"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Merry Christmas - Installment #15 Of A Christmas Related Series

CHRISTMAS COOKIE RECIPE

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Crown Royal Reserve

Sample the Crown to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Crown again, to be sure it is of the highest
quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Crown is still OK, try another cup.. just in case.

Turn off the mixer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the damn fruit up off floor...

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a dewscriver.

Sample the Crown to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a shit.

Check the Crown Royal.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of ar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window,

Finish the bottle of Crown Royal

Make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS!


4 comments:

Peggasus said...

Awwww, you beat me to it! I was going to do one like this too this week, except mine is for Rum Cake. It always cracks me up.

curmudgeon said...

So do it anyway!

Miss Sassy said...

Last year I got a similar FW: email with a tequila bottle to test... still has me peeing my pants before I can get to the end of it!!!

The cube dwellers are thinking I'm going nutty with giggles, I gotta go =)

curmudgeon said...

Te-kill-ya and Christmas just don't seem to go together.