Happy Friggin' B'Day To Me!

Yup, another year older today. Thought I would let you know in case you happened to forget.

Be sure and raise a glass!

Anyone up for spankin's?

By the way, that's not me.


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NEWS FLASH!!!

You've probably heard by now:

Michael Jackson dies in LA hospital

Well, let me be the first to say ....

Here are some of the best Michael Jackson Jokes ever!:

Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date?
A: There’s a big wheel parked outside his house.

Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.

Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect “10″?
A: Two 5 year olds.

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.

Q: Did you know they’re putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.

Q: What’s brown and often found in a baby’s diaper?
A: Michael Jackson’s hand.

Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off !!

Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my son!!

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy !!

Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 30 year old meat between 10 year old buns!

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!

`What's black and comes in little white cans?
~Michael Jackson`

The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.

`What's the worst stain to try to remove from a little boy's underpants?
~Michael Jackson's makeup.

Okay, I guess that's enough for now.
Except for the picture:


Goofy fucker. No big loss to the world as far as I'm concerned.


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What A Blow-dried Fuckwit

Ill. gov tells AP that strain is like Pearl Harbor

[...]
"Dec. 9 to my family, to us, to me, is what Pearl Harbor Day was to the United States," Gov. Rod Blagojevich told The Associated Press in an interview Thursday. "It was a complete surprise, completely unexpected. And just like the United States prevailed in that, we'll prevail in this."
[...]

What a pompous, arrogant, fuck.

How can he even take his little kerfuffle and compare it with the magnitude of death and destruction of Pearl Harbor?

May the sperm of a thousand ejaculating pron stars paint his face.



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The Slut Takes A Brief Pause From Slurping Cock And Speaks Up

Paris Hilton issues tart rebuttal to McCain ad
WASHINGTON - Attention, America: Paris has spoken. Paris Hilton, the blonde, doe-eyed celebrity thrust into the presidential campaign in an ad by Republican candidate John McCain, issued a tart rebuttal Tuesday, albeit in a scantily clad, tongue-in-cheek kind of way.
[...]

And we're supposed to take someone like her even half serious?



Related quote: "Two of my favorite people in the whole world bought me a digital camera. It has night vision. Which means I can look like a) Paris Hilton or b) a raccoon you catch going through your garbage.

Not much difference really."


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Eye Bleach

Bikers down to bare basics for eco demonstration
Sun Aug 3, 1:52 PM ET

ST. LOUIS - Fewer clothes and lots of skin have made a political point in a public park in St. Louis.
[...]

Uh, yeah. Right. Getting nekkid and riding bikes will bring down the price of gas.

Can you say "attention whore"?

And you can bet the people who are doing this are people you wouldn't want to see nekkid. For instance:



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