Fuck Me.

What the hell is the world coming to?:

Students suspended for making slingshots

PITTSBURGH, April 28 (UPI) -- A Pittsburgh elementary school said five fourth-graders were suspended on weapons charges for making slingshots from pencils, rubber bands and paper clips.

Principal Kathi Shirey of Fawn Elementary School said a teacher and three students were hit by paper clips launched from the slingshots, created by the children from their school supplies, WPXI-TV, Pittsburgh, reported. The teacher and students were not injured.

"Everyone uses pencils while in school, but you would never think someone would use them to create a weapon, but that's exactly how the district sees it," Shirey said. "It's an object that could have caused serious injury."

The principal said the school district could have expelled the students for an entire school year, but due to their ages, they were only suspended for one day and one of their scheduled field trips was taken away.

However, Melanie Chelko, mother of one of the suspended students, said the punishment was still too harsh.

"This was not a weapon to them. This was a toy," she said.

Chelko said her son "came home and cried for three hours on the couch because he was suspended. That was torment enough for him."

Next they'll be making hand grenades out of snow and launching them at other innocent children. And cars. And windows.

At least when I made shit like that in school I had enough sense to not shoot the damn things at the teacher.

Dumb fucks.



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Fucking Hangovers

No, I'm talking about a fucking hangover, I'm talking about a fucking hangover:

FDA to allow 'morning-after' pill for 17-year-olds

WASHINGTON - Women's groups cheered the government's decision to allow 17-year-olds to buy the "morning-after" emergency contraceptive without a doctor's prescription, but conservatives denounced it as a blow to parental supervision of teens.
[...]

I wish they would have had that shit when I was a punk-assed kid back in the day. I could have had a lot more action with a lot less worry.

Of course this will put a serious dent in the early pregnancy test manufacturing business.


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See? I Was Right

Only idiots listen to rap.

I've mentioned my dislike for rap and rappers many times, and I've also mentioned how bad it sucks. Now there's proof that if you listen to it you're stupid:

SAT scores vs. music you listen to.

[...]
Shockingly, people who enjoy listening to Beethoven scored significantly higher than everyone else. The people who enjoy listening to Lil' Wayne, however, were at the bottom of the intelligence chart -- just behind people who like Beyoncé and T.I.
[...]

Like it says there, higher on the scale is good stuff like AC/DC, Tool, U2, David Bowie, Grateful Dead ... At the lowest end of the scale is of course, any form of rappity hop.

Word.

But then, I could be wrong. These folks look like they're just brimming with intelligence, don't they?:













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Those Damn Delinquents

Student arrested for 'passing gas' at Fla. school
Mon Nov 24, 9:31 PM ET

STUART, Fla. - A student at a Florida school has been arrested after authorities said he was "passing gas" and turning off his classmates' computers. According to a report released Friday by the Martin County Sheriff's Office, the 13-year-old boy "continually disrupted his classroom environment" by intentionally breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were using.

The Spectrum Junior-Senior High School was arrested Nov. 4.

A school resource officer placed the boy under arrest after he confessed about his behavior, according to the report. He was charged with disruption of school function and released to his mother.

Bwah! Disruption of a school function with a bodily function. Tha's funny.

Sure. Fart all you want. But you shut my computer off, one of us is going down.



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Tricky Treat!

So as I was leaving the dentist's office Wednesday after getting my head drilled, his parting words were "Be sure and buy lots of candy for the trick or treaters, keep me in business."
Gave me a chuckle it did.

So with that, I went to get the goodies for the little bastards last night, and after the cashier scanned the sixth 3 pound bag of goodies, she pointed to the 'Oh wait, I need one of those' piles they have at the register - you know, the little things they try to upsell and add to your purchase when they're all done scanning your cart full. She points and says "Are you sure you don't need one more?"
Hah friggin' hah. The bitch doesn't know it, but I get so many of the little shits coming by that I may still run out.

See, I don't want to be out scrubbing eggs off the house and cars, nor do I want to remove toilet paper from the trees or shrubs. So I do like every other homeowner in a decent yet ungated neighborhood and stock up on the cavity inducing insurance policy for the neighborhood kids, as well as the carloads of mexican kids who come from neighborhoods where parents don't dare walk at night, let alone allow their kids to walk. This way, I don't have to do anything the next day but gather up the decorations I myself have put out without worrying about getting 'tricked'.

So there you have it. I have the treats bought, I will pick up my adult 'treats' on the way home, and Mrs Curmudgeon and I will park our asses on the lawn chairs in the driveway and give away 'free' shit to all the little kiddies (many of which are teenagers) who grace us with their presence.

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More From The Thread That Refuses To Die...

Jeezus tap dancing chryst people. What the fuck is your problem?

Let us hop aboard the way-back machine for a moment and revisit a post I made Monday, September 19, 2005. 3 and a half gawd damn years ago. It was entitled "Top 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs".
I got yet another comment on that post regarding how inept I am at blogging, how limited my musical tastes are, how unqualified I am to even comment about how limited my musical tastes are, how uppity and narrow minded I am, how my mother wears combat boots, how I kick puppies for no reason, and how I should do the world a favor and just slit my wrists.
Well, I may have made the last few items up, but you get the idea.

Such harsh and judgmental words from such a cute, young, bored little twat.
See, I looked at her profile on my-loser-space, and she has a picture up there of herself.
Poor thing says I need to get a life, but yet she has nothing better to do than google "Awesomely Bad Songs". Uh, pot: meet kettle.

You may ask yourself "Why do you even bother? Why not just close comments to that tired old post?". Well, I don't have anything better to post on, so I'll just post a reply to the little twit's comment.

Uh, read the comments again. You'll see something along the lines of:

• This posting was a brief opinion of the songs I recognized.
• I don't give a flying fuck of anyone else's opinion of me or my music tastes or whether I've heard the songs or not.
  
• I really don't give a big enough fuck about the songs I haven't heard to research whether they're worth a shit or not, because ...
  
• The radio stations I listen to - which usually play the music I like to hear, don't or didn't play the songs flagged in the post as "I don't know".
• I don't watch VH1 or MTV. They both suck and do nothing but cater to teeny-bopper twits with no life, which is most likely why you know all of these songs.
  
• If I see song named that I don't know, I will see who performed it in making my decision on whether to listen to it or not. If I see an 'artist' whom I know sucks, I can usually assume any song recorded by said artist will also suck. Sort of like seeing the golden arches down the street. I know most of their food sucks. Therefore, I can assume that any other food they try to shove through the drive-up window will also suck.
• And if you've read this far, you're a sucker for punishment. Log off and go outdoors for a spell.
  

Now I was just commenting to Mrs Curmudgeon over the weekend as we were listening to my MP3 player - prior to reading this comment, I might add - and said something like "I think I have very eclectic musical tastes." She in fact, agreed.
On my player, you find music from the likes of ... Let's just go alphabetical here. For your sake, I won't run through the whole gammut, but I will give you a bit of a selection:

AC/DC
ALISON KRAUSS
ALICE IN CHAINS
BECK
BILLY IDOL
CHARLOTTE CHURCH
COLLECTIVE SOUL
DIAMOND, NEIL
DISTURBED
DUARTE, CHRIS
ELVIS PRESLEY
EAGLES
EVERCLEAR
FLOGGING MOLLY
FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD
FRANK SINATRA
FUEL
GODSMACK
GOO GOO DOLLS
HELLYEAH
INK SPOTS
INCUBUS
IRON MAIDEN
JANIS JOPLIN
JOHNNY CASH
JIMMY BUFFET
KENNY WAYNE SHEPHERD
KINGDOM COME
KORN
LENNON, JOHN
LIFEHOUSE
MARTIN, DEAN

Fuck it. That's enough to see there is a variety of artists starting clear back in the 40's through modern times. All genres except hippity-rap-hop and country. I like a wide variety of music and always have. Maybe you young myspace-cruising whippersnappers think I'm narrow minded and have no life and that's just fine with me. Like I said before, go fuck yourself.
Maybe you need to take a music appreciation class or learn to play a musical instrument instead of seeing how many friends you can add to your friends list. Maybe then you'll learn what music - real fucking music - is about, rather than fill your mindless ears with whatever talentless clone the music industry tries to sell the mindless public while they're selling Red Bull and rubbers to you young, punk-ass airheads.

Oh, and by the way, I don't claim to have perfect grammar. I do have much better grammar than many of dumb shit commentors on my blog though. And from what I've seen on many blogs and myspace pages, I have better grammar than a fair amount of the idiots who run them.
So again I say, go fuck yourself. Then get a life.

Oh, and while you're blowing your demons, try not to drizzle down your chin. They don't like that.



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You Just Can't Ban Stupid

Baggy pants ban "unconstitutional," rules US judge
AFP - Tue Sep 16, 1:59 PM ET Sent 2,163 times

MIAMI (AFP) - A Florida judge has deemed unconstitutional a law banning baggy pants that show off the wearer's underwear, local media reported Tuesday.
[...]

It may be within the limits of the constitution to wear stupid clothes - Spandex anyone? - but can't local governments still make laws governing lewd behavior? That's what I thought.

But nevertheless, dumb-ass boys who do wear that sort of fucked up garb are idiots. If they really knew what they were doing, they wouldn't be wearing the shit that way in the first place.

Now my understanding is that the origin of this sort of stupid behavior came from prison. If you're in prison and you're wearing your pants down with your ass hanging out, it means you're someone's bitch. So let me ask you young lads so proudly displaying your boxers: Whose bitch are you?







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From The "Get A Life" Department

This is fucking funny - or maybe pathetic:

Mom allegedly uses daughter's ID to be cheerleader
[...]
According to the complaint, Brown wanted to get her high school degree and become a cheerleader because she didn't have a childhood and wanted to regain a part of her life that she'd missed.
[...]

Good gawd. Grow the hell up you fucking loser.



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Set 'Em Up

College presidents seek debate on drinking age
Mon Aug 18, 9:57 PM ET

College presidents from about 100 of the nation's best-known universities, including Duke, Dartmouth and Ohio State, are calling on lawmakers to consider lowering the drinking age from 21 to 18, saying current laws actually encourage dangerous binge drinking on campus.
[...]

I'm way past - I mean waaaaaay past the age of 18, so this idea doesn't give me any sort of dance in the pants, but I'm sure teeny-boppers everywhere are getting all excited.

Society has pretty much determined that once someone turns 18, they're an adult. They are now entitled to all the priveleges of an adult, and they are also personally responsible for their actions as an adult.
They are entitled to vote for their leaders, they are able to fight and die for their country, and they will also be charged as an adult for any crimes against society.

Now don't get me wrong, I think that for the most part, 18 year olds are idiots. Most usually don't have enough sense to make wise decisions, such as who to vote for. Most aren't mature enough to know why they are going to war.
But on the same token, most 21 year olds aren't any smarter.

Personally, I think that since society has decided someone is able to participate in all the other facets of society at that age, they should also be able to decide whether or not they want to buy booze at that age. If they do break any laws, then treat them as any other adult would be treated.

However, as we found during prohibition, making booze illegal sure as hell didn't make it go away. It only spawned a different set of crimes. And minors are doing just that.





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Happy Friggin' B'day To Me!!!

Yup, I am a year older today. I expect you will post your greetings and well wishes in the comments...





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From The 'Bad Idea' Department

Woman crashes into store then tries to buy beer
Tue Jul 1, 9:31 PM ET

NORWALK, Calif. - A convenience store became an unwilling drive-in when a 74-year-old woman plowed her car through the front window and then tried to buy a six-pack of Budweiser, police and the owner said.
[...]

What? You've never done that?



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Hang Up And Drive

So I hear there's a new "Hands Free" Cell phone bill going into effect today:

New hands-free law goes into effect today
[...]
It is against the law beginning today to drive a vehicle using a handheld cell phone, or for drivers under 18 to use a cell phone at all while driving. There are exceptions for emergencies, including calling public safety agencies or health-care providers.
[...]

Hey! I was right!

I guess if you're 18 or older, you can still use your phone to send text messages. Yeah. That makes sense.

I wonder how long it will take the rest of the country to enact the same law? Can't be too far down the road.

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Quote of the Day

Random blog somewhere. Don't matter where:

"Rap is to music as Etch-a-Sketch is to art"

Oh shut up. Yes, I know some people use those pieces of shit as an art medium. But then, some people use microphones for singing too.



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Guess That Didn't Work

First rise in U.S. teen births since '91

By MIKE STOBBE, AP Medical Writer Wed Dec 5, 6:42 PM ET

ATLANTA - In a troubling reversal, the nation's teen birth rate rose for the first time in 15 years, surprising government health officials and reviving the bitter debate about abstinence-only sex education.

The birth rate had been dropping since its peak in 1991, although the decline had slowed in recent years. On Wednesday, government statisticians said it rose 3 percent from 2005 to 2006.
[...]

You want my opinion on the matter? I thought so.

Here's the deal. Teens - just like most everyone else - like to fuck. When you go handing out rubbers for free along with the "don't ask don't tell" or "we can't contact your parents when you want an abortion", you in essence teach them it's okay to fuck. Simple as that. The may or may not user a rubber. And chances are, if they think it's okay to fuck and they don't have a rubber handy, well they're going to go ahead and fuck.

You want them to behave themselves, you are going to have to teach them properly, and set good examples. Kids learn by example. And if the only example is the shit currently on teevee and in the movies, that's what they learn.




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Trick Or Treating At The Clinton's

♫♪ Ding-dong... ♫♪

Tricky-treaters: "♪ Trick or treat. ♫
♫♪ Smell my feet. ♪♪
♪♪ We want something good to eat. ♫♪"

The door opens, as Hitlery answers...
Hitlery: "My my! Don't y'all look just darlin'!"

Tricky-treaters: "EEEEK!!! A WITCH CONSTUME!!! "

Hitlery: "No kids, it's a pants-suit."

Tricky-treaters: "Trick or treat!!!"

Hitlery: "Well kids, here's how it works under my new socialized 'Trick-or-treat plan'. There will be no kids left un-treated."

Tricky-treaters: "Uh, okaaaayyyy..."

Hitlery: "Here. Each of you take one of these forms and fill it out. After the specified waiting period as stated in article 3 section 7 on the back of the form, you can then take it to one of the official government licensed treat distribution centers listed in section 10 subsection 37 on page 42 of the form.

"Then, when you get to the treat distribution center - which I am really working on getting sufficient staffing for - you will take a number and relax in one of the comfy chairs set up in the waiting room.

"When your number is called, you will receive a nice, official government sanctioned sugar cube!

"Same sugar buzz without all that fluff!"

Tricky-treaters: "Ah, we don't want no sugar cube. What about a Milky Way or Snickers, or maybe a Kit Kat?"

Hitlery: "Sorry kids. Those aren't an option. Everyone gets equal treatment at the treat centers! No discrimination!"

Tricky-treaters: "Aahhh, but we want real candy."

Hitlery: "Then you'll just have to take it from someone else who has it and distribute it amongst yourselves."

Tricky-treaters: "But mommy and daddy told that wasn't right. Is it?"

Hitlery: "It is as far as I'm concerned. Those other kids don't need all that candy anyway."

Tricky-treaters: "Gee. C'mon gang. Let's go to someone else's house."




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Damn! I Missed Out Again

Lawmaker shows nude photo to students

AP - 1 hour, 31 minutes ago

NORWALK, Ohio - A state legislator surprised a high school class when the computer he was using projected a photo of a nude woman during a lecture on how a bill becomes a law.
[...]

One thing about growing up in the age I did, was that there was no easy access to smut. Sure, you had the usual magazines like Playboy or National Geographic, but nowdays, kids in the classroom get to see all sorts of nastys projected by teachers or other presenters.

Damn. Born late I guess.



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Kids Today

Toys 'R' Us to recall 27,000 coloring cases

Reuters - 1 hour, 9 minutes ago

(Reuters) - Retailer Toys 'R' Us Inc has voluntarily recalled 27,000 units of Imaginirium wooden coloring cases that were made in China, due to violation of lead paint standard, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission said.
[...]

See, I think that's the problem with kids today. It isn't the nanny state do-gooders or the sissy parents or over regulated schools making kids turn soft.
See, back in my day, we had leaded paint, saccharine, mothers smoking and drinking while pregnant, tap water, you get the picture.
These days, kids aren't getting enough chemicals and minerals like nicotine, alcohol, chlorine, fluoride and lead in their diets. They're turning into a bunch of losers and pussies. They need these things to toughen them up a bit.






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BAN SPORTS!

Girl, 12, dies after softball accident

Thu Jul 26, 6:07 AM ET

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - A 12-year-old softball player was knocked unconscious when a ball hit her in the head during practice, and she died a day later, police and family said.
[...]

Unless maybe it's competitive knitting. We shouldn't be putting kids in harm's way like that.

What's the world coming to anyway?




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BWAH!

Trooper stops naked couple in SUV

Wed Jun 13, 10:58 PM ET

BELLEVUE, Wash. - Drunken driving is bad, but drunken driving while naked could be worse. A Washington State Patrol trooper pulled over an SUV on Interstate 90 in this Seattle suburb after observing it driving erratically about 1:20 a.m. Friday.
[...]

Oh fer gawd's sake. If you're going to get your dick sucked in the car, just pull over.

It's bad enough to drink coffee, shave, talk on the cell phone, put on make-up and read the newspaper while driving. You don't need to fuck too.



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Those Crazy Kids

3 charged in Ill. high school food fight

AP - Sun Jun 3, 9:59 PM ET

AURORA, Ill. - A high school senior accused of starting a massive food fight that left a police officer injured was among three students arrested in the prank.
[...]

The dumb-ass clutzy cop hurt himself tripping on someone as he was trying to catch the 'bad guy'. No story there.

The rest of the story? BWAH!!! I would have loved to have watched it.



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