Headcold Haiku

Sneeze, wheeze, cough, snort.
Feel like shit with no energy
I want to lay down.

Sears/K-Mart revisited

Picture Bob Villa and Martha Stewart getting it on.
Ugh.

Brew Update

Tap-A-Draft Rocks!
I tapped a jug of the Wheat Stout over the weekend. The TAD system works quite well. Pour a glass, slide the tap back halfway to add a little head. Quite pleasant. No bottles to store, clean, cap, .....
The brew? It was also quite pleasant. Slight nutty/roasted flavor, not too hoppy, not too sweet. It just kind of slid down the throat.
Not quite as dark as Guiness and not as rich. Very good.

'Tis the season

The holiday season is officially here.  I know this because one of the local the radio stations, and also 3 channels on XM Radio have Christmas music playing on them as of Thanksgiving day. 

In light of this being said holiday season, I submit the following attempt at humor, which was penned by me one day roughly 25 years ago while bored in high school history class, oddly about this same time of year.  Some of it may sound familiar:

 

 

'Twas the night before Christmas

and all through the house,

the whole damn family

was drunk as a louse.

 

The stockings were hung

by the chimney with care,

with hopes that the 'Bud Man'

soon would be there.

 

I in my scivvies

and she in her drawers

were casually lying,

in drool on the floor

 

When out in the drive

there arose such a fuss

I got up with a bound

and started to cuss!

 

I shout "WHAT THE HELL!?"

at the top of my lungs

then up from the floor

almost everyone sprung.

 

A thud on the porch,

a pound on the door

a voice "OPEN UP!!"

"AND I'LL BRING IN SOME MORE!!"

 

When what to my bloodshot

eyes should appear,

ten, make it twenty

full cases of beer!

 

We let him on in

he sat down with a thud

then reached for the stack

and said "Hand me a Bud"

 

He said "Man it is cold,

and the roads are like shit,

after this year

I'm going to quit!"

 

We told him how everyone

liked having him so,

and we knew it was rough

driving in all of this snow.

 

But we'd miss him so badly

if he didn't come,

and they'd prob'ly replace him

with some useless bum.

 

A tear started to form

in his tired bloodshot eyes,

and he rose from his chair

(after five or six tries).

 

He said "Merry Christmas"

"I'll see you next year!"

Then he jumped in his truck

and he ground it in gear.

 

Then off through the night

in his Bud truck he went,

and I thought to myself

he didn't charge us a cent!

 

So next time you see

that big truck in the night,

wish him 'Merry Christmas',

and 'a wonderful night'!

 

 

Dave Summers

 

Michael Moore devours thanksgiving feast

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp!

Hmmm. Tasty snack.
When's dinner?

(Is it true he can wobble but he can't fall down?)

Coal Mining

Scant Chance of Survival for 141 Chinese Miners:

"Official figures show 4,153 coal mine deaths in the first nine months of this year, down 630, or more than 13 percent, from the same period last year."

4,153 in nine months. What is with these morons? I can't believe they would even work in one of those mines. The operators need to be jailed.
I worked in a coal mine for four years. You know how many deaths we had? Zero. I never heard of a coal mine fatality the entire time I worked in the mines. At least, none in the ones I worked in, or even the rest of the state.

488 coal mine related fatalities from 1992-2004 in the United States. China has roughly 10 times as many deaths in less than a year, than we had over a ten year period.

One would have to be totally crazy to work in a Chinese mine.

Date night in India

IOL: A Step Beyond

Hyderabad, India - India, home to the world's second-largest HIV population, may have found a perfect cocktail for safe sex... a free condom with every bottle of alcohol sold at liquor shops.

Ya know, I'm just not sure what to say about this.
I guess I'll just stick to this thought: It may be good for people old enough to buy booze and who do, but there are still a lot of people not legal age, and a also lot of people who just don't buy it.

There are still a couple things missing here. Common sense and self control.
Yes, there is still a truckload of people lacking the education to know what can happen, but there is also another truckload, or maybe even a convoy of people infected, who know the risks and ignore them.

Back in the saddle again

Well, I'm back from the weekend away.  Sorry for the lack of posts, but all computer time was spent fixing rather than surfing or posting. 

 

I hope you all (the huge loyal fan base) had as nice of a weekend as I did.  It was good to visit with family and friends, go to the snow country and see the sights. 

 

Blog Lite

Well, I may not be posting much from now until next week.

I'll be going out of town visiting and may or may not get on a computer. 

We'll be doing the usual - drive, sleep, eat, chat, poker, rinse, repeat - but it should be a good weekend.

 

At this time I pause to wish y'all "Happy Holidays".

Be thankful, be safe, be ready to plop - plop fizz - fizz.

 

Michael Moore dreams of being a Thanksgiving turkey

Hmm. I've got such a nice tan. I could just gobble myself up.
Entirely.
In one breath.
It's not like this would be the first time I've eaten an entire turkey, giblet and sweet corn stuffing, three pounds of cranberry sauce, one gallon mashed potatoes and gravy, an entire ham, eight yams, three sticks of butter - and gone back for seconds.

A funny

Although it applies to most backwoods towns, this came to me titled
'APPLICATION TO LIVE IN PAHRUMP, NEVADA'

Click here and chuckle.

Picture if you will...

Christmas shopping via razor scooter, down on Fremont Street (downtown Las Vegas for those not familiar with the area).

I have some strange dreams sometimes.

 

If Michael Moore were a real journalist

"Nope not that story. Nope, that one either.

Ahh yes. This one. This will make me some money!

Pass the wings."

A little after the fact

PETA has added fishing to the list of cruel things people do. Fish have feelings. They're smart.
Yup. About about as smart as members of PETA.

Next thing you know, there will be an offshoot: PETV. For vegetables.
They'll be policing our gardens and fields. Hugging stocks of celery and bitching about homeless heads of lettuce forced to sleep on the dirt.

Everyone needs a hobby I guess.


More here, and here.

Veteran CBS News Anchor Dan Rather to Resign

Good. Glad to hear it.
He should have quit a long time ago, the moron. But at least he's going away.

Update:
This tripledoubleyou is abuzz, not to mention somewhat giddy over the news.
Here, here, here. Especially here.

'Nuther Coupla Jokes

Q- Did you hear about the woman in San Francisco who was attacked by three men while she was walking down the street?
A- Two held her down while one did her hair.

An oldie:
Q- What's blue and sings alone?
A- Dan Akroyd.

Brew update

Again, awesome.
I bottled the Amber Ale last evening while cooking supper and watching the ball game.
The Tap-A-Draft jugs made it such a sweet process. 3 jugs and 5 12-ounce bottles. I was done and cleaned up in roughly an hour. 50 bottles usually takes me about 2 hours start to finish.
The brew? A nice deep coppery color. Fairly hoppy fragrance so far, but I haven't tasted it yet.

Thanks again to HOG ON ICE for posting about the TAD system on his blog. I never knew they existed.

From the 'Get Over It' department

Good gawd. Get the fuck on with your lives already.
Bush was elected by the majority. He is our president. He will lead the country to the best of his ability.
He doesn't act alone either. The Senate and House are all part of the action. It's not like he single-handedly rules the country for shit's sake.
Whiney-assed crybaby idiots just can't seem to accept that Bush got elected and support him instead of bitching about it.
Look. In government as in life, you have two scenarios. Fight or Flight. Bitching gets you nowhere. If you chose to fight, you can either fight for or against. Most whiney-assed crybabies would rather chose flight. Go sit in a corner and pout about not getting their way.
Well, if you're really serious about the flight thing, here's help. If you can honestly blame 'W' and present justification for everything wrong with your life, then I suggest you do it. If he is indeed guilty of all these infractions, maybe he needs to be replaced. If he isn't, then you're just looking for someone's shoulder to cry on and finding a scapegoat for shortcomings of the rest of the government.
Hey, the Senate and House are elected positions too. You put them there. If you say something stupid like "There's nobody in office I voted for." then maybe you need to stand back and take another look at yourself. Does "I'm right and the rest of the world is wrong" mean anything to you?

Bwah!

From Leno:
 -- "As you may have heard, Old Dirty Bastard has died. But enough about Yasser Arafat. "

American Crybaby Liberals Unfettered

Now here is another long overdue web site:
http://stoptheaclu.org/
Those assholes have been in business way too long.

Maybe they can team up with these nice people:
http://www.helpthemleave.com/

Although it's raining outside, the sun is shining in my little world.