My, Thass Purdy

Oh yeah, gotta get me wunna those:


I wonder what they charge for one of them cool hats?
Me and the guys could wear them fishing, golfing, . . . Hell, if I could get one in camo for huntin', I'd be set!

Yeah. Paint a target on my ass while you're at it.

Another Fishing Funny

Dear Abby:

When I finally retired, I could hardly wait to spend time enjoying my favorite pastime -- bass fishing. I got my own little fishing boat and tried to get my wife to join me, but she just never liked fishing. Finally, one day at the Bait & Tackle Shop, I got to talking to Sam the shop owner who it turned out loves bass fishing as much as I do. We quickly became fishing buddies. As I said the wife doesn't care about fishing; she not only refuses to join us she always complains that I spend too much time fishing.

A few weeks ago Sam and I had the best fishing trip ever. Not only did I catch the most beautiful bass you've ever seen, only a few minutes later Sam must have caught his twin brother! So I took a picture of Sam holding up the two nice bass that we caught and showed the picture to the wife hoping that maybe she'd get interested. Instead she says she doesn't want me to go fishing at all anymore! And she wants me to sell the boat! I think she just doesn't like to see me enjoying myself.

What would you do? Tell the wife to forget it and continue my hobby or quit fishing and sell the boat as she insists?


Thanks, A fisherman
p.s. I have enclosed the picture of Sam showing off the bass we caught.




Dear Fisherman,
Get rid of that narrow minded wife. Those are some nice bass !

Quote of the Day

God Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

(unknown)

This Day in History - Cosmonauts

From HistoryChannel.com:

1971 Soviet cosmonauts perish in reentry disaster

The three Soviet cosmonauts who served as the first crew of the world's first space station die when their spacecraft depressurizes during reentry.

On June 6, the cosmonauts Georgi Dobrovolsky, Vladislav Volkov, and Viktor Patsayev were launched into space aboard Soyuz 11 on a mission to dock and enter Salyut 1, the Soviet space station that had been placed in orbit in April. The spacecraft successfully docked with the station, and the cosmonauts spent 23 days orbiting the earth. On June 30, they left Salyut 1 and began reentry procedures. When they fired the explosive bolts to separate the Soyuz 11 reentry capsule from another stage of the spacecraft, a critical valve was jerked open.

One hundred miles above the earth, the capsule was suddenly exposed to the nearly pressureless environment of space. As the capsule rapidly depressurized, Patsayev tried to close the valve by hand but failed. Minutes later, the cosmonauts were dead. As a result of the tragedy, the Soviet Union did not send any future crews to Salyut 1, and it was more than two years before they attempted another manned mission.

What struck me was that the dude was trying to close the valve and couldn't. Imagine what may have been going through his mind at the time.
Anyone who has ever had a near death experience can surely attest to those feelings.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Find someone to sleep with"

No thanks. I have my teddy.

Quote of the Day

"I can do anything you want me to do so long as I don't have to speak."
(Linda Evangelista)

Take heed Hollywood. For that matter, the rest of the world.
Remember, these are actors and actresses. Paid professionals. They are there to act - do what they're told.

This does not give them any sort of credentials when dealing with world events.

What A Shitty Way To Get Your Rocks Off

My first thought is, 'It ain't worth the trouble':

Peeping Tom Pulled From Outhouse Tank

"ALBANY, N.H. - A 45-year-old man was arrested after a teenage girl found him staring at her from below an outhouse seat, police said. Police said they pulled Gary Moody, from Gardiner, Maine, from the waste tank under a log cabin outhouse on Monday.

'We had to decontaminate him,' said Capt. Jon Hebert of the Carroll County Sheriff's Department, adding that firefighters hosed the man down before police handcuffed him. 'We treated him as if he were hazardous material,' Hebert said.

Moody was charged with criminal trespass. Hebert said he could face more charges.

Moody was freed on bail for a July 19 appearance in Northern Carroll County District Court in North Conway."

My second thought is: "Ugh".

What's Wrong With This Picture?

I posted this comment on another blog, responding to a post in reference to the eminent domain bullshit ruling by the great minds of the supreme court.

But I also wanted to put it out here.

Property is property, right?
Any personal posession is part of your property. Land, house, car, gun, ...

The constitution suffered another kick in the nuts in this case, and people are totally up in arms about it (including me). I have yet to hear of anyone 'for' this decision, except 5 supreme court morons, and the muffled roar of an indeterminate number of developers everywhere stifling moans whilst creaming their jeans.

Funny though, how a big chunk of the population thinks it's okay to step all over the second ammendment trying to take away other personal property which we have a right to own.

I guess it's all acceptable as long as it's for the good of the public.

Sounds like it's time to put a Ten Commandments plaque in the front yard, paint a flag on the roof, sit there with my guns and wait for 'the man' to come and take try to take my home.


Allah be praised.


Update: I wish him the best of luck:

Weare, New Hampshire (PRWEB) Could a hotel be built on the land owned by Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter? A new ruling by the Supreme Court which was supported by Justice Souter himself itself might allow it. A private developer is seeking to use this very law to build a hotel on Souter's land.
[. . .]
The proposed development, called "The Lost Liberty Hotel" will feature the "Just Desserts Café" and include a museum, open to the public, featuring a permanent exhibit on the loss of freedom in America. Instead of a Gideon's Bible each guest will receive a free copy of Ayn Rand's novel "Atlas Shrugged."
[. . .]

Mouth; meet foot.

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Hi! My name's Lily, wanna see me nude? asynchrony"

Sure. Why not.

Just Wondering

So if you paint the American flag on your roof, would that keep your house from being bulldozed due to eminent domain?

Mixed Emotions

I'm not sure where I stand on this:

Man sentenced to have eyes gouged out in Iran

Amnesty International is calling for a sentence of eye gouging against a man in Iran not to be carried out. The 28-year-old man, known only as Vahid, has been sentenced to have his eyes surgically gouged out for a crime committed when he was 16 years old.

In the first couple paragraphs, I shuddered a little thinking about how horrible it would be to feel the dread of knowing you are going to lose your sight. You will never see again at all. You'll be put under, and awake a short time later totally blind.
Totally inhumane, sick, barbaric. Crazy rag-headed fuckers are up to their shit again.

Then I went on to read the rest of the article:

[snip]
According to Iranian press reports, Vahid was convicted of deliberately pouring acid from a battery on the face of another youth, Gholam-Hossein, blinding him. This took place in 1993, when Vahid had been working as a labourer in the capital, Tehran.

Vahid reportedly maintained throughout his trial that the attack was not intentional and that he had only meant to threaten the youth with the battery during an argument, but the battery�s lid had opened accidentally, causing the injury.
. . .

I wasn't there, I don't know if it was deliberate or an accident. But if it were truly deliberate, he deserves to have it done. Too bad more courts in this country don't feel the same way sometimes.

If it was an accident, well, the stupid shit shouldn't have been meesing around with a battery full of acid because accidents do happen. He may feel bad about it, but I don't think the victim will care how many times he hears "I'm sorry", he'll never see again.

It sounds like 'An eye for an eye' may very well be justified here.


via Release the Hounds

Fishing Funny

Twenty Differences between fishing and sex

#20 - No matter how much whiskey you've had, you can still fish.

#19 - A limp rod is still useful while fishing.

#18 - You don't have to hide your fishing magazines.

#17 - It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to fish with you once in a while.

#16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything against fishing.

#15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you fishing, you don't have to worry about them showing up

on the Internet if you become famous.

#14 - Your fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago.

#13 - It's perfectly respectable to fish with a total stranger.

#12 - When you see a really good fishing person, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you fishing together.

#11 - If your regular fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you fish with someone else.

#10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you fish by yourself.

#9 - When dealing with a fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.

#8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy fishing stuff.

#7 - You can have a fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to fish with you

without getting sued for fishing harassment.

#6 - There are no fishing-transmitted diseases.

#5 - If you want to watch fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.

#4 - Nobody expects you to fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.

#3 - Nobody expects you to give up fishing if your partner loses interest in it.

#2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity, fishing.

#1 - Your fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just fished last week! Is fishing all you ever think about?"

Quote of the Day

Always remember:

A good friend will help you move.
A real good friend will help you move a body.

Author unknown. At least by me.

From The 'DUH!' Files

Snow says oil prices hurting economy-CNBC:

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Record high oil prices are beginning to take their toll on the U.S. economy, but not enough to halt or reverse the recovery, U.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow said on Tuesday.

'Energy prices are way too high,' Snow said on CNBC television. 'Clearly, it's hurting.'"

Wow! That dude is right on top of things. I think I heard something along those lines back in oh, October was it?

I'm sure once we kick Iraq's ass and steal all their oil we'll be in good shape though. We'll bomb a few more mosques and kill some innocent civilians. That's what it's all about, right?

If you answered "Yes", go to Home Depot and see if they still have any glass bellybuttons.

Spam Subject of the Day

"With know it runny bespoken"

Sounds like you're talking out your ass.

Social Tips for Rednecks

In General...

• Never take a beer to an interview.
• Always identify people in your yard before shooting them.
• It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
• If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
• Even if you're certain that you're included in the will, it's rude to drive a U-haul to the funeral.

Dining Out

• When decanting the wine from the box, make sure you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to 'bruise' the fruit of the wine.
• If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your hands.

Entertaining in your home

• A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
• Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are.

Personal Hygiene

• While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this job should be done in private using one's own truck keys.
• Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of money.
• Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.
• Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to distract from a woman's jewelry, and alter the taste of finger foods.

Dating (outside the family)

• Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
• Be assertive, Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the bathroom walls two years ago."
• Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM. Others might say "Monday," If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

Theater Etiquette

• Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
• Refrain from talking to the characters on the screen. Tests have proven that they can't hear you.

Weddings

• Livestock, usually is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
• Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds might get you shot.
• For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
• Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

Driving Etiquette

• Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
• When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires does not always have the right of way.
• Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
• When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
• Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral possession

House Votes Against United Airlines Pension Default

From Roto-Reuters:

"The U.S. House of Representatives voted on Friday to block bankrupt United Airlines from defaulting on its pension plans and shifting them to the nation's pension insurer, the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp. (PBGC)."

I persoanlly think it Enron should be illegal for a company Enron to even have the ability Enron to default on a major obligation Enron like this.

There you are, after working for years at a company, thinking you've paid your dues and have your retirement, only to find out that you're now poor. You have nothing coming to you.

Hey, it's a competitive world. If you can't make it, then fold. Sell your airplanes to pay off your debts. Quit asking the government to bail you out.

It should be illegal to screw all the people who have already earned their money so the big execs at the airline can still have their salaries, their benefits, their perks, their bonuses, . . . To the tune of millions of dollars a year.

But then, I have a computer degree not a business or government degree. What the hell do I know?

You Mean Rape Isn't Always Proper?

Good news from the middle east:

When Mukhtaran Mai, a simple, uneducated peasant of a small village, was gang raped on the orders of a local council, her life was supposed to be over. In Pakistan's tribal and feudal culture, rape victims are usually ostracized. But Ms. Mai refused to back down, dedicating her life to social work and to changing attitudes about women.

"I had only three choices. Either to commit suicide by jumping in a well or shed tears all my life like any other victim in such cases. Or I could challenge the cruel feudal and tribal system and harsh attitudes of society," says Mai in a phone interview with the Monitor.

For three years, Mai has been fighting an uphill battle for justice against the culprits. Monday she is set to appear in Pakistan's Supreme Court to seek punishment for 12 men, including four alleged rapists. Lower courts put one of her attackers behind bars for life, but five other convicted men were freed on appeal because of a "lack of sufficient evidence."

I'm glad to hear about this. At least one woman over there realizes this sort of shit is wrong and is doing something about it. But I'm sure we'll hear about her dead in the gutter before long, a bullet hole in her head. Fucking moron towel headed 'Tribal Elders '. Yeah, they know what's best.

I wish her the best of luck.

Straight Pride Day(s)

I missed it. Again this year.

Evidently, June 9th is 'Straight Pride' day. But then, I guess I have 364 days to celebrate Straight Pride. Sort of like a Happy Unbirthday, huh?

I'm a breeder. But I don't feel compelled to 'celebrate' that situation.

Just sayin'.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Go all night!"

Where?