"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Need More Proof?

This is a hoot!

Stolen from Curmudgeonly & Skeptical.


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Top 100

I saw this on a couple blogs and it looked fun. I likes my music, so I'll go ahead and do it.
But, blooger don't have all them newfangled clicky-edits, so I'll comment at the tail of them instead.
A.) Go to musicoutfitters.com.
B.) Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function at the upper left and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year.
C.) Bold the songs you liked, strike through the ones you hated underline your favorite. Do nothing to the ones you don’t remember (or don’t care about).
So, go ahead and read them until you get bored.

1. Shadow Dancing, Andy Gibb - kaaaack. This is noumber one?
2. Night Fever, Bee Gees - again, kaaaack
3. You Light Up My Life, Debby Boone - Pretty eyes, yaawwwnnnn
4. Stayin' Alive, Bee Gees - whilst working in the coal mine, we changed the words - 'Buried Alive' being the new title.
5. Kiss You All Over, Exile - Meh, it was ok
6. How Deep Is Your Love, Bee Gees - more kaaack
7. Baby Come Back, Player - The rest of the album was good too. Time for another conversation?
8. (Love Is) Thicker Than Water, Andy Gibb - What a stupid song
9. Boogie Oogie Oogie, A Taste Of Honey - Disco can go straight to hell, and take the Bee Gees with you.
10. Three Times A Lady, Commodores - Three dry heaves, a good puke, and maybe even a brown stain.
11. Grease, Frankie Valli - I have seen Grease a couple times in the theatre, a couple times on the VCR, and once on the stage. Dare I say I like the music?
12. I Go Crazy, Paul Davis - Another dozer.
13. You're The One That I Want, John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John - See 11.
14. Emotion, Samantha Sang - Good date song.
15. Lay Down Sally, Eric Clapton - It's Clapton! Come on! But he did do much better.
16. Miss You, Rolling Stones - Could have done without this one entirely. Lips, Hips and falsetto.
17. Just The Way You Are, Billy Joel - Another good date song.
18. With A Little Luck, Wings - Lasted too long.
19. If I Can't Have You, Yvonne Elliman - Disco can go straight to hell, and take the Bee Gees with you.
20. Dance, Dance, Dance (Yowsah, Yowsah, Yowsah), Chic - Disco can go straight to hell, and take the Bee Gees with you.
21. Feels So Good, Chuck Mangione - I still like this song. Maybe it's more appreciated by people who have played brass, for the high notes and clarity, but one way or the other, it's good.
22. Hot Child In The City, Nick Gilder - My friend and I both bought the 45 and wore them out.
23. Love Is Like Oxygen, Sweet - Monotonous.
24. It's A Heartache, Bonnie Tyler - It's a dozer. Nothing but a sleeper....
25. We Are The Champions / We Will Rock You, Queen - Legendary.
26. Baker Street, Gerry Rafferty - Good song.
27. Can't Smile Without You, Barry Manilow - Disco can take the Bee Gees and Barely Manenough to hell with it.
28. Too Much, Too Little, Too Late, Johnny Mathis and Deniece Williams - Way too much.
29. Dance With Me, Peter Brown - Too many harmonies.
30. Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad, Meat Loaf - Another good date song.
31. Jack And Jill, Raydio - Boring.
32. Take A Chance On Me, Abba - I enjoyed looking at them (the girls) but not listening to them.
33. Sometimes When We Touch, Dan Hill - Real good date song.
34. Last Dance, Donna Summer - Disco can take the Bee Gees and Barely Manenough and Donna Summer to hell with it.
35. Hopelessly Devoted To You, Olivia Newton-John - Yup. More Grease.
36. Hot Blooded, Foreigner - I liked a few songs from this album.
37. You're In My Heart, Rod Stewart - This was Rod's last good album. Then he sold out.
38. The Closer I Get To You, Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway - Puke.
39. Dust In The Wind, Kansas - You gotta love the guitar work on this.
40. Magnet And Steel, Walter Egan - Yawn.
41. Short People, Randy Newman - There's nothing good about Randy Newman, especially this stupid song.
42. Use Ta Be My Girl, O'Jays - Meh, dull for motown.
43. Our Love, Natalie Cole - Don't recognize this one.
44. Love Will Find A Way, Pablo Cruise - Another iteration of the Beach Boys.
45. An Everlasting Love, Andy Gibb - Teeny bopper?
46. Love Is In The Air, John Paul Young - Puke is in the air.
47. Goodbye Girl, David Gates - Meh.
48. Slip Slidin' Away, Paul Simon - I hated this the first time I heard it, and every time thereafter.
49. The Groove Line, Heatwave - Suckage.
50. Thunder Island, Jay Ferguson - Good visualizations here. I liked it.
51. Imaginary Lover, Atlanta Rhythm Section - Nowhere near as good as "So Into You"
52. Still The Same, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band - Bob Seger. The most overplayed, overrated idiot since, well, I don't know.
53. My Angel Baby, Toby Beau - BIG YAAAWWWWWNNNN!
54. Disco Inferno, Trammps - Disco can take the Bee Gees and Barely Manenough and Donna Summer and Trammps to hell with it.
55. On Broadway, George Benson - Mediocre.
56. Come Sail Away, Styx - Now Styx ROCKED! Saw them in concert a couple times.
57. Back In Love Again, L.T.D. - "It's got a good beat, and I can dance to it. 95." Not that I would dance.
58. This Time I'm In It For Love, Player - Same album as "Baby Come Back". Decent album.
59. You Belong To Me, Carly Simon - I like Carly. This song too.
60. Here You Come Again, Dolly Parton - Boobs. What? She sings?
61. Blue Bayou, Linda Ronstadt - Back before she went nuts, I liked her.
62. Peg, Steely Dan - The Dan! Nothing bad to say about them.
63. You Needed Me, Anne Murray - Yawn.
64. Shame, Evelyn "Champagne" King - Disco can take....well you know. Her too.
65. Reminiscing, Little River Band - Okay song, but I like their faster stuff better.
66. Count On Me, Jefferson Starship - Church Choir?
67. Baby Hold On, Eddie Money - Other than being monotonous, it was good at first.
68. Hey Deanie, Shaun Cassidy - Not familiar with this one.
69. Summer Nights, John Travolta and Olivia Newton-john - Even more Grease. Like, 5 songs made it big from that thing?
70. What's Your Name, Lynyrd Skynyrd - Skynyrd anything is good.
71. Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue, Crystal Gayle - Long hair, yawn.
72. Because The Night, Patti Smith - So so.
73. Every Kinda People, Robert Palmer - Totally atypical of this guy. Left over 60's kumba-ya stuff.
74. Copacabana, Barry Manilow - Give me a fucking break. Two songs?
75. Always And Forever, Heatwave - Kack.
76. You And I, Rick James - I liked Rick James.
77. Serpentine Fire, Earth, Wind and Fire - Church choir. Not my cuppa.
78. Sentimental Lady, Bob Welch - Bob Welch had some good stuff too.
79. Falling, LeBlanc and Carr - Yaaawwwwnnn.
80. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, Santa Esmeralda - 60's leftovers.
81. Bluer Than Blue, Michael Johnson - Shitier than shit.
82. Running On Empty, Jackson Browne - Some of his stuff is good. This is one.
83. Whenever I Call You "Friend", Kenny Loggins - Yawn.
84. Fool (If You Think It's Over), Chris Rea - Sand blocks don't belong in rock and roll.
85. Get Off, Foxy - Not familiar.
86. Sweet Talking Woman, Electric Light Orchestra - Paul Lynn sucks ass. He ruined this band, the Travelling Wilburys, and he ruined all the stuff the remaining Beetles tried to do.
87. Life's Been Good, Joe Walsh - For not having many brain cells left, he did a good job.
88. I Love The Night Life, Alicia Bridges - One somewhat disco song I like, only because of the movie I saw that it was in. What was that movie?.... something about vampires.
89. You Can't Turn Me Off (In The Middle Of Turning Me On), High Inergy - Not familiar.
90. It's So Easy, Linda Ronstadt - Like I said, before she went nuts, I liked her.
91. Native New Yorker, Odyssey - Not familiar.
92. Flashlight, Parliament - Some of the worst disco shit I ever heard.
93. Don't Look Back, Boston - Now THAT is a band!!!
94. Turn To Stone, Electric Light Orchestra - See 86.
95. I Can't Stand The Rain, Eruption - Okay song.
96. Ebony Eyes, Bob Welch - More good stuff from Bob Welch.
97. The Name Of The Game, Abba - Again, nice to look at.
98. We're All Alone, Rita Coolidge - Good date song.
99. Hollywood Nights, Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band - Fuck Bob Seger.
100. Deacon Blues, Steely Dan - Again, The Dan. I like them.

There you have it.

ps. I didn't mis-type the intro.

The Big Flood

We Americans are usually quite helpful. As a nation and as individuals.
I don't mind helping out other countries when they're being stomped on by dictators, and I don't mind helping out when they get hit by an earthquake or a tsunami.

Now that our fellow Americans have been hit extremely hard along the gulf coast, it is time to help ourselves. Do what you can. Some may need money, some may need food or volunteers.

You can submit a secure donation here: American Red Cross
Or use your preferred charity, or you can do a Google for 'hurricane katrina relief' to find one if you're not sure who to use. Just make sure it's a well known and trusted charity, and make sure the donation specifically states where it is to be used.

Interesting

From CNN:

2004: The 10 most dangerous jobs by fatality rate are:

Rank Occupation Death rate/100,000 Total deaths
1 Logging workers
92.4
85
2 Aircraft pilots
92.4
109
3 Fishers and fishing workers
86.4
38
4 Structural iron and steel workers
47.0
31
5 Refuse and recyclable material collectors
43.2
35
6 Farmers and ranchers
37.5
307
7 Roofers
34.9
94
8 Electrical power line installers/repairers
30.0
36
9 Driver/sales workers and truck drivers
27.6
905
10 Taxi drivers and chauffeurs
24.2
67


I had an aunt who's second husband was a logger. Her first husband was also a logger, who had gotten himself killed by a felled tree. I also had a friend who's father had been killed by a felled tree. I know that job is dangerous.

But stew on this. A pilot is ranked as the #2 most dangerous?
A logger getting killed is one thing. Unless there's some freak accident taking out several people by one tree, he's the only one dead. A Pilot on the other hand, usually isn't flying solo.

Sorta makes you think, doesn't it?

Another Perv

What is it with catholics and butt-fucking?
From Yahoo!:
Military Chaplain Charged in Sex Assaults:

By JONATHAN M. KATZ, Associated Press Writer Tue Aug 30,11:36 PM ET

WASHINGTON - The Army is investigating a Roman Catholic military chaplain on multiple charges of forcible sodomy and assault.

Capt. Gregory Arflack was suspended both by the Army and his dioceses pending the results of the investigation.
[...]
First priests and little boys, now a catholic chaplain?
What is it about the asshole that attracts catholic priests to it like Michael Moore-on to a refridgerator?

Maybe someone can enlighten me.

Spam Subject of the Day

"was finish by avoirdupois"
Well, good for them.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Cheap Entertainment

This is fun to watch.





That Didn't Take Long

From the AP via Yahoo:
National Guard: Enough GIs for Storm Duty:

"Some 6,000 National Guard personnel in Louisiana and Mississippi who would be available to help deal with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina are in Iraq, highlighting the changing role of America's part-time soldiers."
[...]
Yup. The liberal media has already jumped on that shit like Michael Moore-on jumping on a large stuffed-crust Pizza Hut pizza with everything, double sausage and extra cheese if you don't mind too, please.

Those soldiers should have not been in another country helping people when they could have been here at home.

Not that there are any other guardsmen in the country who could possibly go there and do their thing.

Spam Subject of the Day

"That travel by modification scraggly"
How stupid are they to think a subject like this will entice anyone?

Monday, August 29, 2005

Yellow Brick Road

Well, not a very inspiring blog today. Sorry. I've been busy. But let me tell you a little about my weekend.

Friday - Uneventful
Saturday - I decided to brew a batch of beer. I had purchased the recipe several months ago, and decided I would finally brew after slacking for so long.
So I start brewing - a hefeweisen partial mash. About halfway though the process I find out that my extract had gone to shit. Time to dump out not only the wort, but also the extract. So much for fine homemade beer.

Then, me and the missus were supposed to join up with some folks and listen to music at one of the casinos on the strip. They weren't meeting us until about 9 p.m., so we decide to go get ourselves some dinner first. It was a good meal. Jambalaya at Spagos in the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace. I would have that stuff again in a heartbeat.

We have dinner and call the people and they are on the way to meet up with us, so we make our way back to the Barbary Coast to listen to the tunes.
Now if you're not familiar with Las Vegas, lounge acts started out with the likes of The Rat Pack. They evolved into more modern music, dance bands and whatnot, with some good music like rock and roll mixed in occasionally.
Now it seems the only thing getting played is disco shit. I hate disco, and I was about to leave everyone sitting at the table, when the suggestion was made to go to Boulder Station and listen to 'Yellow Brick Road'. Now that's entertainment.

Those boys rocked! They play classic rock - things like Rush's 'Limelight', Van Halen's 'Eruption', Ozzy's 'Crazy Train'. You would never know it was a cover band just by listening. Very talented. Sounded just like the real thing.

So if:
  1. You like classic rock
  2. You live in or visit Las Vegas
  3. You want to see live music
  4. Get the chance
Go listen to Yellow Brick Road.

After that, we ate breakfast and got home about 4 in the morning. Hence...

Sunday - was pretty much a rest up day. But we had some people over for a BBQ that afternoon. Mmm, steaks on the grill.

Good weekend.

Che-burger. Che-burger

Now this is some poetic justice.
From Roto-Reuters:
Che's family plans to fight use of famed photo

HAVANA (Reuters) - With his picture on rock band posters, baseball caps and women's lingerie, Marxist revolutionary Che Guevara is firmly entrenched in the capitalist consumer society that he died fighting to overturn.

The image of the Argentine-born guerrilla gazing sternly into the distance, long-hair tucked into a beret with a single star, has been an enduring 20th century pop icon.
The guy was an asshole, but for some reason, people with no clue proudly wear his picture on their T-shirt, buy a poster, whatever.
And now that it's all over the place, his family is bitching about how the picture has been exploited. I guess they're pissed because they haven't gotten a cut of the action.

Good. I hope they stop t from being used. He definitely don't deserve the recognition.

Spam Subject of the Day

"her try be panicky exclusively"
Afraid I can't come up with anything for this one either.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Overdue

So is Jesse Jacksoff on his way to Crawford TX yet?

Anyone know?

More On Coal Mining

As you may already know, back in the day, I was a coal miner.
At first I didn't like the idea, but after working a couple jobs that paid less than half of what my coal miner friends were making, I decided fuck it. I was 19 years old and wanted to play.
I wanted to have a nice, new 4-wheel drive truck, a snowmobile, motor bike, fishing rods - all the things my friends had, but that I couldn't afford. So I went to work in a mine.

But I digress....

The reason I started on this was because at lunch time, I usually see some weirdo walking around. Today I saw some tall, lanky dude walking around which reminded me of one of the guys I briefly worked with in the mine.

Now coal mines are not the best places to work, and are definitely not the most conducive environment to people who are either afraid of the dark or claustrophobic.
But nevertheless, the brainiac in the employment office hired a guy who was both. The guy knew, the employment office knew, and as soon as he got underground the rest of us knew. He had to be teamed with someone his entire shift. Couldn't be left alone or he would freak the hell out.

Well, the poor soul didn't last very long. He finally couldn't handle going underground any more and one morning after arriving at work, turned around and took off walking home.

He was last seen walking down the road about 10 miles away from the mine, carrying the fender off a long-abandoned car, mumbling something about how the aliens were coming.

Yup. That's the sort of people you really want to work with five miles under a mountain.

How To Change A Spark Plug

Not all spark plugs are created equal, so always follow the engine manufacturer's recommendation for a replacement spark plug. Not long ago, there were fewer types of plugs available for air-cooled engines and installing the wrong one might not have necessarily done any major damage over the short term. It's a different world today. Here are some general guidelines for proper spark plug replacement:
  1. Start with a cool engine. Steel and aluminum have different rates of expansion. This can cause a steel plug and aluminum cylinder head to bind together and damage the threads of the softer material.
  2. Gently twist the boot off. Grab the spark plug boot and gently but firmly twist left and right while applying outward pressure. Never pull directly on the wire.
  3. Clean off the debris. Blow the area around the spark plug clean with compressed air to prevent any debris from entering the engine when the plug is removed.
  4. Select the correct spark plug socket. Modern engines may use ⅝-, ¾- or 13/16-inch sockets.
  5. Remove the old plug. Set it aside for later inspection.
  6. Select the correct replacement plug. Refer to the engine manufacturer's recommendation.
  7. Check the spark plug gap with a spark plug wire gauge. Never trust that the plug is properly gapped straight out of the box.
  8. Wipe a small amount of an antiseize compound on the plug threads. This will prevent thread galling, allow the plug to be torqued to consistent torque values and facilitate the next plug change.
  9. Install the new plug by hand. It is a good idea to make sure the threads are, in fact, smoothly engaging. With a tool, it can be all-too-easy to cross thread the hole. Should the plug begin to tighten prematurely, stop and investigate. This may signify a problem.
  10. Tighten it and reinstall the boot. Continue tightening until the crush gasket makes contact with the head. Get out a torque wrench and take the plug down to the manufacturer's recommended torque value. Wipe the ceramic part of the plug clean and reinstall the spark plug boot.
After installing a new spark plug, look at the old plug to get some idea of how the engine may be running. Wet, oily deposits suggest a problem — the engine may simply be overfilled with oil or it may be showing signs of wear. A new spark plug has sharp edges on the center electrode while a rounded center electrode means the plug is worn. Deposits, usually carbon, around the center electrode are normal, providing they are not excessive and are dry.

Another One From The "Get A Life" Department

From Yahoo!:
London Zoo unveiled a new exhibition -- eight humans prowling around wearing little more than fig leaves to cover their modesty.

The 'Human Zoo' is intended to show the basic nature of human beings as they frolick throughout the August bank holiday weekend.
What a bunch of idiots.

My Top Five Favorite Whole Numbers From 1 To 5, In Sequential Order

  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. 4
  5. 5
Any you would care to add?

This Day In History - 19th Ammendment

From historychannel.com:
19TH AMENDMENT ADOPTED
August 26, 1920

The 19th Amendment, guaranteeing women the right to vote, is formally adopted into the U.S. Constitution by proclamation of Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby.
Then it went to hell...


Just kidding girls. :)

Spam Subject of the Day

"An think be catfish oncoming"
Must be time to go fishing.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

"Take Him Out"

I wasn't going to post on Pat Robertson's blunder, but it's always fun to watch someone squirm after the fact.
So Robertson says this earlier in the week about Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez:
'We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," he said on his "The 700 Club" television program.'
Now he's saying that by "take him out", he didn't mean have him assasinated.

So what did Robertson really mean by "take him out"? Circle all that apply:
  1. To a nice dinner with candlelight, wine, and flowers
  2. To a Cuban disco where he can boogy 'till dawn
  3. To the dump, where he can rid himself of all those pesky Venezuelans
  4. To the cigar store where he can help out his buddy Castro's economy by purchasing a few more of those fine Cristales 41's
  5. Outside for a breath of fresh communist air
  6. Pass the collection plate
  7. Just kidding. He really did mean "KILL THAT COMMIE FUCKER!!!"
Please post your responses to The 700 Club.

Bill of NON-Rights

As far as I know, the following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Aye from GA. I like them:
  • ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
  • ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be
  • ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
  • ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes
  • ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
  • ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
  • ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.
  • ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
  • ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
  • ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!
  • ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!
I have to say, I agree with most, if not all of these points.
So many people think the rest of the world owes them or their kin something. Usually the ones who never had to earn or work for anything themselves.
And laws and lawmakers are becoming way too obtuse with legislation anymore.

Again I say, when the hell are people going to be held accountable for their own actions?

Big Blog-Brother

So blogger has this new feature.
If you haven't noticed, on the title bar next to the 'NEXT BLOG' button, theres a new button:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I guess you're supposed to 'flag' blogs with questionable content so they can review your blog warn people if you do no-no's.
Personally, I would like to get a list of the flagged blogs.
It would be easier to filter out the stupid ones that way.

Joke of the Day

A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde. He immediately turns to her and makes his move.

"You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," says the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff--grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?



Spam Subject of the Day

"At rain at regroup baboon"
Uhh, I don't want to even think about that.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Frigidaire Is T3h Sux0rz

Don't buy Frigidaire appliances.

We remodeled our kitchen last year, and in the process purchased a new refrigerator, dishwasher, range and microwave. There was a deal going on if you bought the set, so we did.
They were in place less than a month when the water filter on the fridge started leaking and the ice maker quit working.
The fridge has a one year warranty, but the icemaker only had a 30 day warranty. What quality equipment. 30 fucking days? Yeah, that's confidence.
So I immediately purchased the extended warranty, something I usually don't do. But since the thing broke already, I figgered I had better buy it, then let them know it broke.
I went to the Frigidaire web site to find out who could come and fix the thing. There were a few local folks that would, but the soonest would be two weeks. Two effing weeks.
Well they finally got it fixed.

Now the oven don't work.
Again, the appliances have only been in place since April. I get to find someone to come fix the shit again.
Who'd-a thought. Ranges usually last years. This one broke within six months.

DON'T BUY FRIGIDAIRE SHIT!!!!


Update: They're coming to fix the shit saturday September 3rd. Nothing like prompt service.
It's a good thing I don't use the oven that often.

Love Limerick

I guess I just can't give it a rest:

There was a big skank name of Love

Who's had many a hand in her glove

Some claim she's knocked up

She says there's no pup

There ain't, if there's a God up above.

Spam Subject of the Day

"And find it brilliantine dodder"
brilliantine dodder - Is that some sort of precious gem?

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

More fun with GIMP

So which is it?

Love pregnant with Coogan's baby, claims reports

Love denies pregnancy claims

I guess we'll find out soon enough...

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

From The "Get A Life Department"

From the AP:

A tattoo artist works on a live pig at an organic art center outside Beijing Friday Aug. 19, 2005. Artists at the Art Farm, set up by Belgian artist Wim Delvoye, tattoo anesthetized pigs to create works which are expected to be displayed in galleries once the pigs eventually die. The pigs, which are tattooed with designs ranging from the Louis Vuitton logo to Russian prison tattoos, are expected to live a longer than normal life since their increased value protects them from being killed for food. (AP Photo)

Here It Comes

Again, from Yahoo:

High Schools Address the Cruelest Cut

"Olsson, a sophomore, wanted desperately to make the junior varsity, but he also wanted justification for a long list of sacrifices. His family had rearranged a trip to Sweden so he could participate in a preparatory soccer camp; he'd crawled out of bed at 5:30 a.m. for two weeks of camp and tryouts and forced down Raisin Bran; he'd sweated off five pounds and pulled his hamstring.

Finally, a coach walked by holding a list, and Olsson followed him into the high school. He walked back out two minutes later, his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his eyes locked on the ground.

'It felt,' he said later, 'like a punch in the stomach.'
[...]

For the first time this season, Severna Park Athletic Director Wayne Mook required his coaches to record running times and player evaluation grades, then hand in that paperwork to him. It is an arduous process that many coaches find tiresome, but Mook instituted it for a reason: After a player was cut from the girls' lacrosse team last spring, the family hired lawyers to meet with the school."
Hired lawyers because little Betty didn't make the cut? Christ. What fuckheads.
Those parents were probably spoiled little shits themselves when they were growing up. Probably had everything handed to them too.

So little Johnny gets cut from the team. Hey, that's life. There are a limited number of positions on any team and if you aren't good enough, well, you aren't good enough. Welcome to the real world.

But I suppose it won't be long before anyone who tries out for the team will have some position. Can't be hurting anyone's feelings now, can we.

Let's make sure everything is fair and balanced, and everyone gets a chance to play, even though they either don't have what it takes or didn't try as hard. They'll still get to participate.
But when little Johnny gets into the job world and has to compete in life, he's going to find out he don't get an opportunity to do what he wants just because he wants to. He's going to learn the hard way things aren't handed to you, and companies don't give a flying fuck about feelings.

31 Cubans Missing After Shipwreck Off Florida

From Yahoo! News:

"The U.S. Coast Guard searched on Monday for 31 Cubans migrants missing at sea for almost a week after their boat capsized between Cuba and Florida."
What happened, a flat tire?

Because, you know, they've been converting old cars and trucks to boats .... never mind.

Spam Subject of the Day

"his fit to locality forestry"
This one is beyond me.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Martyr

Saddam says he'd sacrifice his life for Arab cause - Yahoo! News:

Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein has said in a letter he would sacrifice himself for Arab nationalism and to end foreign occupation.
I would love to be able to sell tickets to the line of people who would like to take a shot at him.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Not listen my queen shrapnel"
Queen shrapnel? Sounds like quite the woman.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Like We Really Need A Tutorial

I don't know who Michael Buerk is, but this person has been watching too much teevee.
Future perfect: how to be a 'real' man again

Women rule says Michael Buerk, and feminism is triumphant at home, at work, even in TV ads. The woman who coined the word 'metrosexual' explains how men can reclaim their masculinity, and we publish an extract from her new book
WHO’D be one of you, eh chaps? Let’s be honest, your CV these days is hardly enviable.
Ultimately men will learn that their future is not about control as it has been in the past, it is about co- operation.
CV? Someone is going to have to tell me what that means. Nevertheless, let's take a closer look here.
Outperformed by girls at school, emasculated by women at home and at work, shockingly dislocated from your emotions and the hapless joke figure in endless TV commercials and sitcoms whose message is that females rule and men are fools.
Outperformed by girls at school? Sure. There were a couple girls that kicked my ass at the brainpower stuff sometimes. Other times, I kicked theirs.
But physical stuff? Yeah. Right.
Teevee shows and commercials serve one purpose. Make money. They are going to cater to whomever watches these shows. Lifetime network? Martha Stewart? Queer Eye for the fucking Straight Guy? Yeah, real men are going to watch that shit.
Well wise up, because apparently it’s time to say enough is enough; the ridicule of men must stop. The pendulum of power has swung too far into the female corner and you must stand up and assert your right to masculinity. Stop apologising for it, be comfortable with it, but while you’re at it try to embrace a few female traits such as compromise, communication and learning to multitask.
Reverse feminism all of a sudden?
Compromise, communication and learning to multitask? I don't see where these are female traits.
But again, this person's been watching too much teevee. Let them spend a day on the construction site instead. Let them spend a day in a coal mine instead of the corner office. They don't know what a real man is made of. They've never been one and can't possibly even guess what one is thinking.
It is called M-ness and it is The Future of Men — at least according to one particular woman who has written a book with just this title. Marian Salzman, with her co- authors Ira Matathia and Ann O’Reilly, is the American trendspotter who coined the term “meterosexual” to describe a certain breed of straight, sensitive, modern men who see nothing wrong with exfoliating and going to see a weepy film. Now she has come up with another concept to which all males must apparently subscribe if they wish to reclaim “their space, their sense of worth and even themselves”.

Indeed, she believes the revolution is already under way and that this is the “dawning of the Age of M-ness”.
So another idiot, who has nothing better to do than think she 'knows' men, needs to come up with another tag after 'Metrosexual': M-ness. Kack.
I never lost my space. I don't need to prove jack shit to anyone. I don't need to fucking exfoliate (I don't even know what the fuck that is, but I know it's something I've never needed to do). To loosely quote Popeye, "I yam what I yam."
I was raised by my mother to care about and appreciate certain things and people.
I was raised by my father to fix things, make things, earn a living, and appreciate what I had. It is a good balance.
My parents never thought I had to prove myself to anybody. They thought that by doing the best I could in whatever I did, my actions would speak louder than my clothes.
[...]
It is not just men who are fed up with male-bashing. Research shows that women, too, want men to assert themselves as confident, vital, masculine partners. They want “real” men back. But because we will never return to 1950s patriarchy — the genie cannot be put back in the bottle, thank God — men must redefine masculinity to accommodate who they are today. They must find, says Salzman, their own personal version of manliness.
Oh really? Women want 'real men' back?
Funny how just a few years ago, women were throwing bras on the bonfire chanting something like "I am woman, hear me roar!", and now they want to bitch when the door doesn't get held open for them? Like they say, "Be careful what you ask for....".
“What has happened to men over the past 30 or so years is that they have moved from defining the world . . . to having their world defined by women,” says Salzman, 45. “Men have been the butt of the joke for too long. TV is the snapshot of our everyday lives . . . there are men making jokes about men, women making jokes about men but not men making jokes about women because that would be politically incorrect.
Way too true. Can't have this sexism. Especially in the workplace. You'll get fired.
Michael Buerk, the veteran BBC newsreader, echoes these sentiments in the current issue of the Radio Times. He asserts that life is now lived according to women’s rules, that traditional male traits of “reticence, stoicism and single-mindedness” have been marginalised, that men have been reduced to little more than “sperm donors”.

The TV programme Queer Eye for the Straight Guy emblemises the problem.

“It is basically saying that no straight man knows how to dress himself,” says Salzman. “So at the top you have women and the next most refined individual after that is a gay man — and at the bottom of the pecking order you have a straight man.
Gawddammit! There we go with teevee again! Teevee is NOT reality! It is a business. A big one at that.
Gay = refined? Uh, I don't think so. Gay is gay, that's all. So a gay guy wants to dress himself a certain way and 'whoever' thinks that is chic, proper, cool, the way it should be or whatever. Big deal. It may ba a trend. It may be the latest fashion. It may be what the fashion world decides. I don't give a shit. I don't read G.Q. I don't follow the latest trends.
Like teevee, the fashion world is another big business. They're trying to sell magazines and make designers money. They're not dictating style.
Style is what everyone who doesn't adhere to fashion has. Style is personality. Style is individuality. Fashion, for men or women, is trend.
“What needs to happen is that the genders need to move closer together, not necessarily to be like each other but to respect each other . . . not be threatened by each other and achieve proper mutuality.
M-ness (also known as my-ness) is defined thus: a masculinity that defines the best of traditional manliness (strength, honour, character) with positive traits traditionally associated with females (nurturance, communicativeness, co-operation). A lifestyle that emphasises higher-quality emotional and physical pleasures, male pleasures, that come from knowing oneself and one’s potential.
The dumb shit goes on to talk about how Bill Clinton
got points for apologizing and being sensitive, and how and Arnold Schwarzenegger married a democrat, blah blah blah. All that shit. We skip that part.
Salzman’s point is that you can have M-ness whether you are a happily married house-husband or a 45-year-old serial dater, a physician or a soccer coach. You must do whatever makes you happy, gives you self-respect and makes you feel whole while respecting the other gender’s right to the same. But you must be multidimensional. You must love your family, have male friends to whom you are not afraid to show affection, have one or two hobbies.

“We need to move to a place where each gender can co-exist mutually and happily,” says Salzman. “There is no society that we can learn from on this — we have never had that kind of equality.”
Typical euphorical liberal bullshit. We must not be afraid to show emotion. We can all live hapily together. Hug a tree and sing Kumba-ya. Whatever.

If the guys come over for a game of poker, I'm not going to greet them with a hug. I'm not going to give them a peck on the cheek. I will however, give the guy who kept raising me some shit when he folds. I will also expect to get some shit when I lose a hand. I will also high-five the ones I'm golfing with if they make a good shot. I will also continue to bring my wife a cup of coffee every morning as I leave for work. I will open the door for the woman going into the store the same time as I am. That's how we coexist.

But I won't be shopping for the latest fashion at Dillards, unless 501's become the latest fashion.

I may just be getting a little huffy here. I've been know to do that. But jumoin' jeezus. Where do these people come from? What the fuck makes them think they're the authority?
You don't need to answer.


Well, that's it. I'm the hell outta here for the weekend.
Sorry Rach, I probably won't post over the weekend again, but you never know.

Fun

Ok, this is one of the weirdest shockwave things I've seen yet.
Go here and give it a try.

Have a little fun. Try grabbing her with the mouse and giving her a little fling now and then.

Update: And for the democrats, here's another version.

This Day in History - Gene Roddenberry

I was just going to post a little snippet that it Roddenberry was born. (Roddenberry! You know, the father of Star Trek!)
But after reading it, I thought it was interesting, so I'll post the whole thing.

From HistoryChannel.com:
1921 Gene Roddenberry born

TV producer Gene Roddenberry, best known as the creator of Star Trek, is born in El Paso, Texas. His family moved to Los Angeles when Roddenberry was a toddler, and his father became a police officer. Roddenberry also studied criminal justice at Los Angeles City College but became a pilot instead through the Civilian Pilot Training Program. During World War II, Roddenberry flew bombing missions in the South Pacific with the U.S. Army Air Corps. Shot down during a raid, he survived and won a medal. A second crash, when he was working as a Pan Am pilot after the war, killed 14 people and convinced Roddenberry to give up flying.

Instead, Roddenberry became a police officer like his father. But before long, he discovered that living the police life paid less than writing about it for TV, so he began writing scripts for Dragnet and other police TV dramas. In 1963, he produced a short-lived NBC show, The Lieutenant, about life in the U.S. Marines.

A lifelong science-fiction fan, Roddenberry wanted to try his hand making a sci-fi TV program. He convinced superstar Lucille Ball to fund a pilot. Although the first pilot was rejected, a second take was picked up, and Star Trek premiered in 1966.

Although the show ran for only three years and never placed better than No. 52 in the ratings, Roddenberry's sci-fi series became a cult classic and spawned four television series and nine movies.

Roddenberry died on October 24, 1991, and was one of the first people to be 'buried' in space.
Oh. And Charlie's Angels ended today in 1981 too.

Sons, Daughters, Dads, Moms

When you get a couple minutes, go watch this video.

Spam Subject of the Day

"was eat go frightfully"
Creepy bastard.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Funny Quote

Seen on the back of a T-shirt this morning:
"The older I get, the better I used to be"
Ain't it the truth.

On War, The Bush Administration, And Carping

In a post by talldave:
[...]
Imagine if you had told someone in Jan 2003 the following:
"By August 2005, not only will the regime have been removed from power and its leaders be on trial, but Iraq will have held successful elections and be on the verge of approving a new constitution. Fewer than 2,000 American soldiers will have been killed by hostile fire, and resistance will be light, scattered and very unpopular among Iraqis."
You'd have been called delusionally optimistic. Now that situation is cause for despair. Of course, it doesn’t help we have certain Americans producing the same kind of anti-American propaganda the Tojo regime and the Nazis used to produce to demoralize Americans. And of course the institutions that produced the pro-American World War II propaganda (you know, the cute patriotic little toons of Mickey Mouse beating up Hitler, etc) were a terrible danger to our freedom (those warmongering fascist bastard cartoonists) and are now very defunct, because we’re much too enlightened for that kind of jingoism these days.

The good news for Iraqis is that Bush will be in office for 3 more years, and he’s not going to give an inch even if his approval rating drops to single digits. By then the Iraqis should have the situation pretty well under control, or at least as under control as it’s ever going to get.
[...]
Do yourself a favor and go read the whole thing.

Nope. OilStealingSonKillingBushHitler has accomplished nothing. Nothing at all.

Just remember one thing for me. The fact that it's an administration tells me that dubya is not acting alone, single-handedly in anything he does.
But he's where the buck stops, so he's on the receiving end of the pointed finger. I guess that's a job hazard.

Tip o' the lid to Jeff Goldstein.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Of spell by cancel treadmill"
Well, since I never use a treadmill,I don't have to worry about being cancelled.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

My Final Cindy Sheehan Post

Image hosted by Photobucket.com


I've had enough. I'll let the rest of the media world carry on with the bitch.

More Bullshit

From 2theadvocate.com:
Smoking restriction approved 08/11/05

"Smokers beware: Puffing within 25 feet of the door of a publicly used building, a park or in other public spaces could cost you $500 or a year in prison."
[...]
"You can smoke -- with limitations. You can drink -- with limitations. You just can't go wild," said Councilwoman Lorri Burgess...
I know, this is old news. But it just keeps getting stupider and stupider.

More idiots trying to help people out for the good of all. I am getting so sick of this shit.
It doesn't matter whether you're a smoker or not, you shouldn't be accepting this sort of bullshit.

Do-gooders will say "It's for your own health and the health of others."
Fine. Smoking is bad for you. Everyone should know that by now. But there is no valid research yet on hazards of second-hand smoke. Well, unless you maybe get stuck in a car with all the windows rolled up and have 6 other smokers in there with you.
But outdoors, or even in a ventilated room, there ain't no concentration bad enough to be a health risk to anyone.

If you don't want to smoke, don't. Just don't tell anyone else they can't.
Don't tell anyone they can't drink either. As long as they don't do something stupid like try to down a bottle of Jack, then drive to the wine shop for another, it's none of your business.

And don't give me that shit about how your insurance rates are higher because of someone else's nasty habits, while you're spilling your Big Mac ketchup and ice cream all over the keyboard, then wiping it off with fingers soaked in fry fry grease.

But let's not just harp on food and bad habits here either.

Let's say you have kids. Unless you refuse to take your kids to the doctor, your medical bills are damn sure going to be higher than people without kids, for both you and your kids. How many people do you suppose get sick from a germ their kids brought home from school? Little Johnny sneezes, wipes his hands on his pants. Or goes into the bathroom to take a piss. Do you suppose he always washes his hands before he opens the door or after he takes a piss?

What about lifestyle choices? How about that bicycle, motorcycle or 4-wheeler you buy for you or the kids? How many broken bones from those has your insurance covered?

Do you always hire a pro to trim the trees or paint the trim? What if you fall off the ladder because you didn't hire someone who knows how to do it safely?

All this stuff makes insurance rates go up for everyone who don't own a motorcycle or paint their own shutters.

My insurance company wants us to fill out a questionnaire. What is my diet like, do I smoke, drink, and so on. They'll give me a $50 cash coupon and knock $10 off each month's premium if I fill it out, then consult with a 'Health Coach' at least once every two months. If I interrupt these consultations, the rates go back up to normal and I will be denied the discount next go around. Fuck that!

I would rather pay it up front and here's why.

Let's say I lie about eating a cheeseburger once a week, or whatever else I may fudge on or just not think totally through.
Then, let's say I have a heart attack. They'll look at my 'quiz', talk to my 'coach' and say "We told you to not eat cheeseburgers. You ate one, so we are denying you benfits."
Or worse yet, let's say I was totally honest. Again, they'll look at my 'quiz', talk to my 'coach' and say "You know cheeseburgers are bad for you. It says here you eat them. We are denying you benfits." I see this form as a written confession.

Sure, the insurance salespuke will tell me they are only doing it for my own good. But I've been around long enough to know that anytime some sales puke is trying to sell me something, and make me think how good it will be for me, they are only trying to fuck me for THEIR own good. They don't care if I save money as long as they make theirs.

I don't trust that shit at all, but sadly, it is soon going to be the norm. Insurance companies and politicians are starting to be the dictators of your lifestyle, not health care professionals.

Oopsy Daisy

Again from Yahoo:
Madonna discharged from hospital after fall from horse:

US pop diva Madonna was discharged from hospital where she had been treated for injuries suffered in a horse riding accident in southwest England, a hospital spokeswoman said.
This begs for a different headline: "Madonna Falls From High Horse"

Thank you. I'll be here all week.

BAAA-AAA!!!

From Yahoo:
Va. Laptop Sale Turns Into a Stampede:

A rush to purchase $50 used laptops turned into a violent stampede Tuesday, with people getting thrown to the pavement, beaten with a folding chair and nearly driven over. One woman went so far as to wet herself rather than surrender her place in line.

'This is total, total chaos,' said Latoya Jones, 19, who lost one of her flip-flops in the ordeal and later limped around on the sizzling blacktop with one foot bare.

An estimated 5,500 people turned out at the Richmond International Raceway in hopes of getting their hands on one of the 4-year-old Apple iBooks. The Henrico County school system was selling 1,000 of the computers to county residents. New iBooks cost between $999 and $1,299.
Ya' know - Come on people. A four year old laptop, used, and you rush in like Michael Moore-on after that last slice of pizza, willing to stomp the hell out of anyone in your way, or get the shit stomped out of yourself? Reality check here.

This definitely could have been handled better.
Idiots.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Here are d great girls - watch them f uck floe"
Who is floe?

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Uhh, Yeah.




"COCK! I WANT SOME COCK! GIMME SOME COCK!"

Just As An FYI

Natalee Holloway, last seen in Aruba, is still missing.

Aruba is near the Bermuda Triangle, is it not?
Hmm.

Steaming Pile Of Shit Award

It's time for another installment of my very own "Steaming Pile Of Shit" award.
Yes, it is long overdue and a bit late as this story goes, but here it is anyway.

As you may or may not know, there's a crazy, self-serving, attention whore sitting on her useless ass on the road near President Bush's house in Texas.
She is evidently there because she thinks 'Dubya' is totally and singly to blame for her son's death as a soldier in Iraq. In the meantime, other attention whore vultures are swarming around her looking to get their faces on the teevee, People magazine and Newsweak [sic].

Mamamontezz sums it all up in this post, and I totally agree with her.
Acidman's puts into perspective quite well too:

"My only question is... why is this lunatic woman getting the publicity she's receiving? It couldn't be left-wing media, could it? We know from listening to Al Franken that no such thing exists.

I wasn't alive at the time, but I heard my parents speak of it many times. During WWII, a lot of boys from Harlan County, Kentucky, enlisted in the military and went off to fight the Germans or the Japanese. Back then, there was one road in and one road out of Harlan.

Every time a government car came down the road, people watched anxiously from their windows to see where it was going to stop to deliver the message that nobody wanted to hear. It was always a house with a star in the window.

The mother wept, and people came over to deliver food and offer any help she might need. The minister came by to pray for her and ease her pain as best he could.

But NOBODY stood in a fucking ditch and blamed Franklin Roosevelt for "killing" her son. And if anybody HAD done such a thing, nobody would have paid any attention, or they would have dragged them off and shot 'em.

That woman didn't have the only son ever killed in a war. She's just got a really big mouth."

Exactly. And personally, I'm embarrased for the stupid bitch. One of these days, she'll wake up and realize she isn't everything in this world, and her son died doing exactly what he should have been doing.

So Cindy gets this installment's recipient of the award:


Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Cindy Sheehan, you are a
Steaming Pile Of Shit


Update: I hope you're very, very proud of yourself:

Husband of 'Peace Mom' Files for Divorce

The husband of Cindy Sheehan, the mother camped outside
President Bush's Texas ranch to protest the death of a son in the
Iraq war, has filed for divorce, according to court documents.

Patrick Sheehan filed the divorce petition Friday in Solano County court, northeast of San Francisco. His lawyer did not immediately return a call seeking comment Monday.
You lost your son, now you've lost your husband.
Keep it up. See how many more people you can alienate.

This Day in History

From HistoryChannel.com:
1977 Elvis Presley dies

Elvis Presley is found dead at Graceland, his mansion in Memphis. While congestive heart failure was cited as the official cause of death, drug abuse was suspected as a contributing factor.
Well, like him or not. I'll give him this - he is a legend.




"Uuh thankyou. Thankyouverymuch."

Spam Subject of the Day

"Here are the great girls - watch them f uck cavitate"
What's a cavitate?

Monday, August 15, 2005

This Day In History - A Lot!

Busy day in history today.
From historychannel.com:

Slacker

I totally spaced it, but I was going to put up a post letting my loyal readers know that I was going to be outta town for the weekend. So sorry.

But here's a post on our adventures.

I went on a fishing trip with my nephew and this guy. We had a great time. That is, after we got all of our things dried out from the MAJOR hail and thunderstorms we encountered on the way up. Here's a brief rundown.

On the way up friday morning, we ran into some hail and rain, and pretty much everything in the back of the truck got fairly soaked.
There was a brief lull in the storm so we got the tent set up, which of course told the rain gods that it was ok for them to stop sending rain.
But, they decided what the hell, and sent a lot more our way all afternoon and evening. Lighting a fire or even charcoal was a major accomplishment. So dinner was a little late. But that probably made it taste all that much better. Of course, dutch oven cooking is always good. The lamb stew was delicious.

Anyway, some canopies I had bought at such a deal were shit, so we weren't able to use them. We did manage to rig up a sort of canopy with one of them to shelter the fire pit a little so we could eventually get a fire going.
The tent leaked a bunch during the night, which soaked some things even more than the ride up in the back of the truck.

So saturday morning was spent setting up clothes lines to dry clothes. After drying out the clothes and the tent was taken care of, we got some better canopy covers rigged. The sun was out, it was nice and warm, breakfast was cooked, and it was time to go fishing.
It was gorgeous out saturday, so we got some fishing in. Back for a quick lunch and we were on our way fishing again. All in all, we had pretty decent luck.

Back to camp to make another dutch oven dinner. This time we had pork ribs.
If you've never had dutch oven cooking, you don't know what you're missing. But suffice it to say, we had some full bellies when bedtime rolled around.

A little bit of rain during the night, but not enough to cause grief like it did the night before. We and all of our equipment stayed dry.

So we pack up sunday morning and head home.
It was a good weekend, we all had a good time. The rain was a big pain in the ass, but we survived and enjoyed.

Spam Subject of the Day

"Go sing in crossroad obey"
Or, go piss up a rope.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

SAC-RE BLEU!!

From BBC NEWS:
France nabs gun-toting pensioner

An 81-year-old Frenchman has been given a one-year suspended jail sentence for firing a hunting rifle at helicopters dropping water on a forest blaze.

David Thiel opened fire on 21 July when the low-flying helicopters disturbed his afternoon nap near Grasse in the south of France, court sources said.
[...]
What's a frenchman doing with a gun? Do they even know how to use one other than to tie a white flag on the end?
But I guess I would be pissed too if those noisy helicopters interrupted my nap.

Welcome to MichaelMoore.com!

Damn! I'm going to have to backtrack and read the prior installments of this bullshit story now.
But here is today's entry from MichaelMoore-On.com [Bold is my doins']:
The Peaceful Occupation of Crawford (Day 5)

-- a message from Cindy Sheehan, Crawford, TX

Today started at 4am when the rain started blowing into my tent and my head and my feet started getting soaked then thunder and lightening came over my tent. I was really frightened for my life, so I abandoned ship and went into Crawford.
The soldiers in Iraq don't have that luxury, but nevertheless...
By the time we made our way through the floods and got into Crawford, I had a fever, sore throat, and bad headache. So I was made to rest and not have any interviews until noon.
Bummer. She had to take it easy and not exploit herself for a while.
We had a little bit of trouble with locals today.
Again, like our soldiers.
We are beginning to feel a little unwelcome here. One lady almost ran over a television crew.
I hope she has better aim next time.
She screamed at us that the neighbors are really mad ...so we moved down the road to our closest neighbor who is very sweet. Her husband is a medic who just got home from Iraq.
I hope she pays attention to this guy a little.
Again, I did tons of interviews. It looks like I will be on the cover of People Magazine. Time Magazine, Vanity Fair and Oprah's magazine will be interviewing me also.
[...]
Cough...attention whore...cough.
On the bright side, we'll all have plenty of pictures for the dartboard.
As for Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, Matt Drudge, etc...nothing you can say can hurt me or make me stop what we are doing. We are working for peace with justice. We are using peaceful means and the truth to do it.
Truth? You can't handle the truth!!! (Yes, I stole that line.)
I guess the truth frightens people. It frightens them so much, they have to resort to telling lies to rebut my arguments.
Unlike Michael Moore-on.
They are despicable human beings and not even worth our concern. Bill O'Reilly had the nerve to invite me on his show again today.
Oh, so you'll only appear for hand-picked interviews. Heaven forbid you have an interview with someone who may contradict you. So fucking typical I can't fucking stand it!!
Chicken-shit bitch. I could puke.

May Allah guide the angry woman's steering wheel a little better next time not only for the film crews, but for Cindy Sheehan too.


Update:
A comment posted by Tom vG over on Protein Wisdom:

Thanks for your anger mixed with empathy. Her pain is something I avoided commenting on since learning of hypocrisy, yet her prior words reverberate.

And, I believe that the proverbial “long run” the most important. I trust she will eventually recognize that she is in a stage of anger. And, that others are using her to place her on another, more crass, stage that she will regret being in the front of.

Or not, because losing my son is more than I can imagine to imagine.

Well put.
She is being exploited by these self-serving assholes and I don't think she even realizes it.
The only reason she has their support is so they can continue to point out how many things Bush is doing wrong.

What if there was some protesting going on about how many people were slaughtered in Iraq or how many are currently being beaten, starved to death or otherwisemistreated in North Korea.
Say protesters were pointing out how we should be executing those tyrant leaders. There would be no teevee coverage, no fat bastards making "documentaries", and no magazines wanting interviews.

Kaaaack! Spit!
Get off my fucking grass you god damn kids!!!

Spam Subject of the Day

"You allure the beautiful and sexual woman as if by magic!"
Yup. Always have!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

A Riddle

What he said.

Q: Why did grieving Mom Cindy Sheehan cross the road?

A: To catch Michael Moore a chicken, so that the slovenly propagandist could deep fry the thing in pancake batter and lard, then eat it with a pound of potato salad and a tray of buttered Hawaiian-styled sweet rolls. The fat, opportunistic bastard.*

I could only add a couple "fuckhead" 's in there somewhere.

Runaway Mower

From yahoo:
Runaway Bride Mows Lawn As Part of Service

LAWRENCEVILLE, Ga. - Instead of cutting out of town, runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks is cutting lawns.

Wearing an orange community service vest and a baseball cap with the slogan 'Life is good,' Wilbanks did part of her court-ordered community service Tuesday for lying to police after she ran off days before her wedding.
Coupla thoughts here:
  1. Who gives a fuck?
  2. It'll be good practice for when she's finally married.
That's all I got to say about thayat.

Spam Subject of the Day

"you are so good to me sill nozzle"
Yes, I still nozzle my dear.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

A Funny

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I
have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think of that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and said, 'bang, bang' and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that...??

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else shot that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."



This Day in History - Helter Skelter

From HistoryChannel.com:
1969 The Manson cult strikes the rich and famous

Five people are killed in film director Roman Polanski's home in Hollywood, California, including Polanski's pregnant wife, Sharon Tate, by a members of a cult. Less than two days later, they struck again, killing Leno and Rosemary LaBianca in their home. At both scenes, the killers scrawled messages in blood on the walls. The city of Los Angeles was in a state of panic until the leader of the cult, Charles Manson, was identified and arrested.

Looks like a nice enough guy.



Spam Subject of the Day

"Crackers and cheese heroes lowe"
They've always been my heroes.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Why

Mamamontezz tells us 'why' better than I have been able to thus far:
Cindy Sheehan, the mother of a young soldier killed in Iraq in 2004, protested outside the Bush ranch with a group of protesters demanding to speak to President Bush.
Supported by more than 50 shouting demonstrators, Cindy Sheehan, 48, told reporters, 'I want to ask George Bush: Why did my son die?'
Why did her son die? She honestly claims not to know why her son was killed in Iraq?
Go there and read the rest, but here's a spoiler:
"If you want to know why your son is dead, look in the mirror. He is dead because you raised him right, in spite of your behavior now."

Uncle Sam

No, not that one. I had an uncle who's name was Sam Young.
I saw a Thermos in the sporting goods store satuday, and it reminded me of a Uncle Sam.
A little background:
Sam and his wife (my mother's sister) lived in a cabin deep in the rocky mountains. Sam was raised on small ranch there and inherited some land from his parents, where after marrying, built a cabin on it for his family. They raised cattle there for many years.
This land was so far up into the mountains, that when the road was clear - about May to November, it still took roughly 1-1/2 houirs to drive to it. In the winter, it was impassable, so they lived in town during that time.

He was also an outfitter or hunting guide. He had built several stand-alone, one-roomed cabins for hunters to stay in while they were at the ranch. During the day, Uncle Sam and a couple other men would take the hunters looking for game, then in the evenings, they would come back to the ranch and my aunt (with the help of my mother, me, and anyone else she could find) would feed them dinner and cocktails.
These hunters liked to unwind quite thoroughly after a long, cold day on horseback. There were all sorts of tall tales and adventures being discussed over meals.

One of the stories was told by my Uncle Sam. It was about the best 'Thermos' he ever had. It went something like this:
"This was a few years back, and I'll never have another Thermos that good. I don't know exactly how it came undone, but it must have been when we had to go over that fallen tree.
"We were going up that draw just north of the cabin following some elk tracks, and there was a downed tree laying across the trail. My horse went to step over it and he had to sort of hop. First he brought the front feet up, then he sort of kicked with his hind feet. Well, sometime during all that, my Thermos came untied and fell off into the snow. I didn't realize it until I got back to the ranch that night and unsaddled the horse.
"Well, the next day we were going back up the same draw, so I thought I could find it again. No luck. I looked around that fallen tree for a good fifteen minutes or so, never did find the Thermos.
"Come next spring, after the snow left, I went up the same draw to set the traps on the line. Well I don't know how I missed it but right there by that fallen tree in the draw was my Thermos. I opened it up and by God, the coffee was still hot."

The Meaning Of Life

On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life span."
The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed again.

On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you




More On ANWR

So oil is over $63 per barrel now, and there are rumors of a gas shortage floating around.
We still haven't increased oil drilling or production of any sort here in the U.S., and we are still of course relying heavily on foreign oil.
Well, we either need to hurry up and kick Iraq's ass and steal their oil, or we really need to start producing more locally.

The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is still a prime candidate. Alaskans are for it for the most part, as it would help their economy.
But whacked out environmentalists (heavy on the mental) are still squawking about preserving this area in its pristine state so that all the wildlife there won't be disturbed.

So here's a little test. Look at the picture of a small section of ANWR below. Study it very carefully, and count how many different species of wildlife you see. Then give me a headcount of each species.





I don't see any either.

Now I'm not advocating destroying this area, I'm only saying that a ten acre drilling site on this chunk of land ain't shit. This is a tiny snippet of a huge expanse.
As an example, take a dime and place it on your screen at the base of those mountains. That's about the size of the area which will be used to reduce our reliance on foregin oil, if we even use that much.
That isn't going to disrupt the entire ecosystem of ANWR.

Spam Subject of the Day

"A find on outflank viviparous"
I don't get this one at all.

Friday, August 05, 2005

NEWSFLASH

Offa yahoo:
Americans didn't flock to Canada after Bush win

Canadians can put away those extra welcome mats -- it seems Americans unhappy about the result of last November's presidential election have decided to stay at home after all.

In the days after President Bush won a second term, the number of U.S. citizens visiting Canada's main immigration Web site shot up sixfold, prompting speculation that unhappy Democrats would flock north.

But official statistics show the number of Americans actually applying to live permanently in Canada fell in the six months after the election.
[...]
GASP!!! What? Surely you jest.
Toby Condliffe, who heads the Canadian chapter of Democrats Abroad, did have an explanation of sorts.

"I can only assume the Americans who checked out the Web site subsequently checked out our winter temperatures and further took note that the National Hockey League was being locked out and had second thoughts," he told Reuters.
Yup. That's it. Cold temps and no hockey.
Snopes has a a couple follow-ups on some of the morons who vowed to move there if Bush was elected. I found it quite amuzing:
What happened to those celebrities who had said they'd flee the country? The London Times' Jack Malvern attempted to track them down a few days after Bush's inauguration on 20 January 2001. Alec Baldwin was sticking to his previous denial:
Alec [Baldwin] was busy denying everything. "My wife never heard of Focus magazine and never talked to them," he told the New York Daily News on August 19. Then, on August 20: "Kim [Basinger] did indeed speak to a Focus magazine . . . but my wife and I never said unequivocally that we would leave the country if Bush won. Never."
Robert Altman, who had since re-interpreted his previous remarks, was disinclined to offer further comment:
Second up the gangplank was the film director Robert Altman, the man behind such films as Short Cuts and The Player. "If George Bush gets elected President, I will move back to France," he told reporters at the Cannes film festival. "He's not a very smart man. He's been put up by his father and a bunch of cronies." Despite the fact that this statement was caught on film, Altman later denied making it. He meant to say, he said, that he would move to Paris, Texas, "because the state would be better off if [Bush] is out of it".
When contacted for this article, Altman was no longer inclined to discuss the matter. "Isn't this all getting a little silly?" he asked.
And Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder was disappointed with the election results, but apparently not disappointed enough to make good on his boast:
So far Eddie [Vedder] has only got as far as Hawaii, where, his spokesman explains, he is commiserating by "catching a wave". "He won't be leaving the US but he is extremely disappointed," says Matt Reynolds of Epic Records
Pierre Salinger, at least, reportedly stuck to his guns:
In fact, the only person who has made good on his promise is Pierre Salinger, former press secretary to President Kennedy, who is moving to France.
Yeah, with a quickness.
What a bunch of big mouthed wimps. I guess they figgered that if they didn't, everyone would forget their promises and move on.

Coal Mining Sucks

From the AP:
1 Dead, 1 Missing in Ky. Mining Accident:

A roof collapse at a Kentucky coal mine killed one miner Thursday, and rescue crews spent most of the day digging through a wall of rocks in search of another miner who was presumed dead.

There has been no communication, no visible evidence that this miner is alive, said Holly McCoy-Johnson, a spokeswoman for the Kentucky Office of Mine Safety and Licensing.

A section of mine roof 20 feet wide, 20 feet long and 11 feet high collapsed on the workers late Wednesday, said Paris Charles, executive director of the Kentucky Office of Mine Safety and Licensing. The miners were part of a crew of about eight men who were performing retreat mining — a dangerous process of removing coal pillars that support the roof.
As I mentioned before, I used to be a coal miner. I'm glad I was able to get out of it.
As a young kid, I was drawn to the mines by the lure of good pay. But just like any other good paying job, you sort of paint yourself into a corner. Especially when you're "young, dumb, and fulla cum". You buy toys, play a lot, spend all your money, and keep working in the mine.
Eventually, you get married and have a family, whereupon you can't quit because you have this family to support. Few other jobs in the area would pay nearly as well, so there you are. Stuck in the mine.
But the mine I was working caught fire, had to be shut down, and everyone was eventually laid off. That's when I was more or less forced to make a career change, or live off wlefare until my number came up on the hiring panel, which could take months or even years.

Anyway, I digress...
Retreat mining, or more commonly know by miners as 'pulling pillars', is a very dangerous and extremely nervewracking experience.
Picture a town, with streets and blocks. The coal is mined where the 'streets' would be, and the 'blocks' would be left alone until you reach the end of the coal. (Example.)
The 'end' could be the other side of the mountain (Example.), a big fault or whatever. You then start removing the 'blocks' a specific way.

You start by splitting the pillar in half, then splitting each of the halves, then you attempt to extract all you can from those quarters before the roof becomse too unstable. You then retreat and wait for the roof to cave.
This is 'controlled cave' and is an important part of the process. It releases weight in the mined out area. If the controlled cave doesn't occur, the roof farther away from the working area becomes too heavy and makes a death trap of the whole area.

But as the above story points out, there are sometimes uncontrolled caves, where miners and machinery get buried.
We had that happen on our crew once. Two co-workers were buried in a roof fall which measured roughly 20' X 30'. They both got busted up quite bad. One with a few broken bones and a truckload of bruises. The other had numerous broken bones, crushed flesh, internal injuries and coal embedded in his skin. He barely made it.

Anyway, I don't miss coal mining. I do empathize with the miners who get to dig their friends out of that shit though.


Update: For some reason I can't seem to get a goddamn post to post in it's entirety.