"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Ask The Curmudgeon

DEAR CURMUDGEON: I have been seeing "Rodney" for four months. He is very nice, and we get along well. My problem is I am not totally attracted to him because of some dental issues.

Shortly after we started dating he told me he chews tobacco, which has contributed to his yellowing teeth. Because of this I find it hard to kiss him. Rodney has noticed it, but I told him I am not big on kissing -- which is really not the case.

How should I approach the subject with Rodney? This issue keeps me from completely falling for him. Please offer me some advice.

Turned Off
DEAR TURNED OFF: Stop being so superficial. So he don't have himself some pearly whites. At least he don't have meth mouth for fuck's sake. It's just bit of snuff.
And what's wrong with that? Didn't you ever swap DoubleMint with your boyfriend in high school? Why would that be any different than swapping a little Skoal?
That's right, get yourself "a little pinch between the cheek and gum" and you won't be so self conscious the next time you're swishing your tongue around his tonsils. As long as he don't drool or leave any chunks behind while he's licking your box, you'll be just fine.


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