Spam Subject of the Day

"You'll be every woman's idol"

Sorry, already am.



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You've Coma A Long Way Baby

Obama signs equal-pay bill
WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama signed an equal-pay bill into law Thursday before cheering labor and women leaders who fought hard for it and the woman whose history-making lawsuit gave impetus to the cause.
[...]

Good job, dear. Now where's my supper?

Next thing you know, they'll be putting a man on the moon.


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"Good Job, Men"

That's some good police work there:

Poker aficionados watching SC Texas Hold 'em case
[...]
As the cards flew during a night in April 2006, a half-dozen police officers burst into the home, seizing several thousand dollars in cash and a small amount of marijuana. They ticketed Chimento and about 20 other players for breaking the conservative state's 200-year-old prohibition on games of chance.
[...]

Nice to know the authorities are keeping us safe from the bad guys.




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BWAH!!!

The tally is in!

2 million people attended the Inauguration of our new president.

Only 14 missed work!

Thanks Sherri. :)


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Spam Subject of the Day

"Have you ever tried pheromones?"

No worries there. After a day of yard work, I have plenty emitting from my pits.



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Stimulating

With all the talk of another stimulous plan in the works, if another check gets sent to taxpayers, here are some things to keep in mind.

Via email:

Stimulus Payment Info.

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

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Attention Geeks, Nerds, And Other Assorted Basement Dwellers

Okay, it's bad enough to hear someone yammer on about their kids, their cats, their exes, or their favorite game the prior weekend. But if you can stand up and talk for an hour about your armor, your weaponry, your abilities, your level and your conquests the prior evening during your on-line gaming experience, you need to get a fucking life.



Ahhhh.... Nothing beats cubicle life.


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The New Look of Food Stamps

We've had quite a tradition of printing the mugs of presidents or other people who have made a significant change to humanity in general, on our national currency. Thing is, we've always done it posthumously.

Why wait until they're dead I say. Let's get the ball rolling right now for the new president. Get his picture on there while he's in office:




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Spam Subject of the Day

"Vibrator - Meet Power Drill"

Now you're taliking!



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Then On The Other Hand

Quote from a random blog:

"Ugh I have no idea what I should do my friend alex still likes me and I still like him but ugh Noah keeps ditching me at school and he'll act all sad and I'll ask him what's wrong and he won't tell but yet he says he don't care if I know and he getting all pissed when people say anything about me being bisexual even when it's not bad and I don't care and he showing pics of me and him from the movies and it just pissing me off ugh then today I did scene hair and like he was being a jerk about it like saying what your even more scene now and Erg he's just making me mad and he called me fat the other day and he gets high like every day grrrrrrr am I fat???????"

No, just stupid.

Reminds me of a T-shirt I saw once on a somewhat LARGE-ish girl in college:

"I may be fat, but you're stupid. And I can diet."

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Unbelievable

Senate OKs 4-month delay to digital TV changeover
Mon Jan 26, 8:14 PM ET

WASHINGTON - People who have not gotten their TV sets ready for the changeover to digital signals could earn a four-month reprieve under a bill making its way through Congress.
[...]

I already mentioned this in a post a spell back, but ... why?

Why delay another four months, something that has been in the works for several years now?
Sweet bleedin' shit people. Unless you've been living in a remote corner of the country totally isolated from the news, you should have known for a couple years that this was going to happen. And the senate should be worrying about more important things than who can watch a fucking press conference.





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Spam Subject of the Day

"Re: my birthday suit"

No thanks. I have one of my own.
Fuckwad.



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Thought For Today

I've heard stories from some people who were "lucky" enough to get tickets in a drawing for the presidential inauguration.
I've also heard others mention "Wow! That person must have donated a lot to the campaign to get that close!".

With that, I had an epiphany: If one's relative proximity to the presidential inauguration hoopla is directly proportional one's support given to Obamm-bamm during his campaign, I am proud to announce that I did not move even one millimeter nearer.



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Teachers, Where Is Your God Union Now?

A Stark Warning
[...]
The Saturday rally marked the one-year anniversary of the announcement that the diocese would not recognize the teachers union as a collective bargaining unit. The diocese instead created an employee relations program to address wages, benefits and other similar issues.

House Bill 26 would allow lay teachers and employees at religious schools to decide by a majority vote if they want to be represented by a union. Unions in religious schools could then bring grievances to the Pennsylvania Labor Relations Board — which currently has no jurisdiction over workplace issues in parochial schools.
[...]

Teachers' salaries suck. I do feel bad for anyone so committed they are willing to condemn themselves to a life of a sub-level salary for the benefit of their students. They have my respect.
As compared to other occupations with the same level of degree required, teachers are the lowest paid people in the country. And unions have fixed this, how?

Yeah, maybe they help with grievances and whatnot which aren't salary related, but if I were to ever think about getting into a career in education, I would definitely be looking for a superintendent job or somesuch. Something with a decent salary.


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Rap Sucz

Well, here I go again. Another post about music. Really though, this post is not so much about music, but more about rap. Even more specifically, rappers.

Seems every time I make a post about music and musicians, or rap and rappers, I get called to the carpet. Well, so be it. If you don't like my commentary, don't bother posting a comment letting me know how uninformed or stupid I am, or how I don't understand what it's all about because rap sucks, rappers are a bunch of talentless, racist hacks, or because a a particular musician or entertainer I thinks sucks or is ugly. Just shut the fuck up and move along. I've heard it all before.

So the background is that I got wind of some shit the fucknut Jay-Z was yammering on about from Mrs. Curmudgeon as we were enjoying a dinner out. She mentioned that she had watched a Bill O'Reilly show last week there he and Dennis Miller - wait a minute. Mrs. Curmudgeon watching Bill O'Reilly? Blow me down matey. She always shakes her head when I mention anything I've watched on O'Reilly's show.

Anyway, she mentioned she that was watching O'Reilly interview Dennis Miller last week and they were discussing some of the racist shit the idiots Jay-Z (wtf?) and Young Jeezy (again, wtf?) had been spouting off at the inaugural ball.

Now notice I said this was on O'Reilly's show, which is of course, on the Fox network. There was no mention of it that I know of on any of the other major networks. Why do you suppose that is?

I snagged these quotes from other sources, so they may be misaligned or disjointed, but you get the drift:

Young Jeezy:"I know ya'll thanking a lot of people right now...I want to thank two people. I want to thank the motherfucker overseas that threw two shoes at George Bush, and I want to thank the motherfuckers who helped them move they shit up out the White House. Get it moving bitch! My president is motherfucking black!"

Jay-Z: "My president is black, in fact he's half white/So even in a racist mind he's half right/If you've got a racist mind it's alright/My president is black, but his house is all white!"

"Never thought I'd say this shit, baby I'm good. you can keep your pussy because I don't want no more Bush. No more war. No more Iraq. No more white lies, my president is black"

Nice. You rap fans have yourself some real role models there.

And these fuckers call us crackers racists? Now that's fucking funny.
Yeah, It's a real honor to be a racist drug dealer. A real honor to glamorize "the 'hood". Poverty, drugs, gang violence, filth and unlimited children on "The Man's" dime.

Good for you, you rappin', hip-hoppin' fucks. You made it to the big time. You have a career, unlike the people whose lives you ruined by selling them the drugs that made the money that got you your start in life.

But you Obama, I never heard a rebuttal from you. If in fact you and your following are not racist, why did you allow this bullshit ease on by without any denouncement from your staff?

Let's say that next election, a white man gets elected. Let's say that oh, Ted Nugent gets on stage and says something like "No more black lies! My president is white again!" Does anyone believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, BBC, CBC, ... even fucking Pravda, wouldn't go totally apeshit and rip 'The Nuge' a new asshole?
Damn right they would. They would make it perfectly clear how big of a gun-totin' white racist he was, and from that point on he wouldn't make it through another day without round the clock Secret Service protection and a new identity.

Yeah, racism still abounds, but I don't hear it coming from whitey any more.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"Som aBlly No\/.!"

Okay, you got me there. No clue.



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HE HAS RISEN!!! HE WILL LEAD US!!! CHANGE!!! HOPE!!!

Doug Ross has put up a tidy little quite a comprehensive list of the fucking losers we can look to as leaders and lawmakers for the next few years:

Obama's Posse o' Change

Well, this seems an inauspicious start. No, not the oath of office (that appeared to be a gaffe by the Chief Justice). It's the crew that President Obama assembled to serve as his Cabinet.
[...]

Do yourself a favor and go read it. Stew on it a bit, then feel free to do as I did. Sit back in your chair, legs propped up a bit, arms crossed, and shake your head in disbelief.

Fuck me. It's a good era to be a crook.



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[snicker] [chuckle] [snort] BWAAAAHHH!!!!

Texas girls hoops team seeks forfeit of 100-0 win
DALLAS - A Texas high school girls basketball team on the winning end of a 100-0 game has a case of blowout remorse. Now officials from The Covenant School say they are trying to do the right thing by seeking a forfeit and apologizing for the margin of victory.
[...]

[snicker] [snort] [chuckle] [snicker] [giggle] [chortle] BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!...

[snort] [chuckle] BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!! OMG!!! ROTFLMAO!!!

100-zip?!?!

BWAH-HA-HA-HA!!!

BWAH!!!

Good gawd-a-mighty. My stomach hurts.
Uh, maybe y'all shoulda considered packing it in about - oh, the end of the half? First quarter even?


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What A Blow-dried Fuckwit

Ill. gov tells AP that strain is like Pearl Harbor

[...]
"Dec. 9 to my family, to us, to me, is what Pearl Harbor Day was to the United States," Gov. Rod Blagojevich told The Associated Press in an interview Thursday. "It was a complete surprise, completely unexpected. And just like the United States prevailed in that, we'll prevail in this."
[...]

What a pompous, arrogant, fuck.

How can he even take his little kerfuffle and compare it with the magnitude of death and destruction of Pearl Harbor?

May the sperm of a thousand ejaculating pron stars paint his face.



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Quote of the Day

Seen on a bumper sticker on my way into work:"

"God bless our troops...
Especially our snipers"

Now THAT is a classic.



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