Phunnies

Some oldies but goodies:

Q- How many men does it take to open a beer?
A- None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Q- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A- Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Q- Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A- It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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Q- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A- When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
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Q- How do you fix a woman's watch?
A- You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Q- Why do men pass gas more than women?
A- Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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Q- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A- The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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Q- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A- A woman who won't do what she's told
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Q- Why do men die before their wives?
A- They want to.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

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