Call Me Cold But ...

Bones of 11th body found on mesa near Albuquerque

[...]
[Michelle] Valdez, who was identified through dental records, and the other identified victim, Victoria Chavez, are included in a list of 16 women who went missing in Albuquerque between 2001 and 2006. The women all struggled with drug addiction, had a history of prostitution and led transient lives.
[...]
Valdez's father, who lives in Albuquerque, reported her missing months after she stopped coming around to borrow money and check in with her family.
[...]

Doesn't sound like any big loss to me. Whoever dun these murders probably did the city, state and country, not to mention the welfare system a favor.




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From The "No Shit!" Files - Again

Rock stars more likely to die prematurely

Reuters - Mon Sep 3, 7:06 PM ET Sent 728 times

LONDON (Reuters) - Rock stars -- notorious for their "crash and burn" lifestyles -- really are more likely than other people to die before reaching old age.
[...]

Uh, do ya think?

How long did it take you compile this story, Einstein?



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Fuck ESPN

And any other media source involved in reporting 'sports'.

The gawdd-amn headlines are all full of shit like "steroids", "shooting", "drugs", "arrest", "pitbulls"...

Of course, we all know of Michael Vic's dumb-assery, then there's 'Pac-man' Jones and his involvement in a shooting, Steroids at the Tour de France, and so on.
It seems that every time some high priced, overpaid athlete makes it in the big time, they turn stupid. I mean, how can you make that much money and not just enjoy it? How can one do such stupid shit like these big names do? Beyond me.

But when one does something noteworthy, they of course are accused of cheating. Tested for drugs, blah-blah-blah. Bunch of fucked up sore losers I think.

First, look at Lance Armstrong. He kicked ass, and the sorry-ass french accused him of doping. Barry Bonds is fixing to break Hank Aaron's record and people are getting all pissy.
Look, he was never convicted of steroid use. Let him make his record and let's move the hell on. Records are made to be broken. Someday, someone is going to com along and break his record too.

Anyway, fuck sportscasters. I don't watch them anyway.



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Owie!

Get a load of this:

Man pinned under tree amputates his leg

AP - Wed Jun 6, 9:43 PM ET

IOWA HILL, Calif. - Alone in the woods with his left leg pinned beneath a fallen tree for 11 hours, a 66-year-old man used pocket knives to cut off his limb below the knee to free himself, a neighbor and authorities said.
[...]

Too bad this dude wasn't around at the time:

Chain saw-wielding man arrested in Maine

AP - Thu Jun 7, 4:42 PM ET

HOWLAND, Maine - A man who waved a chain saw over his head, threatened motorists and did some impromptu pruning of local shrubbery was arrested at gunpoint.
[...]

BWAH!




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And From The 'Get A Life' Department

Humane Society holds doggie yoga class

AP - 1 hour, 20 minutes ago

BELLEVUE, Wash. - Beans, a majestic 2-year-old Vizsla, however, is ready to play. The overgrown puppy has tried to relax with his owner, Chantale Anderson, but once Magnet the black lab heads off to explore the room, Beans is ready to go.
[...]

Now I like dogs. They make good pets. They can even make a good meal. But taking them and doing yoga?
Dogs know when it's time to eat, time to sleep, and time to shit. Yoga?

I have a bridge over a swamp I would like to sell you losers.

Fucking morons.




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Rocket Surgeons

Circumcision recommended to fight HIV

AP - Wed Mar 28, 5:54 PM ET Sent 225 times

GENEVA - U.N. health agencies recommended Wednesday that heterosexual men undergo circumcision because of "compelling" evidence that it can reduce their chances of contracting HIV by up to 60 percent.
[...]

Newsflash!

I have a couple other suggestions for you on how to reduce AIDS:

• Stop butt-fucking, and
• Put down the needle, dumbass

Yeah, I know. It's not just fags and junkies who get AIDS. However, they are the ones more likely to have it, and if one has it, shouldn't he refrain from passing it along?

Should not the pitcher keep his dick tucked in his shorts rather than kill someone?
Shouldn't the catcher refrain from sticking his ass in the air to take a load of death sentence?

And you! Mr. or Mrs. Junkie; you want it that bad that you've decided to kill yourself for it?
Evidently.

As far as third or fourth world countries go, they're doomed. Helpless and hopeless. The only way they're going to get rid of the disease is to keep passing it along until they've killed each other off.
Enlightenment? More money? Naw. That ain't going to work. Not as long as their governments keep intercepting both.




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Damn Canuks

Owners frantic over pets amid pet food recall

By Anupreeta Das Tue Mar 20, 6:55 PM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A massive pet food recall has touched a nerve with pet-loving Americans, many of whom see their pets as family members.

The recalled products, manufactured by Menu Foods of Ontario, Canada, account for 1 percent of pet food sold in the United States, the Food and Drug Administration has said.
[...]

They're trying to get to us through our pets now...

Where's that tin foil? I lost my hat.



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So. Whad'dy Think?

Are all cancers caused by nothing more than a parasite?




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It Must Run In The Family

Anna Nicole Smith dead

[...]
Seminole tribal fire rescue and Hollywood fire rescue workers tried to revive her at her hotel, said Michael Bloom, president of the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida.

She was taken to Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood at 2:10 p.m. and died there, police said.
[...]

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"I tole yyoufu - nnnnn - youfuckers I-I nnnn Iwasnnnn, Iwasnnnn, I wasnn't feelunshogood."


Seriously though, hmmm. We all know she was a drunk. Most likely ate every chemical available too. My guess is she partied too hard, and overdid it.

But then again, maybe her late husband's family got tired of her shit:

"Marshall [her late husband] died the following year and Smith spent much of the following decade battling members of his family over his estate. In May 2006 the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that Smith could pursue her case in federal court."


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Yup. In this day and age, they're pretty easy to come by.


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