BURBANK, Calif. - Snoop Dogg was arrested for investigation of illegally possessing a handgun and drugs as he left NBC Studios after performing on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno," police said.Drugs? And a handgun?
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WASHINGTON - The Bush administration wants North Korea's attention, so like a scolding parent it's trying to make it tougher for that country's eccentric leader to buy iPods, plasma televisions and Segway electric scooters.Oh Yeah! Punish those bastards!
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DE QUEEN, Ark. - The guitar-shaped bulge in Morgan Conatser's clothing tipped off a music store owner that there might be a crime in progress. Clifton Lovell, owner of Guitars and Cadillacs on U.S. Highway 71 in De Queen, was talking with a customer last week when he saw Conatser, 29, walking out of the store.Johnny-On-The-Spot there, ain't you?
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"I like to think of the ninja's and other sports bikes as Darwin's little helpers, weeding out the gene pool. the problem of course is that these nuts tend to hurt more than just themselves."Darwin's Little Helpers. I love it!
MICHIGAN, N.D. - When Carmen Erickson dropped a deer with a single shot in a cattail slough south of here, he thought he'd downed a nice buck. Unlike his shot, he was a little off. The deer was a doe.Probably just another one of those gender changers. Or should we be blaming this on global warming?
"It's got no male utilities," said Erickson, who lives in Minot. "It has teats ... it was pretty unusual."
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QUINCY, Mass. - John Russo has been a victim of identity theft. So when he was asked to fork over a photo ID just to be seated at an IHOP pancake restaurant, he flipped. "'You want my license? I'm going for pancakes, I'm not buying the Hope diamond,' and they refused to seat us," Russo said, recounting his experience this week at the Quincy IHOP.Yeah. Cold day in hell when I fork over my ID to sit in a restaurant.
Remember when recess was the best part of the school day? Not any more. In some parts of the country, that carefree half-hour - when kids could run, jump, scream and play tag or other games - is on the endangered list.You're Kidding!
Mon Nov 27, 8:40 AM ETWhat could I possibly add?
OTTAWA (Reuters) - A Canadian man who could not figure out how to deal with his girlfriend's feverish 10-month-old daughter put the baby into a freezer to cool her down, a local newspaper reported on Friday.
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NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla. - A woman's body was found wedged upside-down behind a bookcase in the home she shared with relatives who had spent nearly two weeks looking for her.Uh, gee. Didn't happen to think about tracking down that smell either I guess.
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NEW YORK - In a story unusual even for a soap opera and believed to be a television first, ABC's "All My Children" this week will introduce a transgender character who is beginning to make the transition from a man into a woman.Just what we need.
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"Jimmie wrote:"Let me guess. They all wrote the same fucking thing.
"Dan wrote:"
"Janine wrote:"
"Leila wrote:"
"Christine wrote:"
"Lucille wrote:"
"Lana wrote:"
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"Alberta wrote:"
"Mamie wrote:"
"Cameron wrote:"
"Lynne wrote:"
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"Kristin wrote:"
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"Guy wrote:"
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"Allison wrote:"
"Laura wrote:"
"Leila wrote:"
Life and a Can of Beer
When things in your life seem almost to much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar... and the beer.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal."
"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."
