I Love My XM

But there are few things worse than an extended harmonica solo.

Sometimes 'Bluesville' just ain't that great.


Thought you should know.


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A Funny

DA BEARS!!!

The teacher was holding class in Gary Indiana recently and announced "I am a Colts fan! Who else in here is a Colts fan?"

Of course, all the students - wanting to be just like teacher - raised their hands except for Little Johnny .

The teacher exclaimed "Johnny! Why, I don't understand! You're not a Colts fan?"

Johnny replies "No, I'm a Bears fan."

To which the teacher says "Why would you be a Colts fan yet live in Indiana?"

Johnny says "My father has always been a big Bears fan, and my mother has always been a big Bears fan, and because of that, I guess I've just ended up being a Bears fan too."

Teacher says "So if your father was a moron and your mother was also a moron, what would that make you?"

Johnny says "Well, that would make me a Colts fan!"

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Spam Subject Of The Day

"magnificent avocado pit"

Okay, I'm at a loss on that one.

Oopsy-Daisy

Boy killed when car hits Ill. school

SHILOH, Ill. - A car plowed through the wall of an elementary school cafeteria during lunch Monday, killing an 8-year-old boy and injuring two other students and the 84-year-old driver, police in this St. Louis suburb said.
[...]

Uh, let me guess. Gas pedal instead of brake?

Look. If you aren't able to drive, then get out of the car.



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More U.N. Idiocy

U.S. seems to rule out "timeout" between Iran, West

[...]
Mohamed ElBaradei, director-general of the Vienna-based International Atomic Energy Agency, has proposed a "timeout" in the confrontation between Tehran and the U.N. Security Council under which Iranian nuclear work and U.N. sanctions on Tehran would be simultaneously suspended.
[...]

A "timeout"?
A fucking "timeout"? They're kidding, right?
The reach of of the mamby-pamby liberal lefties ... a fucking "timeout"?

Grow the fuck up here. These aren't kids talking in class for gawd's sake. These are people bent on annihilating anyone who doesn't hold the same beliefs ... A fucking "timeout"?



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Spam Subject Of The Day

"buy drugs everywhere"

Yup. In this day and age, they're pretty easy to come by.


'Only users lose drugs'



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A Funny

Via email:

Sven was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows. "Twenty dollars . ." she whispers.

He'd never been with a hooker before, but he decides, it's only twenty bucks.

So they hide in the bushes. They're going "at it" for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It's a police officer.

"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.

"I'm making love to my vife! ," Sven answers indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know."

"Vell," Sven says, "neider did I, 'til you shined dat dang light in her face!!

Spam Subject Of The Day

"do teeth"

I would prefer you didn't. Sorta rough on the man-parts you know.

~

The Year I Was Born

Hello? Is there room in that bandwagon for me?

Seems another Gore'sweb rage is this "What happened during the year you were born and shit" thing. Well, here's mine. But before it's all said and done, I'll go ahead and add some shit at the end that hadn't happened yet. So stay tuned.

In 1960 (the year you were born)

Dwight Eisenhower is president of the US Sit-ins being after 4 black college students in North Carolina refuse to move from a deli counter when denied service A U-2 reconnaissance plane belonging to the US is shot down in the Soviet Union Hurricane "Donna" strikes the East Coast causing over 100 deaths in the US and the Antilles John F. Kennedy defeats Vice President Richard Nixon in the presidential race Cassius Clay (who later took the name Muhammad Ali) wins his first professional fight Michael Stipe, Tony Robbins, Bono, John F. Kennedy, Jr., and Jeffrey Dahmer are born Pittsburgh Pirates win the World Series Philadelphia Eagles win the NFL championship Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho is the top grossing film To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee is published The Beatles make their debut in Hamburg, Germany The Flintstones debut

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

Okay, so now that that is up there, here are some things that haven't even happened or been invented yet:

• X-box, Game Boy, Game Cube, even Atari - not to mention 'Pong' haven't even been thought of yet
• No space shuttle - a person hasn't even been in space
• Rubix cube? Whuzzat?
• No Catalytic converter on a car
• No Microwave oven
• No Granola bars, gummi bears, fruit roll-ups, "Space Food Sticks", Gatorade, bottled water
• Star Wars - Bush's and Hollywood's are non-existent
• Kennedy of course, is still alive

Oh the list could go on forever.

A Funny

Via email:

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until,
one day, he comes across a Harley with a for sale sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolutely mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years.

"Well, it's quite simple, really," says the seller, "whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain." And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, "I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."

"No problem," he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word.

He looks at her mom. "She's got a great body", he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.

Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket.

Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, "All right, enough - I'll do the fucking dishes!"

I know. That sucked.

AAAHHHHH!!!!!

I have been assimilated.


I could not fight the collective any longer.


What the hell. I figger as flaky as old blogger has been lately, the new version can't be any worse.


Hey! Looky there! I do labels now!

Spam Subject Of The Day

"lethargic?"

As a rule, yes.

Quote Of The Day

Some randomness somewhere:

"One cure for the global warming problem would be a nuclear winter"

Gee. Never thought of that.

A Chuckle

Nutz

Now, I love snowmobiling, and back in the day when I owned one, I went a lot.
Did some somewhat crazy shit too.

But these dudes are out of their fucking gourd:






I gotta get me one o' them videos.

Spam Subject Of The Day

"Sex offender, 29, enrolled himself in 7th grade"

Yeah. Right.

A Funny

Via email:

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf.

He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.

On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang. It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and that she was in critical condition in ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible.

As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf.

He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital.

He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10.

He was jubilant.... then he remembered his wife.

Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you?"

"I hope you're proud of yourself!"

"While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club, your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last!"

"For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver!"

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed.

The doctor snickered and said, "Just fuckin' with you man. She's dead. .What'd you shoot?"

BWAH!!!

Gawd-Damn Fucking Fucked-Up Fucking Blogger!!!

You know, Democrats must be running blogger. The fucking thing never works right any more.
Well, 'old' blogger doesn't anyway:

Publishing on the old Blogger was failing with "Error 550" since approximately 5:30PM PST. It was fixed at approximately 8:00PM PST.

New Blogger was unaffected. Sorry for the inconvenience.

I'm getting so fucking sick of this free piece of shit not working, I could could just go ahead and be assimilated. If the fucker would let me. But it won't.

"One or more of your blogs couldn't be converted right now."

Fucked up shit.
I don't really want to start all over somewhere else, and there are too many issues I've read about with importing archives, so I reckon I'm just out of luck.

Seven Eight Words You Can Never Say On Television

Yeah. That'll work.

Today's Puke-A-Thon

A different kind of children's book

Just sad.