Pot; Meet Kettle

Day by Day Cartoon

So like I said, Monday is "Gringo de Mayo". You know, the big walkout/boycott/vacation day, etc.
What a bunch of bullshit.

But i've heard of several noteworthy things going on here in my town.
First of all, any employer with any sense has stated that anyone not showing up to work for their regularly scheduled shift on Monday will be terminated with no possibility of rehire. I say good for them. I could tolerate an adjustment to the policy to allow exceptions for someone with a doctor's note, but other than that, you would almost have to show me your casket with you in it.

Another thing happening here is workers at construction sites have been told by their mexican coworkers that if they show up for work Monday, they're dead. What sort of shit is that? Shit-can them on the spot. Or even the next day.

Rumor also has it there are going to be an additional 1000-1700 I.N.S. agents in town. Oh no, they won't be rousting at the rally, they'll be waiting when the ralliers leave. Then they'll get the shakedown. I love it! You have no proof of citizenship at that time, you get deported.
I would rather see them getting it on the way TO the rally. Otherwise, they'll have already been able to speak their miind, throw their tantrum and have their place in the limelight.

What this boils down to is a bunch of insolent cry-babies that need a fucking wake-up call. Protest all you want. But do it on your own time, and don't even think about interfering with my life or you will get shot.

Then get the fuck out of here.

Spam Subject of the Day

" hi Sweet heart"

Ahhh, Hello there!

Steaming Pile Of Shit

Ahhh. It's been a while, but this one just can't be passed up.

Neil Young has written a wonderful song named 'Impeach the President'.
Gee. I wonder what that's about?

First of all Neil, you're a fucking Canuk. Who the hell do you think you are to say jack shit besides just another idiot entertainer? You ain't shit, other than a dope smoking, braid-dead, liberal hippie and an unpatriotic, treasonous sperm-burper, left over from the sixties, spouting off the usual lefty bullshit. On top of that, you can't sing worth a shit. Your voice sucks.

Neil Young: Exclusive 'Impeach the President' Lyrics -

Let’s impeach the president for lying
And leading our country into war
Abusing all the power that we gave him
And shipping all our money out the door

He’s the man who hired all the criminals
The White House shadows who hide behind closed doors
And bend the facts to fit with their new stories
Of why we have to send our men to war

Let’s impeach the president for spying
On citizens inside their own homes
Breaking every law in the country
By tapping our computers and telephones

What if Al Qaeda blew up the levees
Would New Orleans have been safer that way
Sheltered by our government’s protection
Or was someone just not home that day?

Let’s impeach the president
For hijacking our religion and using it to get elected
Dividing our country into colors
And still leaving black people neglected

Thank god he’s cracking down on steroids
Since he sold his old baseball team
There’s lot of people looking at big trouble
But of course the president is clean

Thank God

Go back to Canada if you don't like it here you fucking moron. Southern Man Don't Need Him Around Anyhow.

Neil Young

You are a Steaming Pile of Shit

Gringo De Mayo

I moved this back up since I updated it. Scroll down for new stuff.

I can't seem to find any information on these world wide interwebs, but I hear there's a big celebration coming up.
Dubbed "Gringo de Mayo", it's a counter attack protest of illegal mexican protests.

From what I hear, there's supposed to be a work stoppage/walkout on May 1st, in a show of legal Americans voicing our stance on illegal immigration.

Let me know if you hear anything, ooohhhtaaaaay?

In the meantime, go get some classy clothing to wear to your walkout here.

Update: I guess there's no walkout by real Americans as a counter-protest. Just a walkout/stoppage/boycott by illegal immigrant supporters.
Get that? Illegal immigrants.
Hey Mr. INS guy. They will all be in one location. Shouldn't be too hard to round them up and deport them.

Fuck 'em. Let 'em walk. I can mow the lawn myself.

A Funny

Via email:

Let's compare the story of the "Titanic" with the book "My Life" by Bill Clinton.
Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.

Spam Subject of the Day

"good CtALnlS"

Your spelling is getting shittier by the day.

Now Taht's Phunny

Thanx Just D.

There's Money To Be Made Here, Dammit!

Corps of Engineers Sued Over Katrina:

By CAIN BURDEAU, Associated Press Writer Tue Apr 25, 11:55 PM ET

NEW ORLEANS - Five people whose homes were flooded during Hurricane Katrina sued the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers on Tuesday, accusing the agency of ignoring repeated warnings that a navigation channel it built would turn into a 'hurricane highway.'
[...]

Of course. When you can't make aliving any other way, sue someone.

This Day in History - Chernobyl

From HistoryChannel.com:
1986 Nuclear explosion at Chernobyl

On this day in 1986, the world’s worst nuclear accident to date occurs at the Chernobyl nuclear plant near Kiev in Ukraine. The full toll from this disaster is still being tallied, but experts believe that thousands of people died and as many as 70,000 suffered severe poisoning. In addition, a large area of land may not be livable for as much as 150 years. The 18-mile radius around Chernobyl was home to almost 150,000 people who had to be permanently relocated.
[...]

At first, the Soviet government only asked for advice on how to fight graphite fires and acknowledged the death of two people. It soon became apparent, however, that the Soviets were covering up a major accident and had ignored their responsibility to warn both their own people and surrounding nations. Two days after the explosion, Swedish authorities began measuring dangerously high levels of radioactivity in their atmosphere.
[...]

And if you're really interested in seeing it close up, you can take the Chernobyl Tour.
Yup. I'm there.

Spam Subject of the Day

"shame of sex? we can change it"

Like the old joke goes:
Her: "Who do you expect to satisfy with that?"
Him: "Me."

Just For Fun

"Compare Gas Prices In Your Area"
Click here.

Oh, And Just So You Know

It cost me seventy-fucking-dollars to fill my truck up with gas yesterday.

That's $70 y'all

Good thing I have a short commute to work.

Now let's see if any of this shit works.
And this shit. And this shit.

A Funny

Funny Video

Click here to watch
"Surprise Visitor at the White House Easter Egg Roll".

How Does Your Job Stack Up?

How we picked the best jobs

We started with growing fields...and then started cutting.

NEW YORK (MONEY) - To find the best jobs in America, MONEY Magazine and Salary.com, a leading provider of employee compensation data and software, began by assembling a list of positions that the Bureau of Labor Statistics projects will grow at an above-average rate over 10 years and that require at least a bachelor's degree.

Using Salary.com compensation data, we eliminated jobs with average pay below $50,000; total employment of less than 15,000; dangerous work environments; or fewer than 800 annual job openings, including both new and replacement positions.

Next we rated positions by stress levels, flexibility in hours and working environment, creativity, and how easy it is to enter and advance in the field.

We then ranked the jobs, giving double weight to compensation and percentage growth. Data for the top 50 appear here. Any job that fell in the bottom third of two job-satisfaction categories, or in the pay or growth category, was removed from consideration for the top 10.

Here are the top 10:_______Growth - Salary
1- Software engineer___________46.07% - $80,427
2 - College professor___________31.39% - $81,491
3 - Financial advisor____________25.92% - $122,462
4 - Human resources manager____23.47% - $73,731
5- Physician assistant___________49.65% - $75,117
6- Market research analyst______20.19% - $82,317
7- Computer/IT analyst_________36.10% - $83,427
8- Real estate appraiser________22.78% - $66,216
9- Pharmacist________________24.57% - $91,998
10- Psychologist______________19.14% - $66,359

My job is sorta along the lines of one of those in there, but I don't get paid near as much as they do.
Bummer.

Maybe Teens Aren't So Dumb

Latest Disturbing Teen Fad--Even for Girls - CNN:

Your teenager may be smoking, but chances are it's not cigarettes. The latest teen craze is cigar smoking, and thanks to an industry that encourages such behavior, they can even smoke grape, cinnamon and apple flavored stogies.

Alarmingly, the trend isn't limited to just boys. Plenty of girls are lighting up, too.

Well, good for them. I love a good cigar. I'm glad to see teens are getting a little class.

But, with all the nanny do-gooders harping on the ills of secondhand smoke and forbidding decent folk to fire up, check this out:

"The recent marked increase in smokeless tobacco use, predominantly by pre-adolescent and adolescent males, has prompted action on local, and Federal level. Smokeless tobacco product have apparantly bacome popular among student in school across tho United States."

[I copied that text, so look to me for a spell checker.]
Hey, people are going to use tobacco. Evidently the do-gooders would rather slosh through a puddle of spit than smell a little smoke.

Spam Subject of the Day

"From stretch massachusetts"

I don't want nothing from 'massachusetts'.

Bwah! Another Funny

Shamelessly stolen from Emigre with a Digital Cluebat:

"A man scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive woman standing alone.

He approached her and asked her name.

'My name is Carmen,' she told him.

'That's a beautiful name,' he said. 'Is it a family name?'

'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I
like most ----- cars and men.' 'What's your name?' she asked.

'Beertits,' he said"

Thanx Delftsman!

Iran says US to be humiliated if it attacks - Yahoo! News

Iran says US to be humiliated if it attacks:

Mon Apr 24, 7:46 AM ET

TEHRAN (Reuters) -
Iran's defense minister said on Monday that any U.S. military attack over its nuclear programme would result in a humiliating defeat for the United States, the official IRNA news agency reported.

What's with this chest puffing bullshit?
Maybe we need to go kick their ass just to shut them up.

My Daddy Is Bigger Than Your Daddy

Iran says US to be humiliated if it attacks:

Mon Apr 24, 7:46 AM ET

TEHRAN (Reuters) -
Iran's defense minister said on Monday that any U.S. military attack over its nuclear programme would result in a humiliating defeat for the United States, the official IRNA news agency reported.

What's with this chest puffing bullshit?
Maybe we need to go kick their ass just to shut them up.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Almost horse coliseum"

Well let me know when it is.

A Funny

Vacation Pix

So I finally remembered to post pictures of our vacation last week.
Here's one:

Here's 'nuther:

Now go here and see the rest.

Most popular news stories as ranked by readers of Yahoo! News

Widow, 84, Wins Record $10M Slot Jackpot :

AP - Thu Apr 20, 12:48 PM ET Sent 944 times

ATLANTIC CITY, N.J. - For 84-year-old Josephine Crawford, the golden years just got a lot more golden. About to call it quits after a night playing slot machines, the Galloway Township widow hit a $10 million jackpot late Tuesday, the biggest in the history of casino gambling here.

Great. Another old bat getting all that money who will never last long enough to spend it all.

Another Worthless Union

NYC Doormen Reach Deal, Avoid Walkout - Yahoo! News:

By PAT MILTON, Associated Press Writer Fri Apr 21, 2:14 AM ET

NEW YORK - The city's doormen reached a tentative agreement with building owners early Friday, avoiding a walkout that could have forced tens of thousands of apartment dwellers to take out their own trash and carry their own groceries.
[...]

Health care and wages had been two major issues in the negotiations, which were extended beyond a 12:01 a.m. Friday deadline.

Under the four-year deal, which must be ratified by union members, the doormen will get a wage increase of 2.06 percent a year. They now earn about $37,300 a year. The workers also will not have to make health care premium contributions, union bosses said.

Wait a minute. You tellin' me that's a union job? Good lord.
Someone's making money off tis and it ain't the doormen.

From The 'Duh' Files - Again

Study: Distractions Cause Most Car Crashes:
AP - Fri Apr 21, 8:53 AM ET

BLACKSBURG, Va. - Those sleep-deprived, multitasking drivers — clutching cell phones, fiddling with their radios or applying lipstick — apparently are involved in an awful lot of crashes.

We needed a study for this?

Spam Subject of the Day

"tturnoff gno prophetess"

Huh?

WOO HOO!

Score one for the good guys:

New Orleans Police to Return Seized Guns:
AP - Wed Apr 19, 9:23 PM ET

NEW ORLEANS - Under pressure from the National Rifle Association, police this week began returning guns confiscated after Hurricane Katrina.
[...]

As well they should. They're basically returning stolen property.
Trouble is, they didn't keep very good records. They took many without giving the owners a receipt or any other sort of proof of ownership. So those folks are screwed out of their property.

It's All In The Presentation

China, Iran, Saudi, US main executioners: Amnesty:

Wed Apr 19, 9:25 PM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - More than 2,000 people were known to have been executed around the world last year, the vast majority of them in China, followed by Iran, Saudi Arabia and the United States, Amnesty International said on Thursday.
[...]

At least 94 people were executed in Iran, 86 in Saudi Arabia and 60 in the United States.
[...]

Do those cornholes really expect us to believe those numbers? ONLY 94 in Iran and ONLY 86 in Saudi?
I seriously doubt there were that few.

The important part here is that they just had to throw U.S. in the headline to make us look bad. Personally, I think we have too few executions, but that's another post.

Uh, go ahead and include the numbers from China why don't you? From Wikipedia:

China performed more than 3400 executions in 2004 and these amount to more than 90% of executions worldwide.

Sorry, didn't see any numbers newer than that.

We can't hold a candle to those trigger-happy animals.

More Stupidity From Korea

North Korea says it has 'shocking evidence' of US plot:
Thu Apr 20, 3:27 AM ET

SEOUL (Reuters) - North Korea has charged the United States with counterfeiting its own currency and shifting the blame to Pyongyang, adding artists with 'blood-shot eyes' in Japan are making cartoons attacking Pyongyang's leaders.

Yeah. Makes sense to me.

Cocky Bastards

Iran scoffs at US strike talk
1 hour, 26 minutes ago

TEHRAN (Reuters) - Iran scoffed on Thursday at the idea of U.S. military action to halt its nuclear program and gave no hint of compromise before a visit by U.N. inspectors to assess Iranian compliance with Security Council demands.
[...]

Hey Iran, did you happen to notice what's been going on in the adjoining country?
Don't get all uppity now...

This Day in History - Columbine

Remember this?:

1999 A massacre at Columbine High School

Two teenage gunmen kill 13 people in a shooting spree at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. At 11:20 a.m., Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, dressed in long trench coats, began shooting students outside the school before moving inside to continue their rampage. By the time SWAT team officers finally entered the school at 3:30 p.m., Klebold and Harris had killed 12 fellow students and a teacher, and had wounded another 23 people. Turning their guns on themselves, Klebold and Harris then committed suicide.

Goofy fuckers.

The Enemy Within

Here are some torillas for thought; quotes by some mainstream Mexican leaders.

Via email:

Augustin Cebada, Brown Berets; "Go back to Boston! Go back to Plymouth Rock, Pilgrims! Get out! We are the future. You are old and tired. Go on. We have beaten you. Leave like beaten rats. You old white people. It is your duty to die . . Through love of having children, we are going to take over.

Richard Alatorre, Los Angeles City Council. "They're afraid we're going to take over the governmental institutions and other institutions. They're right. We will take them over . . . We are here to stay."

Excelsior, the national newspaper of Mexico, "The American Southwest seems to be slowly returning to the jurisdiction of Mexico without firing a single shot." Professor Jose Angel Gutierrez, University of Texas; "We have an aging white America. They are not making babies. They are dying. The explosion is in our population . . . I love it. They are shitting in their pants with fear. I love it."

Art Torres, Chairman of the California Democratic Party, "Remember
187--proposition to deny taxpayer funds for services to non-citizens--was the last gasp of white America in California."

Gloria Molina, Los Angeles County Supervisor, "We are politicizing every single one of these new citizens that are becoming citizens of this country . . . I gotta tell you that a lot of people are saying, "I'm going to go out there and vote because I want to pay them back."

Mario Obledo, California Coalition of Hispanic Organizations and California State Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare under Governor Jerry Brown, also awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Bill Clinton.

"California is going to be a Hispanic state. Anyone who doesn't like it should leave."

Jose Pescador Osuna, Mexican Consul General , "We are practicing 'La Reconquista' in California."

Professor Fernando Guerra, Loyola Marymount University; "We need to avoid a white backlash by using codes understood by Latinos . . . "

[snip]

Is education important to you? Here are the words of a teacher who spent over 20 years in the Los Angeles School system. "Imagine teachers in classes containing 30-40 students of widely varying attention spans and motivation, many of whom aren't fluent in English. Educators seek learning materials likely to reach the majority of students and that means fewer words and math problems and more pictures and multicultural references."

Again I rant: Immigrants who go through the proper channels want to learn English and become Americans. I can't blame them for wanting to live free, but not at the rest of society's expense.
Illegals come here expecting rights and privileges U.S. citizens already have. They don't earn them, and they don't deserve them, but they still they demand them. They expect us to accommodate them here in this land of opportunity. Offer up a job, healthcare, education and so on just because they were sly enough to evade the law.

What part of illegal alien don't these fucking protesters understand?

Spam Subject of the Day

"Say rutty mawr"

Sounds like a horny cat.

Quote Of The Day

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Ain't it the truth.

More Global Warming

This is crazy. In the south we extreme heat causing blackouts:

Heat, Power Demand Force Texas Blackouts
AP - Tue Apr 18, 9:07 PM ET

HOUSTON - Faced with the prospect of another day of record heat, the state's power suppliers urged Texans to cut down on their electricity use in the hopes of avoiding more rolling blackouts.
[...]

But head north a bit and we have this:

N.D. Snowstorm Blamed for 3 Deaths
AP - 3 minutes ago

BISMARCK, N.D. - More than a foot of blowing snow closed major highways on the northwestern Plains on Wednesday, caused widespread power outages and was blamed for at least three deaths.
[...]

We're doomed. DOOMED!

I'm Shocked!

Shocked, I tell you.

Immigrants' Interest in Citizenship Surges:
AP - 2 hours, 3 minutes ago

WASHINGTON - Efforts by Congress and local governments to crack down on illegal immigration — and the protests that followed those efforts — have produced a surge of interest in learning how to become a U.S. citizen.
[...]

You mean to tell me that that the fear of being deported may have driven them to consider becoming citizens?
Blow me down.

Bend Over If You Drive A Car

Oil stays above $72 on Iran nuclear dispute

Wed Apr 19, 6:48 AM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - Oil held above $72 a barrel on Wednesday on fears Iran's intensifying dispute with the West may lead to a supply cut from the world's fourth largest exporter.

Either that or the summer travel season is coming and they know they can gouge us.

A Funny

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

Well, the next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." Could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Yes pease it connive"

It does, eh?

Global Warming

Scientists unveil world's oldest ice block:
Reuters - Tue Apr 18, 5:42 AM ET

TOKYO (Reuters) - A million-year-old ice sample drilled from 3 kilometres under the Antarctic and unveiled in Tokyo on Tuesday could yield vital clues on climate change, Japanese scientists said.

Uh, great. I'll have it in a glass of scotch please.
What this sample tells me is that it was cold there 3 million years ago, just like it is today.

What's In A Name

Humuhumunukunukuapuaa:
AP - Tue Apr 18, 7:39 AM ET

HONOLULU - The humuhumunukunukuapuaa officially lost its title as the state fish more than a decade ago but is set to reclaim the honor.

If I were a fish, I would be embarrassed to have a name like that.

A Pat On The Back For Georgia

Georgia governor signs sweeping immigration law:

ATLANTA (Reuters) - The state of Georgia approved a sweeping measure on Monday to crack down on illegal immigrants, while in a sign of the national division on the issue, Arizona's governor vetoed a bill that would have allowed undocumented workers to be prosecuted as trespassers.

The moves come as the federal government and states consider how to deal with an estimated 11 million to 12 million undocumented workers while immigrants, many of whom are Hispanic, are displaying their political power through mass demonstrations in cities across the United States.

See, that's part of the trouble. They all of a sudden have political power too.

The Georgia Security and Immigration Compliance Act, signed into law by Republican Gov. Sonny Perdue, denies many state services paid for by taxpayers to people who are in the United States illegally.

Gee. What an idea.

It also forces contractors doing business with the state to verify the legal status of new workers, and requires police to notify immigration officials if people charged with crimes are illegal immigrants.

That's right. Make it so employers can't hire them and the demand won't be there.

'It's our responsibility to ensure that our famous Georgia hospitality is not abused, that our taxpayers are not taken advantage of and that our citizens are protected,' Perdue said before signing the law.

But Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano, a Democrat, backed by key law enforcement officials, vetoed the bill in her state, the nation's hot spot for illegal crossing of the roughly 2,000-mile-long U.S.-Mexico border, saying there were no resources to pay police and prosecutors for an increased burden.

If they would have done their job in the first place, there would be no increased burden.

Under the proposal, first-time offenders would have faced a misdemeanor charge and up to six months in jail. A second offense would have been a felony, punishable by up to one year in jail.

6 months in jail? A year in jail? Fuck that.
It's a helluva lot cheaper to load them in a Ryder and haul them back over the border.

Arizona officials also were concerned about its effect in the community.

'There is a real concern that crimes will go unreported by immigrants for fear that they would be turned into federal agents,' said Wendy Balazik, a spokeswoman for the 20,000-member International Association of Chiefs of Police. 'Law enforcement would lose valuable information.'
[...]

Crimes go unreported by immigrants? Like that doesn't happen now?


There's just so much stupidity involved in the shit it's really gotten pathetic.
Have we started on the wall yet?

This Day in History - The Famous Ride

Busy day today From HistoryChannel.com.

First, we have:

REVERE AND DAWES RIDE:
April 18, 1775

In Massachusetts, British troops march out of Boston on a mission to confiscate the Patriot arsenal at Concord and to capture Patriot leaders Samuel Adams and John Hancock, known to be hiding at Lexington. As the British departed, Boston Patriots Paul Revere and William Dawes set out on horseback from the city to warn Adams and Hancock and rouse the Patriot minutemen.
[...]

Next:

1906 The Great San Francisco Earthquake

At 5:13 a.m., an earthquake estimated at close to 8.0 on the Richter scale strikes San Francisco, California, killing hundreds of people as it topples numerous buildings. The quake was caused by a slip of the San Andreas Fault over a segment about 275 miles long, and shock waves could be felt from southern Oregon down to Los Angeles.

And then:

1983 Suicide bomber destroys U.S. embassy in Beirut.

The U.S. embassy in Beirut, Lebanon, is almost completely destroyed by a car-bomb explosion that kills 63 people, including the suicide bomber and 17 Americans. The terrorist attack was carried out in protest of the U.S. military presence in Lebanon.
[...]

Spam Subject of the Day

"Said billow some herpes"

Uh, ick.

Support T.W.A.T.

Yes, I support T.W.A.T. Do you?

ps. If my wife saw this post, she'd shit. Seriously.

Just A Couple Vacation Notes

Because I know you were just dying to know about my vacation.
I'll post some pictures I took one of these days but for now, here's a quick rundown.

We had friends from Illinois visit us. Since they hadn't been to Utah before, we took them for a few days to see some gorgeous country.

The first day, we went to Bryce Canyon National Park. We were there early enough to see the sunrise. It is a completely different experience to see the canyon at that time of day, but next time we will plan it a little closer to sunrise. We were there an hour early, but the stars and planets (Venus, Jupiter, Saturn and Mars) were plentiful. It was worth it.
Some of the group hiked into the canyon, but I was too lazy. I stayed on top and took a bunch of pictures.

On our way back home, we went through Zion Canyon National Park.
We did a little exploring, "ooo"-ing and "awe"-ing there, then stopped at some of the many shops along the main streets of the many little towns. Yes. A lot of shops.
Luckily, there were two of us men and two boys who were to antsy to allow for much shopping time.

The day after we got back home, we went to Valley of Fire State Park and Lost City Museum. Very cool seeing all the indian dwellings and items from the villages, and some more gorgeous scenery.

Saturday, Mrs. C and I went to see .38 Special. Remember them? It was a great show. They played all their hits, and a couple songs from their new album.

All in all, it was a very nice week.


Now go look at the pictures on those links until I get mine posted.

Quote Of The Day

Posted on Death's Door, the view from the Spanish announcers table:

[...]
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
[...]

Go read the rest. Just for the helluvit.

Speaking Of Statistics

It's nice to know that while I was away, the number one search phrase bringing folks to my humble site is still "buttfuck mountain".


That is all.

Bwah!

Some 'lucky devil' stumbled onto my blog, so of course, I had to check his out. I'm glad I did, as he gave me a good chuckle with this post :

"60 and counting" at Treading Water having a one-sided conversation with Bill Gates:

How would you like to make some real money. Not just the chickenfeed millions you have now, but all the rest that you could have.

All you have to do is come up with a simple operating system that FUCKEN WORKS.

For the last 12 years I have been building, repairing and generally having fun with computers on the mechanical side. When it comes to programs, starting with Windows it all starts to slide down hill.

What the hell does XP stand for??? Xuberant Penny, Xaltant Patricia or some other female name. All I know is that just like my girlfriend, once a month it is going to shit itself, get the screaming meemies and fall apart.
[...]

I agree whole-heartedly. Bill should make one "pretty" and easy to use OS for computer illiterates, and make another basic yet totally functional workhorse OS for servers and more savvy users.

Anyway, go read the rest of his blog. He's just started it up, but he has some good observations.

Spam Subject of the Day

Take your pick.
While I was away, I received these counts of spam from the following email accounts:

• 118 - Yahoo mail
  
• 67 - Cox
  
• 58 - Work

Jeezus Cryst amighty.

Spam Subject Of The Day

"It's not a quastion of it, but when"

it?

A Letter to the President

Via email:

Dear President:


I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few arrangements. I know you can help with this.

I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here.

So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Vicente Fox, that I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

• 1. Free medical care for my entire family.
• 2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
• 3. All government forms need to be printed in English.
• 4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.
• 5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
• 6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.
• 7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
• 8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
• 9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort to learn local traffic laws.
• 10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from Pres. Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police officers speak English.
• 11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
• 12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.
• 13. Please tell all the people in the country to be extremely nice and never say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the economy.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that Pres. Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

However, if he gives you any trouble, just invite him to go quail hunting with your VP

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Back In The Saddle

Hi there! I'm back from vacation. Kind of.

I am back in town, but still off work. So vacation isn't completely over yet.

Anyway, yes. We've been having a good time, thanks for asking.

Yay Me!

Well folks, I will be on vacation all of next week, so I may or may not do any posting.
I thought I would let you know, so your Curmudgeon jones may be easier to bear.

Until then,
Have a weekend!

Your Child Is Never Too Old Or Too Young For One Of These

Use it to give her or him a demonstration of proper usage of a raincoat.
Although, looking at Teddy, why do I feel a little envious?

A little envious I said! That's it.

What A Nerd

I Shoulda Stayed In School

$13,700 an Hour:

Katrina vanden Heuvel Thu Apr 6, 11:25 PM ET

The Nation -- Last Sunday, the New York Times reported that--for the first time--a full-time worker earning minimum wage cannot afford a one-bedroom apartment anywhere in America at market rates. That means more and more people like Michelle Kennedy--a former Senate page and author of Without a Net: Middle Class and Homeless (with Kids) in America--are finding themselves homeless and living out of their cars.

At a town hall meeting in Ohio last Saturday, Representative Sherrod Brown of Ohio, a staunch advocate for social and economic rights--he and Bernie Sanders are the two best candidates running for Senate in 2006--railed against stagnant wages' contribution to economic hardship. 'It is unacceptable that someone can work full-time--and work hard--and not be able to lift their family out of poverty.' He blasted a system where a full-time worker making the minimum wage earns $10,500 annually, while 'last year the CEO of Wal-Mart earned $3,500 an hour. The CEO of Halliburton earned about $8,300 an hour. And the CEO of ExxonMobil earned about $13,700 an hour.
[...]'

Good lord! $13,700 an hour? I'm worth that much, at least!
Oh, sorry. I'm being selfish.

But tell me this. When was the last time a minimum wage earner could afford to buy a house? I honestly don't remember.
I'm guessing maybe the first week the minimum wage act went into place. And maybe it would have been a one-roomed shack in a public housing project. Definitely nothing big enough for a family.

Anyway, Katrina vanden Deamer, what the fuck? Do you honestly think raising the minimum wage to say, 200k a year is going to fix the economy? What other ideas you got?

Sceery

I posted this story just because I have driven that canyon quite a few times for ski trips. It always made me a little nervous.

Family Survives Utah Avalance

Fri Apr 7, 8:29 AM ET

SALT LAKE CITY - Michael Thomas and his five young children had just finished an afternoon of skiing and were driving back down the mountain when the avalanche hit.

There was no warning, he said, just a powerful wave of snow that swept their sport utility vehicle off the road and sent it sliding 100 feet on its side with Thomas, his wife, two teenage resort workers and the children, ages 3-10, all strapped inside.

"All I remember is white, and my seatbelt holding me right here and bumping around," 10-year-old Adam Thomas told KSL-TV after rescuers reached the St. Louis family following the avalanche Thursday in Little Cottonwood Canyon.

Other than some scrapes and bruises, all nine passengers were fine.

But for the Thomases, in the Utah mountains for spring break, there were some terrifying moments.

When they SUV finally stopped sliding, the adults tried to get out of the vehicle but the doors wouldn't open.

The two Alta Resort employees who had hitched a ride with the family managed to kick out one of the windows. They climbed out and had helped the rest of the family escape when rescuers arrived.

"When we got to it, there were little kids climbing up out of the snow, all covered in snow — little three-year-old snowballs crawling out of there — so it was pretty exciting to see that they were OK," said Salt Lake County Sheriff's Sgt. Todd Griffiths.

He said the snow slide was about 6 feet high and 100 years wide.

The canyon road had been closed earlier in the day for avalanche control. One lane was opened late in the afternoon so skiers and snowboarders from Alta and Snowbird could return to the valley, Snowbird spokeswoman Laura Schaffer said.

The avalanche was about 4 1/2 miles from Snowbird Resort, 20 miles southeast of Salt Lake City. The resort got about 2 feet of snow Thursday.

I'm sure there was a couple seats full of shit.

Spam Subject of the Day

"shorten"

Oh sure. After all that junk you sent to make it bigger you want me to shorten now?

Speaking Of Statistics

The Iraq war: "It's all about the oooooooiiiiiiiiilllllll!!!!!!"

Quick question: What country provides the single largest volume of the US's oil imports, Iraq? Saudi? Iran? Someone else?

Click and drag between the lines to see the answer:

---------------------------------------------

Our primary source of oil imports is Canada (16.9% of all imports), followed by Saudi Arabia (14.5%), Mexico (13.4%), and Venezuela (11.3%). The amounts do vary, but Canada has been number 1 for some time.

---------------------------------------------

Stats found here.

Iraq is a ways down the list with 3.9% in 2002 and 5% in 2005, with Iran at 0%.

Now is when it gets confusing. That same country is where our largest volume of exports go, with the U.S.'s third largest import supplier being our second largest export destination.
Got that?

Brookings Institution

I have never seen this site before, but it is quite the interesting - non-partisan - read.
Go take a look at the Iraq Index

A Couple More Thoughts On The Invasion From Within

Where to begin.

Well, this is not the ANSWER:

The Act Now to Stop War & End Racism (ANSWER) coalition, which organized the Los Angeles march to win "full rights for undocumented workers," is confident its new "national action" will prove successful.
ANSWER's steering committee includes the Free Palestine Alliance, the Partnership for Civil Justice, the Nicaragua Network, the Korea Truth Commission, the Muslim Student Association, the Mexico Solidarity Network and the Party for Socialism and Liberation. It denounces as racism attempts to criminalize illegal aliens.
[...]

Nice bunch of sponsers ya' got there. Especially, the "Party for Socialism and Liberation".
Yeah, we know just how good socialism works.

Full rights for undocumented workers? You mean to tell me that just because they were able to evade the law and sneak into the country illegally they should be granted amnesty?
Oh, yes. And let's be sure and use the race card. We'll be looking at Jesse Jacksoff and Al Sharpton soon too, right?

For your next protest, go ahead. Wave your Mexican flags.
You're so proud of your country, go back. You all have done such a damn fine job of running it so far.
Stomp your feet and cry "Unfair". No, fair is becoming a citizen and paying taxes for the benefits you've been receiving for free.
Point out all the 'rights' you're entitled to. You have no rights at all, except the right to go to jail or get deported.

Where's that wall GeeDubya? Can't we sell some of that oil we stole from Iraq to buy bricks, mortar, concertina, dogs, land mines, gun turrets, ammo and guards? It's rather temperate there. Can't we transplant a few 'gators from Jawja, 'Bama and Florida? Damn up the Rio Grande and make a nice moat?


Until then, don't expect the lawn at your office building to get mowed May 1st.

Giver Her Time

She'll be visiting the same 'tailor' before long.

Where's The Male Strippers?

3 Arrested at Mass. Baby Shower Brawl - AP:
Wed Apr 5, 1:17 PM ET

SPRINGFIELD, Mass. - A baby shower erupted into a fight among guests in which one man was shot and several other people, including the seven-months-pregnant guest of honor, were beaten with a stick, police say.

Must have been some shitty presents there.

Wait a minute. Are you saying all those gun laws in that stupid state don't work?
I'm SHOCKED. Astounded! Aghast!


Follow-up:

Massachusetts becomes first US state with universal health insurance
AFP - Wed Apr 5, 4:21 PM ET

NEW YORK (AFP) - Massachusetts is set to become the first state to set up a system of virtually compulsory health insurance in the only major industrial nation not to have universal care.
[...]

At least we know they'll be taken care of at the hospital.

But...I don't like it:

"No new taxes are planned...

'Read my lips.'
There's the clincher. They didn't say anything about raising current taxes.

"...the poor will receive improved coverage and public subsidies to help them pay."

So let me get this straight. If you're not poor, you don't get the same breaks? You've already been paying taxes to cover indigent care, but the money has to come from somewhere.

Take from the rich and give to the poor. Typical democrat mindset.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Became sunburn batwing"

Barking MoonBatwing?

Quote Of The Day

If you have a few minutes to spare, go over to Chicago Boyz and read up on quite the interesting smack-down of some idiotic idealist. Here's a snip:

...some of these blogs that I suspect are written by spoiled little brats who have not much real life experience.

Funny, I was going to say the same thing. It has often been noted that people are more likely to be leftist when they are young and naive but move to the Right as they gain life experience. Historically, radical leftists have been young, naive and rich. People educated in the school of hard knocks tend to develop the tragic vision of the Right instead of the utopian vision of the Left.

It only gets better...

Easter Is Nigh Upon Us

Here's a funny:

Fun With Aging Celebs

She's a little before my time, but I do remember her as being a hotty back in the day.
Now I present Brigitte Bardot. A famous frenchy sex symbol back in the 60's:

Then:



Now:

I declare this "Club A Seal For Brigitte Day".

Alien-able Rights?

Where's an old man driving to Farmer's Market when you need one:

Hundreds Rally to Protest Immigration Bills:

By DYLAN T. LOVAN, Associated Press Writer Tue Apr 4, 11:50 PM ET

LOUISVILLE, Ky. - Waving American and Mexican flags, hundreds of Hispanics rallied downtown Tuesday to oppose immigration reform proposed by Congress.

About 450 people marched in a block-wide oval, and many clutched homemade signs opposing a bill passed by the U.S. House in December that would make illegal immigrants felons.

'They deserve the right to stay here and become a citizen like I am,' said Saul Garcia, part owner of four Mexican-style restaurants in the Louisville area.
[...]

[My emphasis]

The Right? My aching ass. They shouldn't have any fucking rights here until they are citizens.
Which, I'm all for, provided they go throught the proper procedure to become a legal citizen, like people from any other country would have to do.

The Best Defense Is A Good Offense, Right?

Saddam says Shi'ite-run ministry kills thousands:

By Mussab al-Khairalla 52 minutes ago

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - Ousted President Saddam Hussein, on trial for crimes against humanity, accused Iraq's new Shi'ite-run Interior Ministry of killing and torturing thousands of Iraqis when he returned to court on Wednesday.
[...]

Uh, yeah. Let's try the old "divert attention" trick here.

Resistance Is Futile

You will be assimilated.

Apple unveils software to permit Windows use:

8 minutes ago

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Apple Computer Inc. (Nasdaq:AAPL - news), the maker of the Macintosh computer and iPod music device, on Wednesday rolled out a first-ever software patch to run Microsoft's dominant Windows operating system on its PCs, a move that could draw millions of new buyers.
[...]

This Day in History - Death

From HistoryChannel.com:

1994 Kurt Cobain commits suicide

Modern rock icon Kurt Cobain commits suicide on this day in 1994. His body was discovered inside his home in Seattle, Washington, three days later by Gary Smith, an electrician, who was installing a security system in the suburban house. Despite indications that Cobain, the lead singer of Nirvana, killed himself, several skeptics questioned the circumstances of his death and pinned responsibility on his wife, Courtney Love.
[...]

Click - boom. Kurt Blowbrain is a gonner.
Courtney has been trying to follow in his footsteps ever since.

1976 Howard Hughes dies

Howard Robard Hughes, one of the richest men to emerge from the American West during the 20th century, dies while flying from Acapulco to Houston.
[...]

Never an extrovert, Hughes became increasingly reclusive after 1950. Operating through managers who rarely saw him in person, he bought up vast tracts of real estate in California, Arizona, and Nevada that skyrocketed in value. In 1967, he became involved in the Nevada gambling industry when he purchased the famous Desert Inn Hotel on the Las Vegas strip. Nevada gaming authorities welcomed Hughes' involvement because it counteracted the popular image that the Mafia dominated the gambling industry. By the early 1970s, Hughes had become the largest single landholder in Nevada, and with around 8,000 Nevada residents on his payroll, Hughes was also the state's largest employer.
[...]

He was the Bill Gates of the 60's and 70's, and he (well, his estate) is still making millions from land deals here in the Las Vegas valley. Amazing.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Enough counterexample it merrymake"

Now I could use that.

Quote Of The Day

Posted by 'Dan' in the comments at Gut Rumbles:

"For liberals there is no end to their rights and no beginning to their responsiblities."

Ouch!


He-he.

Again, Fuck Howard Stern

New York Post Online - Howard Stern Lashes Out at Some Fans:

NEW YORK (AP) -- Howard Stern is angry more fans haven't followed him to satellite radio. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, the 52-year-old shock jock lashes out at those of his fan base who haven't made the transition to Sirius Satellite Radio.

In January, Stern moved his popular and bawdy morning show to the subscription satellite radio provider.

'I was just at my psychiatrist and I said, `I just got great news: We hit the 4 million mark. And I'm angry. It should be 20 million,'' Stern says in the magazine, on newsstands Monday.

'It's insulting to me that everyone hasn't come with me. I take it personally,' he says.

'I want to say to my audience ... `You haven't come with me yet? How dare you? We're up to wild, crazy stuff, the show has never sounded better. You cheap bastard!''
[...]

I'm sure he's just dicking around. But, like I said. Fuck Howard Stern.
Worthless, pompous, arrogant, egotistical, lame, adolescent piece of shit.

Give it up with the shrink. Your problems are way beyond what anything but a bullet to the head can cure.

Food Companies Are To Blame?

Evidently, yes.
And so are tobacco companies. And bar owners. And gun manufacturers.

Food companies criticized over health commitments:

By Kate Holton Tue Apr 4, 6:52 AM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - Many of the world's top food companies are not doing enough to help cut the salt, fat and sugar which are contributing to a global, diet-related health crisis, according to a report on Tuesday.
[...]

People choose to eat fatty and salty food, drink booze, smoke ciggies, shoot other people but yet blame it on everyone but themselves when they fuck up.

'Ownership' people. It's all about accepting the responsibility of your actions.
Greedy bastards.

[spit][stomp]

Good Doggie

Take a look at this commercial. It made me chuckle.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Yes rembrandt millenarian"

I'll be damned.

Peace Plan

This has been around a while but this is a good time to repeat it. Robin Williams usually gets credited for it, but he wasn't the one who actually penned it: Not much of a stretch either. It's a little too thought out for one of his nose powder induced tirades:

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.

1)"The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good ole boys", we will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available
to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort
to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given
to the army. The people who need
it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

End Of The World. Again

First, there was the Y2K panic. The sky never fell.

Then, 1 hour, 1 minute and 1 second after midnight January 1st, 2001:

01:01:01 01/01/01

Nope. Still never fell.


Now we have Wednesday, April 5th 2006 at 1:02 and three seconds in the morning:

01:02:03 04/05/06

The sky is gonna fall. Just not very fast.

Whatever. It's cool to actually be around when that shit happens. :)

Interesting...

Fed up of being women, five Saudis change sex:

Mon Apr 3, 8:31 AM ET

RIYADH (Reuters) - Five Saudi women have undergone sex change operations because they developed a psychologic complex in the male-dominated Muslim society, a newspaper reported on Monday.

Al Watan newspaper quoted psychology expert Mohamed Abdelmawjoud as saying the operations took place over a year's period. Authorities did not bother any of them, according to the report.

An interior ministry official told the paper such cases are examined by religious authorities, and sometimes by psychologists, but never get arrested.

But a senior cleric said authorities have to fill a legal vacuum by issuing laws against sex change operations.

Saudi Arabia adopts an austere form of Islam, which requires women to cover up in public and bans them from driving or going out unaccompanied by a male relative.

You mean to tell me that some women over there don't like living that opressed lifestyle? That some may prefer a little independence and freedom from Allah's ways?

I'm shocked! SHOCKED I tell you!

Stupid Shit

Motorist Opens Fire on Hell's Angels:

By MATT APUZZO, Associated Press Writer 2 hours, 44 minutes ago

WEST HAVEN, Conn. - A motorist opened fire on a group of Hell's Angels motorcyclists along Interstate 95, killing one and injuring another, police said.

The bikers were traveling near West Haven around 3:30 p.m. Sunday when they were shot, said State Police spokesman Sgt. J. Paul Vance.

Police were considering a number of possible motives including road rage, and authorities across the Northeast were alerted to look for a green GMC sport-utility vehicle with Florida plates, Vance said. He said police believe four men were in the vehicle.
[...]

The owner of that SUV better pray the cops find him first.

I Have Seen The Apocolypse, And It Is Disco

I thought that musically speaking, we had moved beyond disco. Sure, there are still some morons out there who like it, or at least tolerate it, but I hate the shit. Always have. Even in it's heyday, I as a teen - trying to get laid - refused to cater to the whims of the female in tow, and relent to a request for disco to be played in the trusty 8-track.

Fast forward to last Friday night.
Me, Mrs. 'C' and some friends go out for dinner and music. The band was named "Love Shack", and they of course, played mostly 80's music, with a handful of disco songs tossed into the mix. There are the expected mix of people there - from the younger set all the way up to people in their 40's and 50's. There are also a handful of drugstore cowboys wearing Wranglers and cowboy hats, with this weird looking circle on the back pocket. Everyone was having a good time dancing to the music, socializing, tossing back the beverages, all the usual stuff.

But then, it got weird.
The band played another disco song. One of the most horrid songs to ever puke into the toilet of disco music. "We Are Family".
So, the rednecks, knowing nothing else but how to properly insert a pinch of snuff and line dance, did just that. Then more people joined in. Until the dance floor was loaded with people line dancing. To disco. Ugh.

Spam Subject of the Day

"goldberg party humerus shotbush"

That's what I was afraid of.