"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Banality In Everyday Life

So Monday and Thursday are garbage day here in the desert. Exciting, huh? Well, there's a story I must tell.

Monday, I put the garbage on the curb for the mob to pick up. (I refer to them as "The Mob" since our garbage collection company - like many others, has been run by the mob for years.)
So Monday, I put the garbage on the curb. (Did I already say that?) Whatever.

As well as a standard old plastic can, and a few other bags of junk, I also have one of these:

What with all the company we've had for all the events we've dealt with for the last couple weeks, we've gone above and beyond our average collection of household trash. The garbage containers have gotten a workout.
So Monday, I put the trash on the curb, and head off to work. The mob came collected it all sometime during the day, and I returned home that evening to find the one regular garbage can resting forlornly on the sidewalk. It's accompaniment, the toter, nowhere to be found.

Now that toter has been with us since we moved into the house, which was back in '96. It had been well used and beaten, mostly by the mob banging it on the back of their truck, but it was still functional and useful. A bit worn and broken, much like a favorite pair of tennies, but still quite usable.
I suspect the mob had just tossed in the back of their truck rather than put up with another day of its ugliness.

So I called the mob headquarters and asked if there was a reason why the 'chuckers' may have absconded with my toter. Their reply was that they would put in a work order, and have an auditor make a sweep of the area within a five block radius to see if my toter could be found. They suggested I look around and see if I could find it in some other neighbor's yard, and "I'll give you your serial number now too, sir".
They said that if the auditor doesn't find it, they would mail me a lease agreement, which I was to fill out and return, upon which time they would send another toter to my house for me to use.

Now this isn't a stolen car or some shit, this is a fucking garbage can! They can't just drop one off tomorrow and be done with it?
Evidently not. There are processes in place, searches to be made, forms to fill out, work orders to process, and who the hell knows what other wheels must grind at headquarters in order for me to throw out garbage.

And I'll probably get billed for the missing fucker too.




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7 comments:

Hammer said...

If somthing happens to the can the company issued, they bill me 50 bucks.

Anonymous said...

Free replacements down here.

feree!

curmudgeon said...

Hammer,
I think it's a hundred and something here.

Mark,
Maybe next time you come up, you can bring me one.

Anonymous said...

It would have Waste Management in bold letters on the side. The mod wouldn't like that very much. I think you've had enough trouble already :)

aneek!

curmudgeon said...

Well, they sell spray paint at K-mart...

Miss Sassy said...

I like how a wheel gets taken off my car within view of the corner's police monitored camera and all I get was "what do you want me to do about it?" when I reported it, and your garbage company issues a sweep, a serial number, and a promise to take care of it.

Makes me think of that temp job I had in the office of the WM company in my town... how you COULD NOT have an extra can out or you'd be charged for it cuz the dude would have to get out and chuck it himself instead of let the machanical arm do all the work. For your 2 weeks you coulda tripled your quarterly bill!

curmudgeon said...

Luckily, they haven't gotten to the point of charging extras for lazy assholes yet.