Ask The Curmudgeon

Say Cheese . . . But Keep Your Clothes On

Thu Nov 8, 2:00 AM ET

DEAR CURMUDGEON: I recently broke up with my boyfriend of four years. We parted on good terms and remain friends. Once, when we were intimate, we captured ourselves on film, with the understanding that the pictures would be promptly deleted. He assured me he had done this. Occasionally, when he goes away on business trips, I'll check on his house and cat for him. I've done this for years . . . checked his mail, fed the cat. Recently, I don't know what compelled me, but I began to search specifically for those photos. I found them, along with others (not me). I was hurt, shocked, mad -- everything at once.

I have not told him I know about them, and I actually left them as I found them. I'm torn between taking them and destroying them, or leaving them and pretending I didn't see them. I don't want him to feel I violated his privacy, yet I definitely want them gone and I'd like to tell him where they went. I'm afraid to have them around, and the agreement was that they would be destroyed.

What's the right thing to do?

--- CHAGRINED AND DISAPPOINTED

Well now, Ms C and D. The biggest issue I see here is the cat. By virtue of him having a cat, he is a moron. And you are a moron for taking care of it. You shouldn't be going over there in the first place. Take a dog with you next time and have it chase the cat off. That way, he won't even need you to go check on his house, and you won't have to look at the pictures of him with other wimmin.

Now since we've already established you're a moron, you should have known that A) he wouldn't delete the pictures. What guy in their right mind would after all? And B) there would be pictures of other wimmin on his computer. I mean, he is a guy, right?

Now the best thing you could do with those pictures is send them to me. You can then delete them if you really want to, but that's only optional. If he has any sense at all, he has already backed them up or uploaded them some place, so deleting them would probably be a waste of time anyway. You can even tell him you sent them to me if you want, no matter. Anyway, I'll be sure and see to it they're properly posted on the internet taken care of though.

Another option is to just make yourself a blog and post them. It always makes people feel better when they post nude pictures of themselves.

Anyway, there is plenty of whack off material free for the taking out there, your pictures included. He can find plenty of other pictures on Gore's innernet with which he can make himself squirt all over his chest, so go ahead and send those to me whether you delete them or not. I'll look after them for you.



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