"Obama's An Idiot" is where my political bitches now live. Go ye thereto and read.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Ask The Curmudgeon

DEAR CURMUDGEON: My husband of a year, "Michael," is everything a partner should be: generous, caring, supportive, intelligent, easygoing and optimistic. My ex-boyfriend, "George," is none of those things. He's controlling, obsessive-compulsive, inflexible and unhappy. Don't get me wrong, George has his good points; otherwise, we wouldn't have dated for four years. But while Michael fills my days with happiness and laughter, George was more the tear-inducing type. My problem is that when it comes to the bedroom, George really rang my bell. Sex with Michael is very pleasant and usually fulfilling, but George could set me on fire. Please know that I wouldn't touch George with a 10-foot pole. We broke up for valid reasons, and my husband is my one true love (forgive the cliche). I just wish that Michael and I could have the level of intensity that I had with George. How do I get back into that mindset?

--- LONG ON LOVE, SHORT ON SPARK IN THE U.K.
Well now Sparky, or should I say "Sparkless". Grow the fuck up and quit whining. Maybe you're not the most exciting fuck either. Maybe you are a drag in the sack, laying there like a wet dishrag. You don't like the way he fucks you, do something different. Maybe pounce on him a little more. Get kinky. Expand your horizons a bit.
Either that or go find some other poor bastard that could float your boat. You know, a little on the side maybe? Someone who can put up with your whiney-assed shit?

Self centered bitch.




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4 comments:

country roads said...

Brilliant!!

curmudgeon said...

Ah, shucks. Thanks!

The British Bird. said...

omg the photo hahaha! I remember leaving a bra stuffed under my boyfriends mums sofa once.. she must have found it because it was in his room a few days later. she never said a word though..
As usual, the world is a better place for your insight, and ur ..umm diplomacy. :)

curmudgeon said...

The wife of a married friend of mine found a bra buried in the sheets as she was making the bed one day. Of course, it wasn't hers.

Unlike your boyfriend's mother though, she did say something. :)