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Monday, March 02, 2009

Funny

Via email:
"YOU MAY BE TALIBAN JIHADIST IF..."

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your ass with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
Oh, and:
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide .. Let's see now:
  • No Jesus
  • No Christmas
  • No television
  • No cheerleaders
  • No Nude Women
  • No car races
  • No football
  • No golf
  • No tailgate parties
  • No K Mart
  • No Cabela's
  • No pork BBQ
  • No hot dogs
  • No burgers
  • No chocolate chip cookies
  • No lobster
  • No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks
  • No nachos
  • No Beer nuts
  • NO Beer !!!!!!!!
  • Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
  • Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors.
  • Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
  • More than one wife.
  • You can't shave.
  • Your wives can't shave.
  • You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel shit.
  • The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.
  • Your bride is picked by someone else.
  • She smells just like your donkey, but your donkey has a better disposition.
  • Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!
I mean, really, is there a mystery here?





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