Anyone Read The Fucking Stimulus Bill Yet?

The complete text is here, here, here, here, and here.
Good luck.

Here's an excerpt:

For an additional amount for the cost of broadband loans and loan guarantees, as authorized by the Rural Electrification Act of 1936 (7 U.S.C. 901 et seq.) and for grants (including for technical assistance), $2,500,000,000: Provided, That the cost of direct and guaranteed loans shall be as defined in section 502 of the Congressional Budget Act of 1974: Provided further, That, notwithstanding title VI of the Rural Electrification Act of 1936, this amount is available for grants, loans and loan guarantees for broadband infrastructure in any area of the United States: Provided further, That at least 75 percent of the area to be served by a project receiving funds from such grants, loans or loan guarantees shall be in a rural area without sufficient access to high speed broadband service to facilitate rural economic development, as determined by the Secretary of Agriculture: Provided further, That priority for awarding such funds shall be given to project applications for broadband systems that will deliver end users a choice of more than one service provider: Provided further, That priority for awarding funds made available under this paragraph shall be given to projects that provide service to the highest proportion of rural residents that do not have access to broadband service: Provided further, That priority shall be given for project applications from borrowers or former borrowers under title II of the Rural Electrification Act of 1936 and for project applications that include such borrowers or former borrowers: Provided further, That priority for awarding such funds shall be given to project applications that demonstrate that, if the application is approved, all project elements will be fully funded: Provided further, That priority for awarding such funds shall be given to project applications for activities that can be completed if the requested funds are provided: Provided further, That priority for awarding such funds shall be given to activities that can commence promptly following approval: Provided further, That no area of a project funded with amounts made available under this paragraph may receive funding to provide broadband service under the Broadband Technology Opportunities Program: Provided further, That the Secretary shall submit a report on planned spending and actual obligations describing the use of these funds not later than 90 days after the date of enactment of this Act, and quarterly thereafter until all funds are obligated, to the Committees on Appropriations of the House of Representatives and the Senate.

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