The Articartus Connects To The Sansifran, Which Runs Through The Main Cogitator

Scientific Conference Falls for Gibberish Prank:

"A bunch of computer-generated gibberish masquerading as an academic paper has been accepted at a scientific conference in a victory for pranksters at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology."

Some excerpts from the paper:

"We consider an application consisting of n access points.
Next, the model for our heuristic consists of four independent components: simulated annealing, active networks, flexible modalities, and the study of reinforcement learning."
...

"Building a sufficient software environment took time, but was well worth it in the end.. We implemented our scatter/gather I/O server in Simula-67, augmented with oportunistically pipelined extensions.
Our experiments soon proved that automating our parallel 5.25 inch floppy drives was more effective than autogenerating them, as previous work suggested."
...

"Is it possible to justify the great pains we took in our implementation? It is. We ran four novel experiments:
(1) we dogfooded our method on our own desktop machines, paying particular attention to USB key throughput;
(2) we compared throughput on the Microsoft Windows Longhorn, Ultrix and Microsoft Windows 2000 operating systems;
(3) we deployed 64 PDP 11s across the Internet network, and tested our Byzantine fault tolerance accordingly; and
(4) we ran 18 trials with a simulated WHOIS workload, and compared results to our courseware simulation."
...

A lot of gold in that paper. Cracked me up. It's not that long of a read, but it is a bunch of babble.
Here's the full text. (PDF)

Update: Go here and automatically generate your own research paper.