year. But for many people, this is the only time they get together - for better or worse.

On top of that, it's a celebration of where this country began, and what we have.
We don't know for sure what actually happened that first Thanksgiving, as we weren't there. Tradition has it that the new arrivals sat down and ate a big ole' meal with the indians. They cooked up a turkey, some corn, cranberries (I know, this is all loosely translated. Sue me), maybe a yam or two, some stuffing, mashed potatoes with giblet gravy, and big ole' punkin pie. Then they all said 'Grace' and passed platters full of bounty around the tables.

More realistically though, it's the end of the growing season. Fall is in the air and now it's time to hunker down and dig in for winter. Time to appreciate that all the hard work you have done during the past year has put food on the plate, in the pantry and down in the cellar. Time to give thanks for what you have, and what you are a part of. And that (hopefully) you have others to join you at the dinner table to share it all with.

Nowdays though, it seems retailers are so concerned with 'Black Friday' that they've moved it up a month. Rather than appreciate and celebrate anything you have accomplished in the last year, they get dollar signs in their eyes.
As soon as the Halloween candy has been passed out to all the little brats, it's time to grab the parents' money before they have a chance to even think about getting ready for the holidays. Get that "FANTASTIC DOOR BUSTER 3 O'CLOCK IN THE BLESSED MORNING 99% OFF TODAY ONLY BLUE LIGHT WITH A COUPON LIMITED TO THE FIRST 3 PEOPLE IN LINE" deals going. Got to get those impulse dollars in through the front door before they have any sort of a chance to slip away on something so silly as a trip to gramma's house.

Well, I got some news. I ain't getting distracted. I ain't going to let Thanksgiving slip past. The horn-o-plenty will remain the centerpiece for a few more days.
The gourds will sit on the mantle for a few more days.
The boxes of Christmas decorations aren't coming off the shelf until after T-day, and the lights can sit there quietly untested for a few more days.

The turkey is in the refrigerator thawing, along with the ham. The stockings are in a box.
We'll lounge around and enjoy each others company, some football and perhaps even some of the parade, the aroma of the bird roasting in the oven. After all that, we'll settle in for the evening and relax. It is over a month until Christmas. There is plenty of time to get the tree decorated, lights put up, and gifts bought, without having to miss out on one single bit of the pleasure and value of this holiday.

You all do the same. Have a happy Thanksgiving.


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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Nothing To See Here, Move Along

Slacking bad lately, eh? This blogging hobby as all but dried up it seems.

Not much of anything interesting to say, so let me tell you why more matter than antimatter remains when you collide protons with antiprotons:
"The ratio of matter to antimatter in the experiment was revealed by observing a particular product of the collision, called B mesons. These particles are made up of one quark and one antiquark. B mesons, in turn, decay into other particles, including a type called muons. By studying the kinds of muons created in the collision, the researchers were able to calculate just how much more matter than antimatter resulted."
I'll bet you didn't know that.


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Monday, November 08, 2010

Don't Ever Do That Again!

It just isn't worth it.

So what if that nose hair tickles. Get the scissors and cut it. DO NOT PULL IT OUT!!!
The resulting irritation and sneezing fit just doesn't add up to the inconvenience of walking to the mirror, using the scissors and gently puffing into the kleenex.


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Friday, November 05, 2010

Observations

The building I work in is "l" shaped. If I go from one end to the other, it is usually easier for me to just cut across the parking lot rather than go through all the secure doors, down all the hallways, and pause at several offices to answer questions.

So while cutting across the parking lot this morning, I noticed several 'interesting' things about my co-workers vehicles:

* Sure, you're happy you're married, and hence you proudly display your wife's garter by hanging it from your rear view mirror. If said garter is big enough to use as a spare tire cover, maybe you should display it somewhere else. Like the dumpster.

* Yes, I understand infants are not predictable, if they have a need to relieve themselves they just do. And I also understand dirty diapers are icky, and aren't usually welcome guests in the front seat with the passengers.
But if you're going to throw your dirty diaper in the back of your truck, don't you think you should also take the time to throw it in the garbage when you get back to the house?

* Dude, your car would probably only net you about $500 on the open market. You wasted money on "The Club".

* Uh, Mister White Car driver, that 'bra' really looks nice against the smashed in bumper and crinkled fenders.

* Really? "Superman" seat covers? What, do they help keep your "Underoos" from riding up while you drive?

Whatever.

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Monday, November 01, 2010

Happy Halloween

It was good. Good party Saturday, plenty of tricky-treaters Sunday.

But listen kids, if you're a girl and you're old enough to fill a 'C' cup, you may be too old for trick or treating.
If you're a boy and you are driving a car from house to house, you may be too old for trick or treating.

I know there is really no age limit but come now. We had these types and they were too old.