DEAR CURMUDGEON: I don't want to make my friend "Ryan" mad, but he does something that makes me feel weird. When we go to the mall to hang out, he always wants to go to the big stores. You know those dummies on display wearing clothes? Well, Ryan likes to feel them up! He thinks it's cool to go up to a female dummy and feel her breasts.Well, Billy. You should take a clue and join in.
When he does it, he giggles. People stare and I have to leave. I told Ryan I don't like it. He says, "Whatever ..."
Ryan is my best friend. Is what he does natural for a 13-year-old? I like looking at real girls on the beach. He says that's boring, and he'd rather feel up the store dummies. What's up with that? What should I do? -- BILLY IN GALVESTON
There's nothing wrong getting a little feel now and then. At least feeling up dummies instead of real girls won't get you slapped.
Oh sure, you may get cuffed and hauled out by the mall cops, but all you have to do then is point out that they are doing the same shit after hours when all the stores are closed. They'll understand.
Who knows? You may even get lucky and one of them will let you take their own special dummy home. You know, the one they have tucked away back there in the storage room.
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