Ask The Curmudgeon

DEAR CURMUDGEON: I am 27, and my wife, "Marybeth," is 26. We recently went to my folks' house for supper. That evening a heavy snowstorm was starting and, because the trip home is 30 miles, we decided to stay overnight.

My old bedroom is upstairs, as are the rooms of my brothers, ages 25, 24 and 22. The guest room is downstairs. Because the room is quite small, and Marybeth said she felt a cold coming on, we decided I'd sleep in my old room.

The next day, while we were driving home, Marybeth told me she was glad I had come to her room after all and made love to her.

Abby, it wasn't me! She had mistaken one of my brothers for me in the darkness. We are all about the same size and build.

I have talked to each of my brothers (they all know about this), but they won't say who it was for fear of causing a rift between the guilty party and me. I told them that unless I find out who it was, there will be a permanent rift between all of us. (Marybeth still doesn't know it wasn't me.)

How do I handle this?

Well moron, if your brothers are to lame to man up about fucking your wife, you need you to go kick all asses for them. Chicken shits. Besides that, didn't they know she had a cold coming on? They could have gotten sick.

Then go kick your wife's ass for fucking one of your brothers. She could have given him a cold! That ain't no way to treat family. Even if she did think it was you (BWAAAAHHH!!! Yeah, right. Do you really believe your brother smells, tastes, moves and fucks the same?), she could have given you the bug.

What a stupid bitch. You need to dump her. Find someone smarter.



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