Ask The Curmudgeon

DEAR CURMUDGEON: I am a 58-year-old woman who has just been dumped by my 55-year-old boyfriend for a younger woman. She is 18, and if that isn't bad enough -- she's my daughter. They are now living together.

For more than a year we functioned as a family. We had regular game nights and took a family vacation together. Because of their betrayal, I have lost my daughter, my boyfriend, the two people I thought were also my best friends, and my family all at the same time. I don't know anyone who has had this happen to them, but unfortunately there must be some out there.

How do I go on? How do I maintain a relationship with my daughter when she is living with my ex-boyfriend? How do I accept what has happened without approving of it? There is so much wrong with this I'm at a loss for rules or tools to handle it.
-- IN CRUSHING PAIN IN OREGON

DEAR CRUSHING PAIN IN THE ASS: So what you're saying you couldn't keep up with your daughter in the sack. He dumped your ass for some younger pussy, obviously because you suck. What other departments are you inferior in besides the bedroom, the kitchen? The yard work?

All I can suggest is that you should hit them up for a threesome. See what she does better than you and take some lessons. Maybe when you get your next boyfriend you won't fuck things up.

-- CURMUDGEON

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