What A Sleighload Of Horse Shit

Va. School's No-Contact Rule Is a Touchy Subject


By Maria Glod
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, June 18, 2007; B01

Fairfax County middle school student Hal Beaulieu hopped up from his lunch table one day a few months ago, sat next to his girlfriend and slipped his arm around her shoulder. That landed him a trip to the school office.

Among his crimes: hugging.

All touching -- not only fighting or inappropriate touching -- is against the rules at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna. Hand-holding, handshakes and high-fives? Banned. The rule has been conveyed to students this way: "NO PHYSICAL CONTACT!!!!!"
[...]

What, THEE, Fuck?!?! Are these people for real? I may be an old fart, but back in my day...

C'mon now, you should know me better than that. I'm not going to pull that shit.

Suffice it to say though that this overprotective, P.C., "Everyone's a winner" bullshit is getting waaaaay out of hand.

What's a school without sneaking a little hand holding in the bleachers during the ball game?
Or what sort of 'guy' stuff is supposed to happen if teammates can't do a "high-five" after a nice shot or a T.D.?
Not to mention, "knuckles" - you know, try to smack the other guy's knuckles with your own before he can pull his had away?

That shit is all banned at this moron school.

Maybe those dumb fucks should talk to "Michael Jackson's Personal Bubble Supplier to the Stars" and see if they can get an enclosure for each student. Physically bar them from even accidently bumping into each other. Gawd forbid Billy's elbow accidentally touches Sally's tit walking down the hallway. Or little Johnny were to spontaneously slap Bart on the back for telling a funny joke.





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Another Worthless Study

Study finds dolphins speaking "Welsh" dialect

Reuters - Thu May 24, 12:57 PM ET

BANGOR (Reuters) - Dolphins living off the coast of Wales whistle, bark and groan in a different dialect from dolphins off the western coast of Ireland, scientists have discovered.
[...]

Good gawd. You people and your damn fish. Get a fucking life and quit wasting grant money on stupid shit. Try something useful for a change.



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Last One Of The Day

Before I sign off...



B'yuk.




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WOOHOO!

Alzheimer's vaccine works on mice: Japan scientist

Thu Mar 29, 2:49 AM ET

TOKYO (Reuters) - Japanese scientists have developed an oral vaccine for Alzheimer's disease that has proven effective and safe in mice, the director of a research institute behind the project said on Thursday.
[...]

Good news! Now they can remember where the cheese is!

Yeah, I know. Hardee-har.


shuddup.



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Damn Canuks

Owners frantic over pets amid pet food recall

By Anupreeta Das Tue Mar 20, 6:55 PM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A massive pet food recall has touched a nerve with pet-loving Americans, many of whom see their pets as family members.

The recalled products, manufactured by Menu Foods of Ontario, Canada, account for 1 percent of pet food sold in the United States, the Food and Drug Administration has said.
[...]

They're trying to get to us through our pets now...

Where's that tin foil? I lost my hat.



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Just An F.Y.I.

All you northerners and nor' easterners who have been dealing with temps hovering in the teens and barely above:
I had to turn on my A/C last night it was so friggin' warm in the house.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

" Do you want your dick be even more attractive than your face?"

The only response this one gets is a picture:

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Shit! I Missed It!

Yesterday was

Steak And BJ Day

Maybe I get get Mrs. Curmudgeon to make up for it today.


Update: Well, Mrs C and I went out to dinner last night and I had a big, juicy steak.

End of story.


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BWAH!

Hard-core porn interrupts news show

AP - Wed Mar 14, 9:29 PM ET

MESA, Ariz. - A cable news program was temporarily replaced with hard-core pornography, shocking viewers who had been watching a health show featuring former NBC News anchor Tom Brokaw. The incident Monday night on KPPX-TV was "an act of human sabotage" at the Phoenix-area station, said ION Television, which operates the station.
[...]

I've got five bucks says someone is looking for a job.




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Fat Chance

Something's fishy about $1,000 New York pizza

Reuters - Wed Mar 14, 9:28 PM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A New York restaurateur has cooked up the world's most extravagant pizza -- a $1,000 (516 pound) pie topped with six kinds of caviar and fresh lobster.
[...]

You can sugar coat a dog turd, but it's still a dog turd.

Not that pizza is shitty, but there just ain't no pizza worth one thousand dollars.
They're taking perfectly good beer food and fucking it all up here. Not to mention putting lobster on a pizza. Sinful.

Lobster should be treated with more respect. Broiled, dipped in drawn butter, savored bite by bite, ... Mmmmmmmm.

I think I just got a woody.




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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Turn back the clock"

GAWDAMMIT!! I JUST TURNED IT FORWARD!!!

Oh. Not that clock.




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Another One Bites The Dust

Back in November I wrote about the Stardust going the way of most older casinos here in town.
Well, they blew the fucker all to hell Monday night.

Go here and take a look at the pictures.

Sorta sad. Not only are we losing all the old-school casinos to the new 'mega-resorts', I did a stint as a bus boy there once when I was hard up for a job.





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This Day In History

Happy Friggin' B'day Al:

1879 : ALBERT EINSTEIN BORN:

On March 14, 1879, Albert Einstein is born, the son of a Jewish
electrical engineer in Ulm, Germany. Einstein's theories of special
and general relativity drastically altered man's view of the universe,
and his work in particle and energy theory helped make possible
quantum mechanics and, ultimately, the atomic bomb.
[...]

Wanna have Albert write something for you? Go here.



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"gunnysack mite"

Yeah, those things can be a bitch.
Especially if you're a hillbilly making your own clothes.



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Twins

Now here's a photo of Paris and Brittney that I'll bet you haven't seen before.

Careful now, they're NEKKID!
[+/-] show/hide the twins









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To Kill A Mockingbird

Yes. I will. That fucker sits in the tree and fucking sqawks again tonight like it did last night, the pellet gun will be used.

It's been nice here lately. high 70's to mid 80's. So i left the window open last night.
Well, around three in the fucking a.m., that thing decides it's lonely. Starts making all sorts of chirps, trills, whistles, ... you name it, that spawn of the devil spouted it.

Now you would think that several rocks hurled at it say, warp six would have made it think it was time to move on. Well, you would be wrong for thinking that. "Mock"ingbird? Exactly. The more rocks I threw, the more noise it made.

Bastard.



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"Can you hit the lamp"

Innate enough. But the text says:

"Squirt clear across the room..."

I don't care who ya' are. Thas' funny.



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A Funny

Via email:

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."