Spam Subject of the Day

"Vulcan!"

Hey! How did you know I was a trekkie?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asshole? Me?

I am 68% Asshole/Bitch.

I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em.

Take the
Asshole/Bitch Test
@ FualiDotCom

I didn't think I was that bad of a grumpy old bastard.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Friggin' B'day To Me!!!

Yup, I am a year older today. I expect you will post your greetings and well wishes in the comments...





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Rrrready to go rrrright now!"

Get 'em tiger!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Funny

Sherri sent me these apparel pictures, and I just wanted to share them with the world:


































Thankws again Sherri!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Drunken man caught humping goat"

ALLAH BE PRAISED!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sieg Heil Mein Allah!

From the July 23 edition of CNN Headline News' Glenn Beck, whilst interviewing Ben Stein:

STEIN: I want -- I'm glad you brought up this Denver thing. I don't like the idea of Senator Obama giving his acceptance speech in front of 75,000 wildly cheering people. That is not the way we do things in political parties in the United States of America. We have a contained number of people in an arena. Seventy-five-thousand people at an outdoor sports palace, well, that's something the Fuehrer would have done. And I think whoever is advising Senator Obama to do this is bringing up all kinds of very unfortunate images from the past.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Funny

From Miss Sassy:

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother,

"Frank Brown showed me his willy today!"

Before the mother could flip a cookie, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut!"

Relaxing a little, with a hidden smile, Sally's Mum asked, "Really small was it?"

Sally replied, "No...salty!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Shot In The Arm

Va. executes killer who challenged injections
Thu Jul 24, 11:28 PM ET

JARRATT, Va. - A killer who argued Virginia's procedures for lethal injection were unconstitutional was executed Thursday after a federal appeals court upheld the primary method of capital punishment in the nation's second-busiest death chamber.
[...]

That oughtta shut 'im up.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Swim faster!!!"

Flooding feared along U.S.-Mexico border from Dolly
Thu Jul 24, 6:17 PM ET

BROWNSVILLE, Texas (Reuters) - Hurricane Dolly, which lashed the U.S.-Mexico coastline, weakened to a tropical depression on Thursday over South Texas, but concern remained over flooding along the populous Rio Grande Valley.
[...]

Make the Rio Grande a bit wider and faster? Works for me.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"As seen on Oprah Natures #1 Superfood!"

What's that, donuts?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

World Tour '08

Nobama:



Works for me!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Obama sex tape"

Good gawd. Yeah, that's really something I'd wanna see.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From The "No Shit" Files

Traffic deaths fall as gas prices climb
Tue Jul 22, 5:10 PM ET

COLUMBUS, Ohio - Rising prices at the gas pump appear to be having at least one positive effect: Traffic deaths around the country are plummeting, just as they did during the Arab oil embargo three decades ago.
[...]

Well, duh. Less cars on the road means less people driving like fucking morons and bumping into each other. It must have taken a fucking rocket surgeon to figger that one out!

Hey! I know! Let's lower the speed limit to 55 again! That will fix everything!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Wanna be cool"

Uh, not since 3rd grade.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Largest asss in the world"

Who, Oprah?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good For The Goose?

Hippie - Hippo - Hippa - Demo - crit:

Laugh Factory owner: Jackson should pay for N-word

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- When Michael Richards stunned a nightclub audience two years ago by shouting the N-word at a black patron, Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada was quick to join the Rev. Jesse Jackson in calling for a ban on the word's use.

Now that Jackson has let the word slip out, Masada says he wants the civil rights leader to do what comics do every time they say the word on a Laugh Factory stage - pay a fine.

"Unfortunately, Jesse Jackson has broken his own principles," Masada told The Associated Press on Thursday. "Jesse embraced the notion of fining talent for using such a word and he should be held to his own standards."

Fox News confirmed Thursday that Jackson used the word during a break in a TV interview when he criticized Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.

Jackson, who is traveling in Spain, apologized in a statement Wednesday for "hurtful words" but didn't offer specifics.

Masada said he fines comics $50 for every time they use the word in their act, and he wants Jackson to pay the same amount, to the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles.

Masada banned use of the word at his nightclubs shortly after Richards' outburst, and although he said several comics still use it in their act, he added that they are quick to pay the fines to charity.

That cracks me the hell up. Good luck collecting on that one.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fucking Fucked Up Fucker

Good gawd-a-mighty. Harry Reid is the stupidist fuckstain to grace the gathering that is OUR senate since ... well, Pelosi:

"SEN. HARRY REID (D-NV), MAJORITY LEADER: Coal makes us sick. Oil makes us sick. It is global warming. It is ruining our country. It is ruining our world. We have got to stop using fossil fuel."

Yes, we all recall him saying that. And the fact that he's the senator from Nevada makes me just want to fucking puke.

But check out this dig Newt got in:

GINGRICH: Well, look, I was just in Las Vegas. Las Vegas is a city which does not exist without tourism, and Harry Reid's policies [are] destroying the airlines. Las Vegas is a city which does not exist air-conditioning. And Harry Reid's policies are going to drive the price of electricity sky-high.

Las Vegas does not exist without the automobile. And Harry Reid's policy is going to bankrupt Las Vegas. At some point, people in Nevada have to turn to Harry Reid and say, look, if you can produce a magic vehicle tomorrow morning running on hydrogen, we are thrilled. But, in the interim, don't bankrupt us.

So Harry - what about it, hmmmm? Any thoughts on this?





The rest here:Interview With Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Someone Needs To Try This

5 minute chocolate cake.

Who knows? I could work for a quick sweettooth fix.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Tired of trying to find a date ?"

Naw, I gave up on that. It pisses my wife off too bad.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Describe your day"

Well, it all started with deleting a bunch of fucking SPAM! ...



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oblama-bama-bo-bama

I'm guessing by now you've all seen the cartoon from the "New Yorker" depicting Obam-bam as towelhead and his wife as a militant. If not, here it is again for your convenience:



You're welcome.

Anyway, a bit of a thought here - isn't it just typical of a Muslim to get all bent out of shape over a fucking cartoon.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, That'll Work

Good gawd. Washington D.C. just don't get it:

District Gun Registration Starts Tomorrow

D.C. police will start the gun registration process at 7 a.m. tomorrow, when it opens an office at police headquarters at 300 Indiana Ave. NW.

It is the start of the 180-day amnesty period in which residents may register handguns they have had illegally, or guns from other states.

An officer from the gun unit will meet the applicant at the door and take temporary possession of the gun to ensure safety at headquarters.

Officers will tag the gun and run ballistics tests before returning it to the owner. Paperwork indicating that registration is in process will be provided.

About 14 days later, after an FBI background check, the gun will be officially registered.

I'm sure everyone who has used a gun to commit a crime will (A) Bring their gun in to get confiscated registered, and (B) Submit themselves to a background check.

What a bunch of fucking maroons. They just keep making it harder for the good guys to possess them.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Scene From The Not Too Distant Future

City Hall, San Francisco:

"Next."

"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."

"Names?"

"Tim and Jim Jones."

"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."

"Yes, we're brothers."

"Brothers? You can't get married."

"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"

"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"

"Incest?" No, we are not gay."

"Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."

"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."

"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."

"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"

"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."

"Hi. We are here to get married."

"Names?"

"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."

"Who wants to marry whom?"

"We all want to marry each other."

"But there are four of you!"

"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."

"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."

"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"

"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."

"Since when are you standing on tradition?"

"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."

"Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"

"All right, all right. Next."

"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."

"In what names?"

"David Deets."

"And the other man?"

"That's all. I want to marry myself."

" Marry yourself? What do you mean?"

"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."

"That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!"

Thanks again sk!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"No More Unsightly Stretch Marks"

Well, I expect some stretch marks after taking all that V1@gra you've been selling me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Clinton found hanged in bedroom"

Good gawd. Don't go getting my hopes up.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Osama-bama-bo-bama

Well, maybe not the most tasteful billboard ever, but it does make a good point.

[...]
The company that owns the billboard, Beech Outdoor Advertising, views it as a fundamental first amendment issue and for that reason wouldn't censor the ad. The billboard will be up until after the November election.
[...]

Full story here: WFTV.Com


Update: I just went over to Beatty Buzzzz's blog which is a new to me blog, and she had this picture posted:



I hope she don't mind too bad that I stole it, but it will be worth the ass chewin' if she did.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whatta Maroon

So I go to the grocery store Sunday to pick up a few things for Sunday dinner.

I get the things bought and unload them from the cart into the back of the truck. My usual M.O. is to put the sacks in the bed of the truck. Easy to load, easy to unload.
Well, the groceries are all in the truck and I hit the button on the remote to unlock the door. Pull on the door handle and it's still locked. Hit the button again, nothing. Shit. I'm of course wondering what the hell is going on, whereupon I notice that something seems to look a little different... something on the inside of the truck, the interior, something doesn't look quite right. Then I notice that right next to the truck is another truck that looks just like this one. I try the remote again and behold! The other unlocks!

So I ever so meekly, unload the groceries from the back of whoever's truck I loaded them in, and transfer them to the truck right next to it and go on my merry way.

Good gawd. I'll bet no one has ever done that before.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Weekend In Review

What a hoot. Cactus Mark and his lovely bride (well, he thought so until they had to turn around and come back for something they forgot) came up for a visit.

We had an awesome dinner at Lucille's , then had the usual billiards, bullshitting and brews session.

Saturday involved more bullshitting, brewing and drinking beer, cooking some food on the smoker, and later on a duet by "The Dookie Brothers". Yeah, we may have sounded like shit to record producers, but for never having played together before - me on the drums and he on the guitar, I think we did just fine. And we had a good time.

The main purpose of the trip was the retrieval of 'Frankenpony'.
I had made a rocking horse which was supposed to be ridden in a race by a member of administration from Mrs Curmudgeon's work at a Kentucky Derby party. When the event was canceled, the horse was up for grabs. I knew Mark's wife wanted one, so they made a trip up to get it.

If you're interested, go to Mark's blog and take a look. It has a post-construction modification, but we are now sure of the gender. :)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Afghan bombing kills President Bush"

Uh, yeah.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More On Illegal Immigration

'In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...
And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.'

- Theodore Roosevelt 1907

Just because we need to be reminded now and then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Detoxify your body"

Yup. Every morning about 6 o'clock.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And We Care... Why Exactly?

Backlog of DNA samples may hamper JonBenet case
Thu Jul 10, 5:32 PM ET

DENVER - Unless he has another brush with the law someday and a DNA sample is taken from him, JonBenet Ramsey's killer might never be caught.
[...]

Good gawd. Who gives a flying fuck? This is an old case where a girl got killed. No one even cares any more. When her parents were let off the hook, I'm guessing most people thought "Big fucking deal."

It was probably the perv they busted in China or Taiwan or whereverthe fuck it was.

There are plenty of other newsworthy items nowdays for news idiots to obsess on, such as Britney Spears' divorce, rehab, etc., and her sister plopping out a kid and fucking iPhones going on sale. Give it a rest already.

However, through the miracle of age progression technology, we can get an idea of what she would eventually end up looking like had she lived a few more years:





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What The Hell

For the troops:

To support the troops, HBO and its corporate partners are donating products that our troops most frequently request. Visit www.genkilltroopdrive.com and added one product to our shipment — free of charge. Click here and you can select an item to add to HBO's care packages — at no cost to you. Simply log on and click to contribute.

"Generation Kill," a seven-part original miniseries, premieres Sunday, July 13 at 9pm, only on HBO.

I signed on and sent something. Hopefully, they won't be sending a bunch of spam now.

We'll see how it works, eh Sherri?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Your guide to successful adultery"

What? That's agin' the preachin's of the bible, no?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ask The Curmudgeon

DEAR CURMUDGEON: I bet you've never gotten a letter like this before. I'm a 25-year-old man who's in love with one of my best friends, "Tom." (Yes, we're both male.) I'm not only in love with him, we're lovers. Tom is married to a woman named "Maria," but theirs was just a "for show" marriage because Tom's job is the type that would benefit from a "trophy wife." Maria knows about me and has no objections. I am fairly certain that Maria is also having an affair, though I'm not sure. As you can imagine, the two of us aren't exactly buddies, though we don't dislike each other. Here's the problem: I get jealous. Tom and Maria act like they're in love when they're in public, and even though I know it's fake, it bothers me. Let me stress that Maria and I have an understanding, so it's not that I feel guilty or think that Tom might leave me for her. (Neither of them loves the other and they both know it.) I don't want to make trouble by asking them to get divorced, but I really don't know what to do. Any advice?

--- UNREASONABLY JEALOUS

DEAR FAGGOT: Get your gun out, put the barrel in your cocksucker, and scatter the back of your twisted fucking skull all over the wallpaper in your sick gawd-damn den of love.

The sissy-boy married to the woman for convenience should also do the same. You two shouldn't be doing sick shit like that in the first place, and his wife is a fucking idiot for going along with his little game. All three of you should be put the fuck down for your dumbass relationship and pathetic situation.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pump This

Brothel offers customers gas rebate

(Reuters) - A Nevada brothel is trying to stimulate business by offering free gasoline.

Clients of the Shady Lady Ranch will get a $50 gas voucher if they fork out $300 -- worth about one hour's worth of services -- at the brothel in Beatty, Nevada, 130 miles northwest of Las Vegas.
[...]

Well, you do what ya' gotta do to drum up business.

Of course, a feller would burn $50 in gas to get to the place, so the whores better be worth the trip.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why You Wanna Keep A Brother Down?

Jesse Jackson says Obama "talking down" to blacks
[...]
In an aside to another guest after a Fox News Channel interview on Sunday, Jackson had said Obama had been talking down to black people and added: "I want to cut his nuts out."
[...]

That is so fucking funny. The 'reverend' Jesse Jackass got busted talking smack about Obama-bama-fo-fama. Cracks me the hell up it does.

I wonder what the good reverend Al Sharpton had to say about it?




As a follow-up:

Obama accepts Jackson's apology for crude remark
[...]
"For any harm or hurt that this hot mic private conversation may have caused, I apologize," he [Jesse Jackass] said in a written apology released Wednesday. "My support for Sen. Obama's campaign is wide, deep and unequivocal."
[...]

What a guy. [sob]


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"I screwed this hot babe"

Great. Now you're trying to screw me.

Fuck off.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Global Bullshit

Mount Shasta glaciers growing, despite warming

Tue Jul 8, 6:24 PM ET

MOUNT SHASTA, Calif. - Global warming is shrinking glaciers all over the world, but the seven tongues of ice creeping down Mount Shasta's flanks are a rare exception: They are the only long-established glaciers in the lower 48 states that are growing.
[...]

How can that be, what with all those wildfires burning out there?

Well, everything else in KKKalifornia is bass-ackwards. It don't surprise me that this is too.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Holy Batshit Robin!

Call the commissioner:

Top Democrat may back new offshore drilling: report

1 hour, 10 minutes ago

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A top U.S. Democratic senator said in a newspaper interview published Wednesday that he would consider supporting opening up new areas for offshore oil and gas drilling.
[...]

A dem saying they might, maybe, possibly support exploration for oil here at home? The apocalypse it nigh my brothers and sisters.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Touch her heart with your new babymaker."

BWAH!!! That one gave me a giggle.

I'm sure they meant touch it from the inside, no?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Global worming solution"

Finally! A solution to cure worms everywhere!

Yes, go back and read it again.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Funny

Some excuses cops have actually received when they ask the motorist: "Why were you speeding?"

"I didn't know I was, because my lights are off."

"I'm taking my friend to the hospital. He has alcohol poisoning." (The driver was drunk, too).

After crashing: "I put supreme gas in the car, which caused me to lose control." (He, too, was found to be drunk.)

"Don't I get a couple over when I am taking my grandkids to the airport?"

"I get 10 extra in the fast lane."

"My speedometer is broken."

"Gas pedal got stuck."

"I'm trying to catch that UFO. Can you try to catch it for me?"

"I had a bee in the car."

"I am late for church and don't want to go to hell."

"I have been drinking and want to get off the road quickly."

"I'm going to a divorce proceeding and if you met her, sir, you would understand why I am hurrying."

"I am wearing really heavy shoes today and they make the gas pedal go down more."

"I just got my license back from it being suspended and I am not used to driving."

"My doctor gave me the wrong meds."

Good gawd. Fucking idiots.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

" Dogs eat human remains"

Yup. That's why they ain't allowed on the bed.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Independance Day All!

I posted this about this time last year, and I like it so I'm going to just copy it and post it again this year.

Anyway, I hope you all have a great Independence Day. Toss back a cold one, chew on a hot dog, a burger, maybe an ear of corn while visiting with friends and/or family.

In the meantime, try to ignore all that fucking loud, obnoxious "4TH OF JULY BLOWOUT", "HOT DEALS ON COOL WHEELS", "INDEPENDENCE DAY SELL-ABRATION" bullshit which nowadays is seemingly the basis of the holiday.

Instead, try to remember why exactly the hell we have the day off:

















It wasn't an easy task, but I sure as hell appreciate it.


"Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined."

-Patrick Henry





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"Is it hard"

Damn tootin!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

o-BAM!-a

Well, we already know Obama-rama-fo-fama is a fucking idiot. But get a load of this:

"Obama: Off The Teleprompter Is A Blathering Idiot"

Uh, say what?

Tha's funny. I don't care who y'are.



Hat tip Mr. Schlong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

More On The Pussification Of The American Male

’Man showers’ become popular for pre-wedding bond

When Jonathan Morris’ daughter was planning her wedding, he thought the groom was getting overlooked. So he planned a guys-only "man shower" to welcome Brian Wigand into the family.

The party included manly snacks, games and gifts.

"It seemed like there was a lot of hoopla for the ladies and not too much for the guys," said Morris of Maple Valley, Wash. "It was really fun, male bonding."
[...]

Fucking moron.

'Man Shower'? Not only is he a fucking moron, he is whiney-assed fucking pussy. Man up, you piece of shit. 'Man shower'? Give me a break.

Look, your daughter is getting married, you want to throw a party for the groom and the boys, go ahead and do it. Have a bachelor party, a kegger, whateverthefuck kind of party you want to throw. But don't be a crybaby and complain the wife is getting all the goods.

I'll bring a gift such as a six-pack, a cigar, a deck of cards, a nasty movie or maybe even a stripper. We'll have a good time. But I ain't going to go bringing a present, and I sure as hell ain't going to sit there and watch someone open other people's presents whilst ooo'ing and ahhhh'ing.

If someone was to offer up a "Man shower" on my behalf, I would have to kick their sissy fucking ass.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From The 'Bad Idea' Department

Woman crashes into store then tries to buy beer
Tue Jul 1, 9:31 PM ET

NORWALK, Calif. - A convenience store became an unwilling drive-in when a 74-year-old woman plowed her car through the front window and then tried to buy a six-pack of Budweiser, police and the owner said.
[...]

What? You've never done that?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Not My Yob, Main"

Video shows woman dying on Brooklyn hospital floor

NEW YORK - City hospital officials agreed in court Tuesday to implement reforms at a psychiatric ward where surveillance footage showed a woman falling from her chair, writhing on the floor and dying as workers failed to help for more than an hour.

Esmin Green, 49, had been waiting in the emergency room for nearly 24 hours when she toppled from her seat at 5:32 a.m. on June 19, falling face down on the floor.

She was dead by 6:35, when someone on the medical staff, flagged down by a person in the waiting room, finally approached, nudged Green with her foot, and gently prodded her shoulder, as if to wake her. The staffer then left and returned with someone wearing a white lab coat who examined her and summoned help.

Until the staffer's appearance, Green's collapse barely caused a ripple. Other patients waiting a few feet away didn't react. Security guards and a member of the hospital's staff appeared to notice her prone body at least three times, but made no visible attempt to see if she needed help.

One guard didn't even leave his chair, rolling it around a corner to stare at the body, then rolling away a few moments later.
[...]

Now I'm not even going to come close enough to piss on advocating socialized medicine here, but some people in the medical field make waaaaaay too much money to let shit like this happen.

We all know some doctors make way more than they should. But nurses nowadays can make up to $50 per hour for doing nothing more than writing documentation and delegating tasks to L.P.N.'s, aides or candy-stripers, while they themselves sit on their fat, predominantly foreign asses at the nurse's station and ignore the signaling button from patients' rooms, complaining about how they're understaffed instead of maybe checking the status of someone laying on the floor.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying all nurses are lazy. There are some with standards and scruples who do care about patient care. But it seems these are the exception to the rule.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spam Subject of the Day

"chicks go crazy"

No shit there, Einstein.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hang Up And Drive

So I hear there's a new "Hands Free" Cell phone bill going into effect today:

New hands-free law goes into effect today
[...]
It is against the law beginning today to drive a vehicle using a handheld cell phone, or for drivers under 18 to use a cell phone at all while driving. There are exceptions for emergencies, including calling public safety agencies or health-care providers.
[...]

Hey! I was right!

I guess if you're 18 or older, you can still use your phone to send text messages. Yeah. That makes sense.

I wonder how long it will take the rest of the country to enact the same law? Can't be too far down the road.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

T.M.I.

Ever care to know more about what your birth year than is really necessary? Well, go here and find it out.

Here's a bit of my info:

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/28/1960 and ending 2/14/1961.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Rat.

Whatever.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Salmon; your plant is Raspberry.

Hmmm. I really like salmon. And raspberries. Raspberries are yummy.

As of 7/1/2008 4:20:57 PM EDT
You are 47 years old.
You are 576 months old.
You are 2,501 weeks old.
You are 17,503 days old.
You are 420,088 hours old.
You are 25,205,300 minutes old.
You are 1,512,318,057 seconds old.

1,512,318,057 seconds?

Celebrities who share your birthday:

Hilary Swank (1974)	Brad Hargreaves (1972)
Vivica A. Fox (1964)	Lisa Kudrow (1963)
Delta Burke (1956)	Jean Reno (1948)
Paul Anka (1941)	Peter Bogdanovich (1939)
Edd 'Kookie' Byrnes (1933)	Thomas Sowell (1930)
Henry Ford (1863)	Emily Bronte (1818)
Tom Green (1971)	Kate Bush (1958)
Arnold Schwarzenegger (1947)	Casey Stengel (1891)

Buddy Guy is the shit when it comes to blues.

Top songs of 1960

Theme from A Summer Place- Percy Faith
It's Not Or Never by Elvis Presley
Stuck On You by Elvis Presley
Save the Last Dance for Me by Drifters
My Heart Has a Mind of Its Own by Connie Francis
Teen Angel by Mark Dinning
Teen Angel by Mark Dinning
Running Bear by Johnny Preston
Cathy's Clown by Everly Brothers
Are You Lonesome Tonight? by Elvis Presley

Elvis? Who is this 'Elvis' you speak of? A busy dude according to that list.

Just kidding.

Anyway, there you have it. Go see yours now.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quote of the Day

From the comments here.

"EVERYONE is psychotic. Otherwise, why would we have douchebag vs turd sandwich every 4 years for president. I'M THE ONLY PERSON who is not psychotic, and I'm a sociopath."

BWAH!



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More On ANWR

I received this via email, but if you poke around a bit, you can see it scattered around AlGoresWeb.

First, do you know what ANWR is?
ANWR = Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

Now, a comparison:

Some perspective:

Note where the proposed development area is (it's in the "ANWR Coastal Plain"):


This is what the democrats, liberals and "greens" show you when they talk about ANWR. And they are right, these ARE photographs of ANWR:






Isn't ANWR beautiful? Why should we drill here (and destroy) this beautiful place?
Well, they're not being quite truthful.

Do you remember the map? The map showed that the proposed drilling area is in the ANWR Coastal Plain. Do those photographs look like a coastal plain to you?

The answer is simple. That is not where they are wanting to drill! This is what the proposed exploration area actually looks like in the winter:


And this is what it actually looks like in the summer:



Here are a couple screen shots from Google Earth:




As you can see, the area where they are talking about drilling is a barren wasteland.

Oh, and they say that they are concerned about the effect on the local wildlife. Here is a photo (shot during the summer) of the "depleted wildlife" situation created by drilling around Prudhoe Bay*.

How bad do you really think the caribou hate that drilling?

Here's that same spot during the winter:


This bear seems to really hate the pipeline near Prudhoe Bay*:


Now, why do you think democrats and libtards are making such a stink about ANWR?

The email goes on to make this statement:

"Remember when Al Gore said that the government should work to artificially raise gas prices to $5.00 a gallon?
Well Al Gore and his fellow democrats have almost reached their goal!"

I could find nothing to substantiate Al Gore making that statement, so take it as you may.

But, in fairness, here is a point/counterpoint:

Opponents of the drilling say that capturing the petroleum in ANWAR will not solve any U.S. oil crisis so why risk the harm to wildlife there? Specifically, they say that the exploration and drilling activities would take place in the refuge's most vital areas for such as calving grounds for the porcupine caribou herd and den locations for one of America's two polar bear populations. They are especially concerned about the impact of any oil spills on the area, which they contend could affect the entire ecosystem.

Supporters of drilling in ANWAR argue that the U.S. needs to use domestic petroleum and that ANWAR could supply gas and oil for 30 to 50 years. The point to the massive oil fields at nearby Prudhoe Bay and say that drilling there has not negatively affected wildlife. The Central Arctic caribou herd is friendly with the facilities and has grown from 3,000 to as high as 27,000 over the past 20 years. Additionally, they say, drilling activity in ANWR would be during the winter months when such wildlife as the caribou are not there.

The fact is, libtards and granola-munching libtards don't have a fucking clue. They pass along misinformation because it makes them feel good to do so. Until they actually go visit the area, maybe live there a year and see exactly what happens there with wildlife and the environment, they should just shut their fucking traps.


*The Prudhoe bay area accounts for 17% of U.S. domestic oil production

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