Another Funny

I giggled out loud when I saw this PS pic:

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BWAH!!!

Stolt from Mr. Schlong



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Just Because It Made Me Laugh

And because I hate cats.

Clickety....[Very SFW]

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Phunny

This cracked me the hell up. Yes, it is SFW:




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Quote of the Day

Someone sent me this picture in an email:




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It's V.D. Again

Once again, I'm too lazy to make another Valentine's Day post. So here's a rerun:

It's almost valentine's day everyone! So get an early start and make your own Valentine candies!!!

Here are my contributions:

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BWAH!!!

That's all I got to say about that.



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I've Been Having Some Fun

Over here.
Go check it out. It's a pick-up line generator.

• "If you won't fuck me, can I fuck you?"
• "Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?"
• "I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight."

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I Don't Care Who Y'are...

Tha's funny:

Nude maid accused of really cleaning up

Wed May 28, 10:38 PM ET

TAMPA, Fla. - A nude maid is accused of really cleaning up at a Florida man's home. The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said a 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet on Friday to clean his Tampa home.
[...]

Now on the surface, the poor bastard got shafted by the maid, no doubt. But it gets better:

When the man's wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom.

BWAAAAHHHH!!! "Look honey, I had someone clean the house so it would be all spic and span when you got home!"

"Nice. Thank you dear! But...where's my jewelry?"

"Uh, the real question is, where did she hide it?"


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How True

Via email:

Quarterback for the Packers...

In a news conference Deanna Favre announced she will be the starting QB for the Packers this coming Sunday. Deanna asserts that she is qualified to be starting QB because she has spent the past 16 years married to Brett while he played QB for the Packers. During this period of time she became familiar with the definition of a corner blitz, and is now completely comfortable with other terminology of the Packers offense. A survey of Packers fans shows that 50% of those polled supported the move.

Does this sounds idiotic and unbelievable to you? Well, Hillary Clinton makes the same claims as to why she is qualified to be President and 50% of democrats polled agreed. She has never run a City or County, and most of her time as Senator has been running for office. When told Hillary Clinton has experience because she has 8 years in the white house, Dick Morris stated "so has the pastry chef".

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Quote Of The Day

"There's nothing quite like telling adolescent girls that they don't need to worry about finances since they have their very own moneypot between their legs,"

Made by Jessica Valenti, the executive editor of Feministing.com, in this news piece.

Yeah, they'll learn fast enough as it is.

Fucking BWAH!!!




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A Funny

I stumbled upon this picture somewhere:



BWAH!!!!



Actual source story if you're not familiar...



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Halloween zombie mistaken for murder victim

Reuters - 1 hour, 25 minutes ago

BERLIN (Reuters) - Passengers on a German train mistook a Halloween reveller dressed up as a gore-covered zombie for a murder victim and called the police.
[...]

Congrats dude. You must have done a bang-up job on your make-up!




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Phunnies

Some oldies but goodies:

Q- How many men does it take to open a beer?
A- None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Q- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A- Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Q- Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A- It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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Q- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A- When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
-------------- -----------------------------------------------------
Q- How do you fix a woman's watch?
A- You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Q- Why do men pass gas more than women?
A- Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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Q- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A- The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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Q- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A- A woman who won't do what she's told
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Q- Why do men die before their wives?
A- They want to.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

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Coupla Phunnies

Ain't it the truth...:



BWAH!:




Sorry. No real content yet. Maybe later.




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My Hero

Now THAT's a beer gut:


I have a lot of money invested in my beer gut, but I have a long way to go to catch up to this dude.




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Yeah, That'll Work

Now that we've solved all the other pressing problems of the world:

Cities cracking down on saggy pants

AP - Sun Sep 16, 2:35 PM ET Sent 193 times

TRENTON, N.J. - It's a fashion that started in prison, and now the saggy pants craze has come full circle — low-slung street strutting in some cities may soon mean run-ins with the law, including a stint in jail.
[...]

Well, I like the idea anyway. That shit makes the wearer look like a fucking idiot.

But I Gallagher said it best: (Loosely quoted) "It's hard to make people think you're not full of shit, when your pants look otherwise."



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A Short Course In Creative Writing

Judy, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: "Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889."

Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton for comments. Hillary's staff of professional image adjusters cropped Remus's picture, scanned it, enlarged the image, and edited it with image processing software so all that's seen is a head shot.

The accompanying biographical sketch is as follows: "Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

And THAT is how it's done folks!



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A Funny

This cracked me the hell up.

Go ahead, click on it. It will open in a new window.

"God's Inbox"

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What Happens Here Stays Here

If you google "infectious diseases", and the name of a town, you should get a result from the ever helpful AOL akin to this:


BWAH!!!

In case you were wondering, the Amargosa Valley is located in a county where prostitution is legal, and is home to several whore houses.


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