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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Feminazi

Gee. Wonder why?




This ain't my typical type of post, but after reading the story, well, my blood pressure seemed to get a little higher and higher with each word.

This Stupid bitch needs to be put over the knee and paddled a good one:
The reason Jeremy “helps” as much as he does (an offensive terminology that itself suggests who’s really being held responsible) is simple: He doesn’t have a choice.
[...]

So how have I accomplished this? By holding my husband’s feet to the fire every single day of our lives, of course.
[...]
Oh, OH OOOOHHH!!!! You strong wimmen turn me on so.

Yes, dear readers, it’s true: Maintaining some semblance of parity in your marriage requires you to deploy the same kinds of nasty tactics you swore you would never stoop to as a parent but nonetheless found yourself using the minute you actually had a kid. Bribery and punishment work; so do yelling and complaining. Threats are also effective, as long as everyone knows you mean business. With husbands, tender blandishments and nooky are particularly useful, as is the withholding of the aforementioned.
[...]
Uh, yeah. Us guys have the mentality of children and should therefore be treated like them.
Now I'll admit, once upon a time, the threat of no pussy took me aback and I would reconsider. Now, all I have to say is "I get none, you get none. You like that idea?"
This bitch probably prefers no fucking anyway. I'm sure it gets in the way of her self indulgence.
So all I can say to my fellow wives and mothers is: Rise up — you have nothing to lose but your unjust share of the burden. I know what you’re thinking: “I’ve tried to get him to help out more, but he won’t! What am I supposed to do?”
Well, for starters, how about not being such a bitch? Vinegar, honey, which do flies like better? Maybe he ain't interested in helping you out because you're such a cunt?
You’re supposed to insist, that’s what you’re supposed to do. It’s not as if women don’t have leverage these days; despite the stereotype of the middle-aged guy running off with the secretary half his age, two thirds of all divorces among Americans over 40 are initiated by women, not men. What does this tell us about their relative levels of satisfaction within marriage?
See above. You're not happy because you can't push your man around. Maybe you should turn lezbo. Get another woman to move in with you. It seems that's the only acceptable path to happiness around your stalag.
And while I recognize that gender stereotypes are risky, in my experience husbands are a lot like children. They will get away with whatever they can get away with. When you put your foot down and make it clear that you won’t take no for an answer, somehow the kids’ rooms get cleaned, the groceries bought, the laundry folded. It really does work, I promise.
Yeah, and someday you're going to find yourself living alone with 50 cats wondering why no guy wants to come around.

Look. You want a housemaid, hire one. You want a guy with his own personality, marry one.
I have no aversion to helping out around the house. Doing some things like cooking and cleaning up. But I also take care of my realm, which is the outside. I don't expect the Mrs to do half the yard chores, and I also don't expect to take care of all the indoor stuff either.

Dr. Helen puts it way better than I could ever put it though:
I have some advice for your long suffering husband, Jeremy. Next time you need something fixed around the house, your wife needs help lifting something, or you need a blowjob, resort to yelling and complaining. Threats are also effective, as long as she knows you mean business. Huff and puff and complain to all of your friends about her inadequacies and let the world know what a loser she is. Then crow about your newfound equality. Finally, call yourself a hero and write a lousy piece for Men's Health or some other men's magazine about your loser of a wife and see how your married life takes off after that. For deep down, even if Jeremy won't admit it, my guess is, just like the women mentioned in the article, he is seething inside. It's no wonder he won't scrub toilets for this woman.


Oh, and if the tables were turned:
… When my wife has lingered too long over her Cosmo magazine and I'm feeling overwhelmed by the three weeks we've gone without sex, I slap it out of her hand and let her know what's going to happen. "A husband has a right to sex," I say in a tone of voice that brooks no equivocation. She may struggle and squirm, but the job gets done. It's okay that I have to do most of the work.
BWAAAHHH!!!!

Makes as much sense as the original story.


Hat tip to Rachel Lucas yet again.


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6 comments:

Mark said...

What was once acceptable as the pussification of the American male is no longer acceptable.

Don't make me tell her that twice.

curmudgeon said...

No doubt.

Freddie said...

Oh man. I might have to get in on this one.

It might take a while though.

curmudgeon said...

PLEASE DO!

The British Bird. said...

she needs a spanking..not just a few swats either. Next a ball gag to stop the complaining should do the trick, and before jeremy goes out for the night with his mates, he needs to hand cuff her to the toilet. see, im not cruel. At least then she can take a slash and water if shes thirsty.

she may just like it. and he needs to find his set of bollocks.

curmudgeon said...

I think you have it all dialed in Bird! Excellent plan.