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Friday, February 20, 2009

Nucking Futs

So, anyone hear about the monkey that went - well, ape-shit, and attacked a woman?

If not, it did. The nut in the article below had a chimpanzee who went crazier than a PETArd in a slaughterhouse and attacked her friend. I heard on the radio that the thing tore into her big time. Bit her ears off, bit her nose off, torn her jaw off, and pretty much ripped the rest off her face off too.

The woman beat the monkey with a shovel and stabbed it with a knife, but that wasn't good enough. So she calls 9-1-1, and while the critter is chewing on her friend, the cops show up. The ape doens't think much of the cops being there, so it tries to get into the passenger side of the cop car. When that fails, it goes around to the drivers side, opens the door and gets in. Officer Friendly then commences to fill the crazed thing full of lead.

Here's a little enlightenment as to the nuttiness of the owner:
Chimp in Conn. attack had unusual bond with owner
STAMFORD, Conn. – Travis the chimpanzee's relationship with his owner was closer than those of some married couples.

Sandra Herold gave him the finest food, and wine in long-stemmed glasses. They took baths together and cuddled in the bed they shared. Travis brushed the lonely widow's hair each night and pined for her when she was away.

If she left the house alone, Travis would give her a kiss.
[...]
Yeah, I wonder what else she did with "Travis" when no one was around.

For once though, I reckon pitbull owners are off the hook.



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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is too funny. Sad and disgusting, but your write-up is great!

--Jamie

curmudgeon said...

Exactly. Sad, disgusting, and just a little bit weird.

But thanks for the compliment, and for stopping by!