Oink II

Keep fiddling mother fuckers:

Biden tells family to stay off planes, subways
8 minutes agoSent 175 times

WASHINGTON - Joe Biden said Thursday he advised his family to stay off airplanes and subways because of the new swine flu, a remark that forced the vice president's office to backtrack and prompted one airline official to complain about "fear-mongering."
[...]

Yup. Everyone should walk to work.

If you live several miles away and have to commute, maybe you should start walking the night before to make sure you get to work on time so you can earn your pay in order to keep PAYING YOUR FUCKING TAXES!!!

Or, you could drive your car. But then that would be very environmentally friendly now would it?


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"For He's A Jolly Dead Felllloooowww"

Man dies after retirement party hijinks
Reuters - Tue Dec 16, 12:24 PM ET

TOKYO (Reuters) - A 60-year-old man who was thrown into the air in celebration at his retirement party died after his colleagues failed to catch him and he fell to the floor, a Japanese newspaper reported on Tuesday.
[...]

That would suck.



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Good Gawd

What with all the hate for Tibet, that's gotta piss China off:

Tibetan woman holds Olympic flame atop Everest
1 hour, 12 minutes ago

EVEREST BASE CAMP, China (Reuters) - A Tibetan woman took the Olympic torch the last steps to the top of Everest on Thursday, realizing "a dream of all Chinese people," but Tibetan exiles criticized Beijing for politicizing the Games.
[...]

Oh well. Fuck 'em.

It amazes me that the commie, shit shipping, repressed, poor, underpaid, overworked, unhealthy, starving piece of shit country is hosting the olympics in the first place. But oh well. Who am I to say?






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Whatta Maroon

I ain't going to comment on Michael Vick or his stupidity of fighting dogs. That has already been beat to death around the world. I will say that if there isn't a special place in hell for people who purposefully mistreat and abuse animals, there should be. And with any luck he'll end up there.

But this article gave me a chuckle:

PITTSBURGH (AP) -- A newspaper reporter who said Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick would have been "better off raping a woman" than being charged with dogfighting has apologized and will no longer appear on the local sports panel TV show where he made the remark.
[...]

"It's really a sad day in this country when somehow ... Michael Vick would have been better off raping a woman if you look at the outcry of what happened," Zeise said. "Had he done that, he probably would have been suspended for four games and he'd be back on the field. But because this has become a political issue, all of a sudden the commissioner has lost his stomach for it."
[...]

Well? It's true innit?

Take a look around. Some of the shit these big-time athletes get away with nowadays is just amazing. They have money. The major sports organizations have money. The sponsors have money. And they all stand to lose it if their star athlete don't play the game. So my guess is there is either a settlement or a pay-off of some sort most of the time.

But, one way or the other, sportscasters or commenters just can't do dumbassery or say stupid shit on teevee and not get fired.




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WOOHOO!!!

Fuck your wetback bill

[...]
"In a crucial make or break vote that exposed deep lack of support among Bush's own Republicans, the legislation fell 14 votes short of the 60 needed in the 100-member Senate to advance toward a final vote."
[...]

Update - Got this funny:

Jose and Carlos are panhandling on the street.

Jose brings home a suitcase full of $10 bills, every day. Drives a Mercedes. Lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.

Carlos asks Jose, how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?

Jose says, "look at your sign. It says: I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support."

Carlos looks at Jose's sign. It reads, "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico ."



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What THEE Fuck?

This is scary:

Animal-human embryos need human rights, bishops say

1 hour, 2 minutes ago

LONDON (Reuters) - Hybrid animal-human embryos created for medical research should be viewed as human and permitted to develop into children, Roman Catholic bishops have urged the British parliament.
[...]

No, rather people participating in these experiments should be shot. That is just fucking disgusting.

If people were meant to be cross-bred with animals whether it be in a test tube or in the barnyard, our physiology would have been designed just a bit differently.

This sort of experimentation can only amount to a Pandora's Box of unknown ills ready to release all sorts of unknown mutations or crippling side effects both physical or mental. These morons could quite possibly create more damage to the human race than any cures they could come up with. You just shouldn't fuck with mother nature that way.

Think about it. The Nazis were doing the same shit only a few years back.




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Why You Wanna Keep A Brother Down

Memphis mayor blasts sex allegations

By WOODY BAIRD, Associated Press Writer Mon Jun 25, 3:15 PM ET

MEMPHIS, Tenn. - Mayor Willie Herenton stepped before television cameras to announce he had made a startling discovery: Rich, white businessmen were plotting to derail his re-election by videotaping him having sex with a strip club waitress.
[...]

Evil people trying to thwart his bid for re-election? How crude. How mean. How underhanded.

Uh, Mr. Mayor - you didn't have to fuck the waitress you know. You could have been a bit less of a slut. You're in the public eye. Rather than chasing wimmen half your age around, you could be more concerned with your image.





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About Fucking Time She Shut Her Yap

Sheehan 'resigns' as protest leader

By ANGELA K. BROWN, Associated Press Writer Tue May 29, 11:20 PM ET

FORT WORTH, Texas - Cindy Sheehan, the soldier's mother who galvanized an anti-war movement with her monthlong protest outside President Bush's ranch, said Tuesday she's done being the public face of the movement.

WOO HOO!
Good. We son't have to listen to her bullshit whining any more.

"I've been wondering why I'm killing myself and wondering why the Democrats caved in to George Bush," Sheehan told The Associated Press while driving from her property in Crawford to the airport, where she planned to return to her native California.

Too bad you didn't actually, you know, kill yourself a long time ago.

"I'm going home for awhile to try and be normal," she said.

Yeah. Fat chance. You are no where near 'normal' Stupid bitch.

In what she described as a "resignation letter," Sheehan wrote in her online diary on the Daily Kos blog: "Good-bye America ... you are not the country that I love and I finally realized no matter how much I sacrifice, I can't make you be that country unless you want it."
[...]

See, the part that confuses me here, is the resignation letter. She resigned from some sort of self-created, self-appointed foray into disparaging the government, and committing herself to all sorts of coercion with Bush and America haters.
She was just some over zealous big mouth who went around the world talking shit. How can you "resign" from being shit spewing a dumb-ass?




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...And It's Getting Hotter

Fuck daylight savings time.
What the hell were those boneheads in congress thinking when they made daylight savings time come three weeks earlier this year?

Evidently, it wasn't about how an extra hour of sunlight would have a warming effect on our climate. The current state of 'Global Warming'™ is bad enough without the extra hour of daylight making it even worse.





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French Military Technology

Look at the incredible range and accuracy of this anti-tank missile:




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Headlines

Oh yes. An interesting weekend, and evidently an interesting week coming up.

First off, we have this:

Boston Singer Brad Delp Dies

Boston's Web site was taken down Friday night and replaced with one sentence: "We just lost the nicest guy in rock and roll."

Singer Brad Delp was found dead Friday at his home in Atkinson, New Hampshire. He was 55.

Authorities are investigating, but they do not suspect foul play.
[...]

A sad day in rock and roll. I love their music. Even saw them in concert once back in the day. Great show.

And from the "No Shit" department, we have this:

Documentary questions Moore's tactics

AUSTIN, Texas - As documentary filmmakers, Debbie Melnyk and Rick Caine looked up to
Michael Moore.

Then they tried to do a documentary of their own about him — and ran into the same sort of resistance Moore himself famously faces in his own films.
[...]

Go figger. They're finding out that Michael Moore-on withholds the full truths in his films to make them lop-sided.
Fucking DUH!


Now, from the "Get A Life" department, we have this:

Pi fans to meet March 14

AP - Sun Mar 11, 9:37 PM ET

This is a story about love. About inscrutable complexity and remarkable simplicity, about the promise of forever. It is about obsession and devotion, and grand gestures and 4,000-word love letters.

It is about a curious group of people with an almost religious zeal for a mind-numbing string of numbers.
[...]

Uh, yeah. That sounds like a thrill a minute there.


And finally:

You Can't Travel Back in Time, Scientists Say
While the idea makes for great fiction, some scientists now say traveling to the past is impossible.

While the idea makes for great fiction, some scientists now say traveling to the past is impossible.
[...]

Well, that does it. I am totally disappointed now. I had big plans.
Oh well. I guess I'll just have to stay put.


Okay, that's it for now. Time do do shit.



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All I Can Say Is Good...

You deserve it:

Man burns genitals in 'Jackass' stunt

AP - Thu Mar 8, 7:00 AM ET Sent 833 times

EAU CLAIRE, Wis. - Attempts to do a movie stunt landed one man in the hospital with burned genitals and another facing criminal charges. The men were trying to do a stunt from one of the "Jackass" movies, in which a character lights his genitals on fire.
[...]

Fuckin moron.




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Organizational Skills

I'm a fairly organized individual.

If someone is working with me in my workshop and says something like "Do you have ...?", I can say "It's right there in the box, second drawer, near the left middle."
Maybe not quite as organized at work, but things are usually more hectic than at the house. I may not have as much time to be so anal.

And I really do appreciate people who are organized. Can't blame them. It usually makes everyone's life in their little world a bit easier.

Women like to keep piles of shit in their purses, but if you are one of their friends and need to borrow say, "The red lipstick", they can usually tell you "It's right there in the inside pocket next to my wallet.", or some shit like that.

But you fucking bitches that have to sit there in line and neatly tuck every fucking receipt, fucking pen, fucking tissue, fucking coffee mug, fucking reading glasses so you can wear you sun glasses, fucking wallet, and family fucking photos into your purse at the drive-up ATM while I'm in line behind you waiting to do my bidness, are just selfish fucking arrogant ... well, bitches.




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Oopsy-Daisy

Boy killed when car hits Ill. school

SHILOH, Ill. - A car plowed through the wall of an elementary school cafeteria during lunch Monday, killing an 8-year-old boy and injuring two other students and the 84-year-old driver, police in this St. Louis suburb said.
[...]

Uh, let me guess. Gas pedal instead of brake?

Look. If you aren't able to drive, then get out of the car.



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More U.N. Idiocy

U.S. seems to rule out "timeout" between Iran, West

[...]
Mohamed ElBaradei, director-general of the Vienna-based International Atomic Energy Agency, has proposed a "timeout" in the confrontation between Tehran and the U.N. Security Council under which Iranian nuclear work and U.N. sanctions on Tehran would be simultaneously suspended.
[...]

A "timeout"?
A fucking "timeout"? They're kidding, right?
The reach of of the mamby-pamby liberal lefties ... a fucking "timeout"?

Grow the fuck up here. These aren't kids talking in class for gawd's sake. These are people bent on annihilating anyone who doesn't hold the same beliefs ... A fucking "timeout"?



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"lethargic?"

As a rule, yes.