"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Monday, April 25, 2011

A Funny

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck."
 
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
 
"And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman.
 
"I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck.

"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
 
"Certainly, sorry about that," Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.

"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.  What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck.

"I'm a plasterer."
 
The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.
So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.
 
The same thing happens for two weeks..

Then one day the circus comes to town.
 
The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"
 
"Sounds marvelous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.

"Get him to give me a call."
 
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."
 
"I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck.

"Where is it?"

"At the circus," Says the barman.
 
"The circus?" Repeats the duck.
 
"That's right," Replies the barman.
 
"The circus?" The duck asks again. with the big tent?"
 
"Yeah," the barman replies.
 
"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.
 
Of course," the barman replies.
 
"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.
 
"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says
 
"What the fuck would they want with a plasterer??!"

Friday, April 22, 2011

Easter

So did you hear about the dude giving up food for lent? No joke, it's totally true.
He vowed that during lent, all he would consume is beer and water.
I think I like this guy.

In the meantime, a picture that has been floating around for a couple years:

I know, I know. Blasphemous. Oh well.

Happy Bunny Day everyone!  Now go grill some steaks, or maybe some pork chops.


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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

In Other News

Yup, I guess it's been long enough that I should put another post up here.

Starting to warm up around these parts. It's been in the mid 80's a few days.
That temp is nice. But it also means that summer is getting near, and well, fuck. I don't think I like the desert near as much as I used to.

Oh well. This is where the home is. This is where the job is. I reckon I'll stick around a spell.



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Friday, April 08, 2011

Home And Dry

Damn this "Global Warming™". It's preventing me from going to my home away from home this weekend. 2-4 feet of snow forecast.

Oh well. I guess it will be another weekend of working in the workshop, listening to the tunes, and chilling.

Life is good.

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Friday, April 01, 2011

Update Update

Well, that was fun.
Actually, we got back monday, but I've been too lazy to post anything.

A good trip though.
However, I would recommend to anyone that before going to Mickeyland, make sure there are NO FUCKING high school cheerleader championships happening the same time you are there.
I've never seen so many ornery, snotty, obnoxious, ugly, adolescent bitches in one place at the same time. They were like fucking cockroaches coming out of the walls. Every cafe, quickie-mart, store, ... everywhere.

Of course we went other places too. Beaches, tide pools full of critters, Newport, even saw the nuts at Venice beach. Good time.

Side note: I accidentally clicked the wrong button and deleted a whole bunch of your comments. So sorry. I wasn't being mean.

Oh, and Freddie/Rae Rae, I'm expecting an email as to where the fuck you went now.


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