Yawn

Conservatives Drive Bush's Approval Down:
AP - 27 minutes ago

WASHINGTON - Angry conservatives are driving the approval ratings of President Bush and the GOP-led Congress to dismal new lows, according to an AP-Ipsos poll that underscores why Republicans fear an Election Day massacre.

News? Not this.

What A Surprise

Report: Katrina Contractors Bilk Taxpayers:
AP - Thu May 4, 7:26 PM ET Avg. Rating: 4.6

WASHINGTON - While removing enough debris to cover Britain, contractors working on hurricane recovery have overbilled the government in a $63 billion operation that only will get more expensive, according to a House report Thursday.

Contractors taking advantage of the government?
I'm shocked. Aghast even.

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree

Kennedy Blames Crash on Prescription Drugs:
AP - 1 hour, 43 minutes ago Sent 259 times

WASHINGTON - Rep. Patrick Kennedy says he'd taken a prescription anti-nausea drug that can cause drowsiness, but consumed no alcohol, before crashing his car near the Capitol.

Uh huh.
I think the DMV should definitely have second thoughts before issuing a license to any Kennedy.

Spam Subject of the Day

zzzzzzzz zzzz ZZZ.Free No Obligation Mon Jan 18, 2038

Yes. Tempt me.
By the way, notice the date.

Uh Huh. And I Deserve $500,000

Study: US mothers deserve $134,121 in salary:

By Ellen Wulfhorst Wed May 3, 9:11 AM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A full-time stay-at-home mother would earn $134,121 a year if paid for all her work, an amount similar to a top U.S. ad executive, a marketing director or a judge, according to a study released Wednesday.
[...]

To reach the projected pay figures, the survey calculated the earning power of the 10 jobs respondents said most closely comprise a mother's role -- housekeeper, day-care teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, chief executive and psychologist.
[...]

Right. So many things come to mind here.
First thought - Chief executive and psychologist? Yeah. Right. Don't flatter yourselves. What 21 year-old 'mom' can handle the same complexities a CEO does. And training or brainwashing kids hardly meets the qualifications of an experienced psychologist.
And then there's - Where the hell do you come up with numbers like that? The average baby sitter don't make anywhere near that much. Should we pay them all more too?
Another thought - There are way too many so-called 'mother's who ain't worth the powder to blow them to hell. They don't even deserve the dollar-a-day, or whatever the hell the amount welfare gives them is.
Next - There are plenty of illegal aliens in the country who would work for pennies on the dollar doing the same job.
And - Salary.com did the study, which is located in Tax-achusetts. We can't expect them to reasonable or rational. Otherwise my salary would reflect what they think it should. Hint: It ain't even close.

Yo Ho Ho!

Hungary workers get shock at bottom of rum barrel:

1 hour, 15 minutes ago

BUDAPEST (Reuters) - Hungarian builders who drank their way to the bottom of a huge barrel of rum while renovating a house got a nasty surprise when a pickled corpse tumbled out of the empty barrel, a police magazine website reported.

According to online magazine www.zsaru.hu, workers in Szeged in the south of Hungary tried to move the barrel after they had drained it, only to find it was surprisingly heavy and were shocked when the body of a naked man fell out.
[...]

According to the website, workers said the rum in the 300-liter barrel had a "special taste" so they even decanted a few bottles of the liquor to take home.
[...]

Special taste indeed.
On top of that, it makes you wonder what this renovated house looked like after these rum-soaked builders were done with it.

Cow Tipping And Body Art

Okla. Set to Lift Ban on Tattoo Industry:
AP - Wed May 3, 7:50 PM ET

OKLAHOMA CITY - The Legislature gave final approval to a bill Wednesday to legalize the tattoo industry in Oklahoma, the only state that prohibits the trade.

Hmm. I didn't know there were any states where tatts were illegal.
Oh well. Good for them. Go waste money and paint yourselves up now.

It's All Good

Moussaoui sentenced to life for 9/11 conspiracy:

By Deborah Charles and James Vicini 11 minutes ago

ALEXANDRIA, Virginia (Reuters) - A defiant Zacarias Moussaoui was sentenced to life in prison on Thursday, one day after a jury spared his life and rejected U.S. government arguments that the September 11 conspirator should be executed.
[...]

At first, I thought he should be killed. Unceremoniously and painfully killed. But that would only serve to make him a martyr. A life sentence is probably better all around.

However, I heard he was going to be confined to solitary 23hours a day. He would only be allowed out of his 6'x6' cell for one hour a day to exercise, and then he would not be around any other prisoners.
No one to break his traitorous fucking neck, no 'Bubba' love in the shower, no human interaction at all, save when the guard brought his bread and water.

A good punishment, but too bad we taxpayers have to support his bin Laden loving ass for who knows how long. Fucker.

Spam Subject of the Day

"may precedent, Madge but critter"

Madge? Critter?
Sounds serious.

A Funny

An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"

The old timer said, "I'm a golfer and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."

The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my father's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your father is still alive? How old is he?"

The old timer said, "He's 100 yrs old and, in fact, he golfed with me this morning. That's why he's still alive, he's a golfer."

The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your grandfather? How old was he when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"

The old timer said, "He's 118 yrs old."

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"

The old timer said, "No...Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married."

The doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?"

The old timer shot back, "Who said he wanted to?"

Cha-Ching!!!

Nine states sue Bush over fuel efficiency

Wed May 3, 1:25 AM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Nine states have sued the administration of
President George W. Bush for lenient automotive fuel economy standards that they say worsen an energy crunch and contribute to air pollution and climate change.
[...]

BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH !!!! ........ Yeah. That'll work.

Some lawyer thinking he or she could make a shitload of money planted an idea into some pea-brained rocket surgeon's head, now we have this.
Thanks asshole. Let's waste more taxpayer money on government court costs now.

Once Again, Responsibility Takes A Dump

Nearly All Sodas Sales to Schools to End:
AP - 2 hours, 53 minutes ago

NEW YORK - The nation's largest beverage distributors have agreed to halt nearly all soda sales to public schools, according to a deal announced Wednesday by the William J. Clinton Foundation.

WTF? Here's a thought. How about you parents instead, get your kids to put down the game boy, get off their fat asses and go outside to play ball or ride a bike. Something.
Then, when they come back in the house, cook them a healthy meal instead of stopping at McDonalds on the way home or ordering pizza. If they get healthy meals at the house, a can of soda pop ain't going to put them over the top.
You parents have no one to blame for fat kids but your own damn selves. The soda manufacturing companies and the school district shouldn't have to be regulated due to your inadequacies.

A Funny

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 90?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either."

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."

He looked at me and said, "Then why do you give a shit?"

Spam Subject of the Day

From: "___________________________"
Subject: "___________________________"

Now why the hell would I open an email like that?
Stupid fuck.

Yeah. What He Said

Velociman says:

[...]
There was real sympathy for wetbacks before these demonstrations, I tell ya. Nobody gave a shit, we all looked the other way. Trim my hedges, put my roof on. But it's like the gays. I think most people for the last 15 or 20 years were pretty much ambivalent about gays, tolerant as it were. You do your thing, I'll do mine. But then they started the whole Gay Pride Parades, and taking over Disney World, and insisting their agenda be mainstreamed into elementary schools, and a lot of people say you know what? I was wrong about you. Thought you could be a good neighbor. Mind your own business. Now you're sticking it in my face, and, pardon the expression, shoving it down my throat. And words like faggot rose again within the national dialogue. Not to mention rump ranger, queer, cocksucker, and polesmoker. Why? Because the gay community could not take their victory of tolerance and go home and play nice. They pushed the envelope, way too fucking hard, and the backlash is palpable. A real shame.

So it is now with the wetbacks. What was totally off the radar two months ago now has normally docile Americans ready to lynch a damned person who can't produce a temporary visa. And all this talk of Aztlan. Lookit, my little brown brethren: California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, that shit is not reverting to you. Ever. You have, in your attempts to sway the discussion, managed to infuriate 75% of the populace here. I, for one, won't buy a Subway sandwich a fucking mestizo makes without they shows a green card. We let you in here, we tolerated you, now you have pissed us the fuck off. Real bad. Again, a real shame. But you must understand the average American is a working stiff themself, and struggling to make ends meet. Why should you get a pass on paying income taxes, whilst leeching our welfare state? And all the while sending your filthy lucre back to Little Mexico? Fuck you!
[...]

A Challenge

There are references to 75 Bands in this picture. See how many you can pick out.*
I guess it was some sort of challenge from Virgin Records at one time.


*There is a translator on that page too, if you don't want to easily cheat.

Here's a clearer picture.

You Need To Know

Embalming Tips:

You probably already know that Clostridium perfringens, better known as “true” tissue gas, is one of the biggest nightmares for all embalmers. I would say most embalmers are never sure if they have a case with tissue gas or not, but the wise thing to do is to treat each case as if it may have Clostridium perfringens.

I thought you may need this information.

I Seem To Remember Mentioning This Somewhere

Robberies and drug offences up:

Guardian Unlimited | UK Latest

Press Association
Thursday April 27, 2006 5:03 PM

The number of robberies and drug offences recorded by the police jumped according to new crime figures published, piling further pressure on beleaguered Home Secretary Charles Clarke.

Violent crime rose by 1% in the final three months of last year compared with the same period in 2004, Home Office data showed.
[...]

Shadow home secretary David Davis said: 'It is alarming that the crimes which strike the most fear into the hearts of our communities - violence, robbery, sexual offences and drug-related crime - continue to rise.

Of course, you fucking morons. The boogy-man knows that good, honest citizens won't have any sort of weapon for defense, so they're easy targets.

Too bad sissified, gun-fearing sheeple here in the states haven't caught on to that yet.

Anna Nicole v. SCOTUS - II

"Thhassss righth guddammitnnnn. Sh-Showme th' fukkin' moneynnnnn - goddammit.
Ish muh money. MY mmmoneynnnnn.
Y'olennn sunza-bbbitchezznnnn got that?-nnnnnn"

Immigrants Try to Extend Boycott Momentum - Yahoo! News

Immigrants Try to Extend Boycott Momentum:

By GILLIAN FLACCUS, Associated Press Writer 34 minutes ago

LOS ANGELES - Illegal immigrants and their supporters vowed to keep up the pressure on Congress for reforms after more than 1 million people stepped out of the shadows and poured into the streets in a nationwide show of economic clout.

From Los Angeles to Chicago, Houston to Miami, a 'Day Without Immigrants' Monday meant a day boycotting work and school in favor of rallies and marches with waves of red, white and blue filling streets for miles.
[...]

[My emphasis]

Poured? Hardly.
Yeah, you had your vacation day. Now go home.