Santa Claus and his sleigh have apparently been destroyed
Santa Claus was apparently shot down at 11:59 p.m. as he flew south near Moose Jaw Canada, December 24th, 2005. It is suspected a long range Iraqi missile guided by the intense light from the nose of the lead reindeer (Rudolph) apparently found and collided directly with its target. The resulting loss of control and crash scattered reindeer, presents and sleigh parts along a 25 mile corridor over 3 miles wide. No one on the ground was injured. The pilot of the sleigh has yet to be found.
Known also as Kris Kringle and Saint Nicholas, the "Jolly Old Elf" will apparently not be visiting homes this year. This could be the most striking blow to the human tradition of Christmas since the advent of the ACLU.
Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld has announced that the U.S. Government along with sevaral other North American and European nations who traditionally celebrate the Christmas season will perform a joint investigation to determine the exact cause and persons/parties responsible for this disaster, and the outcome will be distributed at the completion of this investigation.
The sleigh, operated by Santa Claus, was on it's annual trip around the world to deliver presents and good cheer to millions of families. It's journey began from the North Pole where earlier in the evening, after elves had filled the sleigh to capacity with it's yearly cargo, fog had moved in and caused a severe reduction in visibility. The reindeer however, were apparently hitched with the hope that the fog would not be an issue, due to the inclusion of a new lead reindeer (Rudolph) which has an nose apparently capable of penetrating fog, therefore allowing greater visibility.
At exactly 11:30 p.m., the sleigh had lifted off from the ice pack at the North Pole and had after circling once, risen above the fog cover which at first was thought to be a navigation problem. At 11:32, the sleigh then headed on a course due south toward Canada and the United States. At 11:37, NORAD began tracking the progress of the new 'blip' on it's radar at 111° W on a heading due south. At 11:57, as the sleigh approached the U.S.-Canadian border, the blip disappeared. There was no communication from the craft.
Well, maybe not. But one of the reasons "they" are "over there" is to keep things like this from happening.
Peace be with you all and have a Merry Christmas!
Now go have some fun with Santa.
Type in 'beer', 'piss', 'tree', whatever you can think of.
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