"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Presidential Seal?

Last week was crazy busy. As you probably noticed, I barely posted anything more than the "Spam Subject of the Day". So far, the week is much better in that I can at least sit and lick my ass a bit. So that being the case, I'll fill you in on a dream I had last week.

My dreams are usually quite vivid. I can usually wake up in the morning and remember most of them, down to details you would normally only realize if you were to actually stop what you're doing, look around, and actually think about your surroundings rather than thinking about the task at hand.

Try it sometime. Right now while you're reading this, look to your right. What do you see? What do you smell? Hear?
Now look left. Same thing. Look at everything. Notice and itemize every object. Use your senses.
You would be surprised at how many things you overlook or ignore in a day that come back to you later.

Anyway, back to the dream. It had to be some sort of subconscious message. Some sort of inner stream of consciousness I had. Some people say dreams are precognitions, others say they are our brains' way of taking out the days mental trash. A release if you will.

I'm thinking this one was a sort of subliminal w.t.f.

Anyway, I'm sort of a handyman. I have no trouble fixing broken shit around the house, building, or just making things from scratch. And my neighbors have in the past, asked me to come over and help them fix something in their house. Put up a shelf or door, replace a water heater, whatever. So it came as no surprise to me in my dream, when I heard a knock on the door and my neighbor - Obama - [That's right, Obama] asked me to come help him fix his leaky roof.

I had this thought of "Damn! He's my neighbor?". My thought was, shit. Obama lives next door. My next thought was 'well, he is the President of the U.S., and he lives next door. What are the odds?'.

Although I was apprehensive, not sure if I would want to get involved in helping fix this leaky roof. I thought that I would either fix it and all would be well, or it would continue to leak and I would be scoffed at for not doing a a good job.

I decided that if I did make an attempt, the worst that would happen is it would still leak. It wouldn't be any worse off than it was now, it wasn't my fault it was leaking in the first place, and what the hell. I'd give it a try. Help out my neighbor.

[Good gawd. I sound like a democrat]

So I follow him outside, where it is raining quite hard, and over to his house so he could show me where the leak was. As we were walking down the hallway, he cocked his leg and let a huge, rather juicy and smelly fart. Turning back in my direction, he let out a wide grin and chuckled. I told him I wasn't going to follow him if he was going to keep that shit up.
He just laughed as guys do, and said something like "Bah, just deal with it!".

[If you follow the guy, you're going to get shit on?]

So while holding my breath, we walk to where the leaks are. There are several secret service agents analyzing the torrential drips in the ceiling in the room below the bad roof. Chatting back and forth on walkie-talkies, dashing to and fro, creating quite a confused buzz. There were also a couple men from some roofing company who were also standing around gazing at the leaks, estimating damage, rummaging through their toolboxes, and chatting about what would need to be done, the cost of doing it.

[Joe the plumber reference?]

We were all getting soaked, the smell of wet wood, wet drywall and mold in the air. I told him that I didn't think I could just patch all the shit up and he would probably need to hire someone to come put a new roof on. "But that would cost the taxpayers a lot of money" says he.

[Yet another bailout]

I knew it could be patched, and did some hasty repair work on a small section of the ceiling. Yes, I repaired the ceiling, not the roof. But the small patch I repaired no longer leaked. I proved that I was able to make a repair, but also, that it would take many more repairs to stop the entire roof from leaking.

Soaked, proven and quite confident my work would last, I returned home.

[I didn't vote for the guy]

I woke up with the feeling I needed to move though.


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