Solid Gold

I'm not twitter fan so, whatever. That don't matter. But this shit is a hoot. Here are a couple that cracked me the hell up:

Shitmydadsays

"You're gonna run into jerk offs. But remember, it's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shit comes out of it."

"Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you."

"Anytime someone sells you food in a sack, it's not a sack of food, it's a sack of shit."

"How the fuck should I know if it's still good? Eat it. You get sick, it wasn't good. You people, you think I got microscopic fucking eyes."

Why would i want to check a voicemail on my cell phone? People want to talk to me, call again. If i want to talk to you, I'll answer.

Oh, there is more. Much more.



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