18 Ways To Be A Good Liberal

This came to me in an email. Read, enjoy, chuckle, gag:

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th- graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

18. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Oops, can't do that either!

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Spam Subject of the Day

"Trojan Latex Condoms On Us"

On you?
Why would I want used rubbers?




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Watch Yer Eyes!

Not so much NSFW as ... well, you shouldn't stare at the sun either. Can't say I didn't warn you:


[+/-] show/hide - You're sure now?




Yes, you can click it to make it bigger. As if...


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Scarred For Life?

I have two words for you poor widdle picked on 'hos' at Rutgers who said you would be "scarred for life":
Fuck off.

You shits make me sick.

You want to see scarred for life? Take a look at Virginia Tech. That name calling shit Imus spewed at you doesn't even come close to the scars VT kids are going to wear the rest of their lives. At least the ones still able to go through life.

Fucking pussies. Go cry your blues on their shoulders and see what sort of sympathy they give you in return.



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Definition of Globalization

Got this from an email:

Finally, a definition of globalization I can understand and to which I can relate:

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was drunk on
Scottish whisky, followed closely by
Italian Paparazzi, on
Japanese motorcycles; treated by an
American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by a Canadian, using
American (Bill Gates') technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that uses
Taiwanese chips, and a
Korean monitor, assembled by
Bangladeshi workers in a
Singapore plant, transported by
Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by
Indonesians, unloaded by
Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by
Mexican illegals.....


That, my friends, is Globalization!

So simple.




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They Have The Right Idea

Belgian firm says speak Dutch or be fired

Reuters - 2 hours, 7 minutes ago

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - A Belgian auto parts supplier has forbidden its workers to speak any language other than Dutch, even during their lunch break, and employees could be fired if they disobey.
[...]

Good gawd. Would I ever love to see Americans say "Speak English or...".

It will never happen, but I can dream.




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Sacré Bleu!!!

Blasts hit SW France overnight, no injuries

BORDEAUX, France (Reuters) - Simultaneous explosions occurred overnight in two towns in the southwest of France near the Spanish border, causing some damage to buildings but no casualties, a police source said on Thursday.
[...]

Get zee cheese! We muzt run for zee life!!!

I'm going out on a limb here, but do you think it may have been some of those peaceful Islams playing with explosives again?

...an estimated 5 million Muslims in France.

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Shout Out Update

I got a reply from Big "D", and here's what he had to say about your comments:

I'm all over Dave's blog and appreciate the good wishes and ass whooping comments. I'm not able to blog post [snip] , but please pass my thanks and a hearty HOORAA WILL DO.

"D"
Serving Proud…Serving Payback

I have a few other sentiments in queue, but I won't put them out until "D" edits and gives me the go-ahead.
But take my word for this: No matter what the Hitlerys or the Harry Reids say, good things are happening in Afghanistan and in Iraq too. Our people over there are doing a good thing, and thanks to the lop-sided coverage much of the rest of the world will never know about it.




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A Funny

Via email again. An oldy but a goody worth reposting:

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise, it was total peace and quiet.

After about six months of almost total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and a huge, bearded man was standing there.

"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a party Friday night...thought you might like to come. About 5:00."

"Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

As Lars left, he stopped. "Gotta warn you......be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again, the big man started to leave and stopped. "More'n likely gonna be some fightin', too."

"Well, I get along with people; I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again."

"More'n likely be some wild sex, too!"

"Now that's really not a problem," says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

Don't much matter ..... Just gonna be the two of us."

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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Righteous photon"

As opposed to an unrighteous photon?

I'm confused.



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Big Bag O' Shit

Seems the thing a blogger does when they ain't got jack shit to say, is something along the lines of "Got Nuttin'". So here's a "Got Nuttin'" post for you.

I ain't got a damn thing to say. So I won't say anything. You can read along all you want, but you won't find anything of any substance in this entire post. I really don't have anything noteworthy I want to write about, so all this post is about is really nothing at all. Just ramblings.
I could just not post at all. Just shut my trap and save you the trouble of reading the post. After all, when you get to the end of it, you're going to say something like "Why in theeee hell did I waste my time reading this post? Good gawd. What a dipshit

But I will throw in a phunny. Actually, a couple:









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Quote Of The Day

From some random blog somewhere, the blogger was referring to something stupid he was reading:

"I laughed until I cried...and then realized I need a life."

BWAH!



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A Shout Out

This post will stay on top for several days, so cruise on down yonder for updates.

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Big 'D' - a good friend of mine in the Air Force - is on his way to Afghanistan today.

Big apology 'D', I thought you were leaving next Wednesday and was going to give you a verbal holler before you took off. Hopefully, this is second best, since I know you pop in here now and then.

Anyway, my best wishes to you and your family (wife and son) while you're away.


Note: If you happen to see a pale looking guy around 6'6" tall, sporting a skunk-striped beard with a bedsheet wrapped around his head and walking with a cane, send him to Allah for me, will you? And the more pieces Allah has to gather up and puzzle back together, the better.




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Quote Of The Day

From Steve:

"Here's a question for all the damp, limp, hand-wringing ninnies who think guns should be banned on college campuses. If you were in a classroom with Cho Seung-Hui at the door, trying to force his way in so he could shoot you and eight or nine of your friends, would you want a gun or not?

Right."

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Spam Subject Of The Day

" I wonder if the entire moon has been reworked."

Yeah, you and me both pal.

You and me both.




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A Giggle

This gave me a giggle:





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Shut Up And Drive

Airport hits cabbies for refusing fares

AP - Mon Apr 16, 6:51 PM ET Sent 189 times

MINNEAPOLIS - Taxi drivers who refuse service to travelers carrying alcohol at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport face tougher penalties despite protests from Muslim cabbies who sought a compromise for religious reasons, officials said Monday.
[...]

Simple. Camel fuckers have a choice. Take the job or not. They don't want to haul someone with booze in their possession or on their breath they can go buy a 7-Eleven or a cheap motel. They don't have to drive a cab.

I would rather someone take a cab than drive a car if they've been partying it up. I guess those muslim fucks would rather they didn't.

Fuck you. Go back to the desert. You probably can't drive worth a shit anyway.




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Obligitory Virginia Tech Post

This episode - as sad, sick, disgusting and stupid as it is - will get beat to death by the news and bloggers for quite some time. So I'll get my thoughts out there and move on:

• That Fucking non-American moron was a nut. No matter how much the media tries to disparage guns in the coming months or years, those guns didn't pull their own triggers.
• And no, they weren't "assault" weapons.
• It's a lot easier for idiots and criminals to buy guns illegally when they're banned than it is for honest, law-abiding citizens to get them.
  
• If there would have been more armed citizens such as trained faculty, staff, or maybe even students (Virginia is a 'Right to issue' state, Virginia Tech forbids guns), the idiot wouldn't have had to take his own life and wouldn't have taken so many innocents with him.
• Folks can bitch all they want about the failings of the campus authorities and how they didn't shut the place down fast enough. But you can prepare for an invasion all you want and the enemy within will still utilize shortcomings.
  
• Especially when they know they will meet up with no resistance.
  

Now don't get me wrong, I don't think we need to revert back to the wild west where everyone has a hog-leg strapped on and hanging low but here is a fact: We live in a different world today than when I was growing up. It is a more dangerous world. Kids are not just packing books, pencils and cell phones to class any more. They are also carrying guns, knives and drugs to class. And you'll have to trust me on this because it may come as a shock: A lot of those guns were acquired illegally.
"Gasp!" you say? Well, it's true. Bad guys have guns. And they know that most other people don't have them because the government says they can't have them. So people are getting hurt and killed by other people shooting at them who know they don't have to worry about dodging a bullet coming back at them.

Back when I was a young strappin' lad, I had a rifle hanging on the gun rack in my truck most of the time. No, it wasn't for protection, it was there because now and then I would get the itch to go to the junkyard and shoot some bottles, cans, or whatever else I could find. A fair amount of my friends had one too. The school authorities had no problem with a gun in the car. They knew I wasn't stupid enough to take it out on school property and shoot it.

I also carried a knife in my pocket. This knife wasn't there for protection or aggression. It was there because I may need to use it. And I did need to use it many times. As a tool. I used it in shop class, camping, fishing, cutting a piece of rope or string, cutting a willow, ... Keeryst! I even used it to trim my fingernails.

But I never even considered taking the gun or the knife out in anger. If one kid in school had an issue with another kid in school, they would meet in the parking lot after school and resolve their differences. Worst case scenario, 'coach' would make them put on the gloves and duke it out during P.E. Neither would have even considered using a weapon.

But like I said, it's a different world now. People are going to have to come up with a different mindset, and handle situations a a little differently now. It's time to stop fucking around a treating people with kid gloves and get out of the habit of implementing more useless laws trying to make everyone equals. Kids and adults as well need to be recognized for their superior achievements and punished for their fuck-ups. The sooner people find out there are repercussions for their bad behaviors, the sooner they will find out about real life.

Okay, that's enough for now. I feel better.




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Spam Subject Of The Day - DRAFT

" Take your dick to the next level"

So what am I supposed to say to that?





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Spam Subject Of The Day

Say "I can have sex all night long"!

Yeah, maybe a few years ago. Not any more.




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