"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Yeah, Sure

Too surreal to not post in its entirety:
Colorado Man Resuscitates Chicken:
"COLLBRAN, Colo. - First there was Mike the Headless Chicken, a rooster that survived for 18 months after having its head lopped off with an ax.

Now, western Colorado has a new chicken survival story, this one involving a man who claims he saved his fowl by giving it mouth-to-beak resuscitation.

Uegene Safken says one of the chickens in his young flock had gotten into a tub of water in the yard last week and appeared to have died.

Safken said he first swung the chicken by the feet to revive it. When that failed, he continued swinging and blowing into its beak.

'Then one eye opened. I thought it was an involuntary response,' Safken said. The chicken's beak opened a little wider, and Safken started yelling at it: 'You're too young to die!

'Every time I'd yell at him, he'd chirp,' Safken said.

Mike the Headless Chicken survived a beheading in 1945 in Fruita, Colo. Afterward, Mike could go through the motions of pecking for food, and when he tried to crow, a gurgle came out. His owner put feed and water directly into Mike's gullet with an eyedropper.

Scientists examined the chicken and theorized Mike had enough of a brain stem left to live headless. He was a popular attraction until he choked to death on a corn kernel."
The first scenario - the headless chicken - is a stretch. I would like to see the picture, see just how much of the head/brain was remaining.

But the second scenario - the drowning - is just, well...Why?

First of all, I can't get past the imagery. Some idiot out in the barnyard swing a chicken around by the feet. That's bad enough. But for him to then stop swinging it around and start blowing into its beak? Good lord that must have been a sight.

Anyway, forget reviving it. Pluck it, clean it and put it on the rotisserie.


Death said...

I watched a special one night on chickens, and Mike the headless chicken was featured. He’s the real deal and shit, all the damn thing had was a body and part of a neck. His owners fed him with an eyedropper thru a hole in his neck. They also had to use an eyedropper to suck the crap from his neck every few hours so that the stupid chicken could breath. They showed him off at fairs and shit until one night they fell asleep and didn’t wake up in time to suck his neck out and the stupid chicken drowned in his own spit.

curmudgeon said...

Good gawd-a-mighty. I'll have to look for more on that. I always knew chickens were stupid, but I guess they can live without brains too.

Hey - I know some people like that!