Ass Wipe

Shit wipe.
Butt scrub.
Bum fodder.

And so on...

Good gawd! Some people - take Tokyo Rosie-O for instance - I mean, just think about it. her ass is so huge, and she is so full of shit, one square of ass wipe? Get real.

I know Chery Crow was fucking around. She was making a joke. And no one in their right mind would take her seriously. But then again, she is an entertainer, and entertainers always think they know how to solve every issue.

Cher·yl·Crow /ˈɪdiət/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[Share-ill-kroh] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation –noun

1.	an utterly foolish or senseless person.

2.	Psychology. a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25.

But nevertheless, here are a couple options if you happen to want to conserve shit scrub the "Crow" way":

• Use pages from the Koran instead

There should be enough of those floating around to get us by for quite some time. We wouldn't have to kill any trees to make ass wipe with for a quite a while. And really, that's about the only thing the book is good for anyway. On top of that, look at the statement you'll make to camel fuckers!

• Newspaper

A sheet of newspaper ought to be about the right size for Rosie's ass. It may take the entire Sunday paper to de-shit her canyon though.
Keep in mind though, as far left as most newspapers lean, you may have to reach around your right side with both hands to get a good scrub going.

• "O" Magazine

That one needs no explanation. There are few things that would make some people happier than a getting a good ass cleansing with Oprah's face.

So there you go. We have plenty of options on recycling other paper sources already in use. No need to conserve on the rolls of Charmin.




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