"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

A Funny

It was once said that a black man would be president when pigs flew. Well behold 100 days into his presidency.... swine flu.





Thanks Sassy!


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Oink II

Keep fiddling mother fuckers:
Biden tells family to stay off planes, subways
8 minutes agoSent 175 times

WASHINGTON - Joe Biden said Thursday he advised his family to stay off airplanes and subways because of the new swine flu, a remark that forced the vice president's office to backtrack and prompted one airline official to complain about "fear-mongering."
[...]
Yup. Everyone should walk to work.

If you live several miles away and have to commute, maybe you should start walking the night before to make sure you get to work on time so you can earn your pay in order to keep PAYING YOUR FUCKING TAXES!!!

Or, you could drive your car. But then that would be very environmentally friendly now would it?


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BWAH!!!

Sorry, but the headline grabbed me:
Girl beats off muggers with marching band baton
Thu Apr 30, 7:41 AM ETSent 1,136 times

QUARTZ HILL, Calif. - Don't mess with a marching band girl, especially one armed with a baton. A 17-year-old high school marching band student beat up two assailants who tried to mug her as she walked to school in this high desert community about 40 miles north of Los Angeles, sheriff's officials said Tuesday.
[...]
Bah, who cares about the article. Sometimes the headline stands on its own.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"If watering your device doesn't help it grow we know what does"
Maybe that's been my problem all along!



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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Fuck Me.

What the hell is the world coming to?:
Students suspended for making slingshots

PITTSBURGH, April 28 (UPI) -- A Pittsburgh elementary school said five fourth-graders were suspended on weapons charges for making slingshots from pencils, rubber bands and paper clips.

Principal Kathi Shirey of Fawn Elementary School said a teacher and three students were hit by paper clips launched from the slingshots, created by the children from their school supplies, WPXI-TV, Pittsburgh, reported. The teacher and students were not injured.

"Everyone uses pencils while in school, but you would never think someone would use them to create a weapon, but that's exactly how the district sees it," Shirey said. "It's an object that could have caused serious injury."

The principal said the school district could have expelled the students for an entire school year, but due to their ages, they were only suspended for one day and one of their scheduled field trips was taken away.

However, Melanie Chelko, mother of one of the suspended students, said the punishment was still too harsh.

"This was not a weapon to them. This was a toy," she said.

Chelko said her son "came home and cried for three hours on the couch because he was suspended. That was torment enough for him."
Next they'll be making hand grenades out of snow and launching them at other innocent children. And cars. And windows.

At least when I made shit like that in school I had enough sense to not shoot the damn things at the teacher.

Dumb fucks.



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From The "No Shit" Files

Report: Most Americans in areas with unhealthy air
Wed Apr 29, 6:28 AM ET

LOS ANGELES - Sixty percent of Americans live in areas with unhealthy air pollution levels, despite a growing green movement and more stringent laws aimed at improving air quality, the American Lung Association said in a report released Wednesday.[...]
It took a real rocket surgeon to figger that one out.

Let's see. Most people live in populated areas, so there are more cars, more factories, more bbqs, more businesses, more buses, ergo, more pollution.

What a waste of fucking bytes this article is.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"If your dress doesn,t fit you , Lipothin is your choice!"
The dress is fine. It's the shoes and girdle I'm having trouble with.



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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Ugh

NYPD officers face rape charges
27 minutes ago

NEW YORK - A New York police officer called to help a drunken woman get home safely has been accused of raping her as she lay face down in her bed, semiconscious and covered in vomit while his partner acted as a lookout, prosecutors said Tuesday.
[...]
What's the problem? He got her home, right?

Just kidding. She's probably just pissed because he wrote her a ticket or some shit.


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It's Okay, It's Alright

Swine flu spreads to Israel, New Zealand

5 minutes ago

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - The new strain of swine flu virus that has killed 149 people in Mexico spread to more countries on Tuesday, raising the specter of a pandemic and hurting financial markets and airline stocks.
[...]
You don't suppose al Queda or taliban had anything to do with it, do you?

Just be sure and trust the government when they tell you everything will be fine. After all, they take care of everything else so wonderfully.





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Spam Subject of the Day

"Dive into the deep ocean of plesaure and passion."
No thanks. Not that fond of the water.



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Monday, April 27, 2009

Proper Conversions

This is a tool that has taken way too long to be manufactured:


The next time your buddy tells you to "move it a cunthair to the left", you won't have to guess!!


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Quick Post

Just thought I would show you folks the view from my porch last Saturday night:





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Time To Outlaw Tools?

I'll bet he didn't even feel anything after the first 30 or 40:
An X-ray shows multiple nails embedded of the skull of 27-year-old Chen (Anthony) Liu that homicide squad detectives allege were fired from a high-powered nail gun in this police handout image made available April 24, 2009. Police believe Chen, whose decomposing body was discovered in Sydney's Georges River in November 2008, was killed by being shot repeatedly in the head with a high-powered nail gun. REUTERS/New South Wales Police/Handout
Gee. Ya think?

Imagine that. People can kill each other without using an evil firearm. How is this even possible?




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Awesome!

The next great thing to come out of Mexico:

Mexican swine flu spreads to U.S., Europe

13 minutes ago

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - Governments around the world acted to stem a possible flu pandemic on Monday, as a virus that has killed 103 people in Mexico and spread to North America was confirmed to have reached Europe.
[...]
Wetbacks, drugs, and now a deadly virus. I can hardly wait to see what's next!



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Spam Subject of the Day

"Women always are ready to sleep with men who look rich."
I guess I'm shit outta luck then.



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Friday, April 24, 2009

Spam Subject of the Day

"Rules Schmules"
This fucknut actually has some logic.



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Thursday, April 23, 2009

A Funny

Via email:
A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just scratching his nuts -- something she seemed to love to do.

As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do you love doing that?'

'Because,' she replied, 'I really miss mine.'





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Score one For The Good Guys And The Constitution!

WOOHOO!!!
Citizens can challenge state, local gun laws

(04-20) 19:10 PDT San Francisco -- A federal appeals court ruled Monday that private citizens can challenge state and local gun laws by invoking the constitutional right to bear arms - the first such ruling in the nation - but upheld a ban on firearms at gun shows at the Alameda County Fairgrounds in Pleasanton.
[...]
The decision by the way, was 3-0.
While a few sections of the Bill of Rights apply only to the federal government, amendments that protect fundamental rights - including the Second Amendment - can be enforced against the states, said Judge Diarmuid O'Scannlain in the 3-0 decision.

"The right to bear arms is deeply rooted in the history and tradition of the republic," O'Scannlain said, citing selected passages from speeches and writings during the colonial and post-Revolutionary War period and the years leading up to the Civil War. "It is a means to protect the public from tyranny" as well as "to protect the individual from threats to life or limb."

Judge Ronald Gould, in a separate opinion, pictured a gun-wielding citizenry defending 21st century America against invaders or terrorists.

"That we have a lawfully armed populace adds a measure of security for all of us and makes it less likely that a band of terrorists could make headway in an attack on any community before more professional forces arrived," he said.
Hard to fathom that there are actually 3 intelligent people in San Fran, but I'm sure as hell glad there are.

X-post here:


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Fucking Hangovers

No, I'm talking about a fucking hangover, I'm talking about a fucking hangover:
FDA to allow 'morning-after' pill for 17-year-olds

WASHINGTON - Women's groups cheered the government's decision to allow 17-year-olds to buy the "morning-after" emergency contraceptive without a doctor's prescription, but conservatives denounced it as a blow to parental supervision of teens.
[...]
I wish they would have had that shit when I was a punk-assed kid back in the day. I could have had a lot more action with a lot less worry.

Of course this will put a serious dent in the early pregnancy test manufacturing business.


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Spam Subject of the Day

" Do you want to know me better?"
I wouldn't mind meeting you in a dark alley sometime.



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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

A Funny

Via email:
A guy says to his wife: "Darling, what would you do if I said I've won the lottery?"

Wife replies: "I'd take half then leave you."

Guy says: "Excellent! I had three numbers and won ten dollars. Here's five...
now fuck-off!





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How to Boil an Egg

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy
  • Step1 - Place the raw egg in a saucepan.
  • Step2 - Run cold water into the saucepan until the water is 1 inch above the egg.
  • Step3 - Place the saucepan on a stove and cook over medium heat until the water begins to boil.
  • Step4 - Reduce the heat to low.
  • Step5 - Simmer for 2 to 3 minutes for soft-boiled eggs or 10 to 15 minutes for hard-boiled eggs.
  • Step6 - Remove the egg with a spoon or ladle and let it cool slowly, or run cold water over it to cool it more quickly.


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Earth Day

I think I'll celebrate by leaving all the lights on and the A/C turned down to about 65 degrees. It is going to be hot here in L.V. today - pushing 95 or so. Damn that "Global Warming™".

Maybe I'll go home and change the oil in the truck and pour the old oil in the gutter. Or should I flush it down the toilet?

I really should cut down all those trees in the back yard too. Damn things are casting a shadow all over the yard so my grass won't grow.

Anyway, nuke a whale for Jeebus and don't forget to burn that tire!




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Spam Subject of the Day

"Show what you know with a Degree"
Let me get this straight. I buy a degree and I am qualified to do the job it it says I know how to do the degree?

Fucking magic I tell you.



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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Shattered

Readings show Four Corners marker off by 2.5 miles

Tourists who want to put a hand or foot in each of four states at the Four Corners area are apparently off the mark — by about 2.5 miles.

According to readings by the National Geodetic Survey, the Four Corners marker showing the intersection of Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico and Utah is about 2.5 miles west of where it should be.

The only place in the United States where four state boundaries come together was first surveyed by the U.S. government in 1868 during the initial survey of Colorado's southern boundary line.

The intended location was 109 degrees west longitude and 37 degrees north latitude. But, because of surveying errors, the popular tourist spot is a bit off.

The accurate location would be downhill to the east of U.S. 160 in Colorado and northeast of the San Juan River as it flows into New Mexico.
Well, sonuvabitch. Back in about, 1978 - yes, it was 1978. May as I recall, as that is when commencement exercises were.

I had just graduated from high school and was invited to tag along with my buddy on their family vacation. The head count consisted of me, my buddy, his sister, their parents, and the sister's friend. All traveling in a Ford F-250 pulling a trailer which was about a 35 footer. They were planning on traveling through southern Utah, New Mexico and Arizona for week.

We first went to the Grand Canyon North Rim which you approach coming down from southern Utah. Then we went across the canyon to the South Rim and checked it out.
From there to the Four Corners monument - which I'll get back to in a minute.

After Four Corners, we went on through and around to the northwestern corner of New Mexico, back into the northeast corner of Arizona through the the Painted Desert and Petrified Forest, south by Tucson and Phoenix, back up through Lake Havasu and home. We would find a campground or a vacant lot whenever we got a hankerin' to settle in for the evening. This being fairly early in the year yet, the desert wasn't too warm to be camping in, but the mountains were still a bit chilly. The entire trip took us about a week all told, and was one of the best vacations you could ask for.
Which, vacations are usually that way anyway.

So back to the Four Corners monument.
When we were there, it was a concrete slab in the middle of nowhere with a stell survey marker in the middle showing the intersection of the four states. You could easily miss if you weren't paying attention to the road signs.
You could park your vehicle about 20 feet away, get out and do the typical tourist thing, which, like the title to the article said, do a push-up in all four states. You would have your hands in two states and your toes in two others. I forget how my scenario went as to which limbs were where, but somewhere I have a picture.
You could then make a sandwich, take a leak, putter around a bit and hit the road again.

Now, from what I understand, the local indian tribes have decided there was gold in them there monuments, so they have made it a pay-per-view thing. You probably have to pay per vehicle, then pay per guest to see the monument. And chances are, they won't let you touch it.

Anyway, now that the marker apparently isn't where it should be, I guess I didn't have my limbs all in four different states. But you know what? I don't give a fuck. As far as I'm concerned, I did.



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I'll Scratch Your Eyes Out

Snagged from Mark's blog:




You Are a Cougar



You have more strength than most people, and with it, the ability to inflict a lot of harm.

Your power gives you confidence, and you find leading others to be easy.



You believe that you need to the best, and you are very driven to excel.

Most people immediately admire you, but some people feel very envious of your abilities.


I always wondered why when I look in the mirror in the mornings I see a cougar face looking back at me.


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Quote of the Day

From comments re waterboarding over @ C&S:
"Don't forget to burn a tire for earth day."
Gave me a good giggle it did.



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Spam Subject of the Day

" looking for well-paid job?USA!"
USA! UAS! USA!



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Monday, April 20, 2009

DO IT NOW!!!

If you're not already a member, click the link and get yourself a FREE
NRA Membership.
We need all the help we can get against Obamm-bamm and his gun subversive gun control methodology.



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Back In The Saddle Again

Yes, I'm finally back in town. WOOHOO!!!! you say.

Well, bro is doing somewhat fine. He had a bit of a setback yesterday but nothing serious. I've pretty much burned any vacation time I had so I had to go back to work. He should get out of the hospital around Friday if all goes well.

So what's new, other than the stupid fuck we have for president getting all cuddly and cozy with Hugo Chavez? You know Hugo. He 's the anti-American, communist, suppressive dictator from Venuzuela:
Chavez book pick rockets up bestseller lists AFP - Sun Apr 19, 2:45 PM ET Sent 102 times

PORT OF SPAIN (AFP) - A book accusing the United States of being a neo-colonial bully in the Americas has rocketed up the sales charts, after a copy was given as a gift by Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to US leader Barack Obama.
[...]

Oh, and it's April 20th today. As in 4-20. As in national stoner day.
All you tree-hugging, granola-munching, dope-smoking, libtard morons go ahead and continue doing what you do best and fire up a bowl, and us normal people will go ahead and continue doing what we do best. Laugh you idiots while trying to keep the world from falling apart at the seams and turning socialist.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"Russian women need a prince"
Nyet, komrad.



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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Silence

Just letting you all know, I'll be heading out of town again today and won't be back probably again until this weekend. So posting will be light if not non-existent.

Anyway, have fun!


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Spam Subject of the Day

"It melts every girl's ice"
What is it? Money! Of course!

I had a boss once who told me - loosely quoted: "Don't fuck with my money. You can take my house, my car, my wife, but don't take my money. If I have money, I can get a new house, new car, new wife..."


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Monday, April 13, 2009

Makes My Head Asplode - Updated

US captain's rescue raises stakes in piracy ops
1 hour, 11 minutes agoSent 222 times

KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - The killing of three Somali pirates in the dramatic U.S. Navy rescue of a cargo ship captain has sparked concern for other hostages and fears that the stakes have been raised for future hijackings in the busy Indian Ocean shipping lane.
[...]
Damn straight!
But of course, leave it to the libtard media to put a negative spin on a rescue mission from the country who does not negotiate.

It appears to me that they're saying hostages are in more danger now from pirates because we blew the kidnappers of the American captain out of the boat.

Well, maybe so. But I'm guessing pirates are going to be thinking twice about taking hostages in the future - especially from American ships - for fear of repercussion.

Updated: Just read this article at Fox news:

Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis., offered his praised of the military but also said that piracy had long been neglected by the Bush administration.

[...]
"For years, Somalia's growing instability was neglected by the Bush administration and the international community. The new administration must not make the same mistake."
[...]
Jeezus Kryst. What a fucknut. Once again, it's aaaaaaaaaall Bush's fault.

I noticed this morning that gas prices are creeping up again. You know, just like they have done every spring for the last _____ years. Now I don't in the least want to see the shit nearing the five dollar mark again, but I am all giddy with anticipation to see how the lefty-moron-demo-socialists spin it around to be Bush's fault when it does, and instead of Bush in office we have the fucking moron we have now.
I am not wondering at all if they will blame the high prices on Bush - that goes without saying. But I can't wait to hear how they spin it. They're probably already writing their speeches as I type.



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Bummer Dude

Citizens held as illegal immigrants
Sun Apr 12, 11:30 PM ET

Pedro Guzman has been an American citizen all his life. Yet in 2007, the 31-year-old Los Angeles native — in jail for a misdemeanor, mentally ill and never able to read or write — signed a waiver agreeing to leave the country without a hearing and was deported to Mexico as an illegal immigrant.
[...]
Oh well. So one slipped through the cracks. Better safe than sorry.



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Spam Subject of the Day

"I love you :)"
Ah, shucks. Now fuck off.



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Friday, April 10, 2009

I Heart Ann Coulter

Go read her latest column. It's basically what I say on a regular basis, only more eloquent:
[...]
It's something in liberals' DNA: They think they can pass a law eliminating guns and nuclear weapons, but teenagers having sex is completely beyond our control.

The demand for more gun control in response to any crime involving a gun is exactly like Obama's response to North Korea's openly belligerent act of launching a long-range missile this week: Obama leapt to action by calling for worldwide nuclear disarmament.

If the SAT test were used to determine how stupid a liberal is, one question would be: "The best defense against lawless rogues who possess _______ is for law-abiding individuals to surrender their own _______________."

Correct answer: Guns. We would also have accepted nuclear weapons.

Obama explained that "the United States has a moral responsibility" to lead disarmament efforts because America is "the only nuclear power to have used a nuclear weapon."
[...]





Pic stolen from The Hermit.

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Just A Reminder

I moved this post back up here to remind you all that me and Mark are posting political shit over at Obama's An Idiot . Be sure and check it out, and ddon't forget to add it to the 'roll.



Okay, that's it. No more constant political shit on this blog.
Yes, I may post something political now and then that the world needs to know about, but from here on out, everything is going to a new/old home:
Obama's An Idiot

This used to be my "Hillary Is An Idiot" blog. And don't get me wrong, Hitlary still is an idiot. But since she's been reigned in as a contender - at least for now, she isn't as dangerous as the president is. So I'll concentrate on him instead.

I'll post boring old personal stuff here. No, I won't let fags, wetbacks, idiots or other irritants get by without having my say, but I will limit comments about the Idiot-in-chief.




You're welcome.



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YO! - Update

Again I say, thanks for all the well wishes.
Bro's status is that he does have a small cancerous tumor near his kidney. The docs want to cut out the kidney and ureter, but not until next week. So I'll probably be going back down the S.D. when he goes under the knife.

Anyway, posting will be as regular or as sporadic as always until then.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"Women will stare at your bulge instead of your eyes."
Maybe I better empty my pants.



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Tuesday, April 07, 2009

YO!

Sorry for the lack of Spam Subject, but shit happens.
But I ain't dead Hermit, :).
Some health issues with my brother (Rich - for those of you who know him). The doctors in town sent him to San Diego VA hospital so they could do some tests, and me another brother and a cousin came down to keep him company. So posting will probably be sporadic for a week or so.

Anyway, I'll pop in and check things out now and then, but I plan on not doing much computing.


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Friday, April 03, 2009

Just So You Know

Once again, paranoid gun grabbers are trying to take away rights:
H.R. 45: Blair Holt's Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act of 2009
And here's a bunch more detail from Snopes:
In a nutshell, the Blair Holt bill would:

* Prohibit possession of any handguns or any semiautomatic firearms that can accept detachable ammunition-feeding devices (excluding antiques) by anyone who has not been issued a firearm license.

* Require all sales of those types of firearms to go through licensed dealers.

* Direct the Attorney General to establish and run a federal record-of-sale system.

* Require the possessors of firearms to secure them (by secure gun storage or safety devices) when they are kept in locales where children might be capable of gaining access to those firearms.

In order to be issued a firearm license under the provisions of the Blair Holt legislation, applicants would be required to submit the following information to the Attorney General:

1. a current, passport-sized photograph of the applicant that provides a clear, accurate likeness of the applicant

2. the name, address, and date and place of birth of the applicant

3. any other name that the applicant has ever used or by which the applicant has ever been known

4. a clear thumb print of the applicant, which shall be made when, and in the presence of the entity to whom, the application is submitted

5. with respect to each category of person prohibited by Federal law, or by the law of the State of residence of the applicant, from obtaining a firearm, a statement that the individual is not a person prohibited from obtaining a firearm

6. a certification by the applicant that the applicant will keep any firearm owned by the applicant safely stored and out of the possession of persons who have not attained 18 years of age

7. a certificate attesting to the completion at the time of application of a written firearms examination, which shall test the knowledge and ability of the applicant regarding:

* the safe storage of firearms, particularly in the vicinity of persons who have not attained 18 years of age

* the safe handling of firearms

* the use of firearms in the home and the risks associated with such use

* the legal responsibilities of firearms owners, including Federal, State, and local laws relating to requirements for the possession and storage of firearms, and relating to reporting requirements with respect to firearms

* any other subjects, as the Attorney General determines to be appropriate

8. an authorization by the applicant to release to the Attorney General or an authorized representative of the Attorney General any mental health records pertaining to the applicant

9. the date on which the application was submitted

10. the signature of the applicant
I'm sure the bad guys who stole their guns are going to line up to get their firearms license too, right?



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Justice

UPDATE: Pizza shop owner describes robbery, shooting
[...]
[John] Hayes, 37, was behind the counter Tuesday night when 20-year-old Patrick Finney, wearing an orange ski mask, walked in and pointed a sawed-off shotgun at his head just before 8 p.m.

A customer, an older woman from the neighborhood, was seated at the counter watching the Cavaliers game while waiting for a stromboli.

''He said, 'Give me the [expletive] money. This is an [expletive] robbery,'' Hayes said.

Hayes cooperated, giving the robber a stack of $10 bills. The robber wanted more and pointed the shotgun within inches of Hayes' head, he said.

''As soon as I gave him the money, I pulled my gun out from my hip, pointed it and fired four shots,'' Hayes said.

Finney fell to the floor, then stood back up. Hayes fired three more shots from his Smith & Wesson 9 mm pistol. Finney staggered outside and collapsed across the street. The cash he sought was dropped outside.

Hayes then called 911.
[...]
Good for you, Hayes. Serves the fucker right.
Akron police are investigating the shooting, but there is no indication that Hayes, who has been questioned by investigators, acted unlawfully. It was the fourth robbery at the shop since 2007.
As well it should be.


Hat tip to my latest addition to the blogroll, Frenemy.


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Spam Subject of the Day

"Credit card PIN is invalid"
I'm sure I sent you the right one. Try it again.



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Thursday, April 02, 2009

Finally A Self-Help Book I Can Use



I better check Amazon...



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Satellite My Ass

North Korea is fueling rocket, U.S. military says
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- North Korea has begun fueling its long-range rocket, according to a senior U.S. military official.

The fueling signals that the country could be in the final stages of what North Korea has said will be the launch of a satellite into space as early as this weekend, the senior U.S. military official said Wednesday.
[...]
Be afraid. Be very afraid.





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Sorry I'm Late




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BWAH!!!

Paid to do it, but fails to make his friend’s wife pregnant after 72 Attempts

A nice story, with surprising end:

In Stuttgart, Germany, a court judge must decide on a case of honorable intentions in a situation where a man hired his neighbor to get his wife pregnant.

It seems that Demetrius Soupolos, 29, and his former beauty queen wife, Traute, wanted a child badly, but Demetrius was told by a doctor that he was sterile.

So, Soupolos, after calming his wife’s protests, hired his neighbor, Frank Maus, 34, to impregnate her. Since Maus was already married and the father of two children, plus looked very much like Soupolos to boot, the plan seemed good.

Soupolos paid Maus $2,500 for the job and for three evenings a week for the next six months, Maus tried desperately, a total of 72 different times, to impregnate Traute.

When his own wife objected, he explained, "I don’t like this any more than you. I’m simply doing it for the money. Try and understand."

When Traute failed to get pregnant after six months, however, Soupolos was not understanding and insisted that Maus have a medical examination, which he did.

The doctor’s announcement that Maus was also sterile shocked everyone except his wife, who was forced to confess that Maus was not the real father of their two children.

Now Soupolos is suing Maus for breach of contract in an effort to get his money back, but Maus refuses to give it up because he said he did not guarantee conception, but only that he would give an honest effort.
Now that's funny. Even funnier to find out you're sterile and those ain't your kids.

But I have to say, I'm a better neighbor than that. I would have done it for free.



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Spam Subject of the Day

"and why everything"
Because 42.



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Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Mexicali Blues

There is a song by the Grateful Dead called Mexicali Blues that I just fucking love. I was going to try and write out the lyrics just to see if I could remember it all, but I gave up.

Give it a read:
Laid back in an old saloon, with a peso in my hand,
Watchin' flies and children on the street,
And I catch a glimpse of black-eyed girls who giggle when I smile,
There's a little boy who wants to shine my feet.

And its three days ride from Bakersfield and I don't know why I came.
I guess I came to keep from payin' dues.
So instead I've got a bottle and a girl who's just fourteen,
And a damn good case of the Mexicali Blues. yeh!

Is there anything a man don't stand to lose,
When the devil wants to take it all away?
Cherish well your thoughts, and keep a tight grip on your booze,
Cause thinkin' and drinkin' are all I have today.

She said her name was Billy Jean and she was fresh in town.
I didn't know a stage line ran from hell.
She had raven hair, a ruffled dress, a necklace made of gold,
All the french perfume you'd care to smell.

She took me up into her room and whispered in my ear,
Go on, my friend, do anything you choose.
Now I'm payin' for those happy hours I spent there in her arms,
With a lifetime's worth of the Mexicali Blues.

Is there anything a man don't stand to lose,
When the devil wants to take it all away?
Cherish well your thoughts, and keep a tight grip on your booze
Cause thinkin' and drinkin' are all I have today.

And then a man rode into town, some thought he was the law.
Billy Jean was waitin' when he came.
She told me he would take her, if I didn't use my gun,
I'd have no one but myself to blame.

I went down to those dusty streets, blood was on my mind.
I guess that stranger hadn't heard the news
'Cause I shot first and killed him, lord, he didn't even draw
And he made me trade the gallows for the Mexicali Blues.

Is there anything a man don't stand to lose
When he lets a woman hold him in her hands?
He just might find himself out there on horseback in the dark
Just ridin' and runnin' across those desert sands.
So there you have it.



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April Fool's Day

So, anyone do any good Aprils Fool's jokes on anyone?

I usually get Mrs Curmudgeon pretty good, but she's outta town today so she missed out so far. Maybe later...


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BWAH!!!

Ohio man charged with drunken driving on bar stool
NEWARK, Ohio – Authorities in Ohio say a man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool. Police in Newark, 30 miles east of Columbus, say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.
[...]
One look at this piece of shit contraption and you know the dude must have been plowed to even be seen on the fucker.


Twenty-eight-year Kile Wygle was hospitalized for minor injuries. Police say he was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he told an officer at the hospital that he had consumed 15 beers. Wygle told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph.

Wygle has pleaded not guilty and has requested a jury trial.
15 beers? DAMN!


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Spam Subject of the Day

"Salute"
Cheers. Fuckwad.



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