A Brief Conversation With The Candidates

Dubya: "Hey Laura, get McCain and Hussein on the phone, would'ja? I want a conference call. See if I can get these two together and work out this bailout bullshit."

Laura: "Sure hun. "

[ring]....[ring]...

John: "Hello?"

Laura: "Hey John. George wants a conference call with y'all and Barack. Will y'all hold on while I ring him up?"

John: "Sure thing. I'll wait."

[ring]....[ring]...

B.O.: "Hello?"

Laura: "Hey. George wants a conference call with y'all and John."

B.O.: "I think it's important that we as Americans have open channels of communication..."

Laura: "Uh, yeah. Hold on please."
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[click]...[click]
Laura: "Okay George, they're on..."

Dubya: "Okay dear. Thanks."

Dubya: "Okay guys, here's the deal. Y'all know what's going on with the economy right now. We're getting together later on to work this shit out and since one of y'all will be in my position in a few months, I think y'all need to be in on it too. Get an idea of what it's about. What needs to be done. Take some time and listening to these financial wizzes 'fore things get nucular."

John: "I agree. I'll suspend my campaigning for now and get on over to Washington as soon as I can."

B.O.: "It's important to be able to multi-task. Do more than one thing at a time. America needs to change. Let's talk about change. I won't suspend my campaign. I will multi-task..."

Dubya: "Uh, okay. Does that mean y'all 're going to show up, Barack?"

B.O.: "Change. That's what America needs. I'll try and make it, right after I change."

John: "I want to get there and see what I can do to help. I may not make it to the debate tomorrow night..."

B.O.: "I'll be at the debate with or without you John. We need change. And I'm the one who'll talk about that change. We as future leaders need discuss the issues at hand. We need to talk about this bailout and the economy, and what needs to be done. We need to be able to solve our problems and still be able to talk about what we want to do. We need to multi-task."

John: "Well, I think that a good leader needs to focus on the needs of the country and not be as concerned with popularity at the moment. We need to get together and fix the problem not go to some college and 'talk' about what we intend to do."

B.O.: "And that's what I will do. Right after I talk about how I'm going to make a change, I'll talk about fixing the economy. Change. That's it."

Dubya: "Okay boys. Pipe down now. This is a real important item on the minds of the American people. They all 're looking to us to get it fixed."

John: "I'll be there for the meeting, Mr. President. For you and for the United States. I want to help fix it, not talk about it."

B.O.: "Change! We can't afford more of the same!"

Dubya: "What the hell are y'all yapping about? Y'alls party is running the show. They're the majority. They made the promises. If y'all do end up as president - God help us all - I hope y'all grow some stones and see that they do what they promised the American people."

B.O.: "Oh yes. There will be change. I've said it before. We can't afford more of the same. We need ch-"

John: "GOOD GAWD-A-MIGHTY! Would you shut the hell up!"

Dubya: "Okay then. I'll see y'all later."

[click]
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