Merry HoHo!!!

Well, here I am checking in again!

The countdown to Christmas, hustle/bustle, stores packed, all that shit. I'll stay away myself. I purchased what I needed to purchase already.
I'm just glad Christmas Day is on a weekend so we get a 3-day weekend out of the deal.

Now here is a re-post of one of my favorite pictures by Bev Dolittle.

"Christmas Day Give Or Take A Week"

Definitely click on the picture to use the embiggenator. This small size don't do it justice.

Also, a re-post of some funnies I stole a while back:

Stolen from The Real Lilley:

Christmas Songs For The Mentally Ill

SCHIZOPHRENIA

Do I Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER

We Three Queens Disoriented Are

DEMENTIA

I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas

NARCISSISTIC

Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

MANIC

Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and.....

PARANOID

Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.

PERSONALITY DISORDER

You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.

DEPRESSION

Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely.

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER

Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock,
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock ........
....(better start again)

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY

On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.

Have a Merry Christmas all, and my best to all of you!

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Hi Again!

Sorry Freddie. I know.

Well, here's another update.
We just got back from a vacation last week in sunny Florida. Good time.
Now it's a short week before turkey day!

Not much other than that to report on though. Work is busy, holidays coming, the world keeps turning.

Happy Thanksgiving all!

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Holy Shit! Who's This?

Can you believe it? I'm updating again!

I don't even know where I left off last time, but I do know that 'someone' checked in and gave me a "nudge". Hi there. :)

So... I am currently in Houston attending some schoolin'. Using my currently development environment, I am turning into a dinosaur. (For those who know anything about computer languages, think COBOL).
So I am learning some new technologies to send me into the 2000's.

The bad thing about this trip is that I was at our cabin in the mountains last Wednesday through Sunday, then had to shag-ass home Sunday morning to get to the airport on time to get on the plane to Houston that evening. Long day.

But trip to the mountains was good. Had some of my brothers up there to help me get firewood all cut up for the winter, played some cards, did some serious bullshitting, etc. Good time.

Well, time for a lunch break, then back to school.

HAVE FUN!


Update:
I thought of some things I should put in here, some thoughts on Houston.
Much different than where I live.
1- The people here are much friendlier. In person and in their cars. In person, they say "Hello". In their cars, they actually let you change lanes when you have your blinker on.

2- If you live here, XM or Sirius radio is a must. I scanned through oh, 20 stations of bible study and mexican music before I found one that was rock.

3- Humid. I am having a bad hair day.

4- They aren't all rednecks. In fact, I've seen very few Bubbas here.

5- Good food. I went to an excellent steak house Monday and a great Tex-Mex place last night. There's a seafood place on the way back to the hotel I may have to try tonight.

Okay, that's enough for now. Like I said, LATER!!!


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Time Flys / Flies

Or is it flies all the time?
Summer brings them by the tons. But at least I don't live close to a feed lot.

Speaking of summer, I took this picture of my dash on the way home from work yesterday.  Fucking heat is being obnoxious.

The good news is that I have On Star in my truck, and the On Star app on my phone. So while I was in the grocery store checkout line today, I used my telephone to start my truck so it would be all nice and cool by the time I got out to it. Cool truck = no melted ice cream! WOOHOO!

Anyway, how's everyone been?
I've still been slacking with the blog. I think of things, then forget them by the time I get here. I reckon they must not be that important.

Funny story though, Mrs Curmudgeon called me at work today to tell me the dogs had caught a rat in the back yard and had chewed its head off. She even sent me pictures. Well, it looks like a rat or maybe a gerbil, but one way or the other I'm guessing it was some kid's pet that escaped their pen and took a wrong turn. We just don't have rats around here.
By the way, "good doggie" to whoever caught it. And if you let me know which of you t was, there's an extra Milkbone in it for you. :)

Well, I guess that's it for today. TTYL!

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More News

So it's been quite a spell, eh?
All is well. I just don't really give a shit about posting blogs any more I reckon. Since I don't bitch about politics and the news much any more, I reckon there's not much to bitch about. Change the things you can, accept the things you can't, know the difference, all that shit.
Besides, I reckon I've gone to the dark side. I poke around on facebook much more than here. Those people from 20, 30, 40 years ago. It's like a time capsule sometimes.

So the news is (well, to some it's news, to others it's like "No Fucking Shit"), NASA has proven the "Global Warming™" is bullshit. That it has been a made up scare by do-gooder blowhards. Go read the news on Yahoo. I ain't going to bother with a link.

In other news, Mark came up for the weekend and us and 3 other guys took off to 'The Retreat' for a guy's weekend. Got plenty of poker, ATV riding, fishing, movies and adult beverages taken care of. A good time fer sher.

Quick question: Why is it that ... no, I ain't going there. No more political shit on this blog.

Okay then, I'm going to poke around and visit some of the regulars now. (Hi Freddie! Hi Jean! Hi Deb! Joe! Dennis! ...)

See y'all next time!

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Random Randomizations

WOOHOO!!! School's out! Now I don't have to keep slowing down for school zones, where there are no children going to school. It's just a 'zone'.

So how have you been?

Nothing exciting to report here, I just got bored with the blog. I figgered if I couldn't write anything that was even interesting to me, then no one else would be very interested either. Hence, no posts.
Don't worry, I still read a bunch of your blogs, and sometimes I even comment. But the daily stops have dwindled a bunch. Especially the political ones. Politics pisses me off too much. It's amazing how stupid elected officials are, and it's even more amazing how stupid the people who elected them must be to have elected them to those positions. So rather than just be upset with the majority of the population, I'll just study myself up for who I want, vote for them, and forget it.

I think I'll just concentrate on blogs with cute puppy themes. Maybe some crocheting related blogs. Those seem to be fairly mellow.

Yeah, right.

Anyway, gotta run. Got some work to do.

Have fun!




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Off To The Desert

I'm headed out of town for the weekend to visit a cactus dweller. You all know who he is. Hopefully, he stalked up on beer and chalk.

Tomorrow is supposed to be the end of the world. Are you all ready for the rapture?

You all have a weekend now!

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Royal Wedding

I don't give even the smallest of shits about it, but I do know the sounds heard from the honeymoon suite were along the lines of "The British are coming! The British are coming!"


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A Funny

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck."
 
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
 
"And you can talk!" Exclaims the barman.
 
"I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck.

"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
 
"Certainly, sorry about that," Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.

"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.  What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck.

"I'm a plasterer."
 
The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.
So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.
 
The same thing happens for two weeks..

Then one day the circus comes to town.
 
The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"
 
"Sounds marvelous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.

"Get him to give me a call."
 
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."
 
"I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck.

"Where is it?"

"At the circus," Says the barman.
 
"The circus?" Repeats the duck.
 
"That's right," Replies the barman.
 
"The circus?" The duck asks again. with the big tent?"
 
"Yeah," the barman replies.
 
"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.
 
Of course," the barman replies.
 
"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.
 
"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says
 
"What the fuck would they want with a plasterer??!"

Easter

So did you hear about the dude giving up food for lent? No joke, it's totally true.
He vowed that during lent, all he would consume is beer and water.
I think I like this guy.

In the meantime, a picture that has been floating around for a couple years:

I know, I know. Blasphemous. Oh well.

Happy Bunny Day everyone!  Now go grill some steaks, or maybe some pork chops.


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In Other News

Yup, I guess it's been long enough that I should put another post up here.

Starting to warm up around these parts. It's been in the mid 80's a few days.
That temp is nice. But it also means that summer is getting near, and well, fuck. I don't think I like the desert near as much as I used to.

Oh well. This is where the home is. This is where the job is. I reckon I'll stick around a spell.



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Home And Dry

Damn this "Global Warming™". It's preventing me from going to my home away from home this weekend. 2-4 feet of snow forecast.

Oh well. I guess it will be another weekend of working in the workshop, listening to the tunes, and chilling.

Life is good.

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Update Update

Well, that was fun.
Actually, we got back monday, but I've been too lazy to post anything.

A good trip though.
However, I would recommend to anyone that before going to Mickeyland, make sure there are NO FUCKING high school cheerleader championships happening the same time you are there.
I've never seen so many ornery, snotty, obnoxious, ugly, adolescent bitches in one place at the same time. They were like fucking cockroaches coming out of the walls. Every cafe, quickie-mart, store, ... everywhere.

Of course we went other places too. Beaches, tide pools full of critters, Newport, even saw the nuts at Venice beach. Good time.

Side note: I accidentally clicked the wrong button and deleted a whole bunch of your comments. So sorry. I wasn't being mean.

Oh, and Freddie/Rae Rae, I'm expecting an email as to where the fuck you went now.


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Another Update

Nothing special to report other than everything is just groovy.
Been busy at work, and I'm still waiting for the results of the quiz and the experiment.

We're off to see Mickey Mouse this weekend, so hopefully the weather will cooperate.

Have fun!


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A Quiz

This is an actual quiz a teacher gave to prospective psychology students.
See how you do:

Sexual Tension Quiz

Author unknown

1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes.
   When I'm not well, I drip.
   When you blow me, you feel good.
   What Am I?
2.  I'm spread before I'm eaten.
   Your tongue gets me off.
   People sometimes lick my nuts.
   What Am I?
   
3. I assist an erection.
   Sometimes big balls hang from me.
   I'm called a big swinger.
   What Am I?
   
4. Over 1,000 people went down on me.
   I wasn't maiden for long.
   A big hard thing ripped me open.
   What Am I?
   
5. You stick your poles inside me.
   You tie me down to get me up.
   I get wet before you do.
   What Am I?
   
6. When I go in I cause pain.
   I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow.
   I can fill your hole.
   What Am I?
   
7. A finger goes in me.
   You fiddle with me when you're bored.
   The best man always has me first.
   What Am I?
   
8. All day long, it's in and out.
   I discharge loads from my shaft.
   Both men and women go down on me.
   What Am I?
   
9. I go in hard.
   I come out soft.
   You blow me hard.
   What Am I?
   
10. If I miss, I hit your bush.
    It's my job to stuff your box.
    When I come, it's news.
    What Am I?
    
11. I offer Protection.
    I get the finger ten times.
    You use your fingers to get me off.
    What Am I?
12. I have a stiff shaft.
    My tip penetrates.
    I come with a quiver.
    What Am I?
    
13. My business is briefs.
    I am a cunning linguist.
    I plead and plead for it.
    What Am I?
    
14. I make some guys shoot in the air.
    I usually have a little pecker.
    I'm better in your hand than in your bush.
    What Am I?

Answers in comments  :)


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An Experiment

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Bullshit I Say

I disagree with Kay Jewelers.
I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.


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Fucking Kill Me Now

God damn Oscars and all their affiliated bullshit can go to fucking hell.

Good gad people. Get a fucking life.


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Well, Well

Here I am again. A joke yesterday and a real post today.

Nothing to discuss really though. I just figgered I better check up on things.

So what's going on? Have I missed anything?

Didn't think so.

Until later,


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Joke of the Day

Via email:

One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart-attack and dies.
He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on mylist, but I have no room for you.
You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.

In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Obama said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room.

In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder.
I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented Obama.

The devil opened a third door. Through it, Obama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Obama looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this."

The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

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That Damned Weather

I have to say, that even though I grew up high in the Rockies, where shitty weather like blizzards and 40 below was the norm, I don't miss it.
Sure, snow country has its advantages like skiing, snowmobiling, ice fishing, and so on. I always enjoyed that stuff when I lived there. But I've become somewhat accustomed to getting in the truck and driving to work without having to start it and let it warm up while scraping the windshields and shoveling the driveway.

Now it does get a bit chilly here, but 20's is easy to dress for as long as the wind ain't blowing.

So where is all this going? Nowhere. Just that it's supposed to be in the 60's here this weekend. So you folks north and east of the Grand Canyon? Bummer. Sucks to be you right now. ;)



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Another Post

I'm not sure why I even hang on to this blog, I don't really do any posting any more. I guess it's just one of those things like an old email address you hang on to for the hell of it.


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So Good To Be Back

The (ice) fishing trip was great again this year. We all had a good time.

Here are a few pics:

We caught more fish than that but it's a pain in the ass to upload using the method I'm using, so fuck it.

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It's Not Like There Has Been Anything Noteworthy Anyway

The world keeps on turning, I just haven't been talking about it.
So with that, I'll be even more absent that usual. I'll of town for a few days ice fishing.
You all have a good weekend now.



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Another Year

Just a quick note to let everyone know that yes, I'm just fine. Just a bit busy.

It is however, Mrs C's and my anniversary. Yup, 26 years.
So far so good!


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